How does psychology explain the inability to forget someone?

Never forgetting a person comes from the love deep in your heart.

Xia Zhu met him in the summer and hitched a ride with him to the shore of a Dongshui Lake. The humorous conversation deeply attracted people.

He kissed her softly, and the lake breeze rippled Xia Zhu's long hair. He said that he liked her long hair. Xia Zhu had grown her hair long for the first six years just because of his love.

For six years, her heart jumped whenever she heard the voice on WeChat, and she wanted to be by his side day and night. In the summer of the sixth year, there was no news about him suddenly. Xia Zhu cried and was very sad. He left her with too many memories, setting off fireworks, lighting up Kong Ming lanterns, making spicy hotpot together, getting drunk on her, worrying about her, and they fell in love with her to the bone. . That summer, Xia Zhu cried for three months and figured out a little bit. Maybe this is fate, and everyone will be fine regardless of fate!

There will always be a beautiful memory in a person's life. The result may not be happy, but the scenery along the way is actually more beautiful.

You may not know that person who cannot be forgotten, but he is also missing you from the end of the world!

He has met the most beautiful you, and he cherishes it very much. It is not easy to fall in love, and it is also difficult to forget each other. If you can't forget, don't forget. Life can only last for decades, but love can be as painful as it is short!

How does psychology explain the inability to forget someone?

Human memory is eternal, and humans are not as ruthless as grass and trees. Many things are engraved in your heart for life. For example, your biological parents will be remembered unforgettable even after several years! In terms of emotions, your divorced wife and children, your lover who has been friends for several years, you have been hurt by someone! Wait...this will all be remembered! You can’t forget it no matter what!

Psychology explains that one cannot forget a person, saying: The cognitive process is the cognitive process, which is the psychological process of receiving, encoding, storing, extracting and applying cognitive information of individuals in practical life. It mainly includes Perception, mind mapping and memory.

This is the explanation why people can't forget a person. From this explanation, we see that human memories are encoded, stored, and engraved on the hard drive. For example, seeing sights and emotions, seeing objects, hearing words, etc... will all be searched in the mind. Keywords will come back to your mind, so only time will gradually fade the impression in your mind! Thanks!

The person who cannot be forgotten must have given me an unforgettable experience. The reason why I cannot forget him is actually because I miss and cherish those things I once had.

Each of us has something we are unwilling to lose. Sometimes I will find that some things are obviously tasteless, but it is a pity to abandon them, so I am unwilling to give them up.

That’s the truth.

I'm happy to answer your question. I think you can't forget someone, maybe because there are "unfinished events".

The term "unfinished events" comes from Gestalt psychology (also known as various tower psychology) that was born in Germany in the early 20th century. In layman's terms, it refers to unexpressed emotions. .

Since these emotions are not fully expressed in the perceptual field, they linger in the subconscious. Once the "unfinished events" are formed, they will continue to exist until the individual has the courage to face and deal with them. to unexpressed emotions.

If you want to solve it, there are generally two methods.

1. Catharsis

First of all, we need to find out when and where the emotion occurred, and then express all the events related to this emotion in detail. Then we need to express our suppressed needs through language, emotion, and behavior, and feel from the heart why I have such emotions. When this emotion is completely brought from the subconscious to the conscious level, we have completed the process of catharsis. .

2. Compensation

The method of compensation should follow the principle of "the greatest simplicity". Basically, someone is wrong and he can't help you, but he still loves you. Yours, etc., simplify the conclusion and then repeat it again and again. And we must learn to actively look at ourselves, see our own growth, see that we are constantly becoming stronger and able to take responsibility for ourselves, and through such constant psychological hints, we can make up for the shortcomings in our hearts at that time.

From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, humans, animals, and plants all seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. If there is only a memory of 7 seconds, then for primitive people, there is a high probability that there is no way. For example, if a person is bitten by a wolf and forgets it, he will not know how to run away when he sees a wolf next time. Wouldn't it be another tragedy?

If you have been hurt by someone, if you forget, there is a high probability that you will be hurt by him again. Your instinct will make it difficult for you to forget this pit, and try your best to avoid falling into it again. .

If you have received a great favor from someone, if your life is not good now, there is a high probability that you will not forget it. If your life is better, there is a high probability that you will forget it.

Relationships are like a cosmic puzzle. No matter how many times we practice it personally or how many "teachings" we watch, we are still confused and trapped by love.

Is there a moment when you may suddenly think of a person? It has nothing to do with love or hate, nothing to do with debt or regret, just a faint memory, recalling the joys, sorrows and joys you once had together, and then laugh. I really looked like a big fool at first, and then as if I was someone else's joke, I went back to real life in the blink of an eye.

There will be such a presence in most people's lives: their ex.

Nowadays, we are no longer in the era of falling in love once and then getting married.

The probability of getting married for the first time is like winning a lottery ticket. Among millions of people, you may not meet such a person, and he is a perfect match in all aspects.

Under such a low-probability trend, exes have become an unavoidable presence in our lives.

Some people say that the ex is the biggest third party between two people together.

The lingering ex

Everyone handles relationships in different ways. Some people are easy to get together and break up without disturbing each other, while some people are muddled and confused.

If you cannot let go of past relationships, it will be difficult to enter your future emotional life.

Human beings are naturally curious about the unknown

Past experiences may also make you frightened: "I'm worried that he is like my ex"

This is The excuses and reasons you use to defend yourself, but you cannot apply the same model of getting along with your ex to your current relationship.

Use this to punish the innocent incumbent

Whether you are a "cutie" or a "paranoid", sometimes it just matters in a moment

Girls mentioned When meeting a boy's ex-girlfriend, the most common thing he says is: "You have never been so kind to me."

This is a very typical jealousy, which we usually think of as jealousy.

Although they won’t admit it, deep down they will still be jealous that their ex-girlfriend participated in your past;

They are jealous that their ex-girlfriend has many similar memories with you. ;

Jealous that you were so nice to her, etc.

Women's jealousy is still very scary. Otherwise, in palace dramas, in addition to the need for superiority, there is also jealousy. Everyone should be careful not to step on the minefield.

After talking about women, let’s talk about men—men’s possessiveness.

We all know that love itself is exclusive, and everyone has a strong possessive desire for their significant other.

This kind of possessiveness of men is not only directed at the ex-boyfriend, but also against any ambiguous opposite sex who appears around you. When you mention your ex-boyfriend intentionally or unintentionally, or they find out that your ex-boyfriend is with you There will be a sense of crisis in every trace of life, so you feel angry or angry.

When you don’t miss your ex, you say you will live well. But in fact, in the end, you may still have not forgotten

No one is willing to compare, no matter it is a good or bad comparison, everyone will feel uncomfortable.

In fact, every woman hopes that her current partner will be an upgraded version of her predecessor, keeping her predecessor’s advantages and removing her predecessor’s shortcomings.

Otherwise, your ex and your friends will laugh at you for finding someone who is not as good as your ex. Anyway, the current person is standing on the shoulders of his ex, and will encourage you if you change things or not.

The most important thing about love between the sexes is respect, and trust is also based on respect.

Not being obsessed with the past and not carrying the ruins of the previous love when meeting the next one shows respect for the relationship; being ungrateful to the predecessor is the greatest respect for the current one.

Your memories are yours, not ours.

Even if you can't really let go of the past, at least when you are with me, I hope you can pretend it.

Many people’s relationships are ruined by their own indecision and entanglement. They clearly feel sorry for their ex, but they think it’s friendship. In the end, they hurt their current partner and make decisions that they regret.

The best way is not to mention it at all.

Not every relationship can be called an ex.

There is a particularly important reason, which is a human complex.

Psychologists found in experiments:

People easily forget things that have been completed and have results, while they forget things that are suddenly interrupted, unfinished, and unfinished. Things that achieve your goals are always fresh in your memory

Love brings different feelings to people with different personalities and stages, and time allows us to grow.

No matter what our ex brings us, whether it is pain or happiness, I hope we can all say goodbye with dignity and end with dignity.

For the previous relationship, you must learn to be happy when you are separated.

Psychology is not a profound knowledge, but it is really practical. Let me give you a simple example: girls love to eat desserts, and delicious desserts are in the refrigerator. You always hypnotize yourself. I actually don’t want to eat it. If I eat it, I will get fat. Eating it represents my self-control ability. Worse...the more you self-hypnotize, the more you strengthen your belief that you want to eat it. If you can't forget, it means you are not ready at this stage. Adjust your mentality and leave everything to time.

There are many things in life. Being able to forget is called the past, and being unable to forget is called memory. Memories are not my coordinates, my coordinates are "forgetting"

There is a psychological phenomenon called "Unfinished event complex", we sometimes have an almost paranoid desire for the beginning and end of things. For example, in the process of falling in love, it is okay to break up; but, why? You have to make me understand.

But from the perspective of cognitive psychology, everyone will do three things repeatedly: evaluate past events, explain current events, and anticipate future events. These evaluations, explanations, and expectations will affect your emotions and behaviors. The shadows imprinted on your subconscious mind in the past will gradually affect your current behaviors and thoughts.

There is a term called "rebound effect". The more you want to forget, the more you will remember it inadvertently, and your heart will become more sensitive, so the memories will be recalled by similar bits and pieces in life, making the memory more profound. .