Particularly funny sentences

1. I have three brothers, one is called Dongyan, one is called Xizui, and one is called Naner. What is my name?

2. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

3. Don’t always ask why others don’t want to talk to you or talk to you. Is it realistic that they don’t want to talk to you because they care too little about you? Do you believe it?

4. My emotions can be roughly divided into four categories: eating too much, sleeping too much, thinking too much, and spending too much.

5. You are irreplaceable and no one is as ugly as you.

6. In the past, letters between people and horses were very slow, and they could only love one person in their life. Now, with the advanced Internet technology, we can love fifty people a day.

7. If you have a look that only your mother will like, you will be doomed if you don’t work hard.

8. The ideal love is like this: withered vines and old trees, crows, fish and shrimp for dinner, heater, mobile phone and cantaloupe, the sun sets, you are ugly, nothing is wrong, I am blind!

9. When I buy a house in the future, I will definitely decorate the bedroom to look like a classroom, which will help me sleep!

10. Spending money is as easy as shit, making money is as hard as eating shit.

11. For those who did not receive my red envelope during the Chinese New Year, please do not doubt our relationship. I am just poor, and there is no problem in our relationship.

12. A broom can sweep the floor, but what can a mobile phone sweep? Of course, scan my QR code!

13. There is a kind of tacit understanding that makes you bear the scolding; there is a kind of harmony that makes me sit while you stand; there is a kind of friendship that makes me eat meat and you drink soup; there is a kind of blessing called Sending you text messages to make you happy.

14. No matter what kind of person you are, what kind of expression will I give you? You want me to pretend to please you, you are delusional.

15. Every time you measure your weight, if it is too light, you will say you have lost weight; if it is too heavy, you will say your breasts are bigger!

16. History is always surprisingly similar. I spent Valentine’s Day alone the year before last, I spent Valentine’s Day last year alone, and I will spend Valentine’s Day alone this year.

17. As the saying goes: If you laugh, the whole world will laugh with you; if you cry, you will be the only one in the world crying.

18. You can’t wake up someone who doesn’t reply to your message, but a red envelope can!

19. At our age, you must wear a safety helmet when driving an electric car, otherwise, you will be recognized by classmates driving BMW and Mercedes-Benz.

20. In this life, the earliest truth I understand is that people are iron and the bed is a magnet.

21. Recently a best friend asked me, how do I maintain such a good figure? I said of course it was running, and my best friend asked me very puzzledly, how do you persevere like this? I chuckled, relying on debt.

22. If you think there is something wrong with me, please tell me. I won’t change it anyway, so don’t hold it in and get sick.

23. Looking at a temple from a distance, we can see our alma mater up close. There are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

24. During the period when I am not with you, go home as soon as possible after going out. Don’t be too late. To be honest, there are always people stealing dogs at night. I am afraid that something will happen to you.

25. Many people often say that you don’t need to make more money to have enough money. But now I can't even make enough money.

26. How can people who have never reached the top have the right to say that they like the bottom?

27. Do you think that a person who often doesn’t chat with you suddenly wants to chat with you because he misses you? I tell you, purely to borrow money.

28. I always emphasize that you should be low-key, but you insist on giving me applause and screams.

29. We cannot extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: We can no longer grow taller, but we can gain unlimited fat.

30. After cutting my hair, the barber asked me how it was. I was silent for a while and said to him: As long as you are happy.

31. Life is like a play. Not only age but also acting skills increase with each passing day.

32. I have always liked you. I originally planned to sell my computer to buy you a gift today, but the network administrator refused and told me to get out.

33. Never regret anything, because it was once what you wanted.

34. Are there any scumbags? I want to fall in love with you, and hope that your sweet words will coax me into being crazy. Then you cheat on me, and I will be heartbroken. From then on, I will work hard and reach the top of my life.

35. Other people’s faces are 70% determined by nature and 30% by dressing up. Your face is 10% determined by nature and 90% by filters.

36. It is said that you must kiss the test paper before handing it out. This is called a stable pass.

37. Why do we buy clothes every year but have nothing to wear every year? Because you are getting more elegant every year, and the clothes you wore last year are not worthy of you now.

38. Men want to lock the zipper of a woman’s wallet, and women want to lock the zipper of a man’s pants.

39. You can’t even control what time you go to bed, yet you still want to control your life.

40. Everyone is like this: I don’t know where my love started, and it goes deeper and deeper; but I am different. I am like: I don’t know where my money is going, and I am completely penniless.

41. Just listen to me when I lose my temper. When it’s over, I will give in and show you.

42. I went to the barber shop tonight and the barber asked me what kind of haircut I wanted. I said I would cut it as handsome as I wanted, but the barber stood behind me for more than ten minutes and didn’t know what to do. .

43. With dead vines and old trees, crows, Coke and watermelon in the air conditioner, I lie on the sofa watching dramas, the sun sets, and my mood is so good.

44. As long as it is a stone, it will not shine anywhere, so stop struggling.

45. When I saw a beggar shaking money in a bowl at me on the street, I felt that he was provoking me and showing off his wealth to me.

46. Today’s Children’s Day, there are no candies and no games. I am the only one looking at the sky and reminiscing.

47. I want to live in your heart, but I didn’t expect it to be a community with many neighbors.

48. Every time when you want to eat too much, comfort yourself like this: Beauty or ugliness is up to fate, whether you are fat or thin depends on God, God wants me to be fat, so let God do it!

49. In a person's life, most meaningful things seem to be in vain.

50. I used to have a dog. When he got older, I looked into his eyes, which were full of reluctance and sadness. The day he died, I cried all night. Now I have raised a tortoise. When I die, he will still be alive. I want to leave my sorrow to the tortoise.

51. When I was a child, I didn’t dare to raise my hands to go to the toilet, so I told my classmate, but he raised his hands and shouted, “Teacher, he said he was in a hurry.”

52. I used to think that money could buy everything, but I later discovered that I didn’t have enough money.

53. When a man really falls in love with you, you will find: Hey! You have an extra father; when a man pretends to fall in love with you, you will find that you have an extra son, but he is still a rebellious son.

54. If it is not to let us get up in the middle of the night to explore for something to eat, why install a light in the refrigerator?

55. I read books at ordinary times because I have a thirst for knowledge, and I read before exams because I have a desire to survive.

56. I forgot to bring my mobile phone when I went out in the morning. When I came home at noon, my mobile phone displayed a text message from my mother: Son, you forgot to bring your mobile phone.

57. I don’t want to be affectionate, I just want to have money and have you. Of course, if I have money, I can do without you.

58. Come, I will pick you up in the storm. If you leave, five thunders will blast you away.

59. When I was a child, I didn’t like eating, which made me short now; now I like eating, which makes me fat and short. I hugged my fat self sadly.

60. Don’t think that the world has abandoned you as soon as you fall out of love. Don’t be stupid, the world has never needed you at all.

61. If you ask me how deeply I love you, money can represent my heart.

62. A sense of security is not given by others. It depends on how much you love yourself. You have enough food and clothing, your mobile phone has electricity, and your wallet is never flat.

63. I can stay up late with you, and I will also advise you to go to bed early, but the best situation is for us to sleep together.

64. Working hours are like Nanfu batteries, one battery is longer than six.

65. Love is as pitiful as the money in a bank card, but loneliness and desire are like loans that keep flowing automatically.

66. I just ate instant noodles, and I cried while eating them. There were people making instant noodles, but I didn’t.

67. Don’t envy others for their long legs and thin waist. Others don’t have your fat body and broad mind.

68. I originally planned to lose weight this year and become a lightning bolt that would blind your eyes. However, unexpectedly, I became fat and became a wall of nuts, blocking your sight.

69. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of skill. My ability is limited, but my skill is very high.

70. The best way to sleep in autumn is to blow on a fan and cover yourself with a quilt.

71. I am not a vain person. I hate villas, sports cars, brand-name bags, clothes and shoes. I only like money.

72. Being a human being is actually very simple. People's hearts change people's hearts. If you are real, I will be more real. If you are fake, I will turn around!

73. If marriage is the tomb of love, then blind date is to look at the feng shui of the tomb, confession is to dig one's own grave, marriage is to sacrifice one's love, falling in love is to move the tomb, and the third party is to rob the tomb.

74. Is anyone single? I would like to introduce myself to you. Singles Day is coming soon. I sell dog cages.

75. Brothers are siblings, women are clothes. Whoever touches my limbs, I will take off his clothes.

76. I used to think that I couldn’t find a handsome husband because handsome men are too easy-going. Now that I have matured, I feel that I shouldn’t find an ugly husband because ugly men are not only easy-going but also ugly!

77. After arguing with my girlfriend for more than an hour, I finally won my freedom and became a one-tone dog again.

78. There is a pit in your brain, there is water in the pit, there are fish in the water, and the fish are spitting bubbles.

79. When buying things, the store often says that if you really buy it, they can give you a cheaper price. You see, sincere things are not very valuable!

80. When comforting others, you use one set of ropes. When comforting yourself, you just want to find a rope and one set of ropes.

81. You are in my special care, but not among my recent visitors.