Mobile SMS

This is what I saved before, if you can use it, use it! (Some are funny, some are not funny)

31613 The fragrance of flowers and the beauty of water, find one A wisp of fragrance, playing a fashionable song, the fragrant breath is the fragrant soul of the earth, and the fashionable texture is as colorful as the clouds. Listening makes people excited, watching makes people excited, you make my heart beat. . . .

31612 A dime cannot buy fragrant roses, a dime cannot buy bitter coffee, and a dime cannot buy sweet chocolate, but a dime can convey my best wishes to you: I sincerely wish you happiness every day!

31611 I can’t help but love you, just like a bird can’t help flying, I can’t help missing you, just like a rose can’t help blooming, I can’t help but send you text messages, wanting to express my heart to you. , I can’t help but think about how you couldn’t help but smile when I saw it!

31610 I am moving. The address is No. 520, Lane 520, Si Nian Street, Xiangai Road, Love City. The landlord is you, my favorite, and the lease term is unlimited. Rent: My love, the contract is that I will love you forever, will you take me in? 520

31603 I want to turn my feelings for you into warm sunshine, hoping that the scattered light can warm your heart; I want to send my thoughts for you to the scattered stars, but May those little bits of starlight shine into the window of your heart!

31602 I don’t want to be your parallel line, watching from a distance all my life; I want to be your intersecting line, even if it is only tender for a moment; I would rather be in a straight line with you, which can extend my love for you forever!

31596 Someone liked to sing, but it was hard to hear. One day, he stopped a group of people with a knife: You must Hear me sing or I'll kill you! As soon as he sang two lines, the passerby begged him: You'd better kill me!

31595 Zai Zai was beaten by his father, so he ran to his mother to complain: Mom, if someone beats your son, what will you do? His mother said: I will beat his son to take revenge. Zai Zai: Am I not asking for a beating?

31594 A man and a woman took a train and passed through a long and dark tunnel. The man said: If I had known the tunnel was so long, I should have kissed you just now. The woman screamed: Wasn't you the one who kissed me just now?

31593 There is a person who likes to flatter the leader. Recently, this person was blessed with a son. Everyone in the company came to bless him. When the leader also came to congratulate him, the person flattered him and said: Thank you, thank you for your cultivation. !

31592 The newspaper seller shouted: Big scam! Thirty people were fooled! Someone bought a newspaper but didn't see any sensational news. But the newspaper seller continued shouting: Big scam! Thirty-one people were fooled!

31591 Warden: You were released from prison yesterday, why did you break the law again today? Prisoner: I didn’t learn the rattan craftsmanship and handbag weaving method I learned in prison, so I had to come here for tutoring.

31590 The husband came home from get off work and saw his wife tidying up the room, but he got angry: Why did you wipe the dust off the table? It has my phone number on it!

31585 As long as you fly, the whole sky will be yours. I just hope that a small corner of the sky can be left to me, so that I can quietly watch you fly... You are the one I care about all my life! ! !

31584 The drizzle outside the window was ticking, and I suspected that it was your footsteps. I raised my head, and the window was still the same. The gentle breeze and drizzle drifted to the depths of my memory again. My heart told me that I missed you. , do you miss me?

31583 You have been walking in the wind and rain for too long, looking through all seasons. Can you stay in my eyes? Missing is a kind of wine. It allows me to hold your hand tightly when I am intoxicated. It allows me to have your water-like tenderness in my confusion. I wish you still be happy today!

31582 Millions of thoughts are in the air. Solidify. Raise the wind and blow to you, with my blessings. I don't care about loneliness. I am satisfied if you are happy. Missing you is my happiness!

31575 Love is a very bitter thing, but I can't Stop giving; love is a very tiring thing, but I can't refuse lovesickness; love is a silly thing, but I still persist in it; I miss you, I like you!

31569 When I am lonely, I think of you; when I have insomnia, I want to see you; when I am happy, I miss your face; when I am in pain, I want to hear your voice, miss you, love you, miss you, hope for you, etc. You, everything is in three words: I miss you!

31568 The feeling of missing you is like: cooking without salt; apples not too sweet; drinking without cigarettes; forgetting to bring money when going shopping. I will miss you when I have time, and I will take time to think about you when I have no time. If I really can’t find time, I will do nothing but miss you!

31645 Teacher: You didn’t wash your face again? Look, even the remnants of today’s breakfast are still on your face! Student: What do you think I had for breakfast? Teacher: Jam bread. Student: Wrong, that was what I ate yesterday morning!

31644 One day, the manager loudly appealed: We must keep up with the changes in the "shit field", hurry up with construction, strive to "pee" on March 1st, and "defecate" once every six months, insist on "not leaking", and "peeing" Paint the wall with feces”!

31643 Hu was invited to give a lecture at the university. When he quoted the words of Mencius, Confucius and Sun Wen, he wrote: Confucius said, Meng said, Sun said. When he finally expressed his opinion he wrote: "Nonsense".

31642 Jack was kidnapped and the robber forced him to pay. He had to take out the few dollars he had and said "Don't kill me." One yuan is not enough for ammunition!

31641 Several students were chatting. A: I have the strongest patriotism and I never buy foreign products! B: I never watch foreign movies either! C then said: Since I entered school, which foreign language test have I passed?

31640 One day when the teacher was handing out test papers, Xiao Ming said to his deskmate Xiao Li: I scored zero on the test! Xiaoli: Me too! Xiao Ming: Then...will the teacher think we are cheating?

31639 A farmer was afraid of being slaughtered. When he arrived at his destination, he took out a screwdriver, picked his teeth and asked the driver: How much does it cost? I saw the driver took out a kitchen knife and said while shaving: You figure it out!

31638 You are a little smart, I am a little silly; you are a little delicate, I am a little rustic; you are a little fragrant, I am a little smoky; if you are angry, I will not lose my temper

31637 I always think that water is the story of mountains, the sea is the story of sails, the sky is the story of clouds, and you are my story, but I don’t know if I am your story! Today I did two things: breathe and miss you!

31636 I want to get drunk, but I am worried that I will lose my temper; I want to run away, but there is no place to step on; I want to fly, but I can only be buried by my wings; I want to be in love, but I can’t find the courage to love; I miss you, but I Always sitting in front of the window in a daze...

31623 I love holding your slender little hand, I love hugging your soft body, and I love your eyes that shine when you are naughty, I love your slightly raised lips when you act coquettishly, and your overbearing expression when you are unreasonable.

31622 In fact, you are not that good, you are just prettier, gentler, smarter, virtuous, sensible, generous and humble than other girls... I just want to ask you a question, then It's "How can I stop loving you?"

31621 I can't let go of my deep attachment to you, and every tremor of missing you is caused by you. Your gentle smile is charming and fills the cold sky. Missing you right now!

31620 Even if I pour out the ice from the entire refrigerator, it will not reduce the intensity of my love for you. Can the entire refrigerator be filled with ice? So don't worry, I will always love you!

31619 The husband came home very late, and his wife asked: Why did he come back? Husband: The company held a commendation meeting and the manager asked me to attend! Wife: You are the best! Husband: No, the manager asked me to learn from other people’s experience!

31618 A asked B: I heard that you work in a stadium. Can you get some tickets for me? B answered readily: Of course. I heard you work in a bank. Can you get me some banknotes?

31617 After a singer finished his performance, a friend asked: How was the performance? Singer: It was so popular that the audience didn’t let me leave after I finished singing. Friend: That’s a good thing. Singer: So good! They want me to give them a refund!

31616 The couple pushed the car to the repair station. The husband said: The guy who sold us the car was right. The wife asked: What did he mean? He said: This car consumes almost no gasoline!

31615 Xiao Wang was repeated a grade because he failed the exam. Although he felt unhappy, he still suppressed his sadness and left a message in the graduation booklet calmly: Dear classmates, I have something else to do, you can go first. .

31614 Although I know that distant lovesickness is very painful, I still choose to miss you; even though I know that the meeting in the dream is very short, I still choose to dream; even though I know that the heart waiting for you is very painful. It hurts, but I chose to wait forever...

The bride joked to the groom: "It's a shame to marry you, you are thirty years older than me." The groom replied disapprovingly: "I am two years younger than your mother. You still have to call me mom when you are so old!”

31566 Xiao Ming: Dad! My sister called me a gorilla the day before yesterday. Dad: My sister is wrong, why did you tell me today? Xiao Ming: I went to the zoo yesterday and realized how ugly orangutans are!

31565 The thief master complained to his apprentice: You idiot! It took us all night to open all the safes, but they were all empty. Only now did you tell me this is a safe manufacturer!

31564 A miser put a live fly in a sugar bottle and capped the bottle. Someone asked him: "What does this mean?" "Now I am no longer afraid of the servant opening the lid and stealing the candy." The rich man replied.

31563 Two friends were in a bar. One of them asked the other: "My wife doesn't know me, where is your wife?" The other replied: "I don't know, she never mentioned it. Pass you."

31562 A drunkard stopped a taxi: "Take me to the Huale Hotel." "But, sir, aren't you at the door?" The drunkard took out 20 dollars. Said: "Don't drive so fast next time."

31560 Jill went to the countryside to buy a house, but felt that the factory opposite was a bit in the way. "Oh, you don't have to worry!" the homeowner comforted, "This is a dynamite factory, it can blow up at any time."

31555 Let the vibration of the phone represent my heartbeat, and the ringtone represent my smile , the screen represents my care, the information represents my advice, I pray for you every day, may you stay away from troubles, be surrounded by sweet dreams, and let you spend every day happily!

31554 The arrow of love will shoot you to death, sweet words I will drown you, I will fascinate you with my appearance, I will blow you up with a blowing kiss, I will kill you if I loom in my sight, I will electrocute you to death, I will happily kill you after reading the text message.

31553 God once said to me in my previous life , when the goldfish closes its eyes and sheds tears, we will be separated forever. I prayed for this all my life, and finally the goldfish promised to stay in this life and not close its eyes and shed tears until death, in order to bless our lifelong friendship.

31547 Lifelong friends are like cans with no shelf life. There is no day of deterioration, only eternal precipitation. You will be the deepest concern in my heart. Without too many words, I will protect this. All the best, I wish you a safe life.

31536 A gentleman said to a young lady: Beautiful women do not need makeup. The lady said shyly: Thank you…. Unexpectedly, the gentleman said again: But I think you'd better put on some makeup!

31535 The miser said to his son who was going to school: "Go and tell your teachers that we won't pay for the world map. Just say that our family will never go anywhere in this life."

31534 Son: What would you do if I ranked first in the class? Father: Then I would be so happy. Son: Dad, don’t worry, I will never let you die.

31533 Ornithologists visit the patent registry. "I have successfully mated homing pigeons with woodpeckers," he explained, "and the resulting hybrid bird not only carries messages, but also knocks on the door when it arrives!"

31532 The hotel caught fire at night, and the guests were all Run out. A: Why are you panicking? When I heard about the fire, I calmly put on my clothes and even smoked a cigarette! A friend said: Then why don't you wear pants?

31416 MM didn’t know how to get to Tsinghua University, so she asked a professor. "Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua?" The professor thought for a long time and said: Study, and only by studying hard can you go to Tsinghua.

31415 The only girl in the department came to watch the basketball game. Suddenly, her skirt was blown up by the wind, and the boys from outside the department shouted: Oh my god, the love affair is leaked. The boys from the department said in unison with a sullen face: Please, it’s just a family scandal!

31414 I bought one as soon as I got rich. The gold watch also has a gold tooth. When he meets someone, he stretches out his wrist and says: It’s seven o’clock tonight, and then points to his gold tooth and says: Come to my house for dinner when you are free.

31413 Robbery! Jack took out the money, so he had to take out the few dollars he had and said: Don't kill me. The robber said angrily: Don't be so shameless, your few dollars are not enough for ammunition!