Selected humorous short message sentences of lovers

1. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

I am a bird imprisoned by you. I have forgotten how high the sky is, but I can't stand my delusion in this dazzling city. Tears are my only luxury.

How many times have I told you to go to bed early at night and not to go out, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

4.m: Every time I miss you, the star will drop a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

5. I think you are beautiful and stuffed with Xinjiang roast lamb leg. I miss you very fat, but it's heavy in my heart. It's late at night, the birds are asleep and the mosquitoes are out. I miss you and look forward to you. I'm doomed to insomnia tonight. The dream is lost, and the soul is haunted by it. Why not return the stolen heart?

6, the lover will eventually buckle the meat, and the pig pocket will appear in the lover's eyes. If the relationship is long-term, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig.

Seven, yeah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

8, I am a bit tacky, a bit boring and cute! A little lazy, a little bad, a little smart, a little rogue! Say rogue is rogue, slick love! You want to love me, then love me.

9. No matter where I am, thousands of miles away or within Wan Li, no matter when, ten years or a hundred years, I miss you deeply and love you. Although I deny the existence of all gods, I will always believe that you are a "new god!" "

10, you are bread in the morning, ice cream in summer, garlic in Shandong and pepper in Sichuan. Seeing your heart beating faster, but not your mood getting worse. I dreamed that your time passed too fast. I hope having you is not a long wait.

1 1, seeking friends: male, undergraduate, only a few points away; Working in a multinational organization, McDonald's cleans the table; Have a house, many people own it; Have a car, not a motor vehicle; A few years later, young people looking for beautiful women went to the grave together.

12, the craziest thing in my life is to fall in love with you. My greatest hope is to have you to accompany me crazy all my life!

13, you are the sun in my heart, but it's a pity to go down the mountain; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first!

14, lovely, you stole my love and my heart. I've decided to sue you in court. What should I sentence you to? The judge searched all criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously passed: I sentence you to be mine for life.

15, you and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world to find the other half. I finally found you after all the hardships, damn it! Only to find that our wings are on the same side.

16, I can't eat in the morning because I miss you; I can't eat at noon because I miss you more; I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily; I can't sleep at night because ... I'm hungry.

17, dear, for you, I will cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation. I will overcome any difficulties! If it doesn't rain, I will find you on time on Sunday!

18, the hot summer is long, the rolling heat wave has nowhere to hide, the eyes are black and flustered, and the head is sweating; Thinking of you in my heart is like eating cold candy, my heart is cold, and it is like an air-conditioned room no matter how hot it is!

19, if you are a lovely red apple, I am willing to be a slacker and chew you up!

20. I miss you, a morning glory, stretching bit by bit, inch by inch.

2 1. Angels fall in love with the devil, cars chase for love, trains derail for love, and toads stare at swans with their mouths open. Love doesn't need a reason, they like to chase quickly, and hesitation is doomed to regret!

22. Dear customer: As you send and receive yellow messages at will, your mobile phone will start the self-destruction program ten seconds after receiving this message. To avoid hurting innocent people, please throw your mobile phone ten meters away!

23. They all call me stupid. Yes, I fell in love with you without saying anything. I have no second thoughts about you, and I will never be half-hearted. Willy-nilly, my dear, I am willing to continue to do this for you.

24. The last completely correct weather forecast may be that God told Noah that the probability of rainstorm was 100%. Four reasons for being in a bad mood recently: the stock is falling every day, the football lottery has not won several issues, the position is not high for several years, and the beautiful girlfriend has run away!

25. Hold your lover's hand and follow me gently; Holding the hand of the little secret, delicious as spirits; Holding the pheasant's hand, * * * trembled again; Hold your wife's hand, and your left hand holds your right hand.

26. When I miss you, you are in the sky. You were in front of me when I scolded you. When I call you, you go to the subway station Are you the same now?

27. I miss you When I looked in the mirror just now, the man hiding behind the trash can and peeking at me outside really looked like you. Is that you? I saw him reading a short message.

28. After getting along these days, I feel like a deer in front of you. I want to confess, but I'm afraid you won't accept it. I can't control my inner feelings. I really like your mobile phone. Do you want to sell 20 yuan?

29. Are you off work now? You must be very busy these days. Pay attention to rest and don't be too tired. For example, don't read this message.

Thirty, yeah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

Why did you stop what you were doing? If you don't read this message, you will die. You stupid donkey, do you have a brain? Look at this boring message. It's really tasteless

32. After receiving this message, I like you, delete my secret love, reply that I want to marry me, or promise not to marry me, and change it to my person who died, and leave it to me in the next life and forward it to the world to declare that I love you!

33. My girlfriend and I went to buy chicken legs. I told her that you should ask the shop assistant. We only want the hind legs, but the front legs are not delicious. As a result, she really went and came back with a look of killing me.

34. I saw a beautiful woman yesterday and couldn't find a reason to strike up a conversation. The king took out a tissue from his pocket, chased the beauty and shouted, Beauty, your shoes are dirty. Do you want me to wipe them for you? Beauty: No, someone just licked it. Your Majesty: The competition is too fierce now.

35. When I was hungry last night, I went to the bar below for dinner. After the water boiled, I put salt on it. I accidentally put it on my hand and didn't want to waste it. My brain-dead hand was put into the pot and rinsed, and then I heard a cry.

36. Go to a roadside food stall for dinner at night. The two men in the middle got drunk, had a fight, and started touching each other. The restaurant owner watched the fun with us. I asked my boss why he didn't stop fighting. The boss said, "The customer is God, the Battle of Titan. How can we mortals participate? " What I said seems to make sense.

37. People who pay their daughter-in-law every month are not called paying wages, but are called forwarding wages. Ronaldinho and himself

38. If someone asks me: How did you get through those difficult years? I think I only have one answer: I have strong spiritual strength to support me. This kind of power is called "Dare to die" ...

39. In the hospital, I saw a nurse giving an injection to a little fat man. Many attempts failed. The little fat man couldn't help saying, it's all meat, and there are no blood vessels. Please change places ~

40. When others stay up late, you are sleeping; Everyone else is up, and you are still struggling to sleep for a few more minutes; You have a lot of ideas, but when your head is hot, it will pass, but others insist on one thing; You have to study for a long time, while others work overtime to eat instant noodles. If you don't finish the work, you will leave it until one or two, which is less efficient than others. I wonder how much it costs. Therefore, it is not without reason that you have good skin and beautiful spirit.

4 1. Today, I was away on business, and everyone was shaking and sleeping. A woman answered the phone: "Hey, I am sleeping, I am sleeping by car!" " Who the fuck am I sleeping with? I'm sleeping with a car full of men! Hey! "Then the whole car is full of energy!

42. "Boss, a washboard!" "What kind?" "Kneeling is comfortable!"

43. The little fish asked the big fish, "Mom, why do they say that the fish's memory is only seven seconds?" The big fish said, "What did you say just now?" The little fish said, "What?" The big fish said, "Why?" The fish said, "What's the matter?"

44. On a construction site, several strong men said to the boss, "How much do we tens of thousands of brothers share in this batch of goods today?" The boss thought for a moment and said, "Eighty thousand!" The strong man who took the lead frowned and said, "Eighty thousand is not as good as a bunch of brothers. How about 10 million? " The boss waved his hand: "It's a deal! After moving100000 bricks, make clear the salary! "

45, the wonderful use of mobile phones in love: the boot is to wait for you, the shutdown is to avoid you, the shutdown is to forget you, and the number expires to forget forever!

46. Loneliness is a cigarette, and missing is a tear. In the misty smoke, I saw your handsome face, as if it were as touching as when we first met.

47. If allowed, I really want to forget you. But this will never be done? You have hugged my shoulder, and there is infinite tenderness in your eyes. Don't leave me, I need you.

48. Unforgettable love: After the storm, the rainbow and the second round appear, with deep feelings, no regrets, special liking, eternal unity, and life and death together.

49. I will always be by your side, letting you know that a stubborn heart is always waiting for you; You can't see the affectionate eyes behind me! You should be able to feel my burning heart.

50. Maybe people sometimes just use reason to control their feelings, instead of empathizing with others, just because love has changed its way and is hidden in the bottom of my heart.

5 1, the fate has dispersed, love is tonight; Don't seek wealth, just want to have; Countless days and nights, silently missing; The mountain stream finally returns to the sea; The dream lover will eventually be in his arms!

Even if time stops, even if life is like dust, if the world will eventually disappear, our love will never die.

I know I can't let go of your love. I'm too familiar with your care, and I can't bear to leave for a while. After separation, we may believe in love more!

Please give me a heart to keep my hopeless thoughts. I am wandering in a foreign land, no longer lonely, no longer lonely ... thank you for your love.

55. Gossip can't stop my love for you. Nonsense can't explain my love for you. Only by whispering can I get your love.

56. Accidental acquaintance, permanent yearning, just want to hold you in my arms, enjoy a moment of joy, occasional romantic indulgence, but only with loneliness.

If you are sad, please tell me and I will help you! If you are happy, you will infect me! If you smile happily, it will always be my face; If you are sad, it is always my heart.

58. The lover's tears are drunk drop by drop; Affectionate heart, a rub on the broken; There is no right or wrong in gathering and parting, and no one can tell right from wrong with gratitude and resentment. Anyone who drinks this cup of love will get drunk.

59. I never knew that parting would be so sad, missing so strongly, and loving you would make me so crazy. But I know in my heart: I only love you!

60. tossing and turning can't sleep. I miss you a thousand times. I hope you will show up soon. Think about your night, think about your day and look forward to the day when you come back.

6 1, I carefully put the past in my heart, lest time dilute it, leaving me nowhere to look, but I am afraid to approach and disturb your quiet sky.

62. I turned a corner in my dream and saw that wonderful time. Although you are not with me now, your figure exists in my heart.

63. Love is a plant. When sowing, who can think what kind of buds, flowers and fruits it will bear?

Finishing: zhl20 1704