Joke Apple

An American, a Japanese and a Japanese were exploring in the jungle. They were all caught by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today and I won't eat you." But you will all be hit by hundreds of boards. But before you hit the board, you can realize a wish.

"Americans were the first to be hit by a board. He said, "Before being hit by a board, put 10 cushions on my ass. "Pad, the board is raining, and the previous 70 boards are ok. The cushion behind the 70 board was smashed, and then the board was bloody ... After the fight, the United States always left by touching its ass.

When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 65,438+0,2,3 ... 65,438+000, they get up, pat their ass, and they'll be fine. Then he bragged about his ability to imitate and recreate with his mouth open, and wanted to sit and watch China's plays.

China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat."

2, marksmanship

Americans, British, China and Japanese discuss their own military affairs together.

The Japanese said, "We advocate Bushido and are not afraid of sacrifice. I dare to hold the apple on my head and let you test your marksmanship. " So he put an apple on his head. The American turned and walked back 20 steps, then turned with a gun. The apple was smashed, he said proudly. I'm Hunter.

The Japanese put another apple on his head. The Englishman turned and walked back 50 steps, then turned back with a gun and the apple was blown up. He proudly said, I'm Bond.

The Japanese put a small apple on their heads. China turned back three steps, then turned around and got shot, and his head was blown off. He said proudly, I'm sorry 3 is flying.

There are an American, a German, a Japanese and a China on a plane. The plane suddenly ran out of gas during the flight. The captain announced that someone had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight, so the American used his personal heroism to go to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live America and other countries! ! Then I jumped!

The plane continued to fly. . . . . At this time, the captain announced: the weight is still too heavy, and one person has to jump! So the Germans stood up, walked to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too

The plane continued to fly. . . . . At this time, the captain announced: no, it's still heavy, and one more person must jump! China glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the hatch of the plane. The Japanese rushed to hold China's hand: Good brother, I won't forget you! China people shouted: Long live People's Republic of China (PRC)! ! Then I kicked the Japanese down with one foot! !

4, the magic bottle

An American, a Japanese and a China are walking in the endless desert in rags. Suddenly a bottle appeared and three people opened it. A puff of smoke from the bottle turned into a fairy. The fairy said to them kindly, "Hello, I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes.". Who said first? "

The American said, "I'll talk first. . . . . . My first wish is to give me a lot of money. " The fairy realized his first wish. The American said, "My second wish is to have a lot of money." The fairy realized his second wish and asked him, "What is your third wish?" "My third wish is to go home!" The fairy sent the Americans home.

The Japanese went on to say, "My first wish is to give me many beautiful women." The gods endowed him with many beautiful women. "My second wish is to have many beautiful women." The fairy gave him many beautiful women. "What about your third wish?" "Take me home!" The fairy also sent the Japanese home.

Ask China people: "What is your first wish?" China people said, "Give me a bottle of Erguotou." The immortal realized the first wish of China people. Q: "What's your second wish?" "Give me another bottle of Erguotou", and the fairy fulfilled the second wish of China people. Q: "What is your third wish?" China people thought for a moment and said, "I miss Americans and Japanese very much. Please call them back. " Americans and Japanese returned to the desert.

The three men walked on and found another bottle, so they opened it again. A puff of smoke from the bottle turned into a fairy. The fairy said, "I am the younger brother of the fairy you met before." My magic is not as high as his. I can only give you every two wishes. Who said first? " Americans and Japanese are afraid of being called back by China again, and they shout: "China people say their wishes first."

The fairy looked at the Chinese, and the China people said, "My first wish is to give me a bottle of Erguotou." The fairy satisfied him. Q: "What about your second wish?" China said, "I want nothing more. Go ahead. " The fairy disappeared.

Americans and Japanese looked at each other, speechless. The three men walked on, and then they found another bottle. When they opened it, another fairy appeared. The fairy said, "I am the younger brother of two immortals you met in front of me." My magic is not as high as theirs. I can only grant each of you one wish. Who said first? "

As soon as the voice fell, Americans and Japanese shouted at the same time, "Tell China people to go home! ! "China people went home, and only Americans and Japanese hugged each other and wept.

5, than wine

The American first took out his proud XO and let the mouse drink it. The mouse ran for a while and then passed out. The Japanese laughed at America for taking out the famous sake. As soon as the mouse drinks it, the mouse gets drunk. Americans are a little humiliated, and the Japanese gloat. China took out the famous Erguotou and gave it to the mouse. After drinking, the mouse ran back to the hole and nothing happened. Americans and Japanese are confused. Is China Erguotou the same as water? Just as they were wondering, the mouse rushed out with a brick and shouted, "Where's the cat?"

Step 6 play with monkeys

In order to make China say that he is better than Americans, the Japanese deliberately said in front of China that "Americans are not good!" The people of China followed suit and said, "Worse than the Japanese devils!" The Japanese smiled and said, "Do you think it's our bank or the American bank?" China people said, "Of course? Why else would the American army guard your door? You Japanese can be like monkeys! " The Japanese were overjoyed, and the China people went on to say, "Americans can't do anything but play monkeys!"