Tell me some cold jokes.

1. A few days ago, my voice was ill and I couldn't speak, but the leader asked me to take part in the chorus competition. Give me a complete number.

I didn't feel well, so I was actively treated before the game and cured.

As a result, the competition failed, and the leader sighed, "How did you catch up with your voice at this time?"

2. Passing the massage parlor in the middle of the night, the proprietress inside shouted to me: Boss, come in and sit down.

I said to her, "Do you want money?" .

Then she said angrily, "Have you ever seen a free massage shop in the world?"

Then I swore at her: "Have you seen the boss who left work so late?"

When I was a child, I went out to play with my buddies once. On the way, he picked up ten dollars. To tell the truth, I was not jealous that it was fake, so I asked him to buy some snacks in the canteen and spent eight yuan. Just when I had some balance in my heart, the boss found him forty-two.

4. Chatting with my best friend, I said that I have to find a handsome guy to marry for my next generation.

As a result, my best friend said that a handsome boy will not marry you for the sake of the next generation.

5, 300 pounds of anonymous did not see her husband lying on the sofa, sitting on his ass.

The law did not hold her responsible, because the law did not blame the public.

Extended data:

Cold jokes are a new linguistic phenomenon. With the popularity of the Internet, they have penetrated into the daily life of young people. An occasional joke or two can make the communication atmosphere relaxed and pleasant, and also show the humor and wisdom of the confidante.

A cold joke is a kind of joke, but it is quite different. The four main characteristics of cold jokes are: network as the carrier, thorough entertainment, duality of self-value and post-modern deconstruction.

From the genre point of view, cold jokes are divided into story type, question type, dialogue type and line type; Cold jokes can be divided into borrowing rhetorical rules, breaking the boundaries between time and space, confusing concepts, language crossing, violating logic, sophistry and slip of the tongue.