Find a joke

The first time, a doctor pulled me out of the womb and suddenly fainted. A nurse fumbled with her eyes closed and stuffed me back. ...

After my second birth, everyone in the hospital hid in the morgue and cried. The dean smoked his mouth and blamed himself for being as blind as a bat. He shouldn't take over my business greedily. ...

Motherly love is great. She didn't abandon me and raised me, but he posted a picture of a skeleton on my face to relieve my psychological pressure. The mask accompanied me until I was ten years old.

At the age of eleven, when I was in the third grade, the whole class was the most curious and desperately wanted to see what I looked like behind the mask. A classmate named Li Dadan tore off my mask when I peed. Since then, Li Dadan has suffered from a strange disease, unable to speak, glassy-eyed, doing nothing all day, killing people without blinking, and crying as soon as he closes his eyes. ...

The headmaster reported to the education bureau, and the education bureau sent someone. Because all the students in the school have transferred, the principal can only eat half a bowl of porridge every morning, and the teacher's salary has not been settled for two months. ...

After the people from the Education Bureau saw me, the director immediately resigned and went to sea, causing a chain reaction, and educational institutions all over the country were dissolved one after another. ...

I was walking in the street, and people on the roadside were vomiting wildly. A group of pigs rushed up to me from behind, dressed me in red flowers, handed out trophies and gave me a certificate of commendation, which read: pig savior.

Next door, Pockmarked Liu's daughter-in-law wants to brag to him that his pockmarked face is disgusting and she has to leave! ! ! It happened that I went to their window. As soon as Pockmarked Liu's wife saw me, she stopped talking, took out the money and went to the insurance company to insure Pockmarked Liu's hemp. A pockmarked Liu is 10 thousand ...

Also alarmed the United Nations (? Why do you want to say it again? ), Annan is also at his wit's end and asked me to have plastic surgery, but it was useless. All plastic surgeons cried when they saw me, and nearly half of them went to a mental hospital, all with the same symptoms. They didn't say anything but one sentence: ugly ... the ugliest. ...

Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up and asked me to stand at the gate of the presidential palace to resist the siege of the Israeli army. I stood for a minute, the Israeli army retreated, Sharon was forced to resign, and the Palestinian nation rejoiced. But when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero, the Palestinian people couldn't find me with lanterns. ...

A writer came to me with tears in his eyes: When I was so old, my biggest dream was to get a Nobel Prize in Literature. Now the master is too powerful ... I have a unique skill. As long as I can write a book in front of you, I will definitely win the prize! ! !

I don't believe it. He stayed with me for a week and wrote a five-million-word novel, Seven Days in Hell. As a result, he even won the Nobel Prize in Medicine. ...

Nobel headquarters announced that if the whole world can find words to describe my face, it will win the literature prize. As a result, all writers switched to buying pork, and Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared from the scene. ...

The National Football Association specially recruited me to join the team, hoping to really rush out of Asia. In the World Cup, China didn't concede a goal, and every game was 12:0. After playing football, we had a picnic on the lawn. I was alone in front of the goal BBQ, and the opposing players, including the goalkeeper, vomited on the ground, and the referee even pulled out a red card.

Of course, our players are also cultivated by the devil step by step. First look at my photos, then look at my photos of eating, and then play football. ...

The World Cup will stay in China forever, and foreign media commented that I am the incarnation of the devil.

At the beginning of the world lying contest, players of all races boasted for the first time. I went on stage and won the championship in just three words, and I kept the title forever. I said, I'm not ugly.

I cried at night, looked at the moon and asked softly, me, is it nice? A white object landed gently on the moon. I picked it up and saw that it was a small white rabbit trampled to death by Jiuyin's white bone claw. ...

I shouted at the sky: God, am I the ugliest?

The sky suddenly began to rain cats and dogs and fell on me. I touched it, and it was all vomit. ...

I left this world and went to that old castle. I asked the mirror: mirror, mirror, who is the ugliest in the world? The mirror burst into tears and committed suicide. ...

God forbid, why did you give birth to me?

I held a grudge and died of depression. Who knows, that terrible man forgave me and sent me back to earth. ...

So I wandered around the world, having nothing to do, playing online and wanting to chat, so I applied for QQ number. Who knows ... The system prompts: because of your disgusting face (please forgive me, my literary level is not high, I can only explain this), our company will never provide you with the number. ...