Joke Collection Website - Public benefit messages - Satire at her mother-in-law's hypocritical sentences (spit out her mother-in-law's classic quotations and behaviors)

Satire at her mother-in-law's hypocritical sentences (spit out her mother-in-law's classic quotations and behaviors)

1, "She is not as tall and beautiful as your former partner, and marrying her will make money for her family" (I overheard a conversation with her husband when I went upstairs with the door open) 2. "My colleague taught me a lot of tricks to treat my daughter-in-law, and I haven't used them all yet, hahaha. . . "(ditto, overheard this time) 3. "You are my son. I can see you whenever I want. No one can help." The source of this sentence is because my parents told us to go back for dinner and bought fish. We have had dinner with our in-laws 1 1 day. My parents missed me and bought fish to call my husband and me. My parents gave your son fish, and his mother made enemies. (fuck) 4. Before we got married, they couldn't give me a bride price. They cried at me and said they wanted to marry me, but she really couldn't give me 20 thousand. I said, I have 20 thousand yuan myself, which can be used to support your face. However, this money is for my future pregnancy and childbirth. When I don't want to get pregnant and can't go to work, some people say that I rely on my husband to support my family. I'll get my money back, and now I want to have a baby. Speaking of the money, she said there was no such thing. 5. The money for getting married is 100 1, and it will be 2002 with my father-in-law. My mother-in-law said that after the wedding, the money would still be returned to them. I said that my family handled everything this time, so you still need this change, and we got it. She's helpless. I went back from my husband and didn't know until I got back to my new house at night. 6. The wedding is jointly held by both parties. There are more than 30 tables in my house, and her house 1 1 table. At the checkout, my dad gave her a 10 table, and I didn't count the drinks. That's all my family's money, and she hasn't paid back the rest. How much did this daughter-in-law marry? 7. A month later, my father-in-law died of cerebral thrombosis. That's what I told you. In fact, the truth is that she gave her father-in-law steamed bread, and the poor old man choked to death. Cerebral thrombosis was inconvenient to move, so he died after eating steamed bread. It's pathetic and I don't want to mention it, so I keep saying that he died of illness. My mother-in-law said that she had no money and asked me to take out the wedding gift money that my relatives gave me for the funeral. Of which 6700 was borrowed, we still have 4000 left. I'll run all the dead things. Because my husband was extremely sad, he stayed at the funeral home to see his father. My mother-in-law is at home, and her neighbors and friends come to comfort her. When she left, she gave her money as a gift. Afterwards, her mother-in-law checked my account and said how she spent so much and where she spent it. I am sad. Besides, there is my money in it. What did she say to you and me? Don't say two. There is so little money (Ma Bao, I hope you understand that I don't want her to pay me back, I want a grateful attitude). My mother-in-law said that although you are a new wife, your father-in-law just died. If you wear new clothes this Spring Festival, your neighbors will laugh at you. I agreed. I don't think it's good to wear fresh clothes either. It takes three days to sweep the grave. My husband said, "My mother can do whatever she wants." 9. I was afraid that my mother-in-law would think at home alone, so I took her to my house (my parents bought me a new house before marriage). There are many minor contradictions. Basically, old people and young people have different lifestyles. It's nothing. I'm prepared. It doesn't affect our relationship. I am very patient. After living for more than 20 days, he suddenly said that he would live with us for so long. Besides, my husband didn't ask me, so he said on the spot, "Well, I won't go, I'll live here." My mother-in-law is very happy. My husband didn't like it when she asked me again. He said, "The house is yours. It doesn't matter if we say it. How long do you want my mother to live there? " I said, "There are still three months before the Spring Festival." My husband said, "You mean to tell my mother to fuck off on New Year's Eve." I said, "I didn't say that." My husband said, "You mean it's not good to spend one more day after the Tenth Five-Year Plan. You are really great. " Later, my mother-in-law stopped playing and moved back before the Chinese New Year. My husband also scolded me for letting his mother go. Looking back, my heart is shaking. My husband wants to do business, and my parents took 60 thousand. My husband lost it. I can't afford to hire workers when it is very difficult. My parents came to help, and my mother-in-law said that she couldn't do this job once and her legs hurt. But the next day, when she went climbing with her friends, her legs stopped hurting. My mother-in-law was a bricklayer and a laborer when she was young. My parents are accountants, and they lead you to say hard work. 65438+ ! Hum "(heard with the question 1, 2) My parents even used 60,000 yuan to help with their work. Are they human? 12, my mother-in-law's house is the name of my late father-in-law. One day, my mother-in-law found my house and asked her husband to notarize with her on the sofa. She said in front of me: "If it is notarized, it is my son's. I'll leave this house to you, and no one else will give it! No one can get it! " My husband is an only child. Who are you afraid of? Who is this person talking about? ) 13, when chatting, I always mentioned my husband's ex-girlfriend and said, "That child is good, but that child is my duty child. "I said, I'm not duty? She said she didn't mean that. She also said that she didn't know where the girl was, and 14 didn't come to see her. Her father-in-law died less than eight months ago. Her mother-in-law has a crush on an old man. A son is unmarried, has no savings, doesn't like talking and doesn't like working. So she chatted with the old man online at home. Her husband is very unhappy. When she saw that he didn't agree, she talked to me. I said her husband. My mother-in-law said, "It's been a hundred days." This answer makes me very helpless. I said, let's get along well first, get to know each other better, and don't move in together so soon. My mother-in-law said, "Who is like you? You just met and slept together. " I said, "You're talking about your son's ex-girlfriend. Your son has been chasing me for a long time." Mother-in-law smiled and said nothing. Then she knew the old man for more than 20 days and fell asleep. She asked the old man to go to her house, but the old man refused. She said that every time she went to her mother-in-law's house, she had a headache, and her mother-in-law accompanied him to his house. Not in the urban area, but a small county near the urban area, half an hour's drive. Because her mother-in-law's house is empty, she intends to rent it out, and her brothers and sisters don't agree with her mother-in-law to accept it. Because the old man has an unmarried son, she wants to save money for that son to get married. She said to me, "we should. When I give you money for having a baby, I don't care. "I think this is very good. After collecting the room rate, she asked me to pay all the expenses of her house, leaving 1600. I'm dizzy ~ which baby mother is enough from pregnancy to birth? 16, in the three months since the rent was rented out, I said more than 20 times, "I'm so poor, I don't have a home. Just because you want children, I have to help us with money. I don't even have a home now "(Ma Bao took the rest she rented out 1600, and I fucking pricked my hand)17,3. . . "I said," Mom, you should help us again. Your son lost his business. Now he has been decadent for half a year and can't work. He just plays games at home, and his monthly living expenses are given by my parents. How can he afford to raise children? " My mother-in-law should rent it for another year. I am very happy. I went to the hospital for an examination and found uterine fibroids. The doctor suggested observation and treatment and not having children for half a year. Tell this news to my husband. My mother-in-law/kloc-called me after 0: 00 and said, "I don't want to rent this house." I said, "because I can't have children now, you won't rent it." I'm your daughter-in-law You won't rent it when I get married. What do you mean? " My mother-in-law said I thought too much, but I just didn't want to rent it. I want to move back to 18. Come to my house and talk to me. I called my mother directly, and when she entered the room, she saw my mother there. It was very nice. "Sister-in-law, you said I was menopausal, and it has always been a dream. I said I would give your girl money to have a baby, but you said I was homesick. " My mother said, "The old man is so kind to you, and his place is your home. Besides, you have no other way to help these two children. The house is empty and has been rented out. We will help then. " Mother-in-law said, well, let's keep renting, and then cry to his sister-in-law that I bullied her. 19 won't let her go home. Maybe some precious mothers will say, maybe your mother-in-law is really homesick, don't embarrass the elderly because of this little money. No, my mother-in-law told her husband the truth. The old man's son is getting married, and there is no house to get married. My mother-in-law's house was just rented. While not giving me money to have children, I gave the old man's son a 5,000 yuan red envelope as a wedding gift. When we got married, the old man only gave him 200 yuan. They were married by their sons, and my mother-in-law had to look after the old man's son, and then said to me in front of the old man, "I won't look at your child anyway." I didn't let her see it. As for her previous behavior, I'm afraid the children will make her look like.

Add the behaviors of relatives and friends of several husbands to 2 1. Third aunt: "I'm going to have a baby." I said, I want to save some money and ask for it again (I just got married at that time). Third aunt said, "isn't your father very rich?" 22, Xiao Yan "big eyes are stunned!" Aunt with big eyes looks like Zhao Wei. "Look at this wedding photo, our LL (husband's name) looks like 23.4 years old, and CC (my name) looks like more than 30!" Aunt, "Your mother is alone now, let your mother live with you and don't move back" (my father-in-law said just after her death, but she wouldn't let her daughter live with her mother-in-law) 23. My brother-in-law: "How do you measure this relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?" My husband said, "Be fair and just." My brother-in-law is wrong! You should be loyal to your mother, because you are the only mother, LL (husband's name). You have always been very filial. Think about it. Your mother is so pitiful now. Why are you so selfish? Is she crying because she won't let your mother go home and ask for some money? (I said it five times) I really can't stand it. Explain to my younger brother and tell him the truth. The younger brother said, "I don't listen to your one-sidedness." I said, then listen to my mother-in-law. The little brother said, "Of course! She said my sister, I don't believe who she believes? " (I am * * *, and I should not defend myself. That's my own sister. I am just a nephew and daughter-in-law. Believe me or not, it's impossible. ) 24. My elder sister (from menstruation's family) lived in her husband's family 1 for several months before we got married. She sleeps on her husband's bed, on the sofa, and her underwear is still on her husband's bed. She didn't have to pay the phone bill herself for three days. Sometimes she chooses a date place, and sometimes she plays billiards. She asked her husband to teach her, they played together and I watched. At this time, she texted and her husband chatted with me. After she sent the message, her husband was still talking to me. She threw her mobile phone on the pool table. "Are you here to play or to chat?" Later, I asked if my sister was * *, which scared me to death. I went to the Internet cafe to surf the Internet. It's all for two people. When I work with my husband, she is unhappy, so I will sit with her, or my husband will invite her to dinner. There are many people in the restaurant, so this shop is very popular and brought her here. When the waiter ordered, she asked the waiter loudly, "Can I have a son by eating this?" Everyone looked at us, but she didn't know. She changed her face and ordered food, saying, "I will eat if I can have a son. I like my son" (this is the first time I feel where the generation gap between 80 and 90 is). My husband went to a nearby city to take a ticket exam and took me while she was sleeping. After the exam, we went to eat and visit the park. When she woke up, she knew that she was crazy. She called her relatives in a nearby city and said.

25, my friend's sister left, my friend will sleep at his house for more than 40 days, and we will be together every day. My friend is a fat man weighing more than 200 Jin. He wants to take off his clothes. But it's inconvenient for me to be there, so he always asks me when to leave, and it's the same for going to the Internet cafe. He wants to sit alone. He wants to sit with his husband. He also said that when he got married, he wanted to be completely with me. Before getting married, I want to find Xiao Jie for my husband. I thought this was a joke. As a result, two days before the wedding, my husband didn't come back all night. My mother-in-law thought my husband was with me, so she called me. I realized that I called my husband and he was not in the service area (buckle the battery, right? This is out of date. I even lied and added a box to admit that they were taking a bath in the hotel. After washing, I opened a room to sleep. I asked him about taking a bath, but he didn't sign in. He sleeps in the lounge where he takes a bath. He also said there was no cell phone signal there. Which entertainment venue will have no signal, then who will go? In order to confirm, check in for a bath, the signal is unreasonable! Liar ~! This is the environment where I live. These are only superficial, and I can't write them all. Ma Bao, is this dog blood? Oh, my husband said, it's all my own fault, and I can't get over it. No one said these mistakes when I didn't show up. In my opinion, no one is right or wrong. I also know that every family has a hard time, and some treasure moms are in worse situations than me. At least my mother-in-law didn't point at me and ride me. My husband is alone now and my sister is going to Beijing. I don't stick to my husband anymore, and other relatives don't meet every day, but I want to say that I married your family with a kind heart. I treat you well and respect you, and all my spirit and material things have helped you. Would you please be shameless? I'm not asking you to spoil me like your parents, but at least pretend to be an individual and don't affect our lives. I have no right to ask about your life. Please shut the fuck up in my world!