A short joke

1 The new diva sang rock and roll at the top of her lungs in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to make a big change ..." The bookworm who was reading suddenly looked up and asked in surprise, "Isn't the toilet empty?"

The male bathhouse and the female bathhouse in the school walk through the same door, so students of the opposite sex often meet them, which is quite embarrassing. One day, the bookworm walked to the door and happened to meet a junior who came out listlessly. The bookworm dodged to say hello and said, "Are there many people inside?"

Once, I had dinner with my friends in a restaurant. We sat there waiting for the waiter to serve us. After a while, a beggar brought a bowl to my friend's back and touched it gently, imagining that he wanted money. My friend was chatting with me, thinking that the waiter had brought the meal, so he didn't look back and took the rice bowl in the beggar's hand and put it in front of him. We were all stunned at that time, and the beggar wanted to cry more (even if he was killed, he wouldn't think that someone would rob him of his job) ~ ~ ~

When I was in college, one of my buddies met a beautiful woman on campus. It was love at first sight, and every day he was very emotional. One day at noon, I went out to eat with him, and a beautiful woman passed by. My buddy immediately pulled me behind and saw a beautiful woman enter a noodle restaurant, and we also sat in it. I advised my buddy: "Senior year, hurry up ~" So he got up the courage, stepped forward and blushed and asked: "What's your name, classmate?" The beauty looked at my buddy blankly: "My name is beef noodles." Dude was stupid, and I was laughing!

Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang an ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased."

Tong Tong said: "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'?"

A brother in the past dormitory suddenly sat up at 4 am and shouted, "Get up quickly, you are late for class!" " "Then two people immediately get up and wear good clothes. I was playing pc at that time.

One night, I ate my favorite bitter gourd, and she said, "XXX (my mother's name), make me a bitter gourd, and you are dead ..." At that time, she probably yelled loudly. My mother, who slept in another cupboard, heard it. The next morning, after she interrogated me angrily, she gave me a crazy meal ... which can be said to be hanging me. ......

A classmate went horseback riding during the day, was still very excited at night, and then fell asleep. We play cards. After a while, the man said, drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! ! ! ! !

A classmate likes to smoke while defecating. He just came out of the toilet and said to us loudly, "Ah, it's so cool to smoke and shit." He is dizzy.

Before 10, the first sentence when I returned to the dormitory was always "Did someone call me?" ...

1 1 Once, my roommate and I bickered in the dormitory. He said he couldn't beat me and called me "you are my grandfather's son!" " The whole dormitory 1 second is silent and then laughs wildly!

12 ate something bad once when I was a child, and wrote a sick note to the teacher the next day: "Teacher, I ate something bad yesterday and my stomach was upset. I got up in the morning and threw up. . . "Cold, I don't know what the teacher thinks.

13 Once I had dinner with my cousin at home, I accidentally poured the soup and ran out of tissues. Cousin quickly shouted: "hurry up, hurry up, go to the toilet to get toilet paper."

14 things at the same table fell to the ground, so I bent down to pick up my partner and stepped on it with my foot. Unexpectedly, I became angry as soon as I stepped on his hand: "Dare to step on my foot? ! "

15 in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XXX and said, XXX, stand on the wall for me! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The whole class suddenly caught a cold ~ ~ ~

16 A foreign teacher once showed Mandarin in a lecture in a big classroom. I wanted to give him a face and praise his standard of Putonghua, but it became your standard when I said it. It is so common and cold that everyone laughs at me.

17 and MM are in front of the stall selling soybean milk fritters. I shouted, "Boss, I want a bean paste." MM smiled.

18 Even the high school Chinese teacher said in class: You are the result of a dead cat meeting a blind mouse. . . Full of laughter!

19 When I was in the third grade, a classmate invited us to dinner on my birthday night. When I got home, I said to my mother, "Mom, my classmate invited me to dinner today!" "

There were many people in the restaurant, and I shouted: Boss, a pepper without seasoning. . . . The waiter also loudly repeated: 1 1 table, add a pepper without seasoning! ! ! . . .

2 1 I: That's our physics teacher. . .

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry. . .

My mother said to me before going out to play mahjong, "You put all your clothes in the refrigerator and put all your dishes in the washing machine."

On the 23rd, I went shopping! Suddenly I saw a crow croaking in the sky! Then a word popped out of her mouth: "alas, this frog flies so low!" I feel dizzy

I always make this mistake ... because I talk a lot. Once I read a text in junior high school, XX wandered in the corridor, and I read XX as lewdness in the corridor ... The teacher blushed.

In high school, I went out to play with my classmates. There is a China Everbright Bank next to the school, which has just opened, so the brand is still hung with red cloth ... But the cloth is hung on Chinese characters, blocking the words ... I read it as "China Everbright Bank" ... The students are crazy with laughter, and I can't hold my head for several years!

A person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then brought out a cold saying: if you drink too much urine, you will drink too much wine. ..

26 once I listened to the radio, what was the shopping guide hotline? Someone called in and the host asked him, "What's your name?" "He replied," don't take your name! ~~~~~"

Buy oranges, boss: 1 yuan 5 1 kg. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

Give grandma a quick reply: A few days ago, you were sitting on the bus and the driver of 252 suddenly braked. Your center of gravity is unstable and you rush out and ask the driver, "What can I do for you?"

Dear students: Although the instructor is really busy, when you see me in the toilet, please don't say to me, "Instructor, you are so busy, come to the toilet yourself!"

Short message category

Part I: It's windy and rainy. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

The kangaroo and monkey in the forest game were praised by the lion king for jumping high, and the bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look at you. You are still on the bridge (you are still watching! )

I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I've been worried. I'll text you right away. If you are still alive, please reply to me!