A funny sentence, or I'll give you my wallet directly.

I'll give you my wallet directly. A little girl once said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: not handsome, not handsome, just long.

You used to be my world, but now you are replaced by all directions.

Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

4. There is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called not at all; There is a multiple-choice question that looks right; There is a writing topic called "I want to cry when I write".

5, there are matches, do not wash your hair for a few days, itchy scalp, grab and burn.

6. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will eventually become families.

7. I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me.

8. We are all passers-by. Fortunately, neither of us knocked down each other.

9. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

10, my future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

1 1, ask why everything has its vanquisher.

12, the so-called puppy love is just to raise a wife for others.

13, how far is your mind? Get out of here!

14, it doesn't hurt to lose me.

15, threesome, I'll get wet! Confucius was the earliest animal!

16, life is like toilet paper, there is nothing to talk about, the less the better.

17, the need of life is to take, and the greatest need is to be needed.

18, people can cross natural obstacles, but they can't cross their own obstacles with wisdom.

19, Tanabata has finally passed, and I can finally get up. Single men can't afford to get hurt!

20, Tanabata season is so romantic, pedestrians on the road are too ambiguous, where there is a romantic place, beautiful women point to people on the road.

2 1, I forgot to scold you at ordinary times, and I didn't know that I was both civil and military until I hit you.

22. Hello, the number you dialed is out of service. Please dial again in your next life.

23. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

24. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

25. Behind every single man, there is a pair of strong and lasting hands!

26. Every day, I draw circles on my calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

27, hooligans are not terrible, they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

28. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!

29. The clearest sentence in listening comprehension of CET-4 today: Now, please ask the invigilator to take out the tape and turn to side B to continue listening.

Give you two choices. Do you like me or me?

32. I found my mobile phone missing. I searched my bag and every corner of the house, but it didn't work. I sat on the ground, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone.

33. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

34. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

35, love is nonsense, the more you pull, the weaker you get.

Give you everything I have.

If you feel blue, please don't cry and give you my happiness! Life will inevitably have joys and sorrows, please don't care too much, relax, and you can be yourself again!

If you think life is boring, please don't sigh and give you my enthusiasm! Our life is colorful, showing our charm, and the world is full of vitality because of our existence!

If you feel lonely, please don't lose heart and give you my happiness! Here is the care of relatives and friends, accept our warmth, please don't close yourself!

If you are withdrawn, please don't stay away and give you my smile! Going out of yourself and smiling at everyone will shorten the distance between people!

If you are moody, please don't worry, give you my tenderness! More tolerance, more understanding and more communication will make life peaceful!

If you feel unloved, please don't hate yourself and give you my love! Only by helping, caring and caring for each other can our society be harmonious!

If you are not satisfied with your life, please don't be sad and give you my health! Money is not everything, but peace and happiness are the greatest blessings in life!

If you encounter failure, please don't be discouraged and give you my confidence! Failure is the mother of success. Only by learning from failure can we achieve greater victory!

If you encounter setbacks, please don't resent and give you my courage! Only in adversity can you get exercise, and after the storm is a rainbow. I believe I can work miracles!

If you encounter difficulties, please don't be disappointed and give you my wisdom! If the sky were to fall, you would be fearless, and all the problems would be solved in your hands, leaving you vulnerable!

If you feel depressed, please don't be discouraged and give you my hope! If you give, you will get. I believe that a beautiful tomorrow is in your hands, and the world is young because of us!

If you feel desperate, please don't give up and give you my dream! The road of life is long and long. With a goal, you have a reason to live, and you must fight for it!

If everything goes wrong with you, I will give you everything I have! I don't understand the value of life. I only know that with the love and care between people, our existence will be full of meaning!

I don't have to pay with my wallet.

1, a sister slept soundly in the thesis self-study class, and the class teacher came into the classroom and found her sleeping soundly. Push her over, no response, shake hard, turn around and go back to sleep. The class teacher pushed again, and the sister paper stretched out her index finger for one minute, just one minute, and then slept for one minute. The whole class burst into laughter, and sister paper woke up. I thought my mom!

2. Graduated from university and worked as an intern in a hospital. After a minor operation under the guidance of the doctor, I remembered some precautions in the operation and bowed my head and walked out of the operating room. At this time, the family members gathered around to ask about the situation. I didn't know how to smoke at that time. I remembered the scenes that often appeared on TV, so I said, "We have tried our best." Suddenly, my family cried, and I was punished.

My brother and the manager of their company drove a pickup truck to the market to buy buckets, the super-large ones. My brother drove a little faster on the road. When he turned the corner, the bucket was thrown down. They quickly stopped to pick it up, only to see a parking man riding an electric car fly past, holding a bucket at my brother and saying, I saw it first.

4. I feel very ordinary when I see the photos of my girlfriend's boyfriend before. His girlfriend explained that he was not photogenic. Today, I saw that I was uglier than the photo, and my girlfriend asked. Not to hurt her self-esteem, she held back for a long time and said with emotion that he was actually quite photogenic.

6-year-old son said he would marry the little girl next door. Mom said: have you seriously considered it? Son: Of course! Mom asked: how to go to school? We all have our own bikes. The son said. Finally, the mother asked her son, What if you get married and have children? Son: We discussed that we don't plan to have children for the time being. If she lays an egg, I will crush it!

6. Wife: Last night, I had a sweet dream that you promised me 200 yuan to buy clothes. Honey, can you realize my dream? Husband: Of course. As luck would have it, I dreamed last night that I gave you 200 yuan!

I took a bus the day before yesterday. There is a little girl and her brother sitting next to me. They talk about math problems. My brother asked my little sister, you are 5 years old and I am 20 years old. How old am I in 60 years? The younger sister said: 60 years later, I was 65 years old and my brother died.

8. I invited a buddy to dinner today. He may have eaten too much. On the bus, he couldn't help burping three times: Er ~ Er ~ Er ~ A little friend sitting next to him was sitting on his mother's lap, and he was so angry: Qu Tian Ge ~ The whole car laughed wildly.

9. A buddy likes to go to the library and always sits face to face with the goddess. Once, he finally got up the courage and threw a note to ask him to see a movie. After about ten minutes, the goddess stood up and said slowly, I should go. Do you want to come? Then, without looking up, the buddy said a crucial sentence: you go first, I still don't understand the problem here.

10, a day at home, my wife wants to eat mutton. Deliberately trying to hint at me, I said to my three-year-old daughter, honey, what if mom wants to eat mutton? The daughter's eyes shifted from the TV and said, don't worry, you caught the wolf. . .

1 1. My son who was doing his homework suddenly asked me: Mom, how should I make sentences? I thought about it and said to him: this word can make many sentences, such as: you have to get up early; You should do your homework quickly; You should eat without being picky about food; You should listen carefully in class and be excited when you talk, only to see your son suddenly throw away his pencil and shout at me: OK, OK, I will. You should shut up!

Very interesting sentence

1. I like people who are "half-hearted": they have love, confidence and responsibility for me; Talking creatively makes me "satisfied"!

I thought this bird could not fly across the sea, because it didn't have the courage to cross it. Ten years later, I found that it was not birds that could not fly, but the other side of the sea, and I didn't wait. ...

Five hundred years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!

I have bad luck recently, so don't get close to strangers, or I will drink water, wet my teeth, wet my shoes and dry my stool.

5. A heart that can't be fucked, your uncle who can't fuck enough.

6. Wearing Hengyuanxiang's sweater, carrying a gift box of melatonin, holding three refined calcium gluconate and drinking Taiji chicken juice syrup, many people go to places-this is performance art.

7. Children don't eat and are picky about food, which is not only a digestive problem, but also a lack of mind.

8. If you are together for a long time, you will be divided, and if you are divided for a long time, you will be together; Drinking will drive you crazy. You will drink every glass of wine.

9. The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

10. The miser was on a business trip, and he was afraid that others would steal the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spit in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

1 1. Men worship Guanyin and sit on the lotus, while women worship the old man and push the cart.

12. Like someone, there is no pain. It may be a long pain to love someone, but the happiness he gives me is also the greatest happiness in the world.

13. I miss you, I miss you to death. How about finding a painter to draw you, sticking you in a cup, drinking water and kissing you every day, and having a demo? Pour a cup of boiling water and I'll burn you to death.

14. Because there is love, there will be expectations, so even disappointment is a kind of happiness, although this happiness is a bit painful.

15. A girl once said that she could wait for me in her next life. When I told her that I liked her, she turned to me and said, "Are you going to chase me?" Wait for the next life! "

16. Once a girl said that she could change herself for me. That day, when I got up the courage to tell her that I had a secret crush for a long time, she said to me, "What do you like about me? I can't change it! "

17. There was once a girl who was willing to jump off a building for me. Knowing that I like her, she said to me upstairs, "Don't come here! If you come near me, jump from here! "

18. You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: lack of rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation. .

20. Women are sometimes like walnuts. As long as you can break her hard shell, you will find how soft and fragile she is inside.

2 1. Women have a thousand reasons to do what they want, and there are also a thousand reasons to stop men from doing what they want.

22. If you are a fish, then I am a hook and I want to catch you; If you are a hill, then I am a river on the side of the mountain, and I want to walk around you; If you are a steamed stuffed bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, and I want to soak you.

23. In the evening, my classmates said in their sleep, "Love the princess, love the princess, don't leave me." I was stunned! After a while, "Tang Daqing perished like this, I am not reconciled, I am not reconciled." I just collapsed.

24. Xiao Li just bought a new car license plate 00544 (let me try). One day, he was rear-ended in the street. Xiao Li thought, who dares to hit me with my awesome numbers? Get off and have a look. Car number: 44944 (try it).

25. You can go as far as you want.

26. Rogues are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

27. Please respect yourself, Mr. Guest. Xiaohua's little girl only sells herself, not her skills.

28. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

29. A man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime.

30. If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop you from unbuttoning her clothes.

3 1. Working overtime during this period is exhausting and stressful. A good friend I have known for a long time went online on QQ, so I asked, "How to decompress?" Friend reply: Click the right mouse button to extract the file.

32. I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time and went to the bathroom. Later, it was found that the toilet was broken and could not be flushed. Finally, I had to call my girlfriend's father to help, and several people were watching. Hey.

33. When I was shopping with my girlfriend, I met a little beggar and asked me to buy flowers, but I didn't give them. As a result, I was hugged by my thigh and shouted, Dad, Khan.

34. When I was in college, I went back to my dormitory after playing football. The dormitory is on the sixth floor. When I climbed up, I found that my roommates were not there and the door was closed. I went downstairs and asked my aunt, then climbed up to open the door, returned the key, climbed up again and found the door closed again. A classmate next door passed by and said, "Look at your dormitory, the door is not closed. Let me close it for you."

35. The sun is too important for the earth. Without the sun, who would the earth revolve around? The earth is dispensable to the sun. The sun shines as usual with or without the earth.

36. A colleague's relative came to Xiamen, and his colleague gave him a Xiamen electronic card-a bus pass. The man showed the driver an electronic card pass and wanted to find a place. The driver stopped him and said, read the card, so he picked up the electronic card pass and read it aloud. . . The driver said, Look over there. This person actually went directly to the place pointed by the driver and tried his best to read: Xiamen e -pass. . The car lost control on the spot.