My boyfriend left me.

Once I went to buy breakfast and found that my usually unsmiling boss was also waiting in line. I was very nervous. After greeting, I said to the chef, "Master, please give me a steamed stuffed bun and two breasts!" " "... for the first time in two years, I heard the boss laugh so loudly.

I went to buy watermelon that day, and I heard someone ask the melon seller: Does your watermelon have skin?

The political teacher once said in a lecture, "Let me give you an example." Then he felt wrong and said, "give me an example."

In my junior year, my classmates went to work in a shopping mall selling fish. The guest took the selected fish, and my classmate gently pointed to the fish killing platform and said to him, "If you go, someone will kill you." ……

Tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!

Me: "That's our physics teacher ..."

Classmate: "What do you teach?"

Me: "Chemistry ..."

One day when I was at school, a phone call came to me. My classmate answered, handed it to me and said, "Your mother wants you."

As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said, "A man and a woman."

Everyone laughed wildly. I was laughed at for four years. ...

Once my classmate's mother called, I used to say "he's not here". This time I want to say "he's out". The result is: "He's gone ..."

Another one, when we were in junior high school, we rang the bell after class. Once, just after class, the bell rang and the teacher was still there. Suddenly, a boy who was sleeping in class suddenly bounced up from his seat and screamed, "Mom! Get up and cook! I should go to class! " ……

My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

In computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine and shouted, "Boss, change the machine!" " "The whole class is stupefied.

Someone went to my aunt's house before, and they just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

I met a girl who I had been longing for for for a long time and came out of the bathhouse. I wanted to be close. For a long time, I said, "Are there many men in your bath?"

A teacher played mahjong all night and saw that the blackboard had not been wiped. He was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

My friend's child is half a year old, so I called to care. After a few commonplaces, he said, "Does your child eat human milk or yours now?" ……

That's a good donkey. Like the heart, the heart and the lungs. ...

In the political class, I talked about the political problems between China and Japan, and talked about the Japanese samurai committing suicide by caesarean section. The teacher said, "Japanese samurai all died by caesarean section!" " " ……

Once I called a customer named Wang, and the switchboard was answered by a MM in a sweet voice. She told me his extension number. I didn't know if the king I was looking for was a man or a woman, so I asked by the way, "Is he a man or a woman?" ……

Yesterday, someone said that they would introduce me to a girlfriend. I want to ask, "Is it beautiful?" The result said, "Is it cheap?" . Sweat to death ...

Senior college student, late for educational psychology ... walked into the classroom and glanced at the blackboard. The old professor was angry and asked the teacher elder sister to answer the questions on the blackboard. Senior sister prevaricated for a long time, saying "sexy and sexual theory", which is too difficult to talk about. "The whole class is messed up. The original title of the professor is: on reason and perception. ...

When I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture and talked about a new material, saying, "The sexual function of this material is incomparable with that of the old material ... Oh, no, the performance and function ..."

When my parents quarreled, my father said angrily, "I want to go out!" " "

One of our colleagues is on a business trip, so the dealer invited us to dinner. If you want to pee while eating, the dealer said there is a bathroom opposite. If you go, you can tell the door that we are eating across the street, so it's free. In order to save twenty cents, our colleague went straight ahead and confidently said to the toilet administrator, "I'm here for dinner!" " "

Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" My brain is too hot. ...

My classmate Yu Jingbo wrote a letter one day, and the dormitory doorman shouted at the entrance of the dormitory: "The letter of dried cold rice noodles!"

After going back to the dormitory after the evening self-study, Lu Yu followed her all day, always wanting to strike up a conversation, but she didn't have the courage to go forward. Until the fairy mm wanted to walk into the girls' building, she gritted her teeth and stepped forward and asked mm loudly, "Classmate, are you a woman?" Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

When I was a child, my father watched me write a composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. The father smiled and said to his mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!"

My surname is Zhu, the computer room of the management unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Sir Chicken, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.

When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is You Yongzhi, and I'm from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The woman shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I ... My name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming ..."

Mr. Huang loves revolution. In memory of the Red Army, he named his son Jun. One day, he sent his son to class. When he saw the No.8 bus stop, he shouted to his son, "Run Huang Jun, the No.8 bus is coming!"

Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on 10 floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the ninth floor. Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?" The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel." Xiao Wang: "Ah? ! When did this happen? Why don't I know? I haven't had time to see him off yet? " "It doesn't matter, you can go to the following to find him ..."