20 17 classic works selection recommendation

The material of jokes comes from reality, but it is more exaggerated than reality. I'll share some classic jokes with you. I hope you like them.

A collection of classic jokes (humor)

1 The youth cried to the master: Master, I failed in the college entrance examination and couldn't go to college. My parents scolded me and my girlfriend left me. Please accept me and convert me to Buddhism! ? Seeing that the master took out a stack of college entrance examination materials, the young man suddenly realized: Didn't the master tell me not to give up the college entrance examination and fight again next year? The master shook his head and said, benefactor, we only recruit undergraduate students or above here, so you'd better come back for an interview after being admitted to the undergraduate course! ?

In Chinese class, teacher: Excuse me, Xiao Ming? If every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will send you an ocean? Do an imitation sentence exercise!

Xiaoming: If each flower represents a blessing, I will send you a wreath!

In an instant, the whole class is sensational! ! !

Teacher: Go, go, go now! ! !

When I was 3 years old, my mother told me more than once that one kiss would get pregnant and the other kiss would get pregnant. As a result, my cat jumped up to grab the meat and kissed me on the mouth. A few months later, it gave birth to three kittens. Out of a sense of responsibility, if I had a bite of meat to eat, I wouldn't let those three kittens be vegetarian!

It is said that when a daughter finds a boyfriend, her parents will feel sad that the cabbage they have worked so hard to grow has been arched by pigs. But since my brother found a girlfriend, he didn't even come back to live at home. Every day his mother-in-law cooks good food for him, and he is full of happiness. Mom 45? The horn looked up at the sky and said, I wonder if the cabbage is arched. Anyway, the pig that has been raised for more than 20 years must have been lost. . . ?

When Liu Er's macaque came to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures, only Tang Priest could tell the truth about the Monkey King. The Tang Priest said:? I want to eat peaches for my teacher. ? The two monkeys hesitated and turned into peaches. Suddenly the Tang Priest shouted:? Bajie, help me with that kiwi! ?

The teacher calls Xiaoming outside the classroom.

Teacher:? Your homework is getting worse and worse. What happened?

Xiaoming:? Teacher, shall I find out the reason and tell you this afternoon?

Teacher:? All right! ?

In the afternoon, the teacher called Xiao Ming outside the classroom again. Teacher:? Did you find the reason?

Xiaoming:? Yes, my grandfather said that homework is getting more and more difficult, and he can't help it. ?

Teacher:? Get out! ?

A man asked: If the rope broke during bungee jumping and you were about to fall off the cliff, what would you say if you were asked to say only three words? Someone replied: help me, grass mud horse, I'm dying. . . Something like that At this time, a great god silently replied: somersault cloud. . . Spike the audience!

When I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time, my second-rate girlfriend kept praising her mother's cooking, and I smiled and echoed how delicious all kinds of dishes were. Suddenly my girlfriend said:? Do you know how my mother tied my father at home? Absent-minded, I said: With a dog chain?

Classic Works Series (Philosophy)

1, a young man went to apply for a job, picked up a piece of paper in the corridor and put it in the trash can, which was seen by the passing examiner and got the job.

Feeling: It turns out that it is very simple to get appreciation. Just form good habits.

2. There is a shop that is always brightly lit. Someone asked: What kind of lamp is used in your shop, which is so durable? The shopkeeper replied:? Our lights often break down, so we just need to replace them often. ?

Feeling: The original method of keeping bright is very simple, as long as it is updated frequently.

3. A little brother is an apprentice in a bicycle shop. Someone sent a broken bike, and my brother not only repaired it, but also polished it as good as new. Other apprentices laughed at him for being redundant. The day after the owner took the bike back, my little brother was poached to work in his company.

Feeling: It turns out that getting ahead is very simple, just be diligent.

4. A child said to his mother: Mom, you are so beautiful today. ? Mother asked: Why? The child said:? Because mom is not angry today. ?

Feeling: It turns out that having beauty is very simple, as long as you don't get angry.

There was a rancher who told his children to work hard on the ranch every day. His friend said to him, you don't need to make the children work so hard. The crops will grow well. ? The rancher replied:? I'm not cultivating crops, I'm cultivating my children. ?

Feeling: It turns out that it is very simple to train a child, just let him suffer.

6. Frog living in the field: It's too dangerous here. Come and live with me. ? The frog on the roadside said, I'm used to it and I'm too lazy to move. ? A few days later, the frog in the field went to visit the frog on the roadside, only to find that it was run over by a car and its body was on the roadside.

Feeling: The original method of mastering fate is very simple, just stay away from laziness.

7. When a chicken hatched, a turtle happened to pass by, and since then, the chicken has been carrying eggshells for a lifetime!

Feeling: In fact, getting rid of the burden is very simple. Don't simply imitate, just give up stubbornness and prejudice.

8. A tennis coach said to the students. If a tennis ball falls into the haystack, how should we find it? Someone said:? Start from the center line of the haystack. ? Someone said:? Start from the deepest part of the haystack. ? The coach said, step by step, search from one end of the grass to the other. ?

Feeling: The original way to find success is very simple. Count from one to ten, don't try to find a shortcut.

9. There is a gold panning team walking in the desert. Everyone is trudging and miserable. Only one person is walking happily. Others asked:? Why are you so comfortable? He said with a smile, because I brought the least things. ?

Feeling: It turns out that happiness is very simple, just a little less.

10, where is the glory of life? Wake up in the morning, face lit up, smile to meet the future; At noon, glory is on the waist, standing upright and living in the present; At night, glory is at your feet. Be yourself in a down-to-earth manner.

Feeling: Life is simple, too. As long as you know how to cherish and let nature take its course, you will have the glory of life.

Classic works series (emotional category)

When one day we are old, will our memories fade?

Growing up in the thorns of years has broken the wings of dreams.

Touching is only a moment of beauty, and lost love is irreparable.

There is sadness behind the pale smile.

Smiling just hides the pain behind it.

Feelings are usually based on money.

The most cruel thing is not separation, but that we are deeply in love but can't be together.

After all, it was nothing before that.

Love without personality. Just like his. Forget it when you get it.

Life is like a play, and often the final point is the ending of the play.

Don't wait for me to disappear before you know I exist.

An era that loves you and breaks up casually, tell me what the fuck true love is.

Recalling happiness, breaking up is as false as illusion.

Women should not have a good memory. The more memories, the less happiness.

Habit is habit, and no one can throw it out of the window.

Forget everything, should be the best choice.

The smile on the corners of the mouth can't hide the humbleness of life.

You gave me the beginning of the story, but you didn't write the ending with me.

Many people don't need to meet again, because they are just passing by.

I don't know why my heart hurts so much. Maybe you caused everything.

I am a flower with a dazzling appearance and a decadent heart.

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