Campus humor jokes

Campus humorous jokes, many people will choose to watch some jokes when they are unhappy. Joke is a Chinese word, meaning something that makes people laugh. Jokes are characterized by short pictures, simple and ingenious stories, which are often unexpected and give people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Let's take a look at the humorous jokes and related materials on campus.

Campus humor joke 1 1, a classmate in our dormitory in college has particularly smelly feet and is completely immoral. One day we sprained his foot while playing basketball, and we carried him to the infirmary. At that moment, the smell of slippers was not floating around, but it was almost cracked. The school doctor and we ran straight out of the infirmary. Finally, the school doctor wore a three-layer mask and took two electric fans to the maximum gear to blow his feet for treatment.

2. Colleagues get together to bring their families. My son was beaten and cried by a little girl for some reason. The little girl's mother hurried over to apologize to me. I smiled and said: Nothing, it's normal for children to fight. Maybe they can get married when they grow up. At this time, a colleague joked: Do you have to ask your son if he can fight? Before I could speak, my son straightened up immediately after listening, with tears in his eyes, and said stubbornly, Fight!

When I was a child, my second uncle loved me very much. I often visit his house. There is a big goose in his house who often pecks me. Once it bullied me again. I hit it hard on the head with a stick, and it fell to the ground and twitched several times before moving. I was so scared that I told my second uncle that I had killed his goose. The second uncle said: It is better to be dead than to bully children all the time. There are geese to eat tonight. When the second uncle boiled water to pluck goose feathers, the goose got up and ran away. ...

My junior middle school brother went out to surf the Internet after he got out of prison. He heard that there is a very popular competitive game recently. As a result, his father caught him and took him back to the dormitory. His father warned him to go to the Internet cafe again and break his leg. He said, "Even if you break my leg, I have to go again." His father immediately became angry, and catching him was a kick. While hiding, he shouted, "My toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel and quilt are all in the net!" "

I have no appetite today, and my food is terrible. So I took my boyfriend's hand and put it on my forehead to complain, dear, I seem to be ill. "My boyfriend spread out my hand and said," What's wrong with you? You are terminally ill! See for yourself. " Then he took out a medical record from his pocket and gave it to me. When reading the medical records, I was at a loss: picky eaters, no exercise, playing mobile phones for more than an hour, playing mahjong, staying up late, getting up late, and drinking too many cold drinks. ...

6. After graduation, my girlfriend and I worked in a company. Both of us have been sitting in the office for a long time, working on the computer and getting heavier and heavier. Later, my girlfriend and I agreed to run together to lose weight on weekends and supervise each other. We get up at 7 o'clock every morning to run and eat some fruits and vegetables at night. Until last night, I met my best friend, who was eating roast duck in a roast duck restaurant, holding roast pig's trotters in his right hand and classic milk tea in his left. ...

When my daughter was young, she learned to eat by herself. I accidentally dropped the spoon because of my small hands and strong strength. In order to let her pick it up by herself, I said to her: spoons and bowls are good friends. Now that the spoon has fallen to the ground and our good friends have separated, what should we do? The daughter thought for a moment and dropped the bowl with a clash. ...

Campus hilarious short jokes

1, the unit is a tree full of monkeys. Looking up is full of ass, looking down is full of smiling faces, and looking left and right is full of eyes and ears! ! !

You are lying opposite the theater, occupying four seats. When someone wakes you up, you only help two things. The security guard came over and said, "Damn ~ Brother, which way is it?" You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

Patient: I can't sleep. Doctor: these pills, red makes you dream of Dehua; Allen's white dream; Green dream of nourishing hair. Patient: What about eating them all? Doctor: Then you can see Guo Rong.

A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

I heard that you were surrounded by eight thieves that day, but you were not knocked down, and you worked hard ... only later did you know that you were tied to a tree and beaten. Ha ha!

6. I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Please be kind to me, or I'll write a proposal letter, with no restrictions!

7. I heard that your mobile phone has no short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not sent by me, please reply to me: I do, it is yours!

I asked my boss for a week's leave to decorate my house outside anonymous. After a week, the house has not been renovated, so we have to send a telegram to extend our leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I haven't finished sexual intercourse, so I'm going to take a week off.

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Due to long-term depression, the night will become a big dream and the mood will be reduced by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will last until I see you.

10, A: "The new neighbor is so hateful. He came in the middle of the night last night and rang my doorbell hard. B: Did you call the police? " A: "No, I think they are crazy. Keep playing my trumpet. 」

Campus Humorous Jokes 2 Classic Humorous Campus Jokes 1

1, in the dormitory at night.

"Plug in the power supply? Where are you plugged in? "

"I can't get in!"

"Push!" ……

Then the dormitory was dark in an instant, and Nima was short-circuited!

Chatting with long-lost college classmates on the phone. Me: How are you, brother? Recently?

He said: at first I thought I would make a difference with the housekeeping skills I learned at school!

Me: What about now?

He said: now I am a janitor of a factory!

There are many mosquitoes in summer school, and the male students sitting in front of me are always bitten by mosquitoes. He said angrily, "I've been biting your father!" "

The result was heard by my deskmate. After a while, the mosquito bit my deskmate. The deskmate photographed a gay man and said, "Take care of your children and keep biting me!" " "

Classic Humorous Campus Jokes II

1. If I pass all the exams, please don't call me a bully, call me a gambler!

2, so distressed, I failed to do my homework every day.

In high school, the teacher transferred the boys to a table and the girls to a table to prevent puppy love. In fact, he didn't realize the more serious problem!

4. Xueba is generally divided into three realms: everyone sleeps and I wake up alone; I don't regret that the bags under my eyes are black. I'm fine when others pass by; Three years at the same table, suddenly looking back, that person seems familiar!

5. Did your math score exceed your weight? -This is really a bloody question!

6. It is strongly recommended that school study rooms be divided into four types: lovers show their love, singles seek to meet, peers in gay friends, and students learn to bully purely academically, so as not to injure others by accident and harm others!

7, exercise book detection is normal! The pen test is normal! The answer is in place! The seat safety test is normal! The brightness of the desk lamp is normal! Cell phone isolation is normal!

Homework countdown 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 ... Drop it! Drop it! Mobile phone isolation failed! Warning! Warning! Don't touch the phone! Warning! Warning! ..... Fingers touch the phone, and the system crashes! Failed to write homework!

8. "Actually, the geography I just took is not difficult." "The examinee ..."

Classic humorous campus jokes 3

1, Senior: "Are you a freshman?"

Senior sister secretly rejoiced after listening, thinking that she was praising her youth: "How do you know?"

Senior: "Look at your skin!"

Senior sister was even happier after hearing this, thinking: I didn't expect my skin to be so good!

She waved her hand and said, "Actually, I'm a junior."

The senior mused, "Look at your skin, I thought you had just finished military training."

2. Roommate lamented that people who have known each other for so long have only two "empty" words in their names!

Me: Which two?

He: A the Monkey King, a hole!

Me: Then what?

He: One is a childhood dream, and the other is a teenager's fantasy.

3. Xiaoli was wearing a hot low-cut dress when she suddenly heard someone whisper, "I think it's B."

"No, it must be A."

Xiaoli is angry. She walked over and spat, "Don't answer the questions in the exam!" "

4. In the girls' dormitory, a roommate came to her aunt, and another roommate said that when a girl comes to her aunt, her breasts will get bigger. Roommate sighed with emotion: "If only she would come to have her period every day!"

As a result, another roommate said, "If you are a freshman every day, your breasts will be of great use!" " "

5. Freshman: Brother, is there a beautiful woman in your buckle? Introduce me to one.

Sophomore: Brother, is there a woman in your buckle? Introduce me to one.

Junior: Brother, is there anyone else in your buckle?

Senior: Brother, come here for a moment. ...

Classic humorous campus jokes 4

The last question in the professional course exam: Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote Newton. As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. It turns out that everyone writes the name of the tutor ... what a world!

Yesterday morning, I was watching the scenery on the balcony, and I found a beautiful girl in the opposite girl's dormitory waving to me with a handkerchief, and I waved to her. Then she ran to another window and waved to me, and I waved to her; Then she left again, and I didn't realize it until she waved to me at the third window. It turned out that she was cleaning the window. ...

MM looked for Tsinghua and got lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with some thick books in his arms. "Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University?" The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Study, you can only go to Tsinghua if you continue to study hard."

A student in Tsinghua squats in a corner of the zoo with a broken bottle every day to watch bears. His mother went to the hospital to ask if there was anything wrong with the child's nerves. The doctor said that to judge whether he is ill, we must start with knowing him. So the doctor took a bottle to see the bear every day, and the two of them squatted for a month without saying a word. Finally, one day, he said, "Excuse me, are you, are you going to throw sulfuric acid at the bear?"

The only girl in the department came to watch the basketball game. Suddenly, the MM skirt was blown by the strong wind, and the foreign boy shouted, "God, spring is missing!" " "The boy in the department said with a calm face," Please, this is dirty clothes! "

When a man got married, he swore to God that he would be faithful to the marriage, but soon after the marriage, he cheated. After a few days, he found that there was no retribution, and he forgot. Until one day, he sailed by boat and was caught in a storm.

He suddenly realized that this was God's punishment, so he quickly knelt down and prayed: for the sake of other innocent people, he asked for forgiveness. At this moment, I heard a deep voice in the sky: Do you think I am free these years? Can I easily fill this boat? I ...

Campus humor jokes 3 humorous primary school campus jokes 1

1. In class, the teacher asked, "Fresh water resources are scarce. A public service advertisement said: Don't let the last drop of water in the world be human?

I didn't expect my classmates to look blank.

The teacher said, "It's a liquid in our body."

A student replied, "I see it. It's blood."

Another student retorted, "No, it's urine."

Frightened, the teacher quickly announced the answer: "It's tears, it's tears."

2. In high school, two students watched island action movies in self-study class. As a result, they looked too carefully and didn't find that the head teacher had stood behind. As a result, the class teacher sighed, "Why do you say you are watching this? It won't happen again, will it?"

3, junior high school students surnamed Ma, called. We all call her the toilet.

As a result, the little girl cried and asked for a name change.

Finally changed its name to Ma Xintong.

As a result, her nickname became "new toilet".

4. On the platform, a female classmate proudly said, "I am proud of my flat chest, and I save cloth for my country."

Say that finish, everyone applauded.

Only one person in the corner said faintly, "Did you cheat?"? These days, everyone knows that the bigger the chest, the less you wear. "

Humor primary school campus jokes II

1. In the pathology class, many students dozed off, so the professor lost his temper: "As for the real time of death, the medical community has been arguing whether it is when the brain stops moving or when the heart stops beating. But if it is the former, I have to announce:' Most students in this class are dead.' "

Xiaoming is a freshman who has just entered primary school. After the report card of the first mid-term exam was handed out, Xiaoming's father said to him, "Son, I hope I won't know how many people are in your class every time I see your ranking."

3. a: "what is' three misfortunes?' "

B: "Physiology, biochemistry and biochemistry are all pawned!"

A: "What school did you learn from?"

B: "I am a fifth school, and I have to have five subjects in every exam."

The professor of economics said in class, "Students, foreign workers have a great influence on us. Can you guess which country's foreign workers earn the most money? Is it too old, too old, too old, or ... "

A student answered first: "McDonald's!" "

A dog was wandering in the street and saw the notice in the window: "Staff wanted. Must be able to type, understand computers and be proficient in two languages. Equal opportunities. "

The dog went in to apply and was rejected. "I can't hire a dog to work in the company." The manager said. Not convinced, the dog pointed to the words "equal opportunity" on the notice to protest. The manager sighed and asked, "Can you type?" The dog silently walked to the typewriter and typed a letter accurately. "Do you know how to use a computer?" The manager asked.

The dog sat in front of a terminal and programmed it to work accurately.

"I really can't hire a dog to do this job." The manager said angrily.

"Even if I can type and know computers, I need bilingual employees."

The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow ..."

Humor primary school campus joke 3

1. Xiaoming fell asleep in class. The teacher woke him up and asked him why he slept in class.

Xiao Ming: My eyes are uncomfortable.

Teacher: What's wrong?

Xiaoming: Autism.

Teacher: Go home and be autistic!

2. "Xiao Ming, every lesson I tell my teacher is my years of traveling in the rivers and lakes. You must listen carefully. "

"Remember, master."

"I know you will feel a little bored. The master allows you to wander in the middle, but you must remember the last sentence in each class! This is the point! "

"Master, I always remember the last sentence!"

"What was the last sentence of last class? Tell me about it. "

"Class dismissed!"

"Get out!"

Xiaoming: It took me several years to collect these 999 flowers in order to send my deepest wishes to you on Teacher's Day this year. I cut each flower myself, and each flower represents my deepest blessing. I don't have to pack up and leave this time, do I

Teacher: Get out! Who taught you to send me a wreath in the morning? !

4. Teacher: Don't let the faucet cry alone. What will the sea do if you see such a situation?

Xiaoming: Open another one to make it not lonely.

5. Teacher: How does the dog bark? Xiao Ming replied.

Xiaoming: Xiao Ming, answer it.

Teacher: Get out.

6. The teacher talked to Xiaoming and asked, "How are you doing recently? Do you seldom make trouble?"

Xiao Ming said with a mature face: "I have read all the vicissitudes of the world and seen through the coldness of the world. I don't want to be the first bird!

Teacher: "Speak human words!"

"Recently, strong cold air has frequently crossed the border and the temperature has plummeted. It's windy outside, afraid of catching a cold! "