What psychological shadows have relatives and elders left for you?

Tell me about my grandmother. My mother died of illness when I was 12 years old, but as a grandmother, my closest relatives never cared about us and never gave us a penny. When I was a child, I heard the villagers tell my grandmother that grandma once told the villagers that it was useless to have no eyeballs, only eyes. However, we are the flesh and blood left by your own daughter. Are we really not distressed at all?

I remember when we were young, my father took us to my grandmother's house during the Spring Festival after my mother died, probably because we didn't have a mother. We sat timidly on the edge of the kang, and grandma just sat on the kang and cried. The family hardly spoke, and the air was dignified. After sitting for a while, grandma never stayed for dinner, and then dad silently took us home.

When we grew up, we went to grandma's house by ourselves. Grandma asked me to take my brother with me during the summer vacation. At that time, there was nothing in the countryside. Grandma said to wait a few days and save more eggs. Your grandmother took it with her. Don't go empty-handed Then I hope my old hen will lay more eggs soon. After collecting enough eggs, grandma wrapped them in a handkerchief and let me take them to grandma's house. Grandma always said that if grandma's family doesn't contact you, you two should take the initiative to visit, otherwise one day I die and you two won't even have a relative. Slowly, go to grandma's house and go after dinner.

Later, when I grew up, my brother and I got married one after another. When we got married, two uncles and two aunts gave us money, each 200 yuan. At that time, in the 1990 s, everyone's family conditions were not good, and my grandmother gave nothing. I didn't bully her. Maybe you have no money when you are old.

Later, my second cousin got married, and I realized that the money my grandmother gave her started with 400 yuan. She grew up with her cousin and gave money to my uncle's children when she got married. I was very sad when I learned about it. I cried and told my aunt my sadness and grievances: my grandmother never gave us a stitch, a penny or a little love after my mother died for so many years. When I grow up, I can spend money and buy clothes and shoes for my grandmother. I am really filial to her. Two aunts and two uncles gave money when they got married, but they just left our younger brothers. I understand that she may not have much money before, but as a grandmother, even if you buy two pairs of socks when I get married, my heart will be warm.

Later, my aunt told my grandmother that I was wronged and cried with her. My grandmother told her that she had done something wrong, and later I explained it to Xiao Min (my nickname), but it was not until she was in her 90s.

I haven't heard her apology since she died.

I'm sorry that grandma did this. We are your daughter's children. How can you be so cruel?

Later, I should go to see my grandmother during the Chinese New Year holiday. I only bought her food and didn't give her money. After all, she is my grandmother and gave birth to my mother. Without my mother, there would be no life for us. Whether she does it right or not, I can't do it. I just want to have a clear conscience!

When I was in primary school, I often had an "uncle" at home for dinner. It is said that my uncle and grandmother are also lost brothers. It is said that he was widowed when he was young, never remarried, and never had a son and a half. Later, in his 60 s, he recognized a dry daughter and made some connections.

At that time, my uncle was in good health and often invited us to the theatre, and people were clean. Not when you're old. It is difficult to walk, and no one takes care of me. As soon as there is something delicious in our house, I will ask him to go home. I remember very clearly that in winter, he stood on crutches, his military coat was dirty, and he went back with an enamel cup for food. Very pitiful. Fortunately, he had a unit, and later hired a life nanny to take care of him. My mother occasionally sends him some stewed chicken for nutrition. The house is so dirty and messy that people can't get out of bed. They often pee in bed, and the nanny hates it. My mother washes his quilt every month. I've been there several times, but I don't know why I'm afraid to go into the house every time. I saw him weak and thin, and I was afraid that he would die.

One winter in junior high school, my uncle died and was found to be very hard. The unit is in charge of his business, and our family has also gone, and we are the only distant relatives. For a long time, I didn't dare to go to that unit and felt that my uncle was miserable. At that time, I decided that I must get married and have children in the future, or I will be miserable when I get old.

I was born in the 1960s, and my primary school was during the Cultural Revolution. My father was the small leader of the commune grain depot. Although his position is not high, it is a lucrative job in the era of food rationing. From primary school to junior high school, teachers take good care of me. Later, I learned that they buy food every month, and they can buy high-quality food when they find my dad. My grandfather has always been a brigade cadre. Compared with his peers, although there are many children in my family, the living standard in our village has always been one of the best, so I have a natural sense of superiority since I was a child.

My psychological shadow comes from my grandmother's house. My grandparents are a very kind and lovely old man. They love me far more than my grandparents. Although I grew up with my grandparents, I can sensitively realize that because I am a girl, they don't love me, but they love my brother more.

Only when I come to my grandmother's house can I deeply appreciate the happiness that my elders love and take care of me. Although grandma's family is poor, she left me the best things. A dry and hard fried dough stick, grandma is reluctant to eat it. Keep it for me. I came back from the theater in winter evening, and a bowl of hot cabbage cooked with tofu was my dinner. All these have warmed my little heart. Although my grandmother's family is poor, I like living in her house. I enjoy being loved and cared for.

Until that afternoon, my grandparents urged me to go out for a meeting and told me not to go out. Although I promised, I ran out. What is a meeting? Isn't it? Many people are acting together.

I sneaked into the meeting and saw my grandparents kneeling on the rostrum. The following are the slogans that hit XXX one after another. I was scared silly. When I was a child, I didn't understand why my grandparents were so good and kind. I was scared to tears. My friends in the village laughed when they saw me crying. I ran back to my grandmother's house like a defeated puppy.

From then on, I don't play with my friends in my grandma's village anymore, because I can't forget their supercilious look and ridicule. The inhuman practices of that deformed era deeply hurt a child's heart.

In my memory, the deepest shadow is that my grandmother and father and my aunt are very strict with my mother. At that time, my mother was only 14 years old when she married my father. Because she is young and knows nothing, my grandmother is a pure evil mother-in-law. Father can't read, so he listens to grandma. At home, my father, grandmother and two aunts often beat and scold my mother. My mother had no choice but to cry. My grandparents died young. My mother was orphaned before she married her father. My mother has never bought a new dress except for going to work or working every day. My mother never touches good things at home. Guests come to have a good meal. My mother has never got a table. No matter how cold it is in winter and how hot it is in summer, my mother never has a gap in her hand. My mother has no money, and she dare not ask my father for it. My mother can't eat anything delicious. I remember I was 10 years old. Once, some relatives came to my aunt's house, and I cooked some delicious Sichuan pork at home. I really wanted to eat at that time. My mother fed me a tablet before dinner without grandma's permission. My aunt's son accidentally saw it, so I told her that my family including my aunt had punched my mother and wouldn't let me go to the hospital to see her. My mother has to endure the pain and tears for several days, and she will continue to do so. Looking back now, I can't forget the pain my mother suffered in the past. This is the deepest shadow in my heart.

Generally, relatives do not affect their own psychology, and they are often parents and family members, that is, the closest relatives.

There are two things that affect me, one is the quarrel between my parents, and the other is the criticism and scolding of my mother.

I remember once my parents quarreled so much that they even got into a fight. Finally, I went to ask my uncle to come to the rescue and quelled the war. In fact, the focus of their argument is nothing more than one sentence: Dad takes too little care of our family and takes too much care of grandma's family and uncles. This war, which has no right or wrong, lasted my whole childhood without any shadow. I felt depressed, but I got used to it later.

Because my father has been working in the city for a long time, my mother is doing housework and farm work in the country alone, and she has to support our three brothers and sisters. She is really hard and depressed. I remember once asking me to pull a truckload of wheat to grind noodles. As a result, I generously gave the bran to the flour mill boss and was scolded by my mother for half an hour. This has done great harm to my self-esteem and even doubted my decision. This looks really stupid!

In fact, when we look back on these past events, we don't realize what the shadow is, because as adults, we can better understand the hardships and difficulties of our parents. Although their ways are so unreasonable, as children, we should educate ourselves and improve ourselves. Even if you were depressed, insecure and insecure before, you can still be the person you want to be through your own efforts.

It's true. In the fifth grade of primary school, my study was ok, but not very good. My second aunt will say that if your cousin studies hard and marries far away, we can't count on it. We're just two girls. If you don't study hard or go to school, you will marry our neighborhood. We can visit relatives at your place in the future. It may be unintentional, but it sounds uncomfortable.

I'll tell my dad when I get home. I said my aunt saw me and said, am I that bad? In fact, it was still a big blow to me at that time, so my father told me, do you want to study hard? So she won't talk about you, will she? From then on, I had to marry in the countryside and start studying hard. Because of her words, I have been working hard, but it has always caused me great harm. Because of her words, I have always felt inferior and feel inferior to others.

Sometimes I feel that many relatives will compare others, which really hurts children. Sometimes it will affect a child's life, not necessarily good, and some injuries may be lifelong.

Therefore, our parents sometimes take their children out to contact relatives, so we must avoid comparing your children with other children. When this happens, they must take their children away. Maybe a joke will hurt their children's life, and they should also avoid relatives' comments on your children. You shouldn't let your children perform some of their specialties. In order to make a group of people happy, it may hurt children by accident if they don't say whether the performance is good or bad.

I have an uncle who works in Five Blessingg. He is very capable. He worked as a bricklayer and contracted land. He made a lot of money, but his family was poor. Because he had a bad hobby of gambling, nine times out of ten he lost, and all his relatives let him borrow it. He also borrowed hundreds from us. One year, his wife came to our house and said to my parents, "Never lend him money. Lending him money is like sinking into the sea, even if it is a sound. " There is no money at home to pay off his gambling debts. "One year on the afternoon of New Year's Eve, our family was in jiaozi. It is this uncle who has come to borrow money. It is estimated that he will turn over the books during the New Year. Because my cousin came in front and told my parents never to lend it to him, so my dad said he had no money. I thought he was boring, so I left by myself. Unexpectedly, people turned to me and said, "Big niece, where do you work? I want to lend money to your uncle to tide over the difficulties. "I also quickly said that I have no money. People still don't go, still chanting "such a big girl has no money." If you want to find your husband's family, you have to find someone rich and powerful. Don't live such a hard life with your parents. "My dad was so angry that he sent him away. From then on, I felt that gambling was really untouchable. In this way, I lost my mind, my dignity and my personality.

My aunt, I think this person is unreasonable all his life.

I remember when I was a child, my parents went out to work and gave me to my grandparents. Grandparents are really rotten people, and they are impartial to every son, for fear of making any son feel uncomfortable, so they are affectionate and righteous to every son.

But the son is not as filial as they think. My grandparents are always heartbroken by all kinds of problems. Even if you get married and have children, you are like a child who doesn't grow up. My uncle is typical.

In the 1990s, few people got married with Gai Lou. My uncle was the first. My grandparents took out their savings, borrowed them from relatives and friends, and pieced together to build a house for their son, just to let him marry a wife. Who let him be the youngest son and the last one to get married? Parents are very anxious.

After the house was built in the back, it began to ask for three gold. In my mother's words, your uncle got married in those days, which is similar to the current specifications. He didn't get married until he had a house, which also required three floors in the town. Every time she speaks, her eyes are exposed and she feels that her life is hard.

As a result, the family didn't have the money to buy three gold medals, and the relatives also booked the wedding date. The key is to inform relatives and friends. Grandparents are proud all their lives and never break their word. How can they endure the temporary breakdown of their marriage and think that they will be poked in the spine? So Sanjin and them were still trying to find a way. Finally, they had no choice but to borrow money from their second aunt to buy it. But I haven't seen my aunt wear it yet. Except on the wedding day.

I thought the wedding could be held like this. I remember that many relatives came on the wedding day, and grandma killed the only pig in the family to invite guests. She was very happy.

The whole family was very happy, and a dozen tables were set at the banquet. When I was a child, I liked to join in the fun and run around, regardless of my grandparents.

As a result, I just finished eating and was going to walk in the wedding room. I found the candlestick on fire and almost burned the curtains. I'll call someone to put out the fire. My mother also scolded me and told me not to talk nonsense, thinking that I was crying because I was running around with my children.

In the evening, the whole family was shocked. The neighbors next door all heard the sound of uncle and aunt fighting. It was a cold winter. It was very cold. Grandma wore a small coat and came with grandpa to stop the fight, but it was useless. She called my parents again and put an end to the farce.

See my uncle after the fight. He didn't fight back at all. My aunt scratched his face and didn't like him. At that time, I liked to join in the fun. The first time I was scared, I also had a psychological shadow. Now I run when I hear a fight, and I hate it when adults fight. I think this is a very terrible thing.

Finally, I learned from my uncle that this happened because my aunt felt that the bride price was less and my family felt humiliated.

According to the present standards, it's really a lot, a three-story villa, three pieces of gold and ten thousand pieces of bride price. My grandmother said that it was really the first wedding in town at that time, and she was short of money and owed a lot of debts.

So sometimes think about it, people should learn to be content, when others are desperate to protect you, you don't need to be grateful, at least you can be considerate!

It was also that experience that made me see how terrible domestic violence was. My uncle was slapped and had stitches on his face. He was bandaged in the hospital the next day. It's terrible. Sometimes domestic violence is not necessarily a woman, but also a man.

Therefore, if you marry a wife, you must marry a good wife. You are not a good person from the beginning, you can only bite your teeth and swallow it in your stomach. Your parents have suffered all their lives.

My father died of illness when I was eight years old, leaving a shadow that I will never forget. It can be said that he changed the course of my life. 46 years after his death, I still often see him in my dreams. Just like when I was a child, he taught me to draw and asked me to recite quotations from great men. ...