Are there any interesting English jokes? Can speak for about two minutes! Urgent need!

A man went to church and started talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Four best friends met in the hospital because their wives were having a baby. The nurse came up to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men are like, "Well, strange, I'm the director of three musketeers." Finally, the nurse walked up to the third person and said

"Congratulations, you have twins x2." The man was very happy and said, "Ironically, I work for a hotel" for four seasons. "All three of them were happy until they saw their last partner jumping around, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work for 7-up!

Four good friends met in the hospital, and their wives were having a baby. The nurse came to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men like it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I .. you got two pairs of twins. " The man said happily, "That's ridiculous. I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as ants on hot bricks, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work in 7-up! "

Hehe, one is more efficient than the other.

Canadian Osama bin Laden and President Bush were walking in the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it, and an elf came out and said, "I will grant everyone one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I hope the soil in Canada will be fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama looked surprised, so he wanted to build a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush said, "Tell me more about this wall, Genie," and the Genie said, "It is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! !

Osama bin Laden, Canadians and President Bush were walking down the street and saw a golden lamp. They wiped the lamp and an elf appeared. The genie said, "I want to grant each of you one wish, three in all." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer, so I want to make the land in Canada fertile forever." The elf said a spell and his wish came true. Osama was surprised when he saw it. He wants a wall around Afghanistan. The genie said a spell and his wish came true again. President Bush asked, "Genie, please tell me about this wall." The genie replied, "The wall is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing inside can get out and nothing outside can get in." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a bridge ... full of water! ! ! "

My child swallowed a bullet.

Young mother: "doctor, my baby swallowed a bullet." What should I do?

Doctor: "Don't let him point at anyone."

notes

1. Swallow a bullet.

Step 2 point: aim ...

It means to experience it yourself:)

allybaby

Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?"

Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"