Is it a joke not to laugh?

Who can tell me a joke and make me laugh? I don't laugh and I don't count! 1, the son of a rich man likes to play truant and lie. So the rich man bought a polygraph robot at a high price. It will be late tomorrow. Father: Where have you been? Son: The library. The robot took a picture. Son: Go to my classmate's house to watch * * *. Father: How bold! I've never seen it in my life. The robot immediately slapped his father. Mother thundered, You deserve to be so strict with your son. After all, he is your own! Bang! The robot slapped his mother again!

2. A man and a woman were having an affair at a woman's house, but her husband came home early. When the doorbell rang, the man was startled, but the woman said calmly, "Don't be nervous." Then she took out a bag of rubbish from the kitchen and walked to the door. Honey, take this bag of garbage out and throw it away before you come in. The man left safely. On his way home, he thought, What a clever woman! Walking to the door, the man rang the doorbell, and his wife opened the door and handed out a bag of garbage. ......

From the funny jokes, give me extra points if you laugh!

Who can tell me a joke and make me smile? Confucius said hit with bricks, hahaha!

Confucius said: hit with bricks! What a mess! Press the head! Not dead again!

Buddha said: I am merciful! A brick almost died!

Confucius said: fighting with bricks and facing each other should not be chaotic. Since it is, how can one be alone and have fun with friends?

I'm dying! I'm dying!

Buddha said:! I am kind! With a knife, there will be less pain, and alleviating pain is compassion!

Confucius said: hit with bricks, look at your face, and don't mess up. Since it is, how can you be alone and have friends together? This is a pleasure, that's all.

, almost to the dead, call the dead! Heroes also!

Confucius said: fight with bricks, according to the surface, and should not be chaotic. Since, you can be alone and with friends, hard and happy.

That's all, that's all, that's all, that's all Do you know that?/You know what? It's obvious, but it's not clear when you take a brick as your face! One thing is clear.

Confucius said: The bucket is made of bricks and should not be chaotic. Look at your face and shout hard, but you can't. Your right hand and left hand are almost finished, and the brick is about to be broken by shoes.

Just turn it over!

Dong Ze said: Using atoms is painless, and there is no feeling at all!

Buddha said: I am merciful, less painful and reach bliss earlier!

1. When I got home, my mother asked me if I smoked? I said, no. Have you been drinking? I said, no, are you seeing someone? I said, no ... Mom said, this, right, I said, this ... really didn't.

Who can tell me a joke that makes me laugh? One day, in a bar, there were three men.

A said, "My wife and I came here four times last night. In the morning, my wife said to me,' Husband, I admire you so much.' "

B said, "I came here with my wife six times yesterday, and the next morning my wife said she would never fall in love with anyone else again."

Everyone asked C, "How many times did you and your wife come last night?"

C said, "once."

You disdain to ask again:

"What did your wife say to you that morning?"

C said, "Honey, shall we have a rest?"

Who can tell me a hilarious joke? The primary school teacher taught the children to read and said, "milk means small." For example: suckling pig, squab, etc. Let Xiao Ming make another sentence.

Xiao Ming said: "My family is very poor and can only live in an apartment of 30 square meters." The teacher said angrily, "Change another one."

Xiao Ming thought for a moment and said, "I passed the * * in front of my house this morning." The teacher looked a little angry and said, "No,"

Xiao Ming thought for a while, scratched his head and said, "This will make me angry." Teacher. . .

Who can tell me a joke? A man who likes fishing caught a squid. Squid begged him for mercy and said, let me go, don't roast me. The man said, … Yes, but I have a question for you. Squid said, you roast bar, you roast bar. After that, the fisherman roasted the squid.

I had no money to buy cigarettes, so I asked my wife for money. Daughter-in-law lying in bed said she wanted to buy cigarettes, one by one. Looking at her slightly drunk expression, I couldn't help but fall into deep meditation. Where can I buy a cigarette and a half in such a cold day?

joke

In high school, the most crowded place in the school should be the third teaching building, because many open classes are there and people come and go. There is a public blackboard at the entrance of the first floor of the third teaching building, on which you can write messages, post notices of finding things or find things with chalk. One day, a line suddenly appeared in the lower right corner of the blackboard, and many people were watching. It originally said, "Wen Wen, please wait for me at the school gate at 9 o'clock tomorrow night under the statue of Lei Feng. If there is a connection between you and me, of course you know who I am. If you can't guess who I am, then there is no need for us to meet! " The next day, a beautiful font was added under the original line: "Dear, of course I know who you are! For convenience, please pick me up at 8: 45 tonight, please hold 999 roses and shout my name, so that I will come to your side soon. " That night, many curious men and women were waiting for the girls downstairs, all wanting to see who the hero and heroine of the story were, but after waiting for more than half a night, there was no exciting scene, so everyone was cursing who made the prank and couldn't wait to catch it and make a meal. But the next morning, another sentence appeared on the blackboard, apparently written by that boy: "Dear, if I have only one dollar left, should I buy you a rose or a loaf of bread for myself?" As a result, everyone's curiosity was aroused again. I don't know whether this girl named "Wenwen" will choose romance or take care of the poor boy's stomach first. However, the next day, it was still that touching handwriting, but her answer surprised everyone: "Dear, you should buy a box of chalk first, otherwise how can we contact?"

Who can tell me a joke? Once upon a time there was a ghost.

Fart is dead.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Who can tell me a joke? There is a long queue in the supermarket. When it was my turn, I ...

Tell the clerk to buy 50 condoms.

As a result, the two girls in the back sipped their mouths.

Laugh wildly.

So I turned around and glanced at it with gloomy eyes.

They took a look and then turned to the clerk.

And said, "Wait, change it to 52.