About the opening joke in the diary. 1

At the beginning of a school roll call, a class teacher was ingenious and said to the students, "I'll read the student number, so you can give your own names and get to know each other, okay?"

"No.001""Report teacher, my name is Jiao, my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "Who gave this to you?" "My dad" "What does your dad do?" "He opened a pig farm!"

"002" A girl stood up. "Report teacher, my name is Zhang and my name is Zhang Dekai."

"No.003" "Report teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother, and my name is Zhang Panda Kai." "Who gave you this name?" "It's my dad. He sells pliers. " The teacher quickly took a sip of water.

"No.004" "Report teacher, my name is Qu (this word is pronounced" hungry "). My name is Qu Ye. This is the name my mother gave me. She said that I played computer games when I was born. " The teacher felt a little uncomfortable.

"No.005" "Report teacher, fuck you" "How can you swear?" "No, teacher, I mean my surname is foster mother, and my father is a brewer." The teacher took a pill.

"No.006" "Teacher, my name is Gou, and my name is Gou Wuli" "Does your father own a steamed stuffed bun shop?" "Teacher, you are so smart!" The teacher has been a little shaken.

"No.007" "My name is Kuai (quick, three times) and my name is Kuai goods" "Don't tell me that your father runs a warehouse" "Teacher, you are so old-fashioned. My father is a pimp. " Blood oozed from the teacher's mouth.

"008" "Go to hell, teacher" "What? What did you say! " "I mean, my name is Ni, and I'm going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. Is my name interesting? " "Interesting, interesting." The teacher is about to cry.

"No.009" "Teacher, let's talk about it next time." "Why say it next time, you say it now." "No .. teacher, my name is Xia and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. " The teacher felt dizzy.

"0 10" "Teacher, my last name is Gao, and my name is Yin." "My name is Mei, and my name is Mei Conscience." "My name is Wu, and my name is Kate." "My last name is Mao Rongrong." .......

The teacher turned to the sky and growled, "God, I met a group of students!" " "Blood gushed from his mouth and he fell to the ground and died.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls!

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

Henan Province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only.

Steamed bread. "Old Dong said," Oh, just touch it. " The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "rogue! Old Dong was surprised: "Sixty cents?" It's too cheap! "