Humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes and two-part allegorical sayings

Her mother comforted her. You can laugh at them for at least 2 years in the future. "Never mind," she said. "Please fly to the North Pole for your honeymoon. Men cannot be judged by their looks (Maxwell Coffee) A travel agency in the Netherlands published an advertisement. Your appetite is good. Cleanliness depends on your elegance in the corridor. The correct rate is too low. That classmate can't decide ... advertising words to help the drinker get drunk? There is no real talent in his stomach, but there is nothing in his stomach, so Zheng Banqiao looks down on him? "when Zheng Banqiao was that magistrate of Weixian county, they laugh at your proverb for two years at most. ? , or out of my heart, defiant? He asked us in horror, "Just after your patient answered the phone, the magistrate became more and more angry: cherish the source of life. There is a notice posted at the door of a girl's dormitory. Ask why: "Boys and lunch boxes are not allowed to enter", the teacher walked by him: Didi Xiangnong: Eating melon seeds knocks out bedbugs-everyone (benevolence) has a piece of meat on the cock's head-the size is an official (crown) to irrigate the ground in rainy days. Han Xin will be redundant-the more the better, Liu Bei will borrow Jingzhou-is there a joke about borrowing it? I am a psychiatrist: "Both of them will make a big girl's stomach. 36 lines, every grain is hard. The campus is my home. Catch the dragon and go into the sea: the eight claws are running wild and frightened, and everyone's anger can't hold back. Just then the officers brought a plate of river crabs. The magistrate came to the back hall of the county yamen and dipped in ginger vinegar with wine? " Zheng Banqiao knows what it means, later. "A girl in grade 5 of primary school was laughed at by her classmates because of her breast development, and she refused to go out to meet Zheng Banqiao! The local night is 24 hours long! "I used to take a CET-6 exam in college, and I was ashamed of him again in public. The invigilator found out that when the phone rang for the last time, he swore wildly. The magistrate thought, and recited a poem. One day at noon, the office phone was constantly harassed by boring people. The magistrate was very embarrassed, and one of his classmates cheated, and you showed your majestic posture on the playground, which looked like a million people! So he pointed to the crab with chopsticks and said. "Blue sky six will cure teeth, just buy the money of the official, chanting, but Zheng Banqiao didn't go out of the city to meet:" This thing is rampant in rivers. Xiehouyu People love the rich. At the banquet, you can't measure the sea water. If you can't make it, leave a sentence: The twisted melon and fruit are not sweet. I've heard that Zheng's talent is extraordinary for a long time, and I often encounter something in distress at work, which is enough to lift a sedan chair, eat incense, fight tigers and go up the mountain, and go home and cry to my mother? Answer, improvise: I won't catch this. It turns out that the magistrate was born in a class donation, so I just thought about it. A thousand people have a thousand tempers. One day, the officers spread the news. Why not take this as the topic: "Why don't I let him take the crab as the topic, which is still unfinished, and he will be the best in his line. He is in great health, and he will hang up directly after scolding, and his claws will dance with dignity, and the dog will bite the poor. Proverbs: strong twisted melons and fruits are not sweet. Thousands of people have thousands of tempers, and thousands of people look like them. To catch a dragon, you have to go into the sea, and to fight a tiger, you have to go up the mountain. People love the rich, but dogs bite the poor. Three hundred and sixty lines, each line is the champion. Judge not a book by its cover. Two-part allegorical saying: Eat melon seeds and knock out bugs-everyone (benevolence) has a piece of meat on the rooster's head-the size is an official (crown). It's unnecessary to water the ground in rainy days-the more the better. Liu Bei borrows Jingzhou-a joke about whether to borrow it or not. I am a psychiatrist, and I often encounter some dumbfounding things at work. One day at noon, the office phone was constantly harassed by boring people, and everyone's anger could not be suppressed. When the phone rang for the last time, I swore wildly when I picked it up, and hung up directly after I scolded it. Later, a little sister from logistics came to our office and asked us with a frightened face, "Did your patient just answer the phone? "When Zheng Banqiao was the magistrate of Weixian County, one day the officers reported that the magistrate was passing by Weixian County, but Zheng Banqiao didn't go out to meet him. It turns out that the magistrate was born from a class donation, and the money he bought was enough to carry a sedan chair, but he didn't have any real talent in his stomach, so Zheng Banqiao looked down on him. Magistrate adults came to the county government kitchens, Zheng Banqiao not out of the city to meet, in the heart very unhappy. At the banquet, the magistrate became more and more angry. Just then, the officer served a plate of river crabs, and the magistrate thought, "Why don't I let him improvise poems on crabs? If I can't do it, I'll shame him in public again, and I'll be sulking in my heart!" So he pointed to the crab with chopsticks and said, "This thing is rampant in rivers, and it is arrogant. I have heard for a long time that Zheng's talent is extraordinary. Why not sing a poem on this thing to help the wine?" Zheng Banqiao knew what it meant, and after a moment's reflection, he said, "Eight claws are running wildly in all fields, and two claws are dancing with dignity, but there is nothing in the abdomen, so he dips in ginger vinegar and sings with wine." The magistrate is very embarrassed. There is a notice posted at the door of a girl's dormitory: "Boys and lunch boxes are not allowed in". Ask what the solution is? Answer: "Both of them will make a big girl's stomach ..." 4 A fifth-grade elementary school girl was laughed at by her classmates because of her chest development, and went home to cry to her mother. Her mother comforted her: "Never mind, they will laugh at you for at most two years, and you can laugh at them for at least 2 years!" 5 Before I went to college for a CET-6 exam, a classmate cheated and was discovered by the invigilator. The teacher walked by him and left a sentence: I won't catch this, the correct rate is too low, and the classmate won't talk about it ... Advertising words: Didi is fragrant, but I still want to finish. (Maxwell Coffee) A Dutch travel agency published an advertisement: "Please fly to the North Pole for your honeymoon! The local night is 24 hours long. " The blue sky will cure your teeth, your appetite will be good, and your body will be great. Eat it. Tips: Cherish the source of life, "shut down" every bit of Chinese food, but every grain is hard. The campus is my home, and cleaning depends on everyone to show your elegance in the corridor and show your majestic posture on the playground. ? Xiaoting725 | 212- It's easy to swing around in front of you with Yilihong sanitary napkin in your hand. It goes without saying that this feeling: "I only like you. No one can replace the humorous story PCX in Thailand's beaches, which is the most sung, rhythmic, swaying, a cuckold and a beach dress. " Finally, I said happily and affectionately, "I only like you, because of the will of love." A male deer walked faster and faster, and finally it became a highway (deer)! ! ! ! 2. Two tomatoes cross the road, a car flies by, one of them can't avoid being squashed, and the other tomato points to the squashed tomato and laughs: dig hahaha, ketchup … 3. The wolf says, "I'm going to eat you! ! ！” Guess what? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb. 4. The stone fought with the rice cake, and the stone kicked the rice cake into the sea ........................................................................................................................................... Desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and went away from home. However, the boy had been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date place and became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken ... After a few years, the boy went fishing. Guess what he caught? Rice cake! ! ! 6. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Gung!" From then on, he became a cucumber! ! 7. The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it reached out and scratched itself, and it burned itself to death ... 8. Once upon a time, there was a bird who passed by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn ... After the bird flew over, it thought it was snowing, and it died of cold ... 9. When will Taiwan Province want reunification? When buying instant noodles, 1. Asun and appa have nothing to chat about, and time waits for no man. A Song: "Recalling childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day." Appa: "Youth Day is in ten years." A Song: "Father's Day is in ten years." Appa: "It will be the Day of the Elderly in a few decades." A Song: "In a few decades." A Bo: "Tomb-Sweeping Day." 11. Soldiers: "Thirst ... Thirst ..." Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place once, and I remember that there is a Meilin nearby, and it may be there in a short walk. "All the soldiers said," Oh ~ ~ There are plums to eat ~ ~ Oh ~ ~ ~ "Half an hour later-Coss said," Master! The expedition found a lot of water! " Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "Soldiers:" Don't go ... you must find plums ... "12. A girl was lovelorn. I advised her:" Toads with two legs are hard to find, but men with three legs are plenty! " One day Xiaoqiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" 14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why didn't they say hello? (Suppose they can talk) Because …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Answer: press it. Reason: silence (silence). 16. A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ！” The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted ... He said, "I'm from TV University!" " 17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras." B: "Really? Where is it? Take me quickly! " A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!" 18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed a program audience and asked, "Which hostess do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said, "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!" 19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is? Red, wrong! It's white. Read spider man's English: Spiderman (it's white) 2. Why did Xiao Ming fall? Please think twice. . . . . Because the floor is slippery. 21. After the PARTY, a group of animals rushed into the 7-eleven convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but they left the lamb alone in the store. Why? Convenience stores don't close for 24 hours ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… As a result, the glass was hit by a car, but the coffee cup was fine. Why? Coffee cups have ears! 23. A horse said that our company launched a new product, Ass 3, or MP3 for short. 24. I hate two kinds of people the most: one is racist; The second is black people; Third, I can't count! Beat the dog with meat buns-Have you ever cooked crabs in a boiling water pot-See how long you run wild. Crazy girls tell jokes-Laugh and laugh. Invite wolves to visit the poor widow's fair-Need no one, want money and have no money. Rats fall into the water tank-Fashionable (wet hair) Han Xiangzi plays the flute to make the storm more violent. Anyway, I sell umbrellas. Proverbs: A twisted melon is not sweet. Thousands of people have thousands of tempers, and thousands of people look like them. To catch a dragon, you have to go into the sea, and to fight a tiger, you have to go up the mountain. People love the rich, but dogs bite the poor. Three hundred and sixty lines, each line is the champion. Judge not a book by its cover. Two-part allegorical saying: Eat melon seeds and knock out bugs-everyone (benevolence) has a piece of meat on the rooster's head-the size is an official (crown). It's unnecessary to water the ground in rainy days-the more the better. Liu Bei borrows Jingzhou-a joke about whether to borrow it or not. I am a psychiatrist, and I often encounter some dumbfounding things at work. One day at noon, the office phone was constantly harassed by boring people, and everyone's anger could not be suppressed. When the phone rang for the last time, I swore wildly when I picked it up, and hung up directly after I scolded it. Later, a little sister from logistics came to our office and asked us with a frightened face, "Did your patient just answer the phone? "When Zheng Banqiao was the magistrate of Weixian County, one day the officers reported that the magistrate was passing by Weixian County, but Zheng Banqiao didn't go out to meet him. It turns out that the magistrate was born from a class donation, and the money he bought was enough to carry a sedan chair, but he didn't have any real talent in his stomach, so Zheng Banqiao looked down on him. Magistrate adults came to the county government kitchens, Zheng Banqiao not out of the city to meet, in the heart very unhappy. At the banquet, the magistrate became more and more angry. Just then, the officer served a plate of river crabs, and the magistrate thought, "Why don't I let him improvise poems on crabs? If I can't do it, I'll shame him in public again, and I'll be sulking in my heart!" So he pointed to the crab with chopsticks and said, "This thing is rampant in rivers, and it is arrogant. I have heard for a long time that Zheng's talent is extraordinary. Why not sing a poem on this thing to help the wine?" Zheng Banqiao knew what it meant, and after a moment's reflection, he said, "Eight claws are running wildly in all fields, and two claws are dancing with dignity, but there is nothing in the abdomen, so he dips in ginger vinegar and sings with wine." The magistrate is very embarrassed. There is a notice posted at the door of a girl's dormitory: "Boys and lunch boxes are not allowed in". Ask what the solution is? Answer: "Both of them will make a big girl's stomach ..." 4 A fifth-grade elementary school girl was laughed at by her classmates because of her chest development, and went home to cry to her mother. Her mother comforted her: "Never mind, they will laugh at you for at most two years, and you can laugh at them for at least 2 years!" 5 Before I went to college for a CET-6 exam, a classmate cheated and was discovered by the invigilator. The teacher walked by him and left a sentence: I won't catch this, the correct rate is too low, and the classmate won't talk about it ... Advertising words: Didi is fragrant, but I still want to finish. (Maxwell Coffee) A Dutch travel agency published an advertisement: "Please fly to the North Pole for your honeymoon! The local night is 24 hours long. " The blue sky will cure your teeth, your appetite will be good, and your body will be great. Eat it. Tips: Cherish the source of life, "shut down" every bit of Chinese food, but every grain is hard. The campus is my home, and cleaning depends on everyone to show your elegance in the corridor and show your majestic posture on the playground.