Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Give an egg to the recruits

Give an egg to the recruits

In our department, we call our new colleagues "recruits an egg shaped thing". Because we are a team, we fight, conquer and complete the project just like soldiers, so we pretend to be veterans and recruits.

First of all, I would like to express my welcome and thanks, and send my best wishes.

Welcome to the big family of the company, where there is a good corporate culture, beautiful office environment, harmonious colleague relationship and positive working atmosphere.

The company is called "Orthopedic Whampoa Military Academy" by employees. As the name implies, you will learn a wealth of knowledge and skills here, and everyone here will grow rapidly. At the same time, you will also experience tempering and "destruction".

If you have work experience, you can compare its "difference". There is no complicated colleague relationship, no lazy working state, no oppression and laissez-faire for old employees. Your master will do his best to teach.

If you just graduated, congratulations, you earned it!

Thank you for choosing this place.

There you are. Come with us.

You injected fresh blood into the company and helped the department to complete the work smoothly. You can also give full play to your strengths and personality and apply them to your work.

Bless you and look forward to it! I hope you can adapt to the atmosphere here and learn knowledge. May your ability be improved, and may you choose glad you came.

May you like it here, love it here and love this big family.

As the company's early "boutique", I want to give you some advice and help:

First, integrate into the collective as soon as possible.

When you come to a new environment, I believe you are a stranger. Joining the group as early as possible can help you find your own position as soon as possible, and you can also get started as soon as possible.

Integration into the collective here includes integration into the department and integration into the company.

1. Eat more with old employees.

If you are catering, I suggest you go to the canteen or order food with the old staff a few months ago!

Eating together can help you get to know your colleagues better. Usually work is very busy, and it is estimated that only the master has more contact. Imagine that after coming for a month, I can't remember the names of other members of the department and I'm not familiar with them. How do they integrate into the collective?

Everyone is very nervous at work and will not talk about anything else. When eating, relax, chat and talk about hobbies, and the gossip of astronomical and geographical stars will naturally become familiar.

So having dinner together is a good opportunity to break into the team and publicize your personality.

2. Participate in more departmental activities.

Departmental activities are colorful, such as outing, sports competition, expansion, travel and dinner. The activities of this department show the whole face of this group. Only by playing with everyone can we share a channel with everyone and catch up with everyone at work.

3. Take the initiative to go to other departments for a run

The bigger the company, the more departments and the more complex the organizational structure. Taking the initiative to go to other departments can help you understand the company environment as soon as possible and get to know colleagues in other departments.

For example, go to manpower to send time sheets, go to financial reimbursement, go to administration to get office supplies, go to publicity to get newspapers, and go to the front desk to send and receive express delivery. When something really happens, it is better to run ahead of time than to get lost in an office that looks almost the same.

4. Take over the extra work of the department

In this department, some extra work must be done for free. Don't underestimate these jobs, it is very important to exercise people.

For example, maintaining green plants in the office, counting attendance every month, applying for office supplies, and counting reimbursement expenses. Everyone volunteered to do the work, so they had to take up extra time.

Take it off voluntarily, and let others think that you are a diligent child. The more trivial things, the more you can exercise a person's ability. There is nothing wrong with doing more. The ability accumulated in yourself is far more important than that salary.

5. Participate in the group activities of the company.

In addition to departments, the company will also hold some activities regularly. Dragon boat races, academic conferences, donations, some business competitions, company internal publications and so on.

Participating in these activities can let you know about different companies and yourself.

For example, when I first came here, I occasionally contributed to the company's internal magazines. Freshmen who graduate can earn a little money for writing and have a small extra income. They will be very happy. Later, I also signed up as a columnist, responsible for "traveling around the world", "classic recommendation" and "corporate culture". At that time, it was found that there were not many people writing manuscripts. In fact, they are not good at writing, and there are many people who write better than them. But I still take an active part, whether it is good or not, and I am not afraid of others watching my jokes. The person in charge asked me to write a manuscript. As long as I have time, I will never refuse.

Later, I was invited to write an article on "Exposing the World" that I didn't dare to touch at ordinary times, because I wanted to write some professional content related to the industry. After collecting some information, it is not so hard to find. So later, I also took the initiative to try to write a few times.

After a long time, writing has become a habit of mine. In fact, I still feel that my writing style is not good, but I have improved a lot compared with myself a few years ago.

In addition to expressing feelings, sharing experiences and saying what you want to say, writing is also helpful to your work. Sometimes when you need to write some explanatory documents such as explanatory letters and complaints at work, you will never be like constipation, and you can't hold a word for 30 minutes.

There are many business people in the company, scattered all over the country. It's embarrassing to take part in group activities and see their true colors. They talked on the phone for half a year, but they didn't know each other very well. Meeting can help them get to know each other better.

Second, ask more questions? Learn more? Doeje

Whether you have work experience or just graduated from the workplace, everyone starts from scratch and has a lot to learn. Every new job will encounter many problems. You must ask more questions at this time. If not, don't think about it yourself. Your host will not bother you because of your problems, nor will he think you are stupid because you are not normal. Ignorance is a taboo in the workplace, and mistakes are likely to cause losses to the company. Moreover, you can ask anyone except the master, department or company.

As the saying goes, the master leads the door and the practice is in the individual. The master will teach you all the big and small things in his work, but he also needs to learn and understand. Just keep up with the teacher to explain the knowledge points in class, and also explain the problem-solving ideas and examples, but if you want to master them completely, you still have to learn and use them yourself.

As the saying goes, a good memory is not as good as a bad writing, and no one can remember it once, let alone master it once. So be sure to take notes in your notebook. If not, read more books. This is very important. Let me talk about it separately.

Third, don't ask a question repeatedly, learn to take notes.

Your master is not a full-time master, he also has his own job. In the busy and limited 8 hours, every minute counts. So the master must listen carefully, remember carefully and take notes!

Do not ask the same question more than three times.

When explaining for the first time, you must ask directly what you don't understand, and don't bother yourself.

The second independent operation, I don't understand. I studied it myself first, and then asked me if I could understand it. Don't ask what this is about. Start from the beginning. But to say that I logged into the website according to the user name and password I said last time, then entered here and clicked here. I have a question here that needs to be said again.

The first time is a normal explanation, the second time is a supplementary question, and the third time is consolidation. But I asked again and again, and every time it was the same as the first operation, so I couldn't say it.

Master is a human being, and he will collapse.

In fact, when I first talked about it, in addition to explaining the operation process, local experts who are important, difficult and error-prone will emphasize it. Record it yourself, and next time you follow this operation, you can usually handle it yourself.

If you want to draw inferences. Many places in the works are interlinked. 1? 2 can count, 2? 1 should also be able to do it. Don't read a strange content and say that you can't.

Fourth, about inspection.

Inspection is the most important. Every company has an internal inspection mechanism, not to mention newcomers. You must check your papers when you go out. If the master can't spare the time, you should show it to others. Who can guarantee that there is nothing wrong?

Check all the documents issued by yourself first, and then show them to others for inspection. After the inspection, the local master who has the problem will mark it, and then modify the place where the problem is found. The modification must be careful.

I think it's disrespectful to turn over some documents for others to check without looking at them.

After checking, for simple documents, such as missing chapters, you can make them up, or you just need to adjust the position without checking again. If it is a document such as a description, you can show it to the master again if you are not sure.

More than 200 pages and a half packs of A4 paper. If there are any problems, draw them and label them for the disciples to correct. After the disciple corrected it, he gave me a clean document: Master, I don't trust you, please help me look at it again! I burst into tears in an instant.

As mentioned above, some don't need to be checked, and some are uncertain. Leave the label on it, turn to that page and show it to the owner again.

Secondly, pay attention to the time problem.

Inspectors should be responsible for the documents and the people who make them, and should not be careless. Sometimes, it takes about the same time to find a document as to make one yourself, or even an hour to explain your requirements for making this document.

Therefore, documents that take a lot of time need to be checked, so be sure to make an appointment one day in advance. The inspector will arrange the next day's work in advance, and will communicate with others to arrange the inspection if there is no time. Simple documents should be said in the morning.

The document will be released in half an hour, and the apprentice is holding a document that I have to spend an hour reading before I can check it. Okay, I'm crying again.

Master, why do you always cry? The master is also very helpless!

Fifth, make up the shortcomings

When you have been employed for a long time, you will find that your weakness is the short board.

For example, poor writing ability, poor use of Excel, slow typing, etc. seriously affect work skills and need to learn and exercise by yourself.

Six, self-improvement

Some things are intangible, but they have to be said to be an ability and an indispensable ability. This ability is accumulated over time, and it is also applicable to other industries and jobs besides my own work.

Ability to communicate with others: the same sentence, the same result, said in different ways, gives people a different feeling. Good communication methods are more acceptable when spoken.

Ability to improvise: There are often some unexpected events at work, which are threatening and each one is very difficult. The calm response from the beginning to the later must come from the baptism of years. In this process, you can learn more about other people's communication methods and ideas in dealing with emergencies, which will certainly inspire you.

There is no end to doing a good job, just like looking for a needle in a haystack. Good dining is just a beautiful environment. Is the food delicious?

Of course not! Hot towels can also be provided to wipe hands and snacks.

Is this perfect?

No, it also has a face-changing performance, mobile phone stickers and free photo printing. ...

Is this the limit?

Don't! Don't! Don't! Hair bands, glasses cloth, mobile phone covers and aprons are also provided. There are many services you can't even imagine.

Our work is the same, there is no best, only better.

Heart! Don't cope!

Don't talk nonsense, just get to the point, I am willing to encourage you.