Looking for college campus jokes! ! !

Laugh until your teeth are all over the floor

1. I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke. Not long after I lit my cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying in self-study now! Why did you run out?" I said, I came out to smoke out of boredom, mm, which class are you in? He ran out anyway. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, "That class!" At that time, I was so excited that I said, "Are we in the same class?" What, are you depressed too? She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, so I came out to look for him. I smiled, but it seemed that he still couldn't sit still. Why are you looking for him? You're not his mother! MM: I can’t help it, I’m his class teacher! I was confused at the time... After a minute, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young...

2. I went to eat KFC yesterday, and the person behind me looked like a couple. , watching them order a lot of food, and then sit next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to eat voraciously, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy nibbled on the French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?" The girl didn't even raise her head and said directly: "No!" The boy asked again: "It's not possible at all. "The girl said simply: "Not at all!" The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, feeling that the boy was there. Looking at her, he stopped eating, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes, and whispered: "Then... can I still eat?" Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud, and the boy was helpless. He hurriedly said: "Eat, eat..." This girl is so cute... If I don't let you chase her, I will definitely chase her... chase her desperately! ! ! !

3. A brother went to the toilet and accidentally entered the women's toilet. After entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the toilet. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When I was opening the door, I met a girl who came in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room...

4. One day in the public ** *There were too many people in the car. It was extremely hot and stuffy. I don’t know who farted. Now the environment was even worse. My friend really couldn't bear it, and he didn't know who it was, so there was nothing he could do. Just then, the conductor was asking: "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket!" Suddenly, a very fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly: "I've already bought a ticket."

5. Lost bicycles are a serious problem in school. New bicycles disappear in the blink of an eye. But sometimes you are lucky and the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, a classmate in the dormitory, bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone she met and said, "I have installed the latest lock on this car!" The next day, Xiao Jing returned from studying at night, looking depressed. He looked like he was holding a piece of paper in his hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days! A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again. So I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: Let's see how you can "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: Let's see how you keep riding!

6. Children are innocent... In junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. He was afraid that she would not agree, so he went through her schoolbag after she left the classroom, and found a sanitary napkin. I was surprised and said: "Wow! What a big Band-Aid!"

7. This happened to me when I was in middle school, and to this day, it is a unique thing.

It was an English class, and the teacher asked us to use "How..." to make sentences. At that time, there were "How are you, How do you do, and other daily expressions in junior high school. But the problem was that when everyone brainstormed the answer, only Hearing a man in the back row say "How Yugen~~~~~~~~~" (I believe friends who have played "Street Fighter" know what it means) immediately all the boys in the class fell down laughing, and the girls and the teacher looked at them inexplicably. I was stunned by this sudden scene~~~

8. When I was in middle school, a classmate moved and invited everyone to his house for dinner... There were many dishes. At the dinner table, his mother stood up and said to everyone politely: "You must eat and drink enough. Don't be polite, let alone waste it. Now I'm moving to a new house. Anyway, I don't raise pigs at home, so it would be a pity to throw it away.

[Reposted from Iron Blood Community /]

9. Mr. H and his friends entered a high-end shopping mall. After entering the store and taking only two steps, my friend suddenly saw him skating on the smooth marble floor. He was very surprised. Asked him, Mr. H pointed to the sign next to him while continuing to skate, and said seriously: "Since you are here, you must abide by the rules here." The sign said: "Skate carefully."

10. A leader went to the countryside for a census and asked an old farmer: Do you know why close relatives cannot get married? The old farmer smiled honestly and replied: Hehehe, hehehe, the relationship is too familiar to make a move.

11. A sculpture was completed in a new building of a university: a girl holds a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students, and many people's slogans coincided with each other - studying is useless!

12. There was such a question in a literature exam: Noun explanation: Shakespeare (Shakespeare’s honorific title) had a classmate, and he answered like this: Shakespeare, a strange bird.

13. When I was in primary school, there was a text called "Waterfall". In the middle, it was mentioned that the author turned around a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in the mountain. One of my female classmates also said this when reading it aloud. Emotional thoughts: Turning around this mountain, I was shocked to see a rag hanging on the mountain. The whole class was shocked.

14. A brother suffered from constipation and could not defecate in the toilet for a long time. While he was trying his best, he saw a brother rush into the toilet like a storm and entered the seat next to him. As soon as he entered, someone heard A really violent storm came, and the brother said to the brother in envy: Brother, I envy you so much. The brother said: Why are you envious? I haven’t taken off my pants yet~~

[Reposted from Jagged Community/]

15. I took my youngest son to attend my friend’s birthday. After dinner, everyone went to karaoke, and the younger son volunteered to sing for the protagonist. There was applause. I sang a birthday song for my uncle. There was an uproar. I looked back at the screen: praying.

16. I just bought a house. I called a buddy in excitement: "I bought a house, but it's only a dime room (I forgot to say "blank") and I still need to decorate it." The buddy said: " There’s only one toilet? Where do you live?”