Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - Non-mainstream classic quotations, many thin people, fat people are beautiful.

Non-mainstream classic quotations, many thin people, fat people are beautiful.

It is said that people have only two choices, either get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death.

2. Ride the tortoise and touch the wire, pulling the wind and lightning all the way.

If it's wrong to have money, I'd rather make the same mistake again.

4. The toilet must be very bright, in order to enjoy the fun of going to the toilet.

You can't laugh at your mobile phone at home, and your parents will think you are in love.

6. Growing up, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to study.

7. Everyone praised me for being virtuous and idle.

8. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

9. Youth is running wildly, and then falls down gorgeously!

10, you have never been lovelorn once, and you don't even know how cheap you are!

1 1, saying that money is evil and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

12. Bus congestion is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.

13, it's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end being single.

14 What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

15, after studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

16, my advantages are: handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

17, I am also a spoony seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

18, many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but it is better to be buried underground than to die in the street.

19. Learn Feng Shui when you have time. Building a good tomb after death can make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house before death.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

2 1. People who can pretend are not necessarily black-bellied, but people with black bellies will definitely pretend.

22. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture.

23. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

24. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this. ...

25. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

26. Why is life short? Eat, drink and gamble.

27. If you don't talk to me again, I will become a dog.

Keitel, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?

29. There are many thin people, but fat people are beautiful.

Never underestimate a creature that won't die even if it bleeds for a week a month.

3 1, not that I don't want to lose weight, but I'm afraid of rebounding.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.

33. Rome was not built in a day, and the three layers of the lower abdomen were not built in a day.

34. The rule of success: read more books, read more newspapers, eat less snacks and sleep more.

35. If you are one inch higher than the wall, I will move the wall one inch; If you are one foot higher than the wall, I will move the wall ten feet.

36. If $3,000 is just sadness, I think the Pacific Ocean is my paradise.

37. Money is the last word. Look at money and make progress.

38. Husband can only change his life, and knowledge can change his destiny!

39. All the food you waste will be blocked on your way to heaven.

40. The wife is a tree, and the lover who can never hold it is a bird. Never feed it.

4 1, I want to ascend to heaven, but I can't find the elevator.

42. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, and winter is just a deep sleep.

My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

44. Some girls have the same house price. Only when you look back, do you know that it was wrong not to start.

45. I think it is a kind of hooliganism for girls to say that they are cold when they are lonely!

46. My ideal is simple: to have the body of Monkey and live the life of Bajie!

47. I feel uncomfortable when I drink water. When I feel sick, I have a stomachache. I drink water when I have a stomachache.

48. So you know Kung Fu, that's all. Use the trick quickly, it's not high enough to reach.

49. Traveling means going from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

Sad non-mainstream classic quotations

1, for the dragon, it is not only a love, but also a lifelong dependence.

2. When you are alone, tears will still fall in disappointment.

3, love songs are like games, every sentence is in the play, but it is too virtual.

4, a lot of memories, knowing that I am sad, but I still can't let go.

I don't like what others owe me, let alone what others owe me.

6. The total score of lovers is on and off, but we are drifting away.

It doesn't matter if you don't care about me, just let me care about you.

Please don't wake me up, I'm afraid I can't see you when I open my eyes.

Don't be sad, girl, there is always someone waiting for you there.

10, you never belonged to me, let alone lost anything.

1 1 Finally, the person I love is not the one who loves me.

12, no matter what the world looks like, the distance between us and the temple is different.

13, sadness is waiting in the rain, let's hold hands here.

14, I want someone to understand me, even if I didn't say anything.

15, whether it is true or not is not that important.

16. Meeting the right person in the right place is the real happiness.

17, Tears is a gift you mailed to me, and the address is not very happy.

18, I admit that I am jealous, I am jealous that you have given her too much love.

19, a person hiding in an empty corner, counting the sadness you gave.

20. If that is your love, I can't bear it.

2 1, at least cherish me, maybe this miss is forever.

22. Dreaming about dream of eating spaghetti, I woke up in the morning and found my shoelaces gone!

23. I just don't want to quit at sixes and sevens, so I have to choose to leave silently.

24. Looking at everything calmly in excitement will save a lot of trouble.

25. You make me feel that our relationship is more than that. But it's the only way.

I want to tell you that I love you, and no one can replace this love.

27. Memories can't touch our past, and time has faded away from our present.

28. I don't know when we get used to the habits we shouldn't.

29. As soon as youth is over, those childish loves will be relieved.

30. Memory is like a ghost. It is self-deception to say that I don't hate you.

3 1, since I have a sitting toilet, my mother is no longer worried that I will fall into the toilet.

I've always been here, but you don't know I'm waiting for you.

33. Waiting is not for you to come back, but for an excuse not to leave.

34. Time has diluted our promises, and beautiful wounds outline the past.

35. Too many unforgettable things are too heavy, and then they begin to become complicated and irritable.

I'm glad that I can walk on the first strange street with your memory.

37. I cried and laughed when I was a child. Grown up, laughed and cried.

38. I opened the drawer and dug out the mottled old camera. The photos in the lens can only be the past.

39. You are beyond my imagination, and I am beyond your imagination.

You look like an idiot on the left, a fool on the right, a pig above and a donkey below.

4 1, hovering between forgiveness and despair, the only feeling is hurt!

42. The summer engraved in my memory is the tears we shed together in the sun.

43. The most powerful people in the world are those who can live alone.

44. It's not too late to try to be the person you like.

I always feel that you don't love me as much as before, but I love you more and more.

46. Besides liking, any other reason for getting married is to cover your ears.

47. I bear the pain of the wound alone, but I can't bear to let go.

48. There are not so many simple ifs in this world. Not loving is not loving.

49. I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and insisted on separating us.

50. Why do you want to prove something to people who are not worth it? Live better for yourself.

Non-mainstream classic quotations come from

1, love is like playing basketball, with attack and defense, and sometimes fake action!

2. Without hard work, comrades, the revolution must still be successful.

The only way to get happiness is to cherish what you have and forget what you don't have.

I am even more afraid of seeing such a bottomless funeral under his eyes.

Even if there is no distance, love is a long-distance race.

6. Don't think that you can walk away easily and come back easily. My sister is not so broad-minded.

7. Those things that remind us of our life are just things that we want to have but can't have.

8. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

9. Dating is a time when a couple show unprecedented superb acting skills.

10, pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

1 1. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to make you end it.

12, brother is not Baidu, don't ask me everything!

13, I am not wrong, but I have never been right!

14. We will know tomorrow the day after tomorrow.

15, I hate that my surname is not Li, and I hate that my father is not straight.

16, having a "gang" at home is better than a wealthy businessman.

17, you are the wind, I am the sand, you don't love me, I commit suicide!

18, if life is a one-way ticket, I will kill it!

19, life is too hard. In order to master one more eating skill, I am practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

20. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card.

2 1, I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

22. The brain is the noblest organ-because it tells you.

23, the wind is very strong, blowing the face, the sun is shining, the heart is very quiet, enjoy.

24. Doing all ordinary things well is extraordinary, and doing all simple things right is not simple.

25. If you can't dress the woman you love, please stop your unbuttoning hand.

26. Don't say that other people's brains are sick. The premise of brain disease is that you must have a brain.

27. After meeting me, you will suddenly find out. So handsome can be so single-minded!

28, listen to your words, from the southeast branch.

29. I have been reluctant to tell you. I've always had a feeling that we can't be apart in this life.

30. Loneliness is the physical feeling and loneliness is the mental state.

3 1, I am not a customer service staff, and you have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

32. The person in the dream wakes up and goes to find him.

33. If it is a long insole face, don't step on it.

34. Try not to make any noise if you can.

Laugh at non-mainstream classic quotations

Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

I want to dedicate this book to my brilliant wife, without whom I will accomplish nothing. She comforted me when I was in pain; When I failed, she gave me confidence. She never complains, never interferes with my career, never gets to the bottom of it, and never makes wild comments. She always bears the hardships of life silently ... (Author's Note-Special thanks to his wife for preface to this book)

I pretend to work for the boss, and the boss pretends to pay me.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I have no chance to interrupt her.

5. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

6. I never watch TV. I just often check whether the TV programs in the newspaper are printed wrong.

7. Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, the first day; Fifteen points.

8. Why don't you be rational? My uncle is here. Why did you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

9. My eyesight is very poor. For example, see the thumbtacks on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

10, every day I keep setting a new world record-the number of days I live in the world.

1 1, Shop Assistant: Miss, all your ten hundred-dollar bills are counterfeit.

Pretty girl: Ah! I was raped!

12 customer: I paid the same price. Why is the steak given to me yesterday big and tender, but the steak given to me today is small and old?

Attendant: Because you were sitting by the window yesterday.

13, thief a: count how much money you robbed today?

Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

14. In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman. It's painful, but you have to accept it.

15, your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself at once in case you get shot more.

16, if you want to compete with tigers who can starve to death more, you win.

17, I pinned the TV remote control to my waist, making it look like I bought a new mobile phone.

18, money alone can't make people happy, so I also stole some jewelry, stamps, watches and so on.

19, tourist: Master, is that straw house over there a toilet?

Monk: Except that thatched cottage, all the places are toilets.

I don't understand. Why do you steal those worthless things instead of stealing them?

Thief: That's enough! My wife has criticized me for this for more than a month.

2 1. If lawyers and politicians fall into the river at the same time, would you rather have coffee or go to the movies? (multiple choice question)

22. It would be funny if it didn't happen to me.

23. Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.