Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Mercenaries spread abroad

Mercenaries spread abroad

Difficult to master:

After 2.6 million words, the little mercenary gradually came to an end. Next, I will put the hard experience into the book Samsara, which should be officially serialized in September, with a total number of words ranging from1.5000 words to1.6000 words, that is, there are eight simplified versions.

They are rumored that it will be updated after "Samsara" is finished.

A short story beyond time and space, chapter 00 1, the biography of the world mercenary.

Who is the strongest in the world?

Is he a hero? The answer is obviously no, in history, clash of the titans has the highest frequency of heroes, and the quality of heroes has reached an unprecedented level with the superior gods, but ... how many great heroes who were all-powerful yesterday became small notes on the road to greater heroes' success the next day? Clash of the titans's final outcome is ... the grave of almost all human heroes!

So this is a god? Referring also to clash of the titans, this answer is obviously incorrect. In the war across the plane, more than half a dozen gods became history.

Time, only time is the eternal strength in this world. There are no heroes and gods who can compete with people all the time but never deliberately reflect their own times.

It has been 120 years since the end of clash of the titans. Only 120 years is enough to make the most powerful Ami Empire decline irretrievably at the end of clash of the titans.

Although there are unparalleled talents like Redstone Emperor, heroes like Mercenary King, Holy Dragon Knight and Black-faced Dragon King who are comparable to the Lord God, although the post-war empire enshrined these heroes who have made great contributions in clash of the titans in the "Star Pavilion", and although these heroes have huge statues in every city where they fought, there is no way for these drifting heroes to delay the inevitable decline of a powerful empire.

For proper nouns such as clash of the titans, Mercenary King, Holy Dragon Knight and Black-faced Dragon King, please refer to my book Mercenary World. )

Today, Cambre, the imperial capital, is no longer the political, economic, cultural and military center of Pangea.

Ling Cinema, located in the goblin forest, is an irreplaceable political center of Pan-continent. Her Royal Highness Queen Lingbao, who was baptized by the gods in her childhood, now shows irreplaceable charm on the whole continent like the red moon in the night sky.

On the third day of January every three years, at the invitation of Queen Lingbao, all the imperial kings and all the religious popes of Pangaea will come to this huge city which can only be reached through the teleportation array to attend the summit, where the disputes between empires can be settled. In these days, people can even see several gods and heroes who are still alive, such as His Royal Highness the Mountain Dwarf King Furnace, His Royal Highness Hoons, the first heir of the Forest Dwarf Kingdom, His Royal Highness Gersu, the chief elder of the Grassland Elf, His Royal Highness the Zoroastrian Pope Adam Pine and so on.

There is a saying among young people that if you can meet several legendary and epic heroes in Ling Cinema and get their appreciation, you may get their personal biographies and eventually become a new generation of man of the hour. Rumors like this make Ling Ying the most dynamic city in the whole continent.

The economic center of the mainland was replaced by Mumbai. After clash of the titans, a large desert became a fertile oasis. No matter from the frozen continent in the north, Fanos continent in the south, or even Alcatraz Island in the southwest, most merchant ships arrive at the eastern corner seaport 100 miles east of Mumbai, and Mumbai has become the largest distribution center for commercial goods in the whole continent. All businessmen firmly believe that Zoroastrianism, the most powerful religion after clash of the titans, will bring them enough good luck.

As for the cultural center and military center of the whole continent, it is the mercenary king city between Mumbai and the capital of Ling Ying, and it is also the place where Her Royal Highness Amy Harper, the mercenary king, was founded.

Whether it is a human knight, an orc hero, an elf hero or a dwarf hero, any one of them, out of respect for heroes such as the mercenary king, the holy dragon knight and the black-faced dragon king, is willing to give everything for this emerging city, not to mention the gold man left by the mercenary king and of course the dragon at a higher level.

This series of three capitals from south to north constitutes a new sphere of influence of the mainland ―― the rise of the East and the decline of the West!

As for the history of Cambre ... it has really declined. It used to be a big city with a million residents. Now, the total population is less than 600,000, among which there are many curious travelers. If you spend 100 purple gold coins, you may buy a castle-like aristocratic mansion in Shikambulai ―― of course, you don't even have to think about the former residence of Chimen, Linmen and a small mercenary group. These, like Xilin Island, are the historical heritages of Pan-continent, even spanning the Creator and the Dragon. Every day, young people in Chinese mainland visit the former residences of these great men with reverence.

When winter goes and spring comes, countless red, yellow, blue, pink and purple flowers quietly decorate the ancient city of Cambre.

In the early morning, just to the north of the ancient city, there was a loud sound of reading in a huge aristocratic mansion covered with wormwood.

"Confucius: It is a great pleasure to have friends from afar."

"The Bible says: If someone hits you on the right face, give him your left face."

"Buddha said: If I don't go to hell, who will go to hell?"

……

Through the carved fence in the yard, we can clearly see that a large group of children over 65,438+00 years old are sitting on the thatched ground in the yard. According to different ages, the oldest is 65,438+05,6, and the youngest is only 8 or 9 years old. In front of them, there is a low wall painted black with ink as a blackboard, and a row of typesetting is written on the ground.

Interestingly, the little boy in black standing in front of the blackboard, at first glance, seems to be the youngest of this group of children, holding a pointer in his hand and reading while shaking his head, which is quite enlightening. However, this enlightenment education did not use the three-character classics as a tutorial, but moved out the classic languages of many religious celebrities in history, which was also very interesting.

"You, two dog, explain to me what the Bible says: If someone hits you on the right cheek, give him your left cheek." The little boy held out his pointer to ask questions.

"Yes, boss." The questioned little boy immediately got up from the ground, put his hands behind his back, and straightened up: "Boss, you taught us this question last time. When you go out to collect protection money in the future, if you have a good attitude, tear this page out of the Bible and give it to them. If you have a bad attitude, tear this page off and give it to them after persuasion. "

"Wrong!" The little boy in black let out a cry, and the pointer was immediately scratched on Zu Er Sasako's ass. Zu Er Sasako kept inhaling painfully: "Grandma, I never knew how to draw inferences from one instance to another. So, how can I expect you to be my right-hand man in the future? " Don't yi tooth at me! The third meaning of this sentence is that if the boss hits you on the right face, you should stick out your left face quickly. This is iron discipline and unconditional obedience, understand? ! "

"I understand!"

"Damn, didn't eat? I can't hear you clearly! " The little boy's pointer quickly hit the ass of four or five students, and dozens of children quickly shouted at the top of their voices: "I see! Boss! "

The little boy in black snorted and cocked his head at it. Obviously, this time he was slightly satisfied: "Tell me, George W. Bush, what is our goal?"

"Yes, boss." A little guy who looks a bit like a monkey jumped up from the ground: "The boss made it very clear that life is alive, so eat and drink." . Eat your favorite meat, drink the best wine, hit the best people, spend the most money, and pick up the best girls ... "

"Mama of, you his grandmother thought how so unhealthy! When did I say I wanted to pick up the best girls? ! "The little boy in black greeted Bush's ass with a pointer, but he was still unconvinced. He kicked the teenage boy out four or five paces: "Damn it, how many times have I told you: all virtues are loyalty first, regardless of his heart, the first half of the sentence is to educate you to listen to the boss; Put all evil first, regardless of your intentions. The second half of this sentence is telling a truth, life has never changed since ancient times! How did Zhou Wang lose his country in ancient times? "

"Boss, I was wrong." George W. Bush wiped his tears.

"Alas ..." The little boy in black stood on tiptoe and stretched out his hand and touched the head of the little boy who was two heads taller than him. "Me too. I'm too eager for you to succeed in one day. This is my fault, too. I really love you and hate your failure. All right, sit down. Remember: how many detours do you have to take in the future? "

George W. Bush's face is full of pride.

The little boss in black went to the blackboard again: "Next, everyone recited our three-character classics loudly."

"Yes, boss!" A large group of children straightened up immediately, and Lang Lang's endorsement echoed in the ancient house again: "Tortoise son, rabbit, gray grandson, Yating, find a cigarette, go away, damn it, you uncle ..."

Knock ... Knock ... Knock ... The whole history of Cambre rings a deep bell.

"Boss, the city gate is open." George W. Bush whispered to the little boy in black.

The little boss in black waved his pointer and stopped all the children. The little boss stood on a big water tank and screamed with a harsh child's voice: "The troubled times are coming. What is our sacred mission? " ! "

"rob the rich and help the poor!" Many children glared at each other and roared out the following answers!

"What is our means? ! "The little boy in black then shouted.

"Stealing!"

"Our best goal? ! "

"Rich children and rich women!"

"What is the value of your existence?"

"Serve the boss!"

"okay. The Lord said, a new day means a new beginning! Don't waste your youth, put your limited life into infinite work! Now, let's go! " The little boy in black is like a real general. With a wave of his hand, dozens of little boys rushed out of the dilapidated aristocratic mansion.

The street outside the noble mansion was suddenly in chaos, and all the vendors disappeared almost instantly. And these children quickly divided into eight columns in the running, and the target directly pounced on the eight gates of Cambre.

A thin camel is bigger than a horse. Although Shekanbray is declining, it is still the most populous city on the west side of the mainland. At present, there are still four mainland highways meeting in Shikanbuli, and many tourists come to Shikanbuli every day.

At the south gate of Cambre, three forest elves and a little boy walked into the ancient city along the crowd.

After clash of the titans, more and more forest elves began to walk out of the goblin forest. These upright, kind, vicious people, supported by Queen Lingbao, have become a force to be reckoned with in Pan-continent, and even gained enough respect among ordinary human residents. It is said that His Highness Adam Pine of Zoroastrianism once joked that if a forest elf cult is established, it is estimated that there will be millions of faithful followers immediately.

These three elves, a man and two women, look like human beings in their twenties and thirties. They are as handsome and beautiful as other elves. It is the little boy next to him that attracts more people's attention-this little boy has both the characteristics of elves and humans!

It is strange that this little boy may be a rare half-elf or half-human.

The marriage between grassland elves and human beings can still be seen, while noble forest elves generally despise human beings. In addition, even if humans marry forest elves, the children born will not be recognized by forest elves-elves and humans have the same bad habit: pay attention to the purity of blood.

If this little boy is really a half-elf, how can he hold the hand of the female elf very intimately?

"Aunt. Are we going to visit grandpa? " The little boy looked up and asked.

"Well, yes. It's up to you to worship grandpa for your mother this year. " The female forest elf lowered her head and said in a warm voice.

"I've never seen grandpa, grandpa is great? Is grandpa a dragon knight? " The little boy shook the hand of the forest elf.

"Well ..." This question is obviously not easy to answer. The three elves looked at each other, and finally the male elf squatted down: "Your grandfather is not a dragon knight, but he is much greater than the dragon knight. In fact, I haven't seen your grandpa ... "

There is regret in the tone of the male elf.

"Then you must have met my father? Unfortunately ... I haven't seen my dad. " The little boy muttered with his head down and drew circles on the ground with his feet.

The two fairies beside them trembled slightly, and quickly squatted down and took the little boy's hand: "Don't worry, a great man like your father will appear in front of you sooner or later on his colorful dragon. What you need to do now is to work hard and not let him down. "

"Oh-"whispered the little boy.

In the distance, the little boy in black and George W. Bush, who has some close relatives with the monkey, are whispering behind a pillar.

"Look, just three people are squatting. The woman on the left has a wallet tied to her waist, which contains at least two handfuls of money and purple gold coins according to the outline shape." The little boy in black narrowed his eyes and carefully identified him.

"But ... but boss, that's a forest elf. Each of them is the best archer and magician. I'm afraid we ... "Bush is not very confident.

"Afraid? Don't fool around if you are afraid! Remember, I said, turn fear into strength! " The little boss gave him a hard look: "If we follow the plan, there must be something valuable on that boy among them." You go fishing in the sea, that woman, hum ... look at my means. "

"Hey ... hey ... you can't catch me!" George W. Bush ran out like a rabbit, laughing and yelling at the little boss behind him.

"You ... you ... wait for me, wait for me ..." The little boss in black is really like a little boy of eight or nine years old, stumbling behind him.

The sharp-eyed people in the street ran away one by one. People who don't know are still watching stupidly.

George W. Bush laughed and bumped into three elves, laughing and shouting, "You can't catch me ..."

The three elves were startled, and when they saw that it was a little boy, they breathed a sigh of relief. At this time, the little boy in black behind also hit the leg of the fairy and was knocked upside down.

"The younger brother first, what's the matter? Does it hurt? Show me quickly. " The fairy reached out and pulled up the little boy in black and looked at it carefully.

Unexpectedly, the little boy grabbed the older child in front and laughed: "I got you, I got you, you are quick to take me away, hurry up, don't lie to me."

The two boys ran away laughing.

The three elves couldn't help laughing. Alas … these human children have always been so naughty.

"Did you find out?" While laughing, the male goblin gestured to the two girls: "That child just now, with black hair, black eyes and straight nose, really smells like a deputy head."

Two elf women are stupefied, thinking about the appearance of the deputy head in their minds. Suddenly, their noses were sour and tears came out of their eyes at the same time.

"Aunt, aunt, what's the matter with you?" The little boy around him quickly shook hands with two elf ladies.

"Nothing ... sand got into my eyes when the wind blew." The elf woman on the left quickly wiped the tears from her face with her hand, covered her nose and took two sips gently, trying her best to return to normal.

The elf woman on the right bit her slender fingers like white jade with her teeth, and a smaller voice choked and said to the male elf, "Don't say that in the future, okay?" We're here to pay homage to General Chi, not to the vice president. Alas ..... I don't know what happened to the deputy head's child. I think it will be as great as the deputy head, but ... more than a hundred years have passed. Maybe, there is no news from this child ... long after his death. "

The little boy on the ground stared at him: "Aunt, who is the deputy head of the town?" Is it my uncle or my uncle? "

The elf woman on the left reached out and picked up the little boy: "It's your uncle. Let's find a place to live. Let's take a look around and see if we can find a statue of your uncle in the city. "

The Tree House Bar was the same as it was 100 years ago. Even the layout of the room is almost the same as that of 100 years ago. In the innermost part of the Tree House Bar, there is also an auction house that auctioned the royal objects of that year. In those years, His Royal Highness King Amy, a mercenary, loved to handle the hammer. On the platform, she watched countless rich people compete to raise prices.

The three fairies are in trouble here ―― the purses of the fairies have been pulled off with belts! The clever elf immediately guessed who this "little thief" was. After careful examination, they found that a pendant was missing from the half-elf boy's neck. The pendant itself is worthless, but it is a gift from Amy, the mercenary king, to Her Majesty Queen Lingbao.

The faces of the three elves are a little hot. What a pity! Among all races, elves are famous for their keen sixth sense, and all three elves have participated in the expedition to the celestial world in clash of the titans, and they are still the elders of the elf kingdom! Being successful as a thief is doomed to be laughed at for life.

In order to find some pocket money, the youngest elf woman stays with the boy first. The other two elves decided to go out and find this place.

The six senses of forest elves are second to none in the whole human world. Forest elves can communicate with plants. Therefore, the tracking technique of forest elves is a Chinese odyssey!

Half an hour later, two elves, a man and a woman, stood on the wall of the old house.

There are at least thirty children in the fence, and the children's center turned out to be the little boy who looks a bit like the deputy head.

"Mama of, I repeat, things everyone pay, Lao tze will be unified distribution. Whoever dares to slant his hand, I will cut off his monkey paw! " The little boy with black head and eyes roared among the children: "Unbutton your belt, open your pocket and jump in place 100 times." Come on, you fucking jump! "

Many children have just started dancing in the same place.

"Stop it, this little thing is really like a deputy head." The fairy whispered.

"Like ... hum ..." The male goblin grunted coldly: "Don't tell your highness this, or they will definitely come to check if they know. I guess they'll all be angry This is also the deputy head? This is a typical bandit! Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, and the son born of mouse can make holes. The deputy head of the regiment and His Highness Sharo will never leave such a root. "

"That's true." The fairy echoed in a low voice, but soon the fairy girl whispered again: "You can't say that completely. Look at our little prince. Apart from his appearance, where is his temper a bit like your highness? " Therefore, we cannot generalize. "

"That ... is the little prince's blood with the blood of our elves. If it's your royal highness, huh ... still can't lift the whole goblin forest? Don't you remember that the colonel entered the demon forest several times when he did even a little good? Without him, the previous generation of Her Majesty the Queen also ... "The male elf left the pie mouth.

Hush-the fairy quickly hissed and stopped her companion's complaint: "Don't talk nonsense, this is not a demon forest. Scomber can always crouch tiger, hide dragon. If anyone hears this, if it goes out, the demon forest will be demolished. "

"Damn it, let me see, what's the harvest today?" The little boy in the yard untied the elf's wallet and shook it hard. Nearly a hundred gold coins and dozens of purple and gold coins splashed on the ground. Other children have never seen so much money. They all look silly. The dark-haired boy laughed: "I knew at a glance that those people were really grandma sheep, and I also boasted about how sensitive the elf's sixth sense was." As soon as grandpa made a move, the fairy girl became dull. This is true. "

"I want to beat this talkative child." The fairy's face changed at once.

"Hey-"the companion quickly grabbed her: "You are as noble as an elf as a child who doesn't look more than 10. Aren't you ashamed of being such a knowledgeable person?"

The fairy was blushed, and then she realized that the little boy in front of her might still be wearing open-backed pants.

"Ah ... what's that? Little Yue Se. " The little boy with black hair frowned and pointed to another child.

In the process of jumping in place, the sharp little boy suddenly fell from a red booklet.

"Boss, hey hey, this is what I bought with the sample money you sent last month. This is legal private property and needs your protection. " Yue Se picked it up from the ground with a smile.

The children around were sharp-eyed, and someone immediately saw the words on the cover, and the children immediately burst into envious exclamations.

"Wow ... it's Ai Yu."

"I depend, this kid is so willing to buy the latest version of Ai Yu, and it's fucking genuine."

"Why didn't I think of that? It's a pity that I ate all the money in the example last month. If I had known, I would have bought one. I can do this business without eating, but how can I not have a genuine little red book around me? "

Hum-the little boy with dark hair snorted, and all the comments disappeared: "That's ... that's ... that's ... what is" Selected Quotations of Amy Harper "? "

"Yes, the boss is really the boss." Little Yue Se's pale face flushed: "Why don't I lend the book to the boss first?"

Without saying a word, the little boy reached for Ai Yu, turned over two pages, suddenly threw a brand-new book on the ground and stamped his feet severely, scaring all the other children silly.

"Amy is the most fucking stupid, hypocritical and indecisive ... don't show this book to Lao Tzu in the future. Such people should have died a long time ago! If he had died earlier, he wouldn't have killed so many people and had to be separated from his wife! " The little black boy roared and kicked the book out!

"Damn it." The noble elf who just stopped his companion suddenly read the three-character sutra: "Why is my hand so itchy?" I'm going down to give this boy a good beating now! Don't stop me! "

Difficult to master:

After 2.6 million words, the little mercenary gradually came to an end. Next, I will put the hard experience into the book Samsara, which should be officially serialized in September, with a total number of words ranging from1.5000 words to1.6000 words, that is, there are eight simplified versions.

They are rumored that it will be updated after "Samsara" is finished.