Joke! Very funny joke

1. A colleague went on a business trip to other places. The local colleagues were very hospitable and held a banquet in a private room of a special hotel that night. More than a dozen men and women chatted non-stop after they sat down, and only one person was ordering food. After ordering, everyone is asked for their opinions: "The dishes are ordered, is there anything you want to add?" > In this case, we in Beijing usually ask the lady to tell the names of the dishes that have been ordered. So a friend from Beijing said: "Miss, please report me." > The lady glanced at him and made no move. > "Miss, please report me!" The buddy was a little anxious. > The young lady’s face turned red, but she still didn’t move. > "What's the matter? Do you want me to report that I didn't hear you?" Brother, I'm really anxious. > A female colleague quickly smoothed things over: "Miss, please report everyone one by one, ah." > The lady mumbled and asked: "Then, then... can I just hug the female and not the male?" > " Poof!" A big sip of tea that a female colleague had just taken sprayed all over the person in front of her. More than a dozen people laughed together, and the lady was even more at a loss. 2. When the dishes are served, serve the mixed noodles first. A large plate of rapi was served, followed by several plates of toppings, sauces and the like. The lady was not paying attention when serving the food, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. The buddy also deliberately teased Meng Zi, pretending to be gloomy and asked the lady: "What should I do?" > The lady said calmly: "Anything can be done." > "Then what do you think we should do?" > "What do you want to do? Just do whatever you want? ” > “What do you usually do here? ” > “How about I help you? ” > I saw the lady quickly putting together some ingredients and sauces. Pour it all over the lapi'er, hold chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, brush it a few times and mix it. Then he said to the guy: "Sir, it's mixed and ready to eat."> The guy stared at the plate and didn't say anything for a long time. Another colleague said "Thank you" to the lady on his behalf. 3. The main course is served - roasted lamb leg, a large plate of meat bones, and a plate of salt and pepper. A friend from Beijing loved this food very much. He grabbed a leg of lamb without any ceremony, took a bite, and started eating it. When the lady saw it, she said: > "Sir, this should be eaten with dipping." > The buddy looked at the lady doubtfully, and then at his local colleagues. A local colleague said: "It tastes better when dipped in it." > The buddy stood up with the leg of lamb and took another bite. > The lady hurriedly came over and asked: "Sir, do you need anything?" > "Ah? No." > "Then please sit down and eat." > The man muttered and sat down, looking at everyone, confused. lose. Carefully, he brought the leg of lamb to his mouth and carefully took a bite. > The lady said again: "Sir, you have to eat this with dipping." > The man stood up, waved the leg of lamb and shouted angrily: "You have to eat standing up, and you have to eat sitting down, how are you going to eat it! ?” 4. The table was full of food and wine, and the leader stumbled over. > The whole audience stood up to greet him, and there was a roar of greetings. > The lady serving the banquet next to me is very beautiful. She is new, inexperienced and quite nervous. > Everyone sat down, and someone called out: "Miss, tea!" > The lady hurriedly came forward and pointed with her finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, ***seven!" > Everyone laughed, and the leader added : "Pour the tea!" > The lady hurriedly "checked" again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or seven." > Someone asked: "What are you counting?" > The lady He hesitated and replied in a low voice: "I am a dog." > Everyone was angry and shouted: "Call your manager!" The manager came in, lowered his hands and smiled mockingly, and asked: "Everyone, what do you want to tell me?" > The leader said: "No. Ask more and find out the age and zodiac sign of this young lady. " > The manager was puzzled and followed his orders and replied: "18 years old, she is a dog! " > The leader laughed, and everyone laughed. The leaders are too generous to hold people accountable, but the general public is too generous to hold them accountable.

5. After thirty years of drinking, a dish was served: "Stewed Bastard!" > Everyone was happy, but they did not forget the rules. Someone used chopsticks to poke the Bastard's head and said: "Leader, move it, Leader, move it!" > The leader looked at being dialed The turtle's head was trembling wildly, and he was unhappy in his heart. He didn't want to mess up the end of his words and didn't want to violate everyone's good wishes, so he took a spoon to drink the soup and said: "Okay, okay! Everyone, please do as you like." > Someone else. Feng said: "Yes - the bastard should drink soup!" The leader was so angry that he almost spit out his rice. > Not long after, when the soup was almost gone, something round appeared and asked: "Miss, what is this?" > The lady hurriedly replied: "It's a bastard." Everyone was surprised again: "The leader eats first, the leader eats first!" > The leader was very pleased that he did not hear the "unlucky" words, and called the lady: "Give everyone points!" > For a long time, the lady did not move, and the leader asked angrily: "Why, can't you tell the difference?" > Miss He said in embarrassment: "Seven people, six bastards, how do you want me to divide them?" > After hearing this, everyone stretched their necks and stared, their mouths full of delicious food, it was difficult to swallow. `