If you love someone too much, you will lose yourself

When mentioning Somerset Maugham, what most people immediately think of is his masterpiece - "The Moon and Sixpence". With its fascinating plot and impressive writing, this novel has become synonymous with Somerset Maugham.

However, as one of the most famous writers of the 20th century, Maugham, who wrote a lot throughout his life, could he only create one classic novel?

"Mrs. Craddock" is a pearl whose brilliance is obscured by the moon's limelight.

01

I don’t know how much courage a person must have to abandon everything to pursue dreams and distance, but I know that a girl must have tried her best to resist the secular world. The concept of family status, marrying a poor boy with nothing.

Bertha is the high-ranking eldest lady of the Ley House. Although the family has declined, the blood of the nobles flows in her body. Edward Craddock was just a tenant's son, a humble commoner.

But love never gives up because of the disparity in status. Bertha returned to her long-lost hometown of Kent, and met Edward, whom she had met several times before. His body as strong as a bull and his strong masculinity shot Cupid's golden arrow into her heart.

She fell hopelessly in love with Edward, and even ignored everyone's ladylike restraint and boldly expressed her love.

When Edward asked Bertha if she really liked him and pointed out the gap between herself and her, she shouted:

Bertha firmly believed that Edward was the only love in her life. With unswerving faith, she finally became Mrs. Craddock despite everyone's opposition.

Love is the vast ocean. She just dove in, not caring whether she would swim over or drown.

02

Bertha's love for Edward was almost blind, and she was willing to crawl at his feet and be his loyal servant.

During their honeymoon in London, Edward, who had an innocent appreciation for everything because of his ignorance, seemed to Bertha to be a child who was not contaminated by the evil elements of the civilized world.

Edward was moved to tears by the melodrama that he found interesting; he never tired of listening to the folk songs that he despised; but the statues that he praised were trash in his eyes.

Now, this kind of inequality is enough to destroy a relationship. But Bertha did not realize Edward's backwardness and feudalism. Instead, she hated the education she received in a foreign country and felt that knowledge was useless. A woman only needs to be pure and kind and have some cooking skills.

Knowing more about her husband not only did not make her love diminish, but instead became more passionate.

At this time, for Bertha, the center of the world only revolved around Edward. The book describes Bertha's feelings for her husband like this:

Bertha's love is like a dream, so beautiful that it seems to have no end.

03

Love can never have an end.

Conflicts began to emerge after marriage. Bertha loved her husband with all her heart and just wanted to be a puppy that followed him around. She gave up her former pride and only hoped to live for Edward and become his only one.

But Bertha was far less important to Edward than the cattle, sheep and crops on the farm.

When Bertha begged Edward to stay at home with her, Edward thought it was more important to buy sheep; when Bertha was not chirping around him like before, he thought it was because she was feeling unwell rather than angry. ; Bertha didn't take the initiative to kiss Edward before going to bed, and he didn't think there was anything wrong.

Their conflicts accumulated little by little, and Bertha's selfless devotion did not receive a warm response from her husband. Bertha was angry with her husband time and time again, but with a kiss or a word from her husband, the unpleasantness was easily wiped out. Sometimes, she even felt that she was being too unreasonable.

In love, there is always one giver and one receiver, and the giver is always at fault.

Bertha, who was noble, beautiful, well-educated, independent and proud, turned into a resentful woman.

The reasons for her unhappiness and depression were nothing more than her husband's unenthusiastic response and occasional jokes.

She completely turned herself into a man's vassal. Her love for her husband is a passionate and unrestrained flame, but Edward's love for her is just a gentle breeze on the Hawaiian beach.

The thought of her love not being reciprocated made her furious.

They had a heated argument, and she bluntly pointed out Edward's stupidity. She humiliated her husband with harsh words, and the next second she was afraid of losing her husband, so she quickly apologized and repented.

Just when Bertha was disappointed with this marriage, the arrival of her child restored her hope.

04

The book describes Bertha's love as a fire, a flame that can burn the rest of her life. But Edward's love, like a system, does not require passion, and his calm character cannot satisfy Bertha's burning passion.

Bertha realized that Edward did not love her and had never loved her. She felt that if it had been another girl who liked Edward at first, she would not be his wife now.

The children saved their faltering marriage. After Bertha became pregnant, Edward became tender, and Bertha felt happy and at peace as a result.

Edward bought a fierce horse at this time, a fierce horse that once caused Arthur to break his leg. Bertha was frightened by this and tried her best to dissuade her husband from riding the horse, but Edward was unmoved.

As the delivery date drew closer, Miss Glover mentioned death to Bertha. Bertha began to fear. She did not want to leave her husband, and even began to imagine her husband marrying another after her death. Then she began to have wild thoughts about what would happen if Edward died. , what should she do?

At this time, the nurse taking care of her told her about the horrific events of giving birth. Bertha was frightened, panicked, and kept imagining the pain that was about to come. She fell into dystocia during childbirth and eventually gave birth to a stillborn baby.

One of the most shocking scenes in the book is when Bertha did not know that the child was stillborn at the beginning. When she had just experienced a ordeal and was exhausted, she still tried desperately to squeeze out a smile when she saw her husband.

A woman must be so in love with a man that she will try her best to give birth to a child for him and want to show her best side in front of him.

When Bertha learned that the child was stillborn, she fell into extreme grief and began to linger on her sick bed. But she finally plucked up the courage and decided to cheer up, and she didn't allow her love to be overturned.

05

However, their relationship was exactly the same as before. Bertha, who kept arguing and begging her husband for forgiveness, finally decided to leave Edward temporarily.

For three years, she wrote to Edward again and again to express her thoughts. She begged her husband to go to London to visit her, but Edward did not.

She couldn't help but go home. Edward didn't come to pick her up. He was still busy attending friends' invitations as before.

When Bertha saw Edward three years later, who was out of shape and dressed casually, she found him disgusting. The masculine aura that made her intoxicated now made her tremble with disgust.

Even though her husband managed the farm successfully and even became a county councilor, she still felt that her husband was mentally barren and ignorant. She couldn't stand such a humble and ignorant Edward, so she found an excuse to travel around, and finally returned to London where her aunt settled.

She met her cousin Gerald, and the two fell in love, almost breaking through the moral barriers driven by lust. In the end, she almost left everything and ran away with Gerald, but she no longer had the courage to pursue love at all costs.

She returned to Rye House, and Edward went to the station to pick her up for the first time. Even when she was busy falling in love with Gerald and no longer wrote to her husband, Edward went to London to see her.

But none of this matters now. Edward's considerate treatment of her will never move her again. Bertha looked into her own heart and found no trace of emotion.

Edward finally died in the hands of a fierce horse that was difficult to obey, but Bertha no longer felt sad, but felt free.

He believed that Edward's only fault in this life was that she loved him but no longer loved him. After Edward died, she could actually sip tea and read a book calmly. The love she once thought was indestructible was too fragile to be attacked. Maugham said at the beginning of the novel, "This book can also be named "The Triumph of Love"", making love seem worthless.

When you devote everything to chasing love, you don't get what you want; when you have no desire for anything, you find your former self.

The victory of love, if you love it, you will lose; if you don’t love it, you will win. How ironic.

06

Most of the online book reviews lament that marriage must be well-matched, but I feel that the tragedy of Bertha's life does not come from the class gap itself. Perhaps the pressure exerted by outsiders and the husband's lack of enthusiasm had a slight impact on the tragedy.

But in the final analysis, she single-handedly contributed to her miserable life.

She regards love as the whole of life and lives a humble life in love. She overestimated her love for Edward and thought she would not be able to live without him. Love someone too much and end up losing yourself.

But her love for Edward is the most superficial, starting from the love of appearance. Many of the excellent qualities she summarized through observing Edward were formed on the basis of appearance.

The temptation of superficial appearance made her completely smitten. She is hopelessly trapped in the quagmire of love, or it may not be true love at all, but her self-obsessed dream.

Edward was no longer handsome, and the temporary separation diluted the passion. She found that she no longer loved him, but she could also fall in love with another person. So she felt disgusted for no reason by herself who had humbled herself to the dust for love.

Gerald moved away from home, Edward passed away unexpectedly, and both relationships had no ending. She finally found her former self.

It is actually very easy not to love someone. The deep love you once pursued will all come to nothing in the end.

The so-called love is just the loss when you love deeply and the sobriety when you don’t love.

Bertha's tragic life stems from believing in love too much, and love itself is not worthy of belief. The only one who is indestructible? It doesn't end with falling in love with someone else.

And the person you thought you loved most will eventually turn out to be someone you don’t love. The efforts made in the past seemed even more worthless.

Don’t love too much, don’t love deeply. If you don’t get lost, you won’t suffer pain and tears. Love will prove with practical actions that it is not the only one that is trustworthy.