Do you respond to what others say that embarrasses you?

"Why are you dark again?"

"Your hunchback is very serious."

"You have bad skin/a lot of pimples on your face/your face is so yellow."

"You are so flat."

"Your legs are so thick."

"You have very little hair."

"Where are your eyebrows?"

"You are too fat."

"This dress/shoe is so ugly."

......

You should have received at least one of these embarrassing words. If you haven't said a word, you must be very beautiful and everyone you know is very cultured. Growing up, I have heard most of these words myself, and there are other words that embarrass me.

0 1

Very concerned and hurt

I will be particularly angry when I hear these words from others at first. Either secretly angry "bear a grudge", or think of the worst thing at that time and say it. You want me to be unhappy, and I want you to be unhappy.

It is very uncomfortable to think of this sentence unintentionally afterwards, or to feel inferior or hate it, especially when it is said in a crowded situation, which makes me particularly embarrassed at that time.

The most sensitive time to this kind of words is the second day of junior high school. When I first entered junior high school, it was less than 1.5 meters. In Class 2, many girls have become big girls, with slender bodies and gentle curves. By contrast, I am short and thin.

I am often called short. Even if I say a lot, I still feel bad every time I hear it. Especially at that time, my best friend grew taller and taller, and sometimes he liked to wear high heels. I walked beside her, getting shorter and shorter, feeling more and more inferior.

One day at the door after school, a tall boy in the class smiled and said that I was so short. I replied to him at that time, "Then you are better than you, and your IQ is low."

Because I am a study committee member in junior high school, my grades have been relatively good. And that boy has been sitting in the last row, and his grades are often at the bottom of the class. Seeing that he stopped talking, I felt that I was the winner and left proudly.

But the fact is not which side won, but that both of them were hurt by the other side, and the relationship may gradually alienate.

In this way, I may eventually become a neurotic, sensitive and inferior girl. I may hurt many people and lose many good friends in the process of ignoring others' feelings.

02

change of heart

When I found that I couldn't avoid hearing such hurtful words, I began to adjust myself. Change my mind. What should I do if someone says that about me next time?

First of all, I understand that there are two kinds of people who say these embarrassing things. One is that malice makes you uncomfortable, and the other is a joke between friends. No offense, but maybe you are a little fat, that's what he said.

The best way to embarrass you with the first kind of malice is to laugh it off. Their purpose is to make you uncomfortable and unhappy.

The little woman said, it's not bad to be furious when you encounter something irritating, but it's not good to be able to restrain your anger and keep calm. In this way, the other party will be more angry because they didn't hurt you.

Secondly, sometimes the speaker himself is not malicious, and they don't realize that it has done you great harm.

This is a harmless joke. Why take it seriously and say something mean and sharp to hurt them? And what they said is really an objective fact.

It's like drawing water between classes in high school. A boy said to me, "You seem to have gained weight." I smiled and said, "Thank you." He froze, probably didn't expect me to say thank you. If it were me, I might say something ridiculous, "You are fat, and your whole family is fat."

Of course, when I get back to my seat, I can't help thinking, am I really fat? Need to lose weight?

This is another advantage of hearing these words, that is, self-motivation.

People say I'm short, so I look up all kinds of ways to grow taller online, choose a few ways to practice and stick to it. Drink more milk and do more exercise.

I stopped cycling to school in the late third grade. I walk to school for about half an hour every day and go back and forth four times a day. Occasionally, I met a classmate riding a bike on the road and took a ride. Constantly give psychological hints and believe that you can grow taller.

On the third summer vacation, I exercised for an hour or two every night, and my face was flushed when I came back from outside. Whenever I am tired and don't want to persist, I think of those words that say I am short. These words are so kind at the moment, constantly providing me with energy in my heart.

In high school, the height was stable at 1.62 meters. Although I am not very tall, few people call me short. Now I thank all the people who once called me short.

Some of these shortcomings mentioned by others can be changed, and some cannot be changed no matter how hard you try. But even if you can't change it, you can still turn it into your own motivation.

It is precisely because others constantly remind themselves of their shortcomings that they should strive to become better. Some things can't be changed, so I will change what I can.

There is no gold without barefoot, and no one is perfect. And advantages can help others ignore your shortcomings. Thank these people for reminding you constantly, making you more aware of your own shortcomings and working harder.

Think about it this way. For those who said I was embarrassed at that time, I would like to thank them as well as thank them. Because they will be my motivation in the future and one of the most direct motivations for me to get better in an all-round way.

In addition, I found a very interesting thing when I went to college.

Some people have their own shortcomings and are often laughed at. When others have similar shortcomings, they will seize the opportunity to make fun of others. I understand this as an "emotional catharsis".

They seek inner balance by laughing at others, so as to alleviate their injuries caused by this shortcoming.

Just like some girls are not plump, they are always teased by people around them intentionally or unintentionally. I am also very upset, but when I find a girl around me thinner than her, I will attack that girl. However, when she said this, she would also remind everyone of her own shortcomings.

I developed this "similar shortcoming" and found it reasonable. Is that everyone will be said by others. When told of these shortcomings, especially physical shortcomings, listeners often feel more uncomfortable.

This kind of negative emotion is fermented in the heart, and when you see other people's shortcomings, you will say it. Because I've been treated like this.

From this behavior that makes others feel uncomfortable, we can get a "sense of revenge" and feel very comfortable.

With this in mind, I sympathize with those who say these things. It's like saying, "It must be very bitter for you to speak so viciously."

I think, if they can get happiness from it, then they will say that I am fine. I don't care so much about these words, and they won't make me feel bad. On the contrary, they will feel better.

Of course, I have many shortcomings both physically and psychologically. Sometimes when I hear people say that I have "poor skin" and "no eyebrows", my first emotional reaction is still a little sad. But I can adapt quickly. This is me.

I am very satisfied with my height. Although I have less hair, the color is beautiful. Many people have asked me if my hair is dyed. At that time, I will be very happy. Sometimes I will tell him naughtily, "Yes, I dyed it in my mother's womb."

Although my figure is not very good, the most important thing is that I am healthy! I already have so many advantages. If it is too perfect, it is unfair to others.

I can't help laughing at the thought. Each of us is an apple with a bite from God. Everyone has shortcomings and advantages. If someone reminds you of your shortcomings and makes you feel uncomfortable, think about your own advantages. Don't rush to deny that you don't have advantages, everyone has advantages!

03

Cut sb. some slack

Everyone has shortcomings and difficulties, so why not be considerate of each other?

It's easiest to reply to what others say that makes you embarrassed. The reason is also very simple, because everyone has shortcomings. Most of us are not stars or models.

You call me fat, I call you flat.

You say my legs are thick, and I say you have no waist.

You said I was ugly, I said you were so beautiful, so you should pay attention to your personal safety day and night.

......

Do you think it's impeccable that you laugh at others or just make a good joke? Just because others don't say it doesn't mean you are perfect. I just don't want to upset you. This reflects the difference in cultivation between people.

In the shackles of life, Philip has a disabled foot. The woman he loved once said a lot of ugly things after falling out with him. When she left, she stood at the door and poured all her malice into two words. She maliciously called "the lame". She knew that these two words hurt Philip.

Philip is naturally sad, but in fact this woman has a lot of shortcomings. Philip is a gentleman. He didn't say these words to hurt her.

Words are far more lethal than weapons, one is sad and the other is hurtful.

My heart is hurt, and it is difficult to recover to its original integrity.

You may think, I understand others, so why have others ever understood me? Maybe not, then think for yourself.

If someone says something embarrassing to you, just reply. But disaster comes from the mouth. I don't know that the people around you who used to be insignificant may be your boss tomorrow, making you stumble everywhere in your work. It's easy to hold grudges. When you say him, he may have a bad temper at that time, smiling on the surface and giving you little shoes behind his back.

Furthermore, for a malicious person, you seem to have made a strong counterattack, but this counterattack is actually helping him and becoming his motivation.

04

Summary and message

When faced with what others say unintentionally or maliciously or well-intentioned, actively change your mind, and don't let it always affect your happy mood.

1. They may be harmless, but they are just telling objective facts.

2. Let others vent their emotions and help others vent.

3. Be your own motivation and motivate yourself to become better.

4. Look for your own advantages, not too perfect.

In the face of embarrassment, should I return? What should I do?

It is suggested that when you are in a good mood, smile and say "thank you" to them. Returning may hurt a friend's heart, leave a curse for yourself in the future, or indirectly help someone who embarrassed you.

Finally, I end with a sentence from The Chains of Life.

-What are you living for?

I think it is my duty to give full play to my talents and avoid hurting others.