Joke team

1, the fish said, "I always open my eyes and leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe."

2. Once upon a time, there was a poor man whose son got married and his mother had no money to buy underwear for him, so she made him a pair of underwear with a rice bag. On my wedding night, when I took off my pants, my wife fainted on the spot. On the front of the underwear, it says: net weight is 25 kg, made in Thailand. ...

Several monkeys peeked at a man who was taking a bath. Suddenly a monkey fell from the tree laughing and asked him why he was laughing. It said: it's strange that human beings have such a short tail that they have a face in front! Laugh me to death! !

The elephant laughed at the camel and said, "Why do your breasts grow on your back?" "Hum!" The camel said, "I never talk to people with dicks on their faces!" " "The snake laughed, and the elephant said," The face is on the penis! What are you laughing at? ? "

Chickens and cows complain, "It's unfair that humans let us lay more eggs while they plan their own families." The cow said, "What's your little grievance? So many people eat my milk, but no one calls me mom. "

6. A man goes to the toilet. The next door suddenly said, How have you been recently? The answer is not rude: not bad. The next door said: What are you busy with? M: On business. Next door: I'll hang up first. There's a psycho here. As soon as he spoke, he tried to answer.

7. Love is like shit. Once the water is washed, it will never come back. Love is like shit, it can't stop when it comes. Love is like shit, it's the same every time, but it's different. Love is like shit, sometimes it's just a fart if you work hard for a long time.

8. The bird flew out of the forest wearing a bulletproof vest and soon came back with a gunshot wound. The squirrel saw it and asked, how did you get shot in a bulletproof vest? The bird said, damn it, I will never undress again!

9. Sleep to death: sleep with a beautiful woman who is excited to death; Sleep with your lover; Sleeping with ugly women is boring to death; Sleeping with dancers is expensive to death; Sleeping with a fierce woman is exhausting; Sleeping with a virgin is stupid to death; Sleep with your wife all night and play dead.

10, I've always wanted to know what it's like to be loved ... and many people got hurt!

1 1. Once I looked up at the starry sky with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was lovelorn and I sprained my neck.

12, he's just a pot of water, pour it into your rice pile. After several years, the clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of abandoned rotten rice, which can be used to feed pigs.

13, the beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

14, Panda Man wants QJ Panda Girl, and Panda Girl fights hard and fights to the death. After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

15 one day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right!

16, the tortoise is ill, and the snail is asked to buy medicine. Three hours passed and the snail didn't come back. The tortoise cursed, "If you don't come back, I'll die." At this time, the snail's voice came from outside, "I won't leave if you fucking scold me again!" "

17, Husband: What time is it? Wife: Ten o'clock. Husband: Is it complete? Wife: It's too early. Everyone else is still up! Husband: I mean, is it ten o'clock sharp? Madame ...

18, 10. A child was playing at the door, and a middle-aged man asked him, "Is your father at home?" The child answered "at home", and the middle-aged man rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered the door. So the man asked angrily, "Why don't you open the door?" The little boy replied, "I don't know, not home!" " "

I don't want to fill in the blanks any more. If both of them fail, forget it.

This story happened in China a long time ago.

I played a guessing game with scissors, stone and cloth all afternoon, my good friends.

Go home together, take a walk …

Si Tong noticed an oil lamp by the roadside, just like Aladdin's magic lamp.

He picked it up curiously and dusted it off.

Suddenly, white smoke came out of the bottle of Ran Ran magic lamp.

A dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke. ..

But the dragon is dry and a little malnourished.

He said, "Who let me out?" Fuzzy

Stone said: I let you out.

Dragon: "Oh … Ahem … Then I can give you a wish …" "

Stone: "Ah ... only one. Oh, there are three. "

Dragon: "I'm sorry ... because I'm a half-toned dragon ... if you don't want to, forget it ..." "

Si Tong: "OK ... and then ... can you make all three of us adults?" We are tired of guessing boxing every day. "

Dragon: "Oh ... I'll try … but maybe only one can succeed … because I'm a semitone dragon …" "

The dragon coughed a few times and spat at the three of them respectively.

The three people gradually began to be shrouded in white smoke, and the dragon gradually disappeared into the three-character sutra.

Wait until the white smoke clears. ...

Stone or stone, scissors or scissors, but cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into human beings!

When one family is happy and two families are sad,

Someone happened to pass by here and saw this scene.

I recorded him,

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

Cloth succeeded and became a man.

Then this statement spread to later generations and was added to Chinese textbooks.

The old man in the family died,

Because of the public sacrifice, the body was frozen.

Please come out after the public sacrifice.

It happened to be hot at that time,

There were thawed water droplets on the body,

Grandson beside to see, very nervous shout loudly:

"Grandma, grandma ... grandpa is sweating ..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh ... Grandpa died for the first time, so nervous! 」

One day, a man met God. ..

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish.

God asked …

Do you have any wishes …

The man wanted to think. ...

I heard that cats have nine lives. ...

Then please give me nine lives. ..

God said, ..

Your wish has come true. ...

One day, that man was idle and bored …

I want to say die. ...

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks ...

As a result, a train passed by. ...

That man is still dead ...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars …

A lady met a red light while driving.

The traffic police on the side watched her as the red light turned green and the green light turned red …

Still parked in the middle of the road, not moving.

So the traffic police went over and asked the young lady, "What's the matter, don't you have a favorite color?" 」

Have you been dating her for many years?

There seem to be fewer phones recently.

I feel weak.

Ask her why

She just lowered her head and said nothing. ...

I don't know what to do.

After all ... feelings can't be forced.

Listen to your friends.

She has been close to a man recently.

I can't believe it.

I don't want to believe it either.

Because ... I really like her. ...

But ... that day in the street.

I can't believe I saw her with another him.

Hand in hand

Very intimate joke.

instant

My heart ... is broken. ...

After my inquiry

Only then did I know that he … turned out to be a medical student.

There is also a big hospital at home.

I am a third-rate college student, so I can't compare with it. .....

I have been unable to sleep these days.

Do you still want to save our feelings? .....

I thought about it for a long time.

Decided to send her an apple every day.

because

I believe

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

On one night, ...

Xiaoming couldn't sleep, so he decided to go out for a walk …

He just walked on the highway near his home …

Unfortunately, I was caught in a police raid. ...

Xiao Ming was called for questioning.

The policeman asked Xiao Ming why he got on the highway, and gave him a ticket after asking.

It says

1. Not wearing a seat belt

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed is less than 60 miles per hour

This is what I have answered others, and I will copy it to you. There are many, you can choose by yourself. Also, I quite agree with what Oo Xiaodong said, this score is really not so good ~

A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after their death. It's Einstein's turn to arrest people. He counted to 100 and opened his eyes. He saw everyone hiding, but Newton was still standing there. Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I got you." Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton." Einstein: "You are not Newton. Who are you? " Newton: "What do you see under my feet?" Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile one meter long and one meter wide, puzzled. Newton: "This is a square meter under my feet, and I stand on it and it is Newton/square meter, so you don't catch Newton, you catch * * *."

…… …… …… ……

pascal

When a boy had sex with a girl, the girl received an offer from Duke University. At the boarding gate of the airport, the girl anxiously looked at the figure of the lady here. But when the familiar body really appeared in front of her, the girl did not dare to look at the attachment in each other's eyes.

"If you let me stay, I will give up studying abroad." The girl secretly made up her mind. I saw that the boy took out a beautifully packaged gift box with a mechanical watch that stopped the needle. The boy gently put the watch on the girl's wrist, wound it up, loosened it, and the stopped watch hand began to circle again.

"Yes, everyone will have a new beginning. Why stick to this moment?" The girl thought about it, shook her hand and walked quickly into the boarding passage. There was no hesitation in her heart, only a glimpse of the sobbing back touched a chord slightly.

Sixty years later, the girl's temples were stained with snow. She was packing at her home in Boston and preparing to move. The American wife outside is coaxing her grandchildren into the car. Suddenly, the mechanical watch at the bottom of the box suddenly appeared in front of her, and the memory suddenly returned to the airport 60 years ago. "Girl" sighed for a while, wiped the surface, wound the watch, let go, and the stopped hands began to circle again. ...

My wife shouted many times outside and didn't hear the response from the "girl". On entering the room, she was holding an old-fashioned tearful eye.

-What does that mean? . . . What the boy wants to express is that the watch is gone. . .

It's freezing! ! !

A man was out on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard a man snoring at the door.

The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce!" ! ! "

Then throw away the mobile phone card and leave. ...

They met again in a city three years later.

The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

The man told the story.

The wife turned around,

Simply put: that's Rising's little lion.

My English teacher always likes to ask questions in class. Whenever someone is asked to answer a question, he always asks: Can you? Means you can.

One day we learned the word born, the meaning of fertility, and then she gave an example: a sow can give birth to ten piglets at a time, and then let a boy translate. After the boy stood up, the teacher did not forget to ask: will you? The boy replied: I won't.

After ten seconds of silence, the whole class laughed.

One night, when I was on duty, someone reported to the police that a drunk was making trouble in front of his shop, so we took him back to the police station and "restrained him until he woke up." When the man arrived at the police station, he was still unconscious and hit his head with his mobile phone. The leader was afraid of an accident, so he put away his mobile phone and put it in the duty room for me to keep.

This is a magical cottage machine. I have a rough look, there are 9 speakers! ! ! This is a terrible thing. Someone has been calling this mobile phone, and the ringtone is "Wolf falls in love with sheep". God, the phone keeps ringing. The ringtone of the mobile phone is at least 100 decibel, so big that even the general sound is covered up. I answered, and the caller is also a drunk and can't communicate. I want to turn off my phone, and I need a password! ! ! I want to wait until his battery is dead. He's been ringing for more than two hours and hasn't used up a grid of electricity! ! !

I thought, well, I pulled the battery out. What a clever mistake! I made the worst decision of my life! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! As soon as the battery is unplugged, this mobile phone actually has an alarm. Yes, it's a siren, louder than the alarm of our police car. Where did you say the battery was missing? It's been ringing for more than ten minutes, so I can't help it. I can only put the battery back, turn it on, and continue to sing Wolf in Love with Sheep.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, the man finally woke up and could communicate normally. I returned his mobile phone to him in tears and told him to leave the police station and let me live.

One day in the street. Walk.

A girl knelt on the ground and cried. Cry until everyone is watching and ask her what's wrong. . .

She said: lost. . . . .

A young man is wearing a white T-shirt. The key point is that there are three bars (Adidas) on the left and right sleeves and a big tick (Nike) on the back. I feel dizzy and my chest is kappa. . . .

One night at around 10, I was on my way home by bike.

Inactive lane

There is a man driving a battery car around.

I think maybe I'm drunk, so I'd better keep my distance.

I was just thinking, suddenly the car in front of me fell down, and so did the people.

I rode past him to see what had happened.

He said to himself, Mara is next door, asleep! ~

At about 9 o'clock in the midsummer night, I was driving across a road. I was surprised to see anonymous sitting on a motorcycle by the side of the road with a intoxicated face, so I kept stirring it up. There was a faint gasp "Oh ... Uh ...". Look carefully, Kao, make love in this street. After a scan, everyone in the car and on the road looks like thunder, which is summarized as follows:

Daughters-> (▽)? -& gt； ! (@ [] @)!

Man-> (▽)? -& gt； (ˉ▽~ ~ ~)-& gt； ( 》▽》)

Minor-> _?

The elderly-> (--) ╯

Someone went to eat noodles and shouted, Boss, have one or two beef noodles.

Pause for two seconds, then continue to shout: more beef, more noodles, and more vegetable leaves.

The boss is unhappy: you eat 2 Liang.

The man's voice is still very loud: there is too much silver to eat.

A man in his thirties.

A man and a woman are fighting, both in their thirties. Women are typical bitches. As she said, the woman couldn't beat the man, so she reached into her pants and took out the WSJ with blood and stuffed it into the man's mouth.

Last time, I had to take a bus with BF. The row in front of us is the junction of one seat and two positions, that is to say, from the front row, there is a position for two people, but there is a position that protrudes outward (I don't like to do this kind of seat, the front is empty ~ unsafe, and it is easy for the whole person to throw it out when braking suddenly) ~ Most buses in Shanghai have this kind of seat. Sitting in a prominent position in front of us is a GG, which looks ok. When the bus arrived at the station, a fat MM came over. At that time, the bus was relatively empty, and there were quite a lot of vacancies. MM went straight to the handsome guy in front of us. At this time, my BF whispered to me: Look, that woman is going to be abnormal. . Before he could finish, the bus started, and MM stumbled all the way to the handsome guy ~ ~ As a result, it was conceivable that the fat MM fell in the handsome guy's arms ~ ~ I could only bite my lip with BF ~ ~ before laughing ~ ~

My roommate lost a lot of blood on a special day. She didn't know, so she gave it away after class. In the second class, a boy sat in that seat. After class, there was blood on the back of his pants. We witnessed him leave in silence. ....

One day last summer at about 5 pm, at the busiest intersection of the busiest commercial pedestrian street in our city, a garbage collector put all the plastic bottles in a trash can in the middle of the road into her bag, then pulled out the trash can and began to poop in the bucket. There are countless passers-by around ... all black lines ...

Two days ago, I witnessed a dog's blood story on the busiest commercial pedestrian street in our city. The process is as follows:

A man and a woman are pandering from a distance. They are both wearing the uniforms of the Italian football team. The woman has a good figure and the man is tall and handsome.

The woman flew into a rage and the man struggled to stay. He just wouldn't let go of her arm.

The woman flew into a rage and shook her arms, and the man was thrown in front of the woman.

The man hugged the woman, and the woman began to struggle, kicking and hitting, and brutally stepping on the man's foot.

The man refused to let go, and the woman struggled to break free and began to run wildly.

The man grabbed the woman and pulled her to the street next to the blue board of a construction site enclosure. On the way, the woman struggled to break free.

The man threw the woman on the blue board, put her hand on the fence and began to kiss.

The woman kicked and kicked at the same time as she broke free, but the man clung to it.

The woman slapped her in the face, and the man not only didn't get angry, but also hugged her tightly.

The woman struggled a few times and finally calmed down. ...........

Everyone stared at their backs hugging each other in the sunset, with black lines on their faces.

The worst thing is that the men and women didn't say a word during the whole process, even the usual onomatopoeia words "en", "ah" and swearing words didn't appear, as if it were a fierce silent film.

A temple.

Monk: Donate some money, just 3500.

Me: I don't have that much money. Maybe next time.

Monk: Never mind. We can swipe our cards here.

Me: Sorry, I don't have my card either.

Monk: Never mind. We can also mortgage here, and the monthly interest rate is only 3%.

Me: Sorry, I have nothing to mortgage.

Monk: Please fill out this organ donation form.

Monkeys used to be big and dishonest. They often rob passers-by of their property. After being robbed several times, a vegetable farmer still can't swallow this tone. "Always find a way to cure them!" After observation, he found that monkeys like to imitate human movements, and they are still very unyielding.

Great, finally there is a way. When ready, the vegetable farmer put two radishes-a green radish and a carrot-in his crotch and went up the hill. Finally, I waited for these monkeys halfway up the mountain. The vegetable farmers are not in a hurry, and the spectators and monkeys are watching. As long as they see what they want, they will do it at once. At this time, vegetable farmers are not in a hurry, and they don't pay attention to the baskets that usually contain vegetables. They just take out the guy in pants and play with him in their hands. The monkey didn't know what the vegetable farmer was doing at first, but he couldn't help learning soon and took out his own guy to play. After a while, the vegetable farmer's guy and the monkey's guy grew up. While the monkeys were not paying attention, the vegetable farmers changed their homes into carrots, and they were still playing and rubbing them hard from time to time. After a while, the monkeys noticed that the vegetable farmers' things were "red"! Monkeys are unwilling, rub, rub and rub! After the last hour, it was all red. When the vegetable farmers saw that the temperature was almost the same, they threw away the carrots and replaced them with green radishes while the monkeys were not paying attention! Still playing there, just rubbing harder. The monkey finally became popular, but when he saw the food of the vegetable farmer, he became "green"! Can't lose! The monkeys are working hard again, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing. .......................................................................................................................................................

As soon as the vegetable farmers saw it, it was time! I saw the vegetable farmer break off the green radish in his hand! It broke in an instant. Now the monkey is in a hurry, and everyone breaks off the guy in his hand! ........... is broken!

From then on, the monkey collapsed and became smaller and smaller. ..........

Last week, on the sidewalk of Tianhe South Road in front of Guangzhou Book Center. A man panicked, rushed out of the snack bar and ran to the road.

Behind her, a woman chased after her, holding a hundred-dollar bill in her left hand and a kitchen knife in her right hand, shouting in Mandarin, "Give me back my virginity! Give me back my virginity! " , a look of heartbreak.

(at that time, I thought, is it that man played a rogue and didn't give enough money to be hunted down? )

Probably seeing a woman chasing after her with a knife, the man had to stop and say to her, "OK, I'll pay you back."

(I don't understand it. Isn't it just robbing people of their virginity and stealing their money? Oh, my God, this is immoral! Catch him and kill him completely. )

I saw that the woman gave the man a hundred-dollar bill, and the man gave the woman dozens of dollars.

The more I watch it, the more confused I am. How can I take away a person's chastity and make money? Look at the man's face again. If he can be a "second husband", the old sow can climb trees. )

People can't understand the ending of Sanqu.

(I woke up today and remembered this moment. I suddenly realized that the man had paid counterfeit money and was chased by the snack bar owner and said, "Give me back the real money!" " " )

The funeral procession downstairs is playing "Often Go Home" ... I don't know what my family thinks. ...

This story happened in China a long time ago.

I played a guessing game with scissors, stone and cloth all afternoon, my good friends.

Go home together, take a walk …

Si Tong noticed an oil lamp by the roadside, just like Aladdin's magic lamp.

He picked it up curiously and dusted it off.

Suddenly, white smoke came out of the bottle of Ran Ran magic lamp.

A dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke. ..

But the dragon is dry and a little malnourished.

He said, "Who let me out?" Fuzzy

Stone said: I let you out.

Dragon: "Oh … Ahem … Then I can give you a wish …" "

Stone: "Ah ... only one. Oh, there are three. "

Dragon: "I'm sorry ... because I'm a half-toned dragon ... if you don't want to, forget it ..." "

Si Tong: "OK ... and then ... can you make all three of us adults?" We are tired of guessing boxing every day. "

Dragon: "Oh ... I'll try … but maybe only one can succeed … because I'm a semitone dragon …" "

The dragon coughed a few times and spat at the three of them respectively.

The three people gradually began to be shrouded in white smoke, and the dragon gradually disappeared into the three-character sutra.

Wait until the white smoke clears. ...

Stone or stone, scissors or scissors, but cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into human beings!

When one family is happy and two families are sad,

Someone happened to pass by here and saw this scene.

I recorded him,

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

Cloth succeeded and became a man.

Then this statement spread to later generations and was added to Chinese textbooks.

The old man in the family died,

Because of the public sacrifice, the body was frozen.

Please come out after the public sacrifice.

It happened to be hot at that time,

There were thawed water droplets on the body,

Grandson beside to see, very nervous shout loudly:

"Grandma, grandma ... grandpa is sweating ..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh ... Grandpa died for the first time, so nervous! 」

One day, a man met God. ..

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish.

God asked …

Do you have any wishes …

The man wanted to think. ...

I heard that cats have nine lives. ...

Then please give me nine lives. ..

God said, ..

Your wish has come true. ...

One day, that man was idle and bored …

I want to say die. ...

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks ...

As a result, a train passed by. ...

That man is still dead ...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars …

A lady met a red light while driving.

The traffic police on the side watched her as the red light turned green and the green light turned red …

Still parked in the middle of the road, not moving.

So the traffic police went over and asked the young lady, "What's the matter, don't you have a favorite color?" 」

Have you been dating her for many years?

There seem to be fewer phones recently.

I feel weak.

Ask her why

She just lowered her head and said nothing. ...

I don't know what to do.

After all ... feelings can't be forced.

Listen to your friends.

She has been close to a man recently.

I can't believe it.

I don't want to believe it either.

Because ... I really like her. ...

But ... that day in the street.

I can't believe I saw her with another him.

Hand in hand

Very intimate joke.

instant

My heart ... is broken. ...

After my inquiry

Only then did I know that he … turned out to be a medical student.

There is also a big hospital at home.

I am a third-rate college student, so I can't compare with it. .....

I have been unable to sleep these days.

Do you still want to save our feelings? .....

I thought about it for a long time.

Decided to send her an apple every day.

because

I believe

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

On one night, ...

Xiaoming couldn't sleep, so he decided to go out for a walk …

He just walked on the highway near his home …

Unfortunately, I was caught in a police raid. ...

Xiao Ming was called for questioning.

The policeman asked Xiao Ming why he got on the highway, and gave him a ticket after asking.

It says

1. Not wearing a seat belt

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed is less than 60 miles per hour

This is what I have answered others, and I will copy it to you. There are many, you can choose by yourself. Also, I quite agree with what Oo Xiaodong said, this score is really not so good ~

A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after their death. It's Einstein's turn to arrest people. He counted to 100 and opened his eyes. He saw everyone hiding, but Newton was still standing there. Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I got you." Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton." Einstein: "You are not Newton. Who are you? " Newton: "What do you see under my feet?" Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile one meter long and one meter wide, puzzled. Newton: "This is a square meter under my feet, and I stand on it and it is Newton/square meter, so you don't catch Newton, you catch * * *."

…… …… …… ……

pascal

When a boy had sex with a girl, the girl received an offer from Duke University. At the boarding gate of the airport, the girl anxiously looked at the figure of the lady here. But when the familiar body really appeared in front of her, the girl did not dare to look at the attachment in each other's eyes.

"If you let me stay, I will give up studying abroad." The girl secretly made up her mind. I saw that the boy took out a beautifully packaged gift box with a mechanical watch that stopped the needle. The boy gently put the watch on the girl's wrist, wound it up, loosened it, and the stopped watch hand began to circle again.

"Yes, everyone will have a new beginning. Why stick to this moment?" The girl thought about it, shook her hand and walked quickly into the boarding passage. There was no hesitation in her heart, only a glimpse of the sobbing back touched a chord slightly.

Sixty years later, the girl's temples were stained with snow. She was packing at her home in Boston and preparing to move. The American wife outside is coaxing her grandchildren into the car. Suddenly, the mechanical watch at the bottom of the box suddenly appeared in front of her, and the memory suddenly returned to the airport 60 years ago. "Girl" sighed for a while, wiped the surface, wound the watch, let go, and the stopped hands began to circle again. ...

My wife shouted many times outside and didn't hear the response from the "girl". On entering the room, she was holding an old-fashioned tearful eye.

-What does that mean? . . . What the boy wants to express is that the watch is gone. . .

It's freezing! ! !

A man was out on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard a man snoring at the door.

The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: "Divorce!" ! ! "

Then throw away the mobile phone card and leave. ...

They met again in a city three years later.

The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

The man told the story.

The wife turned around,

Simply put: that's Rising's little lion.

My English teacher always likes to ask questions in class. Whenever someone is asked to answer a question, he always asks: Can you? Means you can.

One day we learned the word born, the meaning of fertility, and then she gave an example: a sow can give birth to ten piglets at a time, and then let a boy translate. After the boy stood up, the teacher did not forget to ask: will you? The boy replied: I won't.

After ten seconds of silence, the whole class laughed.

1: Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions.

Squid is very happy to say: you take the exam!

Then the man roasted the squid. ..

2: I used to have schizophrenia, and now we have recovered.

An international student is taking a driver's license test in America, and the road sign ahead prompts him to turn left. He is not sure, ask the examiner:

"Turn left?"

A: "Yes"

So ... hang up. ..

4: One day, Mung Bean committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became a red bean; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

Xiaoming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head is a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

6: There is a man who looks like an onion, crying while walking.

7. Little Penguin asked Grandma one day, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

8: A pair of corn fell in love …

So they decided to get married …

On the wedding day ...

One corn can't find another corn …

This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.