Revealing the real Ji Xiaolan will surprise you!

When the iron-toothed Ji Xiaolan was broadcast in prime time on major TV stations, people familiar with history collapsed. It's not Ji Xiaolan-it's said that a group of determined audiences bought the book "2 1 Century's Guide to Food, Clothing, Housing and Transportation" and prepared to go to Zhang Guoli Theory in person. Why do they want to turn Ji Xiaolan, who is known for his heavy taste, gossiping, vicious, black and fat, stuttering and inseparable from women, into an honest, hateful and affectionate person? The somebody else is "a golden gun beat Ji Xiaolan".

Iron teeth and copper teeth are a cold joke.

"The title of the play is a cold joke. Iron teeth, copper teeth, Ji Xiaolan? Ji Xiaolan is obviously a stutterer, so cynicism is not kind. " Zhu Zhu, a good friend of Ji Xiaolan and a mentor of Emperor Jiaqing, was in distress situation when interviewed by reporters. "Of course, most people are afraid of him. I'm the only one in the naked poem? The sequel mentioned in' Zongpo River, stuttering and writing a book'. In fact, stuttering doesn't hinder this guy's poisonous tongue at all, and if you think about it, he stammered some harsh words, which doubled his lethality. "

Zhu several said

Ji Xiaolan once made an old eunuch cry. With the dream of literary youth, the people's old eunuch finally got up the courage to ask Ji Xiaolan, a great genius, the skills of writing couplets, and came up with a pair of couplets: "Little Hanlin wears winter clothes and takes a summer fan. Have you read the novel Spring and Autumn Annals? " Spring, summer, autumn and winter are all here. This guy, taking the route, jokes about other people's physical defects: "The old lady's country comes from the south to the north. Is that thing still there? "

A patient with mild stuttering proves that he is fluent in thinking and language by grasping and cursing. Several court officials went to Ji Xiaolan's house to pay New Year's greetings, saw his dog and asked, "Is this a wolf or a dog?" Ji Xiaolan said, "The identification method is very simple. A wolf with a tail hanging down and a dog with a tail hanging up. " On the same day, Shangshu went back and tied the villain.

"In fact, Ji Xiaolan's vitriol did not please Gan Long." According to a court eunuch who asked not to be named, once Ji Xiaolan pleaded with Gan Long, Gan Long flew into a rage. He scolded him on the spot: "I am very good at your literature, so I advocate excellent storage." How can we talk about state affairs? "

The eunuch pointed out the essence: "I see, Ji Xiaolan is just a player. When Gan Long saw that Ji Xiaolan read a lot, reacted quickly and spoke humorously, he took it as a pet to play with.

A sex addict who has sex five times a day.

Emperor Qianlong, the supreme leader of the Association, was fascinated by Ji Xiaolan. Who said he was "nearsighted"? If you don't do eye exercises, your eyes will be nearsighted. It's polite to wear glasses imported from the west, but ugliness is fatal. You know, Emperor Qianlong was surrounded by top handsome guys, such as Xiao Shenyang, Wang Jie, Gao Dong and Fu Changan. How should Ji Xiaolan get out of the predicament?

"Ji Xiaolan is the Qing version of Ximen Qing, China version of the tiger? Woods, be a sex addict who loves five times a day. " Kimmy Shuen, a writer and historian of the Republic of China, broke the news, "I hate you illiterate people who are keen on gossip. There is nothing to do but read more books, and there is a lot of dog blood and adultery in it. Also, don't tell me that unofficial history can't be trusted. Cai Heng's Book of Insects was not written. Ji Wenda said that he was a wild monster, turned around and ate a meat. There are several women in Japan without a grain of rice. Five drums, one at home, one at noon, one at dusk, one at sleep. An indispensable person. Moreover, those lucky and happy people are often there. "

Please repeat the above paragraph ten times. Is this really not a pornographic live broadcast?

This guy is sexy. Ji Xiaolan's life principle is never to let any chlorophyll appear on the dining table. He has three meals a day, a pot of strong tea and ten plates of pork for each meal-basically the dietary standard of Mr. Hu in the zoo. A man who claimed to love meat tried to please Ji Xiaolan and recommended braised pork rice as the ultimate enjoyment. Ji Xiaolan disdainfully asked: What is rice? Eating something neither fish nor fowl is a personal insult to the stomach!

After eating meat? Fuck around. The objects of "Japanese imperial concubines" are diversified, and the number should also be: once before going to court, once after returning to court, once at noon, once at night, once before going to bed, five times a day. This is the basic configuration. Sometimes "sexual desire" comes, and there is no upper limit-people can't help asking, did Ji Xiaolan secretly invent Viagra behind the backs of the broad masses of the people?

When Ji Xiaolan compiled Siku Quanshu, he lived in the palace and had no women for several days. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheekbones were as red as blood. Long came to inspect the work. I was shocked to see him like this. I felt that he was too stressed at work and possessed. . Long is the boss of Nice. When he asked Ji Xiaolan what had happened, Ji Xiaolan was too lazy to play tricks. He told the emperor that he was hungry.

The dragon was very frank and sent him two maids as welfare. The big boss is too kind, considerate and enthusiastic. As soon as this story came out, people have been asking for more than 200 years: "Is Gan Long still hiring?"

80-year-old, lustful and active, Xiaolan met two maids, Ou Qian and Ai Yun, and felt refreshed, nourishing yin and strengthening yang. Showing off as an "imperial concubine" as soon as they met. In fact, Ji Xiaolan had a wife and six concubines, and now the emperor has given them two more. This is the so-called "mistress". Will his harem lineup be too messy?

No. One of the greatest advantages of concubines in Ji Xiaolan is that they died young. I wonder if the kidney function is too good, or if his wife is too scheming?

/kloc-married at the age of 0/6 and married the daughter of the county magistrate Ma. The Majia family is a big family, and the ancestor is Ma Zhiyuan. He wrote: "Dead vines make old trees faint, and small bridges flow." . Ji Xiaolan's first wife, Ma Shi, was born in a scholarly family and lived a long life. The women around my husband have changed for generations, as old as stars. Ji Xiaolan expressed regret for his long life. Take the time to mention Ma Shi two or three times. Basically, they all use a tone similar to referring to the walls and sofas at home. They have no feelings.

Ji Xiaolan was full of affection for his favorite concubine, Guo Tsefu, and spent more than 300 words on how they hooked up. Feelings can be roughly quantified: a literati's feelings depend on how many words he wrote for you, a businessman's feelings depend on how much money he spent for you, and a clown's feelings depend on how many legs he ran for you. Others say that feelings that cannot rise to money are not true feelings.

It is said that Guo's mother had a fetal dream when she was pregnant. In her dream, she saw a man selling colored thread on the Dragon Boat Festival, so Guo was called Guo Tsefu. As a result, this child is really blessed. At the age of 12, he was attracted by such a great genius and scholar as Ji Xiaolan. Her parents acted according to the script of Shanshan's parents in Notes on Reading Wei Caotang, and they couldn't wait to have sex on the spot to save a big sleep.

Of course, this does not hinder Ji Xiaolan's deep affection for another pet, Shen Shi. He wrote seven or eight hundred words to her, wrote a biography for her alone and recorded her poems. Unfortunately, she died young. Before her death, she went to Yuanmingyuan to visit Ji Xiaolan who was on duty there. Ji Xiaolan was deeply saddened by her death and wrote two poems for the portrait of Shen Shi. One of them wrote: "It's a bit like doing something wrong, but the sweet soul returns in the middle of the month." When there is no trace of spring, the most important thing is vagueness. "

Men and women are busy being moved by this infatuation. Ji Xiaolan soon took Shen Shi's maid Yutai as his concubine, claiming that only in this way could he miss Shen Shi.

It is said that China men mature too late and decline too early, while Arab men are still in their forties, eighties or thirties. On the famous sex addicts, the United States has former President Bill Clinton and Oscar winner Michael? Douglas, actor David? Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Du Xing. What about us? At least Ji Xiaolan, how inspiring.

The above is just unofficial history, please forgive me if I offend you!