20 18 humorous jokes

The expression of jokes is subtle, which makes people smile. Below I have carefully arranged some jokes that can make your stomach ache, hoping to help you!

20 18 humorous jokes

progress

A survey of middle school students' compositions in recent three years shows that China people have made great progress in bioengineering.

According to the analysis, among the characters mentioned in the composition, 7. 18% is long? Talking eyes? .

chance

Xiaoming:? Dad, I want a mobile phone! ?

Dad:? Good boy, I'll buy it for you when you grow up! ?

Xiaoming:? I'm so tired, dad. Please carry me! ?

Dad:? Good boy, you have grown up, go by yourself! ?

Xiaoming:? Yes, I have grown up. Buy me a mobile phone! ?

Show concern for

I didn't cook at noon, only enough for one person in the morning. My parents looked at each other and said to me in unison. You eat! ? I'm so touched.

When I finished eating, they turned and went to the restaurant.

coffee

My friend explained a lot about coffee to me.

I asked him curiously: You know so much, you must be very particular about drinking coffee. What brand do you drink?

Friend:? One hundred yuan, ninety-nine ?

love

My nephew is 9 years old, in the third grade of primary school. He likes a girl in his class, and girls like him, so he was established? Love relationship? .

He often says: It's boring to have a girlfriend? I don't know what to do. Obviously, I am no different from ordinary students, bound by my boyfriend's birthright. I am frustrated that I can't contact other girls.

But I dare not break up, because the woman is the representative of the working class, and she is afraid that she will not be friends after breaking up, which has many disadvantages.

This is my nephew, 9 years old. He fell in love with a tiger.

Have a crush on sb

When I was in primary school, I had a crush on a handsome boy in my class. I met him on my way to school that day, and I deliberately scolded him to get his attention.

Who knows this joke, catch up and beat me up!

Have a secret that no one knows.

One day after a long time, your children saw your update status on social networking sites: I went to see the grand prix today.

He looked at you silently, and you never looked up in front of him again.

medicated leaven

A recently adapted brainwashing divine comedy is especially suitable for some people:

I have a daughter,

I have a friend,

Uh, friends? Miss s

fresh meat

Go shopping arm in arm with my wife, pass by a school, and come out with some lovely young fresh meat.

Just as these small fresh meats passed by us, my wife suddenly said: No need to send them. I'm going back to school, dad. ?

20 18 humorous sketches

1. A rich woman recruited a male prostitute and put cool oil into a condom in order to achieve the expected effect. After a sex rain, the male prostitute lamented: Damn, rich people are just different. B is equipped with air conditioning.

2. There are too many patterns of sex, and countless men are tired and tired, and the grass is rising and falling. They want to play a few tricks with macho men, and they can also play Xiao, so that you can bend down in the morning and move on, and count romantic figures all night.

3. Impatience under light rain, the young woman ran into the ruined temple and peed on the Buddha statue, which is a rude violation. When the abbot of the temple saw this, he quickly pulled out his cannon and tried to block the vagina. The Buddha praised him for doing justice for heaven and gave me a good fuck.

4. Give me some time, give me some space, put you in the middle of Simmons, chew the tip of your tongue, the edge of lick mimi, touch your navel ring, put it between your legs and let you go.

5. There was a loud bang, and the guards were going to enter D. The grassroots leaders were very nervous, so they quickly asked the Central Committee of D. The secretary told the story with a smile. These sluts really dare to think, immediately rectify the casino and arrest them all to show their condolences to D.

6. There is a temple on the hill. In the middle of the night, the nun cried, the abbot at the door laughed, took an aphrodisiac, and the worm became warped, and the nun came to orgasm. You're amazing, Dean. You'd better believe in Buddhism. I will eat again tomorrow night.

7. Blame me me, blame me, blame me for not going to the toilet and seeing a young woman hiding inside. I was so happy that the young woman gave me a fright. She came and forced me to cheat, locked me up, and I lost my body. She lost the fire, so happy that the young woman exhausted me.

8. One day, a monk met a nun. He wrote a couplet: Part I didn't hang up during the day, and Part II: I hung up at night. I criticized: I'm idle! The first couplet of nuns: holes in the daytime, the second couplet: empty holes at night, and horizontal criticism: answer and ask (ball).

9. Two ladies complain that the bus is crowded now, which makes them very miserable. One said:? I'm so unlucky! I was packed to death in the car. ? One said:? I'm so unlucky! The car is so crowded that I'm pregnant. ?

10. A TV host can't have children after several years of marriage. Anxious and worried, she went to the doctor to complain. Say I can't, I got pregnant three times before I got married; Say that my husband can't do it, and our Taiwan Province leaders can't?

Humorous jokes and jokes

1. In the morning, my son cried and told me and my wife that he dreamed that his grandmother died. I said it doesn't matter, the dream is reversed. If he dreams that his grandmother is dead, it may be his grandmother. . . I felt three blood stains on my face and wanted to cry. .

I went to my boyfriend's house to see my parents for the first time last night. Her mother cooked delicious food. After eating a bowl of rice, I remember to pack another bowl. His mother held me down and said, it's okay. Leave the bowl. I'll wash it later.

I drank too much last night and my wife was not at home. I asked my daughter to pour me a cup of sugar water to sober me up. The daughter asked:? Any sugar will do? I said yes. A few minutes later, I saw my daughter holding a glass of water with some chewing gum floating on it.

I took my one-year-old son to eat stinky tofu for the first time today. The son took a bite: Mom, who pulled this? It's delicious! ? After listening, the husband said:? Take good care of him these days, don't shit and eat by yourself! ?

5. son:? I only got 25 points in the English exam, but the whole class scored very low. ? Mom:? I don't care how many points others got in the exam, not even your low score! ? The next day, son: I got 90 points in math. ? Mom:? Where are the others?

6. The girl cried on the phone. You are a liar. You finally know that you and I are long-distance lovers, just because your father is the manager of a mobile company. You must be glad that you cheated me of so many phone bills. ?

7. Mother snail said to the little snail, you are not young either. I'll take you to the village next door for a blind date tomorrow. Snail: Mom, I'm only twelve years old, and I haven't reached the legal age for marriage! Mother snail said, son, when we get there, you will be big.

8. A couple just quarreled, and the wife is still angry about it! Suddenly, the wife turned to her little son and asked, If mom and dad quarrel, which side would you stand on? The child thought for a moment and said firmly. Stand by and watch! ?

9. Some people say: How big is your school? I replied: The reason why the aunt who sells mala Tang in the west gate of our school refuses the uncle who sells rice noodles in the east gate is that she doesn't like long-distance relationships.

10. My girlfriend heard that when things are urgent, drinking some cold water will calm down. One day, she went out to play with her boyfriend by boat. As a result, her boyfriend slipped and fell into the water. Seeing her boyfriend in a panic, she shouted: Don't drink water in a panic! ?