Come out: let others know that you are gay. How did your mother and I meet people?

"Let others know how your mother and I meet people?"

Today is April 20 12 1 day. I came home at noon and played a big "joke" with my father at night: come out! How easy it is to say, and how can I predict what will happen later?

I thought there were thousands of bad scenes. My dad came directly to beat me, or insulted me, or cut off the father-son relationship and kicked me out of the house. ......

After a violent heartbeat, I finally said that sentence. At that time, he was washing feet. When I started talking, I kept looking at his eyes. Suddenly I found my father was old, and his eyes were full of traces of years. I have never talked to my father so formally.

Hardly had I said it when he let out a sigh of "shh". He said that his head went blank and his eyes turned white after hearing it. I don't know how heavy this sentence is. Directly hit my tired body, my father was bleeding.

He advised me to change and told me never to tell my mother, because it might directly kill my mother, and I agreed. He listened to all my self-defense, said that I respected my choice, and even said that I could not get married while he was alive, but I had to consider my mother. He loves my mother so much that I don't know what to do!

After careful consideration, he said not to talk about this now, and he can continue to support me when I graduate and enter the society! How happy I feel, such a universal requirement is so precious now.

He said so much, the most sad thing for me is the sentence "How can your mother and I meet people in the future if you do this and let others know?"

This sentence, I will remember, remember all my life, I don't know how to answer, a "sorry" now seems so small and powerless.

My father told me that when people are born, they have to bear some responsibilities. Not planning to get married is irresponsible to society, traditional morality and them. Then, he asked me what people live for, and I didn't know how to answer in an instant. ......

Dad, I'm sorry I have added to your burden. I feel guilty for you all my life!

(2)

Early in the morning, I took my mother to buy food.

I finally took that step. I lie in bed at night, recalling those pictures, scene after scene. I think dad must have insomnia at this time.

In the early morning of April 2, I heard my mother dragging a tree that had already been cut down outside the window. I remember helping her do it. Later, when he finished, I began to wash my face.

Mother stood beside me, wondering whether she was looking in the mirror or at me. I began to talk to my mother about some things, some unnecessary homeliness, and really felt so precious time and so gentle. Mom suggested going shopping with her, and I agreed.

After changing my shoes, I went out and walked along the canal with her. I grabbed her arm. I have never been so close to my mother since breastfeeding. My mother said a word slowly, I can probably understand it, and she got it.

Father stayed up all night and began to cry in the early morning. My mother asked again and again, and finally found out. I don't think my father really needs to bear it alone. Maybe it would be better this way.

My mother and I talked in the same low tone as my father last night. After all, my mother is a woman, and tears are inevitable. That's what I think of other mothers. I didn't persuade her not to cry. I feel very comfortable if I want to cry.

Along the way, I began to communicate with my mother slowly. My mother can't accept it. I'll explain it slowly. She has been crying. I thought everything would be all right at first. My mother doesn't have such a life pattern in her mind, so I can't imagine my future life. I have been repeating a sentence, I am fine, I am really fine, don't worry about me.

When I got home, my father was still in bed. I don't know if he was asleep. Mom was in the other room, so I went in and sat on the sofa with her, and continued to talk about some psychology. She is holding a pink pillow towel. At this time, the cloth was covered with pieces of traces. She kept wiping away her tears, which kept slipping down her nose.

I remember the last time, because I stole from others, she found out, and she taught me a lesson with tears. I was 12 years old then, and now I am 2 1 year old.

This kind of explanation and communication continues. Mom's phone rang. I went out and will be back soon. I saw my mother covering her face with a whole pillow towel. I sat next to her. I don't want to persuade her not to cry, because she will cry even harder. I choked for a while and the atmosphere was quiet. I finally burst into tears.

I pretended not to cry badly, adjusted my tone and continued to persuade. My mother took my hand and began to touch her. I stopped crying in an instant. I can't cry. I must be better than anyone. I can't let them see me cry, otherwise they will think that I am wronged and they will be more sad.

After dinner in the morning, my father went out and my mother fell asleep. I suddenly feel so calm. It is dark outside. It is said that there is a sandstorm today, and suddenly it is windy again. The sun came out and I looked out of the window.

(3)

It seems that I underestimated the power of China's traditional morality.

Everything is fine, I thought so, and finally broke out. Out of control, I suddenly found that the biggest mistake in my life was coming out to my parents, and I suddenly hated my hometown and village, and I hated it. ......

On the evening of April 2, my father came back, drunk as usual, but he seemed more drunk. As soon as he sat on the sofa, he began to talk, and all three of us were there. He said he didn't know me anymore. There was no me. Hearing my name gives me a headache!

He and my mother began to cry, and I went to comfort him, and then it became more and more fierce. They're going to kick me out tonight. He won't have me tonight. It's either me or him!

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything. He told me to kneel, and I did. He said that after I knelt down, our father-son relationship was dissolved, and no one knew each other anymore. Don't go back to this house, but I am allowed to stay for one night and leave here tomorrow.

He denies that I am his son, but he will always be my father! Later, I went to another room, and my mother began to appease my father. After a while, my father came and knelt down for me. Now I finally know how painful he is, and it has finally erupted since yesterday.

He gave me his family card and all the rest of his savings, and told me to get out with the money and come back when I figured it out, otherwise once he found out I was fooling around, he would go straight away!

All night, he said "death" hundreds of times. I have never been afraid of death. My existence is not important, but I never choose death. My father takes it too seriously.

Later, when I was sleeping, my father woke up and came to sleep with me. He started chatting with me, not quarreling, and I never quarreled with them.

He began to persuade me again, but I explained it to him. His opinion of me is that I am a pervert. He said I was twisted and a monster. In fact, nothing disgusting and cruel can hurt me.

Finally, my father gave me five to ten years to turn over a new leaf. I promised, I want time to "heal" everyone's injuries slowly.

(d) "Traveling" to the hospital with parents.

That day, my parents said they would take me to see a psychiatrist. I looked my father in the eye, thought for two seconds, and agreed.

These two seconds, my thoughts are extremely intense-

First of all, I agreed to go not because I admit that I have psychological problems, but to reassure my parents and take this opportunity to let them know more about me.

Besides, I like to be exposed to new things, which I have never seen before. They all look very attractive to me. I even imagined that it would not be a bad thing to be sent to prison for an event in the future. French legendary writer Jean-Genet, how much I love him, everything about him, theft, prostitution, imprisonment, finally produced such a wonderful text (even if the translation is so beautiful). Of course, in the eyes of ordinary people, I am sick, but it is really what I think.

Early that morning, my parents and I came to Xi 'an, and we had a little argument with my father on the way. He suddenly increased his horsepower, which made me think he was taking me with him. No, I'm worried.

I made an appointment with a psychologist in the hospital and talked with him a lot, including life, physiology, hobbies and experiences. Actually, theoretically, I know more than him. At least in this respect, he is not an expert, but he is very kind and his parents like him.

I had a good chat with him. He likes me very much as a patient. After returning home, we exchanged text messages at night. We made friends. He is the oldest friend I know, but he tells me everything. After getting off the plane, we continued to chat. He said something that seemed to be sexually suggestive. I don't quite understand. This old guy still plays with me. Haha, if I don't take the initiative to end it, I will probably lose sleep.

He also talked to my parents, who loved it. He is very good and obedient. A rare scene of harmony and prosperity at home. My parents and I get along better than before. I really appreciate him, this old brother.

That day, I also met an old woman in the office. It is said that he is an old expert who has been rehired, and he is in his sixties. I like chatting with her, too. She is very fashionable, chatting online, dressed in fashion and has a very good attitude. She is an anti-cancer star. Twenty years after gastric cancer, she is still in good health and has a great figure. She wears a skirt.

We talked a lot about tourism. When I said I wanted to go to Xinjiang, she started talking about her trip to Xinjiang. She wants me to work hard. After making money, I want to play with men and women. I think this old lady is really funny. When we left, we didn't say enough, and we reluctantly hugged and said goodbye. Then we came back and texted each other. It was so cute.

Psychological counseling is very expensive, 200 yuan an hour. From talking in the morning until people get off work in the afternoon, I feel bad about money, but we both like each other very much. Plus it's introduced by an acquaintance, and it's not expensive. I'm relieved that my mother said so. ......

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