Looking for super funny short jokes. . Short or long hair

1. When I have money, I will buy a bus, use the dedicated bus lane, and park at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this Is it a private car?

2. Sir, are you driving or staying in a hotel?

I poop

3. I was young, how about you, are you old?

4. Gentlemen are nothing more than patient wolves

5. It is not necessarily a good thing for everyone to stand on one side, for example, they all stand on one side of the boat

< p>6. Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person...

7. You said...you like me? Actually...I started...actually I also...well, let me tell you, actually I quite like it. I like myself.

8. As a typical failure, you are so successful

9. When I was a child, I just learned to ride a bicycle and ran to the street before I knew how to do it. I saw an old man walking in front of me, and I felt like I was going to bump into him, so I yelled, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there without moving. As a result, I turned around and bumped into him. The old man stood up and said, what are you aiming for?

10. If there is 300W, everyone will think it is better to buy a Mercedes-Benz or a Ferrari.

Reply: It is best to buy 300 second-hand Ottos, hire 300 drivers, and let them drive behind you, sometimes in an S shape and sometimes in a B shape

< p>11. Smile more and beware of emotional colds on cloudy days!

12. I smile from side to side to the sky, and after I finish laughing, I go to bed!

13. Lu Yao knew that the horse power was insufficient, and as time went by, people became unpredictable

14. My dad expressed his opinion on my gaining weight: Han Hong was not dead, but Han Hong was still alive. disease.

15. I never hold grudges. I usually avenge them on the spot.

16. Don’t cry at my grave. Dirty my path to reincarnation.

17. Mr. Zhang, if you press CTRL+C on your home computer and then press CTRL+V on your company computer, it will definitely not work. Not even the same article. No, no, no matter how expensive a computer is.

18. I thought you were just a number between 1 and 3, but I didn’t expect you were a combination of 1 and 3.

20. When a cannibal went to work, the manager repeatedly told him not to eat his colleagues, so he agreed. After a few days, I couldn't help it anymore and secretly ate a janitor

and was discovered immediately. The sentiment is: Never eat people who are really doing things.

21. You scold me now because you don’t understand me yet. When you understand me in the future, you will definitely hit me.

22. You never know when someone will say goodbye to you inadvertently and then never see you again.

23. The road to success is always under construction.

24. If I don’t go to hell, whoever loves me will go there

25. Guess an English sentence: "ABABBBAAAAAABBBABAAAABBBBAABBBBAAAAAA"? 〈Answer: Long time no C〉

26. I miss your facial features and think vaguely. ——Suddenly I feel that most of the yearning is like this, getting weaker and weaker (I vaguely remember that this is the lyrics of Faye Wong's "I Don't Want This Too", I don't know if it is correct?)

27. After many years, I sigh, Those two teenagers: one amazed the time, the other gentled the years.

28. If she (he) says to you: "Forget me." You tell the other person: "I never remember."

29. What do you think about us? Well, I will always remember that I will never let you go even if I am a ghost.

30. Dear female colleagues, please don’t charge me, my wife has caller ID.

31. Smile, wave, goodbye, it’s over.

32. I think about it, I once determined to be a fun person

33. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

34. Well, just give me an affordable grave.

35. After living for more than 20 years, I have not been able to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken

36. While I am young, I can do something for the country and the people. I've done all the bad things, it's only been a few years.

37. Earn money from selling cabbage, but have the heart to sell white powder

38. Seven-year-old boys are the most terrifying creatures on the earth. They are curious and capable. Motivation, destructive power, and the Protection of Minors Act.

39. The most valuable thing about a person is that he keeps his word - I won't pay back the money if I say it!

40. I said: You can sleep as much as you want, but sleep very much.

41. Although I believe in eachother, I may not believe in you

42. God said: Don’t forget to bring an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers soon

43 , Special people never say that they are special, such as me

44. My fault is too great, but Tai said he has no time to come

45. I know that everything in the world is scattered. Banquet, but, at least, I want to have a good time at the banquet!

46. I will walk my sunshine path, and you will cross your Naihe Bridge.

47. The world belongs to us and the children, but in the end it belongs to the grandchildren!

48. Whenever I am in trouble, I recite the Tibetan Sutra: "Oh mani moo ma coax", which translated into English is: All money go my home!

49. Finally The simple secret of longevity——keep breathing and don’t stop breathing

50. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!

51. Kindness means that when others are hungry, I eat meat without chewing my tongue

52. In the long road of life, there will always be a few wrong steps.

53. I never bully the weak~~~I didn’t know he was weaker than me before I bullied him...

54. You go on your overpass, I’ll go on mine Underpass.

55. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over...

56. Wherever I fall, I get up...always. Fall there, I suspect there is a pit there!

57. Alas! If this person is out of shape, even his headaches are migraine

58. I don’t know much about music, so I am sometimes unreliable and sometimes inattentive. tune.

59. When people do something good, they always want the ghosts and gods to know about it. When they do something bad, they always think the ghosts and gods don’t know. We make it too difficult for the ghosts and gods.

60. If you ask me who is the most magnanimous person in the world, just tell me to do my part

61. If you can't tolerate me, it means either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.

62. When you walk to a place with limited water, you feel thirsty; when you sit and watch the clouds rise, you feel dizzy.

63. I wanted to learn the Phoenix Nirvana, but who knew that I would accidentally... become familiar with it!

64. Anyway, my destiny is always different from their calculation. I don’t know whether they calculated it wrong or I lived it wrong.

65. The smile with a 30-degree angle on your mouth cannot be found in Baidu search.

66. God will definitely forgive me, because that is his profession.

67. When you hold your hand, you will know that your son is ugly, and your face will burst into tears. If you don’t leave, I will leave.

68. Is there a P for handsome? Maybe he will be eaten by pawns!

69. Don’t tell me to come here—I am Afanti!

70. If you bother me again, I will tie you to a straw boat and borrow arrows!

71. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone. If someone offends me, I’ll be polite. If someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return. If someone offends me again, I’ll eliminate the root cause.

72. I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me? !

73. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end being single.

74. Learn Feng Shui when you have time. Having a good tomb after your death can make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house during your lifetime.

75. We all thought that we could provide for love. Death, in fact, love cannot kill people, it will only put a needle in the most painful place, and then we will cry without tears, we toss and turn, we will become a doctor after a long illness, and we will become steel after a hundred times. You are not the wind, and I am not the sand. No matter how lingering we are, we will never reach the end of the world. I wiped away my tears. We all have to go to work tomorrow morning.

76. The world is like a large claw machine. I only want you through the glass window.

77. If you leave first, don’t blame me for turning your back when you turn around. you.

78. A person has only one heart but two atria. One lives in happiness; the other lives in sadness. Don't laugh too loud or you'll wake up the sad people next to you.

79. Be kind to yourself, because your life is short; be kind to the people around you, because you may not meet them in the next life.

80. Some people say that the merry-go-round is the cruelest thing. Games, chasing each other but there is an eternal distance

81. If there is an afterlife, be a tree and stand for eternity without any gestures of joy and sorrow. Half of it is peaceful in the dust, half of it is flying in the wind, half of it is covered with shade, and half of it is bathed in sunshine. Very silent and very proud, never rely on, never look for!

82. Speaking of striking up a conversation, we also need to pay attention to technique. We need to find the right person to strike up a conversation at the right time and the right place. For example, I am online right now

83. I think when I loved you, I was as low as the dust, but no flowers bloomed. Later, the dust just became more and more and finally buried us all alive. It turns out that love really cannot be too humble. , just dust without nourishment is not enough

84. Feeling unhappy is because the pursuit is not "happiness", but "being happier than others".

85. The 5-year-old daughter asked her father to help her do something.

Dad: "Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few times. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again."

Daughter: "Old Zheng!"

Dad: "Hey!"

Daughter: "Your girl is so beautiful