The goddess gave me a "hehe". What should I do?

Summon up the courage to chat with the goddess, but I can't find a topic. The goddess sent the word "hehe". How to have a dialogue?

Don't worry, let's take a look at the following dialogue first:

Dialogue 1:

Han Meimei: I had a meeting all day today. I didn't finish my work until seven. It took me an hour to get home by subway. I just washed my hair and finally had a rest.

Li Lei: Well, thank you!

Dialogue 2:

Li Lei: What are your plans for the weekend?

Han Meimei: It was a wonderful weekend. I'm going to play in the suburbs with my colleagues. I heard that the newly-built country park is good.

Li Lei: Oh, have a nice weekend!

Excuse me: Is there a problem with what Li Lei said in the above conversation? If so, how should Li Lei improve?

If you think-Li Lei is not wrong! That's how I usually chat! Hmm! Then Bian Xiao, I have to wish you happiness!

But if you think there seems to be something wrong with Li Lei's chat mode, but you can't say why and can't think of a better chat mode, then read it quickly!

Obviously, people like Li Lei have a resounding name-"Dead stars".

In fact, many people around us have a magical buff, which can always "accurately" end the whole conversation in one or two sentences.

And we may be one of the "people who talk about the death star". When someone sends a string of words, our heads often suddenly get stuck and suddenly don't know what to pick up. That scene was awkward at one time!

Especially when you want to leave a good impression on others, such as facing your own male god or goddess, the physique of "talking about dead stars" will become more and more "seizure", and you will fall into a situation where you can't find a topic when chatting!

Why can some people talk about Tianer happily all the time, while others can "magically" talk about Tianer to death? Why is the Death Star so strange?

Psychologists say that chatting actually has a "routine"!

Up, down, parallel-what's your chat program?

In other words, in fact, everyone has a fixed routine when chatting with others, but you never realize it.

Generally speaking, our usual chat moves can basically be summarized as "stacking", "deleting" and "parallel".

The so-called "piling up" refers to the general language, such as making a summary and evaluation, predicting the future, exploring causality and so on. Always take objective facts as the standard.

For example, in Li Lei's conversation above, Han Meimei complained to him about his hard work. Just after taking a break, Li Lei gave a bunch of "summative evaluations"-"You have worked hard!"

On the heap, it's like lifting a protective cover in a conversation, but it just pulls the distance between the two sides of the chat.

"Digging into one's mind" refers to specific language, such as telling specific details, expressing feelings and enumerating phenomena. , generally based on self.

For example, when Li Lei asked Han Meimei about his weekend plans, Han Meimei gave a cut-off answer, telling Li Lei in detail who he was going with, where he was going to play and why.

A concise dialogue can convey friendship and trust, which is an excellent way to expand the dialogue. Two people can discuss details, such as the relationship with colleagues, the scenery of country parks and so on. However, Li Lei, a straight man, didn't see Han Meimei's thoughts, but gave a pile of summaries-"Have a nice weekend" and quickly became a topic terminator.

The so-called "parallelism" means that one side evaluates that the current topic is coming to an end and continues to talk about another topic.

For example, after listening to a trip to a country park in Han Meimei on the weekend, Li Lei felt speechless, so he could say that he planned to see the newly released movie this week and successfully continued the dialogue.

Having said that, now look through your chat records and see which "routine" you use the most!

Male Thinking or Female Thinking —— How did Talking about the Death Star Man come into being?

How is everyone's "routine" formed?

In fact, in the process of dialogue, we will unconsciously choose our own dialogue mode. The reason that affects our unconscious choices lies in our sense of security in conversation.

For example, going to the heap is not necessarily because you don't want to communicate. Sometimes, although you really want to talk, you are often left out because you are too nervous. For example, an otaku may only say "drink more hot water" to the girl he likes.

On the contrary, when people feel safe, they often express themselves in a downward direction, such as a duck to water, for example, you are chatting with FaXiaoer.

On the other hand, why do language patterns pile up when people feel insecure and cut them down when they feel secure?

To put it further, heap belongs to a kind of male thinking (alas! Straight man's pot! ), undercut belongs to a kind of female thinking. Men's thinking and women's thinking are the thinking modes that people will adopt under low security (stress state) and high security (natural state) respectively.

The so-called stress state usually has a clear goal, attack or defense, acquisition or escape. In order to accomplish the task effectively, we only care about the things related to the goal and try to find out the causal relationship between them. Just like our male ancestors hunted in ancient times.

The so-called natural state refers to a process that has nothing to do with the purpose. We will pay attention to everything in the situation and collect their information, but this is not for the next step, mainly for happiness. Have you ever thought about ancient women gossiping while picking fruits?

Of course, male thinking and female thinking are not absolute. Women also use male thinking under pressure, such as aggressive female bosses in the workplace. Men, in a natural state, also use female thinking, such as a good buddy who keeps bragging on the wine table.

So, I can't chat, so I may have to check my thinking mode first!

If you want to practice this skill, you must first set a routine-a guide to correct chat.

From the way of speaking to the way of thinking, although we know what kind of physique "Death Star Man" is, but-

Know a lot of truth, but you can't even strike up a conversation?

That's impossible! Let's learn how to strike up a conversation with "routines"!

"Talking up" is probably the nightmare of most people. The party who takes the initiative to strike up a conversation will bear the risk of rejection, and the party who is accosted will doubt whether the other party is a bad person.

In this state of pressure, two people who don't know each other at all want to carry on the conversation, which is definitely a hard mode in chat:

Boy: May I know you?

Girl: Why?

Boy:?

If you are a boy, how should you answer?

"Because we are predestined friends"-a typical abstract summary.

"I want to be friends with you" —— Building for the purpose of solving problems

If you were the girl who was accosted, what would you think of the person in front of you?

In fact, the correct way to open it is:

"I saw you by the elevator just now, and I suddenly felt that if I didn't come and talk to you, I might regret it today." -Express the details of the cut.

"I feel a little abrupt, too, but I really want to know you, and I can't find another way"-the next cut to express my feelings.

See, the above two abridged answers are useless for answering the question of "why" of girls.

However, through deletion, it conveys a sense of security to the other party, so that the dialogue can go on, and some can go on. On the contrary, the more you talk, the more nervous you are, and the dialogue will fall into a situation where you can't talk.

Knock on the blackboard! Focus!

Once you have mastered the principle, you can draw inferences from others.

If you want to chat, you should make the topic more specific, ask questions according to the "key words" in the other person's words, and appropriately increase your self-exposure. Once you find that the topic is coming to an end, you can use parallel chat to lead to other topics.

If you don't want to continue talking, give a general conclusion along the direction of the topic, which means "I already know, you don't have to say more."

Of course, in the end, Bian Xiao also stressed that if you want to really talk about the sky, you don't have to use the skills of "cutting" and "parallelism" blindly.

There is a saying that great souls are hermaphroditic.

The upward reaction represented by male thinking is suitable for solving problems and contradictions, while the downward reaction represented by female thinking is suitable for dealing with interpersonal relationships. If you look at life carefully, you will find that those who are powerful can often switch between two ways of thinking freely.

Just "cutting" and "parallel" will make the other person feel that you are very close? Block the streets? Bad equipment? Gay in ay. Only by properly giving conclusions, reasoning and skillfully using these three skills can we really talk about Tianer into each other's hearts.

Back to the topic at the beginning of the article, the goddess sent a "hehe". How should I reply?

Some goddesses end the topic with "Hehe". Perhaps, your love is really going to be "hehe". After all-