What is the difference between a spare tire and a boyfriend? Everything is the same except that you can't bang. ...

Speaking of spare tires, in the past, people may think that this person is not sincere about love, and even accuse her of having an affair. But now, it seems that there is nothing to make a fuss about having a spare tire.

Some time ago, professors from Hope College and Indiana University conducted a survey. The results showed that 70% of college students had at least one spare tire, while singles had six spare tires on average, while people in love had five spare tires on average. Whether you are single or in love, you have to run six relationships at the same time on average!

Suddenly I feel that I am "dragging my feet" again. Is there wood? However, what is surprising is far more than these figures.

Do you think ambiguous objects other than formal lovers can be collectively called spare tires? Don't! Thanks to Zhihu Great God @ Cooper's literacy, I understand that the knowledge of spare tires is actually great.

Take women as an example:

If you have a boyfriend, but you are having an affair with other men around you, you have more friends than those in Not Enough Lovers. If you are unhappy, you can dump the incumbent at any time, and the other one can fill the position immediately. This is called a cold backup.

If you associate with two men at the same time, both of them think they are your real boyfriends, and they run independently and don't know each other. This is called dual-machine hot backup.

If your boyfriend doesn't give you enough sense of security, you talk about another boy who feels good in a distant place he doesn't know, but tell that boy that you don't have a boyfriend. Once we break up, that guy from another place can make up for it immediately. This is called remote disaster recovery backup.

If you have a boyfriend, but you entrust a matchmaking agency to pay attention to your good partner. Once you break up with your current job, the matchmaking agency can immediately arrange a new object for you to keep your relationship running uninterrupted. It's called, it's called cloud backup.

……

Of course, if we continue to subdivide, the types of spare tires will definitely be more than the above. After all, the brain power of the IT God is infinite. In the street interview, a sister's summary can be said to be very vivid:

If you are bullied by boys, you can find a spare tire to comfort you;

Usually I can accompany you to eat, chat and watch movies;

Except that you can't XXOO, the difference between a spare tire and a real boyfriend doesn't seem very big.

Sounds like a versatile person, neither a real boyfriend nor 99% of the functions of a real boyfriend. Why not do such a good thing? But the reality seems less optimistic.

No matter what kind of mentality, the spare tire does more harm than good to the present relationship. There is a joke on the Internet called "A broken car needs a spare tire". The tone is a little heavy, but the words are not rough. If the relationship is good, the existence of spare tire can't find any sense of existence except wasting your mind to maintain it; If the relationship is riddled with holes, it must be the problem of two people. Can a spare tire be used to save it?

The existence of a spare tire is just a placebo that "treats the symptoms rather than the root cause".

0 1

"Romance" once interviewed passers-by randomly on the question "Do you want a spare tire?" Judging from the number of people broadcast, only one person didn't want to find a spare tire, on the grounds that "having a man is enough trouble". The rest of the passers-by think that you should find a spare tire in love for various reasons:

"Of course, look for it, otherwise it will become someone else's spare tire";

"Who buys new shoes barefoot";

"There must be, not hanging from a tree";

"I don't want an empty window";

Some people even put forward the strategy of "universal selection and key training" to find spare tires;

To be honest, before I saw this interview, I always thought that most people were still secretive about the existence of "spare tires" and generally would not say it publicly. But now it seems that finding a spare tire seems to be the knowledge of people in love, and not finding a spare tire seems to be less mainstream.

In the talk show "Singing Every Night", the host gave another set of figures: 30% people will find a spare tire, and 80% spare tires know that they are spare tires. In other words, 80% spare tires are willing to be others' spare tires.

The program guests put forward their own views on this phenomenon:

In today's high-risk society and uncertain times, there are more and more unsafe factors and less and less trust between people. This is not just a case of a certain country, the more civilized the country, the more it will be. Everyone is only responsible for his own actions. He must actively choose and be chosen at the same time, and the most important thing is to be responsible for his own choices.

In other words, everyone is walking a tightrope.

For fear of falling too badly, people prefer to find a spare tire as a parachute before landing. But once landed safely, most spare tires have completed their "historical mission". So, she asked you for a spare tire not because something on you attracted her, but because she thought you could help her when she fell.

Most spare tires can only be spare tires in the end. She may depend on you, but she will never be with you.

Even so, if someone is willing to be a spare tire, it is also a loss. Just be happy.

02

Perhaps modern people's psychology is more fragile, and the blow after lovelorn seems to be greater than before, and the emotional window period that follows is even more painful for many people. In order to avoid the above pain, people began to look for spare tires. The problem is that many relationships are broken up because of finding a spare tire.

Imagine that if a girl has a spare tire when she is in love, she must take pains to maintain the existence of the spare tire, and her emotional investment in a serious boyfriend will naturally decrease; When her boyfriend does something for her, she will subconsciously compare it with the spare tire, and her boyfriend's original wholehearted behavior becomes boring in her comparison.

That is not the end of it. Once there is a problem in her relationship, she will think, "Anyway, I have a spare tire. If you are not good to me, you will break up." Therefore, it is very likely to start the "effort" mode, and the feelings that could have been saved will be destroyed.

Finally, she was lovelorn and lamented that she was lucky to have a spare tire, otherwise it would be even worse.

Because of the spare tire, she can't look at her current boyfriend with a peaceful attitude, and she can't really feel her boyfriend's heart, and she is even more unwilling to make more efforts for business relations.

To sum up, spare tires are not used to avoid risks, but love killers.

03

After the end of a relationship, it is bound to be an empty window of a relationship. At this moment, most spare tires will play a role. The question is, is the empty window of feelings really so unbearable? Would you rather find someone you don't love than reflect on yourself, or take the opportunity to improve yourself and accompany your family and friends?

For some people, it seems really difficult. They are usually inferior. Such people are actually very poor, because their sense of existence depends entirely on whether there is love around them.

Others, because they can't refuse to study, are indecisive and have a lot of spare tires passively. They always can't bear to refuse others' wishes, and they are used to vacillating between multiple objects. They didn't deliberately look for a spare tire, but inadvertently gave each other hope.

In the battle of love, there was such a couple. The girl has a bartender friend. My friend once confessed to the girl, but the girl didn't explicitly refuse or agree. Boys mistakenly thought there was hope, so they began to pursue girls more, and finally attracted the girl boyfriend to be angry, and they came to the brink of breaking up.

The girl confidently said to the host Tu Lei in the program: "If you face a person who is kind to you, you don't cherish him, but give him a brick. I don't think this is the truth of being a man. "

Tu Lei said to the girl, "The best way to cherish someone who likes us is to tell him the truth."

Many times, rejection is greater kindness, and your indecision is actually harming others and yourself.

Whether they can't stand the empty window period or they won't refuse, they are just paralyzing their weaknesses with spare tires. But in fact, every time you see the spare tire, he will remind you how weak you are. He never made you feel relaxed, but infinitely magnified these weaknesses.

Falling in love is not to put an end to all friends of the opposite sex, because those friends can change from "your friends" to "your friends". After all, no one wants to give up the whole world for a relationship and finally get a double bed.

We just don't want anyone else's shadow in the warm world of two people.

Only clean love can finally blossom and bear fruit.