Why do you always feel impetuous and can't calm down?

Seven ways to shape the sunshine mentality

Change your attitude, enjoy the process, live in the present, be emotionally independent, learn to be grateful, "heaven" and "hell" are created by your heart, and learn to bend when the pressure is too great.

so, how to shape the sunshine mentality? Here are seven methods to share with you.

the first method: change your attitude.

if you can't change things, change your attitude towards them. A person's injury because of what happened is not as serious as his view of things. The matter itself is not important, what matters is people's views on it.

There is an idiom called "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise": In the ancient East, there was a wise man who lost one of his horses, and his neighbor said, "You are really unlucky." The wise man replied, "I don't know whether it is good or bad." Soon, the lost horse came back with a wild horse, and the neighbor said, "You are so lucky to have another horse." The wise man replied, "I don't know whether it is good or bad." Soon, the wise man's son rode a wild horse, fell off his horse and broke his leg. The neighbor said, "You are really unlucky, such a son has a broken leg." The wise man replied, "I don't know whether it is good or bad." After a period of time, the emperor recruited soldiers, and many young people were killed on the battlefield. The son of the wise man could not fight because of his broken leg, so he was not recruited and survived. So in the long run, it is not known whether anything is good or bad. A thing is just a coin, sometimes it may be heads, in a couple of days it may be tails, and it may turn over after a while. If everything is treated in two, people will become rational and free and easy.

Changing your attitude can often lead to passion. With passion, you will have the will to make progress, and the result will often change. There is a classic case in China: In ancient times, two scholars, A and B, went to catch the exam and saw a coffin on the way. Armour said, "What bad luck! I met a coffin, and this exam is dead." B said: "coffin, promotion and wealth, it seems that my luck has come, and I will definitely be admitted this time." When they answered the questions, their efforts were different, and as a result, B was admitted. When they got home, they all said to their wives, "That coffin is really clever." This case shows that mentality can affect people's ability, and ability can change people's destiny. Ensuring a good mood at the moment is the basis for ensuring a good mood all day. If you can keep a good mood every day, you will get a good quality of life and experience a wonderful life that others can't.

the second method: enjoy the process.

enjoy the process and make every day wonderful. Life is a process, not a result. If you don't enjoy the process, everyone knows what the result is. Life is a bracket, the left bracket is birth, and the right bracket is death. What we have to do is to fill in the brackets and try to fill them with wonderful life and good mood.

There is a young man who sees through the world of mortals and does nothing every day, sitting lazily under the tree in the sun. A wise man asked him, "Young man, why don't you make money in such a good time?" The young man said, "it's boring. If you make money, you have to spend it." The wise man asked again, "Why don't you get married?" The young man said, "It's boring. Maybe you have to get a divorce." The wise man said, "Why don't you make friends?" The young man said, "it's boring. If you make friends, you may turn against each other." The wise man gave the young man a rope and said, "Why don't you hang yourself? You have to die anyway. You might as well die now." The young man said, "I don't want to die." The wise man then said, "Life is a process, not a result." Young people suddenly wake up, which is called "a word to wake up the dreamer".

how to enjoy the process of life? Focus on the positive things. Life is like traveling, and memory is like photographing. Attention determines choice, and choice determines content. There are two people, A and B, watching the scenery. At the beginning, you watched me, too. Both of them were very happy. Later, A played a clever trick, walked faster and took a look at the scenery earlier than B. At first glance, how can you take a look before me and walk faster than A? So they walked faster and faster, and finally they ran. Originally, I came to see the scenery, but now it has become a race. I didn't see the scenery along the way for a while, and both of them regretted it at the end. This is the process of not enjoying life.

the third method: live in the present.

the real meaning of living in the present comes from Zen. Someone asked a Zen master, what is living in the present? The Zen master replied that eating is eating and sleeping is sleeping, which is called living in the present.

I ask you now, what is the most important thing for you? Who is the most important person? What time is the most important? Some people may say that the most important things are promotion, getting rich, buying a house and car, the most important people are parents, lovers and children, and the most important time is the college entrance examination, graduation defense and wedding. I tell you, none of these things. The most important thing is what you do now. The most important person is the person you are with now. The most important time is now. This view is called living in the present.

A man was chased by a tiger. He ran as fast as he could, and accidentally fell off a cliff. He was quick of eye and caught a cane, and his body hung in mid-air. He looked up, and the tiger stared at him from above; He looked down, and the abyss was waiting for him; He looked in the middle and suddenly found a ripe strawberry beside the rattan. Now this man has three choices: going up, going down and hanging in the air to eat strawberries. How does he choose? He chose to eat strawberries. This is a Zen story, and the mentality of eating strawberries is to live in the present. All you can grasp now is that strawberry, so you should eat it. The present connects the past and the future. If you don't pay attention to the present, you will lose the future and can't connect with the past. You can only grasp the present. If you blindly regret the past, you will be depressed; If you worry about the future blindly, you will be restless; Therefore, you should grasp the present, do the present thing seriously, and don't let past unhappiness and future worries take away your present happiness like robbers.

to live in the present is to make everyone happy now and now. If you are unhappy now, you are not living in the present. Of course, living in the present doesn't mean drinking today and getting drunk today, but drinking today and not getting drunk will not make the Ming Dynasty sad, and living in the process with the future as the guide.

To live in the present, you should learn to discover every good thing that happens to you and believe that your life is unfolding in the best way. If you don't live in the present, you will lose the present.

A country girl squeezed a can of milk, put it on her head, and then began to think: this can sell for a few dollars, which can buy a few chickens. When the chickens grow up, they can lay a lot of eggs, and when they grow up, they can lay a lot of eggs. The money from these eggs is enough for me to buy a beautiful skirt. I put on the skirt and danced in the palace, and my dancing attracted the prince. This is "if you don't live in the present, you will lose the present".

the fourth method: emotional independence.

Emotional independence means that we should not base our happiness on other people's behaviors. We can only grasp ourselves.

Once, Su Dongpo and Zen master Fo Yin visited the temple and found the Guanyin Bodhisattva in the temple holding a rosary. Su Dongpo asked, "Who does Guanyin miss with rosary?" Fo Yin replied, "I still read Guanyin." Su Dongpo asked again, "Why does Guanyin still read Guanyin and miss herself?" Fo Yin's answer is: it is better to ask for help than to ask for help. Therefore, if you want to be in a good state of mind, you must learn to be emotionally independent.

Some people are always worried about the future. Don't make much ado about nothing. If what you are worried about can't be controlled by you, let it be. We can only consider what we can, do our best if we can, and let him go if we can't. Tsinghua University Institute of Economics and Management admitted one doctoral student out of 5, and the competition was fierce. Someone said, "What a shame if I don't pass the exam. What about my future?" I told him: "48 people failed the exam just like you. What you can grasp is to study hard and take the exam as an experience in life."

the fifth method: learn to be grateful.

The boss of an enterprise told me that when he recruits college students, he first looks at whether they are filial to their parents. If they are not filial to their parents, they will not be loyal to the enterprise. When recruiting, he will ask, "What do you do during the winter and summer vacations?" The applicant replied, "Play, travel and rest." He asked again, "Do you often go back to your hometown?" They said, "Come back often." The boss then asked, "What are you doing?" They said, "Find classmates to eat, chat and play together." The boss finally asked, "What do you do at home?" They said, "Sleep and watch TV." The boss is not satisfied with such a candidate: why don't you mention honoring your parents? You can help your parents do some work and tell them something about the university. To learn to be grateful, it is very important to be grateful to your parents first.

There is Thanksgiving in the west, and everyone will thank others for their help on that day. Many people will send a short message to all those who have helped, supported and cared for themselves, thanking them for their care. If you send a short message, others will reply and send a short message to those who need to be grateful. This will have a chain reaction, and everyone will have a very happy Thanksgiving and their interpersonal relationship will become more harmonious. Gratitude can make people feel good. There is a saying in the west that eating vegetables with love is more fragrant than eating beef with hatred.

the sixth method: "heaven" and "hell" are created by the mind.

whether a person is happy or not has nothing to do with wealth, status and power in essence. Happiness is determined by thoughts and mentality. The mind can create "heaven" or "hell". A samurai asked the old Zen master, "Master, what is heaven? What is' hell'? " The old Zen master gave him a contemptuous look and said, "People like you don't deserve to talk to me about heaven at all." Angered, the samurai swished out his knife, put the knife rest around the old Zen master's neck and said, "Bad old man, I'm going to kill you!" " The old Zen master said calmly, "This is' hell'." The samurai understood that anger is "hell". So I put the knife back. The old Zen master said quietly, "This is heaven." The samurai understood that being in a good mood is "heaven".

There is another interesting story: God led a man to hell, and this man found that everyone in hell was bony. They all drink porridge with a special spoon. The handle of the spoon is very long, and the head of the spoon is very small. Not only can they not drink it at all, but the porridge they scoop out is spilled on the ground. Finally, there was no porridge in the bucket, and everyone complained and hated each other. God led the man to heaven again, and he found that everyone in heaven was chubby and smiling. They use the same spoon and eat the same porridge, but they scoop out the porridge and feed it to others. You feed me and I feed you. As a result, everyone eats porridge.

This shows that we should learn to be kind to people around us. Someone said, "I have a lot of close friends, but they are all in Xinjiang, and they are thirsty when they are far away." Some people regard colleagues in the office as opponents, and they are all wrong! It is your colleagues and people around you who can help you in time at critical moments. If you regard others as demons, you will live in "hell"; If you regard others as angels, you will live in heaven. If you can turn others into demons, you are creating "hell"; If you can turn others into angels, you are creating a "paradise". How can we turn others into angels? Learn to be grateful, appreciative, giving and tolerant.

the seventh method: learn to bend when the pressure is too great.

There is such a case: A couple in Canada always quarreled and were on the verge of divorce. So they decided to travel and try to save their marriage. When they came to a north-south valley in Quebec, they were surprised to find that the eastern slope of the valley was covered with all kinds of trees, but the western slope was only cedar. Why is there such a big difference between the eastern and western slopes? Why can only cedar survive on the west slope? Later, they found that the snow was heavy on the west slope and light on the east slope, and the branches of cedar were soft, and there was more snow, so the branches would be bent, and after the snow fell, the branches would recover. Other trees are stiff, and finally the branches will be crushed by snow and the trees will die. They understood that when people are under great pressure, they should also learn to bend. The husband quickly reviewed to his wife: "It's all my fault, I didn't do it right." As soon as the wife listened to her husband's review, she immediately said, "I didn't do enough." So, the two made up.

no matter how sharp the knife is, it's useless if it breaks when touched. We might as well learn from Tai Chi in China's traditional culture. Learn from ancient coins, the outer circle is inside. Of course it's difficult, but we have to work hard.