My son's healthy and happy growth is my greatest comfort.

April 15, 2004 is a black day for me, and I will never forget it. That morning, the child's father felt a stomachache and took stomach medicine as usual, but this time it didn't work. I quickly took him to the hospital for emergency treatment, after laboratory tests, B-ultrasound, CT and MRI. The attending doctor asked me to go to the office. As soon as I entered the door, the doctor told me that the father of the child was terminal cancer, which was like a bolt from the blue. Suddenly my legs went soft and I sat on the ground, heartbroken. I cried and knelt on the ground, begging the doctor to do his best to save my father. The doctor said he would try his best. I don't know how I got out of the doctor's office that day. In the next few days, I spent the most sad and painful days in my life.

Knowing that my father was ill in hospital, my 70-year-old mother came to me from her hometown in Anhui to help me pick up my children and do housework. I'm too busy taking care of my father. I have to go to work and have no time to take care of the children. When the child is still sleeping in the early morning, I will go to the hospital, then go to school from the hospital, and then go to the hospital after work in the afternoon until I go home at eleven or twelve in the evening, when the child is already asleep. In order to spend more time with my child's father, I run to the hospital and school every time I get off the bus. Sleep at home for five or six hours every day. I was so tired that I fell asleep in the car several times. I was still awake when I got off the bus. I sat at the finish line and then returned by bus.

Whenever I see a family of three hanging around talking and laughing, I am always troubled by a great sense of loneliness and helplessness. I think of the scene when our family went shopping together. Now the father of the child is lying in the hospital bed, thinking about the doctor's words and saying that he can last for a few months at most. At this time, my tears will come out. Several times, I couldn't control my sad mood and cried on the bus.

Many times, when I come home from the hospital, I will kneel in front of the Buddha statue and make a wish: bless the father of the child to get better soon. He is still young, our children are still very young, and our family can't live without him. Please, I will do whatever you want me to do in the future. Then I will carefully take our family photo off the wall, and my tears will keep flowing down. This was taken more than a month before he became ill. How many nights I have been holding it in a daze, and I will fall asleep when I am tired.

Because my mother can't speak Mandarin, it is difficult to communicate with children. I seldom see the sons of my father and mother. His heart has changed, and I didn't even notice it. Until one day, the kindergarten teacher called me and asked me, "What happened in your family during this time? Your son has changed a lot. He doesn't like talking, doesn't like activities, often stays in a daze, and sometimes hides. Today, many teachers helped to find it and finally found it under the bed of an empty classroom. As soon as I heard the seriousness of the matter, I told the class teacher that the child's father was in hospital, and I begged the class teacher to pay more attention to and guide the child. Since then, I sometimes go home early to play with my son and tell him stories. On Saturday and Sunday, I live in the hospital with my son and father.

In the hospital ward, a young doctor saw his son so naughty and lovely and took the initiative to chat with him: "What do you want to be when you grow up, little friend?" The son thought for a moment and then said, "I want to be a doctor when I grow up and treat patients." "Listening to his answer, looking at his innocent expression, looking at the father of the child lying in the hospital bed, my heart ached. I tried to restrain myself from crying because the doctor had told me not to cry in front of him. Then the doctor said to me, "There are too many patients and viruses in the hospital, and the children's resistance is poor. Try not to take the children to the hospital. "After listening to the doctor's advice, I occasionally take my son to the hospital to visit his father, and my son will also contact his father through mobile phone recording and text messaging.

After two weeks in hospital, I took a leave of absence for half a month to take care of him in the hospital. Because the school has a rule that I can't take time off so continuously, I took time off and on.

I spent all my family's money on seeing a doctor, as well as money borrowed from my parents' and friends' homes, and I have to pay back a mortgage of 2,800 yuan every month. In the world, innocence can play tricks on people. The child's father just resigned from the company, only to find himself sick and ready to go to work in a private enterprise. A few days after his old company stopped his medical insurance, he became seriously ill and became unemployed. I am raising all the expenses for seeing a doctor by myself. I'm so worried that I've got several gray hairs. When I was in hospital, I gave my child's aunt two fixed deposit books of 70,000 yuan, a household registration book and a password, and entrusted her to pay the medical expenses, because someone had robbed me of my mobile phone and bag before. I was worried that I would be robbed after withdrawing money. She has a car, so it is safe to withdraw money. Unexpectedly, she only paid 60 thousand, but before leaving the hospital, she divided the medical expenses by nearly 10 thousand, saying that she would give her parents alimony.

The doctor also paid the hospitalization fee, so I had to find a way to borrow money. My parents, brothers, younger brothers and sisters gave me some money to treat my father. His parents' pension is so high that they didn't give me a penny. Instead, they asked me for 4000 yuan to send some food to the hospital. The child's grandmother helped me with my child for a day and asked me for fifty dollars in front of the child. The child didn't eat at her place, but used my meal card to eat in the school cafeteria. In that case, that money is a lot of money to me.

Albumin will be injected in the next few days. Facing the average daily medical expenses of 1500 yuan, it is more than 2,000 yuan per day for several days. Seeing this situation, mother and son often cook more white rice at home, stir-fry with some oil and salt, and don't even want an egg. My mother stayed with my children for several months. She often cries when she sees my house like this. Because there is no money to buy delicious food, my mother has lost more than ten kilograms. She can't stand it when she sees me like this. I also saw that my mother was very hard. I also had my summer vacation, so I let my mother go back to her hometown. When mom came home, she asked my dad to stay with me and the children. The child was also sallow and emaciated because of malnutrition.

In order to save money, I don't want to take a two-yuan bus, but I have to run hundreds of meters and take a one-yuan bus home. A few times, I only had a transportation card and sixty or seventy cents in my pocket, which was not enough to buy breakfast. At first, the store didn't want to take credit, so I showed them my teacher qualification certificate. I begged that there had been a major change in my family, and now my family is in financial difficulties, so I will be paid in a few days. After many days, I paid back the money I owed the steamed bread.

During that time, I was the most sad and financially strapped. Sometimes I borrow money from my colleagues to buy food. In the evening, my son and I took cartons to the school trash can to pick up bottles. Sometimes, there will be games in the school playground, and many bottles will be left. Sometimes when I take my children out and drink a bottle of mineral water, my son can't bear to throw it, saying, "Mom, don't throw this bottle, you can sell it when you take it home." I am very sad to hear that, and I feel that my child has grown up and is sensible.

I took care of the father of the child wholeheartedly in the hospital. Many doctors and nurses were moved. A female doctor also advised me, "You have a nurse here. Don't come here every day It's too difficult. I'm afraid you'll be exhausted if you go on like this, and the children will be left unattended. At that time, it will be even more pitiful! " Also let me be psychologically prepared, saying that people and money are empty. I said I would spend more time with him no matter how tired I am, and I want him to live more. The doctor told me that he would not live long. I don't believe it. I want to create a life miracle for him. Massage him every day, cook him delicious soup, chat with him, and help him build confidence in overcoming the disease. Whenever I see him suffering from illness, I cry. Later, he advised me to say, "Xiaolian, don't cry any more. Your eyesight is not good. No matter how you cry, I'm not well. I like watching you laugh. As long as you stay with me in front of me and do nothing, I will be happy. I will let the carers do other things. " I held back my tears in front of him.

Some doctors also reminded me to protect my house and money (I was not there when they notarized the house before marriage). I think my husband is so ill that I can't even talk about the house. He and his family asked me to write a letter of guarantee not to remarry, saying that as long as I didn't remarry, I would be given the house and insurance. When I was young, when my children were young, I could do it. I'm afraid I can't do it when I'm old. I can't go against my conscience and promise to pay.

Due to overwork, sadness and malnutrition, I lost more than 20 Jin. When the doctor saw me like this, he advised me: "You should pay attention to rest and nutrition, and don't be too tired, or you will get sick. You should be mentally prepared, your husband won't last long. " After listening to the doctor, I cried and begged the doctor to save my father's life. The doctor said, "There is nothing we can do. This disease was discovered too late. " After chemotherapy, the child's mouth is full of ulcers and he can't talk. He can only communicate with me with pen. The scene is really terrible.

He has difficulty in eating because of the ulcer. In order to give him as much nutrition as possible, I will mash the eggs and feed them in porridge. When he has a high fever, I will put a wet towel on his forehead to cool down and then wipe his body with another towel. The doctor told me that he could no longer receive chemotherapy. After more than ten days, he was able to speak, but his visceral function declined sharply. Every time I look at my father's face deformed by illness and massage his thin body, I try to hold back my tears.

Once I couldn't help it, so I ran out of the ward and cried. When I returned to the ward, I tried to pretend as if nothing had happened, but my red eyes couldn't hide it from him, because he wouldn't let me cry from the first day of hospitalization. He said to me, "don't cry, your eyes are already short-sighted, and crying again will deepen." No matter how you cry, my illness will get worse. " After listening to his words, my tears came out again He wiped my tears and comforted me by saying, "Don't cry, I like to see you smile. As long as you sit next to me, I will be happy. "

The father of the child was envious when he saw the aunt of the hospital cleaner. He said to the aunts, "Sister, you are so happy and in good health. Health is the most important thing in this life. If I can survive, I will sweep the streets every day after I leave the hospital. " When he said these words, I saw some tears in his eyes. I was very sad when I heard what he said, and tears flowed out involuntarily.

Considering what the doctor told me, he can last another month at most. I can't control my feelings. The father cried even harder with his child in his arms. He also hugged me tightly and cried, "Xiaolian, I'm sorry! It is my stubbornness that has harmed me, you and our family. You once told me to have a regular physical examination and not to take medicine indiscriminately, but I never listened. If I hadn't resigned and had no medical insurance, you wouldn't have such a heavy financial burden. I can't walk with you for a few days, leave you and your son, leave your orphans and widows ... "Before he finished, I put my hand over his mouth. I said to him in tears, "I'm sorry!" " Don't have a physical examination at ordinary times ... I followed your temper and didn't force you to go to the hospital. If I had known this would happen today, ... even if I called 120, I would have taken you to the hospital. "That day, I snuggled up to my father, and the two of us recalled the good times from knowing, falling in love, getting married, having children to being hospitalized. We talked for more than four hours.

A few days before his death, he held his son's hand in his left hand and mine in his right hand and said to me, "If you want to raise our son well, you should first do a good job in his health. I hope he will change his name to Fangjian after finishing primary school. I hope he is healthy, so you should train him to be an adult ... "He turned to his son and said," Son, I'm sorry for your father, and you won't see him again. You should listen to your mother. The son couldn't understand his father's words and asked, "I won't see you again. Where are you going?" He was in tears, holding his son tightly in his arms, crying and saying, "Dad is going to hide in a box and fly away ..." That day, the three of us held together and cried for a long time.

Their families are the biggest liars in the world. I cried my eyes out when I learned that the child's father was in terminal cancer. His sister comforted me and said, "Sister-in-law, stop crying and take care of yourself. Even if my brother is gone, don't worry, I will treat you better, because I only have one brother, only your sister-in-law and a nephew. " What she said is so beautiful. More than ten years have passed, and many years have passed. The child's grandmother has never come to see the child, nor has she given the child a dollar, which is equivalent to a stranger.

I think, in 2000, my grandmother was in the hospital, and I took care of her in the hospital when I saw a doctor. Most of the medical expenses were paid by my father, and I spent tens of thousands on her. Besides, after she left the hospital, I only had a bonus of 400 yuan, so I took out 300 yuan to hire a nanny for her, and her retirement salary was higher than mine. When grandpa was ill in hospital, my father and I also paid part of the medical expenses. At the beginning, I was so kind to their family. It never occurred to me that when such a big change happened in my family and the father of the child was sick and dying, how could their family be so heartless?

The baby's father's sister went to work first. When the child's father went to college, the tuition was given by his sister. He wanted to thank his sister, so he wrote an inheritance and gave her my wedding house. The father of the child said that she would not be allowed to sell the house before marriage and asked me to collect the rent until the child was 18 years old, when the child had just turned six. After going to college, she was asked to sell the house and let me collect rent for more than ten years to subsidize my life. His sister verbally promised his brother not to sell. Unexpectedly, her brother just died a few months ago. At the end of 2004, he sold his house for more than 200,000 yuan and bought a new house himself. His sister is a civil servant with a high salary and a big house. However, she didn't give her brother one yuan for medical expenses. In 2006, she only gave her children 2000 yuan for travel and 2000 yuan for study, and asked me to write a receipt. Without careful consideration, I actually wrote it as the money she gave to the children. When I asked her, "You promised your brother not to sell the house and let me collect the rent. How can I sell my house now? " She even said, "This is my business, not yours." I went on to say, "How can you have a clear conscience when you cheat your brother against his will?" ? Roland, a French writer, said that it is a despicable act to go against a dying man's last wish. "You'll get what you deserve," she said. I got what I deserved. I am divorced. "You said," you used to say that you would give money to your children if you sold the house. Why don't you give it? "She also said that children will give it when they go to junior high school. However, when the child needs to pay the sponsorship fee in junior high school, under the repeated persuasion of the child's grandfather, she has always given the tuition fee of 20,000 yuan, because the child's junior high school is in a private school, and the sponsorship fee is 22,000 yuan per year. She came to see the children twice when they were in junior high school. Sadly, the child's grandfather passed away in April of 20 13. Since then, she hasn't contacted the children once, let alone paid the tuition.

The cruelty of my father's family to me and my children broke my heart. My father was in hospital for five months, and their family didn't have any money. Instead, they sent some porridge soup 4000 yuan, his father 2000 yuan, his mother 2000 yuan, and his mother helped me take care of my children for one day and asked 50 yuan. His mother was even more cruel, and asked his sister to take the insurance premium before the child's father died (afterwards, I learned that the insurance premium had already been taken away). The second will was written by his father, who just signed it. I was in front of the notary when he did the notarization (August 2007 17). I knew it would be extremely bad for me, but I said nothing. When I saw the word "will", I (if I were someone else, I would definitely not let him notarize it. Later, many friends called me stupid. I paid the notary fee, 700 yuan (part of the money my brother sent him to see a doctor). The next day (18), when I arrived at the hospital in the morning, my father said to me, "I didn't fall asleep last night." I asked him why, and he said, "I've been thinking about it all night, and I'm sorry to write my will like that!" You lived with me for 7-8 years, and you gave birth to such a good son. I didn't leave you any money, Elaine. I know that your biggest pressure in the future is a mortgage of 654.38+10,000 yuan. Don't worry, I made an agreement with my parents and my sister last night. They agreed to pay off part of the insurance premium, plus the company's money, and repay the loan in advance. " . Afterwards, the company leader said: the salesman he was responsible for confiscated the payment, and he was the manager to be responsible. A lot was deducted, but he only got back more than 10000 (in 2005, because my parents went to the company to ask for it again, no one dared to give it to the company leader, so I went to the notary office to notarize it before getting it back). But the child's father left me, and my body and mind were severely hit.

Afterwards, his mother scolded me and my son, thinking that I had to repay the bank loan of 65,438+10,000 yuan, thinking about the ruthlessness of their family. In 2004, I often suffered from insomnia and took sleeping pills for several months. At that time, my courage to live was almost gone, and I really wanted to leave this world with my father. I think of my parents and children, and I can't bear to part with them. People who know their family say that his parents and sister are cold-blooded animals and have no human feelings, that there may be only one such person in the world, and that I am unlucky and I met him. A teacher said to me, "You should regard their home as transparent. You and your children should face life firmly and live well. " Afterwards, the school gave 1000, his former company gave 1000, and my colleagues gave me some solatium. His father also asked for it, saying it was his son's legacy, and most of the money was spent on the funeral. Later, I helped my teachers at school, and I paid them back, paying them back several times. I will always remember the teachers' concern and help to me.

When the general manager and deputy general manager of the company learned that the children's grandparents came to the company to ask for money, they said to the children's grandfathers, "Look, your son is dead and your grandson is still so young. Xiaolian is your daughter-in-law and your grandson's mother. If you treat her like this, she will lead a hard life. Can your grandson live a good life? Your son has written to Xiaolian to collect money. You all have such a high pension, don't argue. Also, take out the insurance money to repay the loan, so that Xiaolian and his mother can live a good life first. Tuition fees for children to study in the future can be found. " Finally, they gave up the company's money.

At that time, I was only worried that I could not pay the loan and the house was taken away by the bank. As long as I pay enough to repay the loan, his sister won't give me the rest. His sister was persuaded by her husband to return the insurance premium to me, and my uncle took me to the bank to repay the loan. The children's uncle is very kind, and he doesn't like their behavior (I heard that they have been divorced for more than ten years now). The lawyer I hired originally wanted to go to court, and my father was very kind. He suggested that I forget my family and give my married house to his sister. All you have to do is get the insurance premium and pay back the loan.

It's really not my fault that such misfortune happened in my family. He is in poor health. He kept it from me. I was so kind to him that I gave everything. I want to spend my life with him, but an unfortunate thing happened to me. He is poor and I am poor enough. The phrase "good people get what they deserve" is not allowed in the first half of my life. I hope it will work for the second half of my life.

After five months in the hospital, I spent all my savings at home and borrowed hundreds of thousands from relatives and friends. I also knelt down and begged the doctor to find a way to save my father, but the hateful disease still took his young life. At that time, my tears were almost dry. Due to overwork and sadness, I fell ill, leaving a deep scar on my son's young mind. My son becomes more silent, timid, lacks self-confidence and easily loses his temper. Under the care of school leaders and teachers, with the help of my family and the encouragement of my students, after a period of treatment, I stood up again and started my work.

In order to let my son return to his former appearance, I am determined to face the reality bravely and support this family. I often read books on pedagogy, infant psychology and family education. The story of Hong Zhou's training of Zhou Tingting, a daughter who was almost deaf in both ears, gave me great inspiration. Whenever my son makes a little progress, I praise him in time to help him build up his self-confidence and stimulate his enterprise. I often take him to the school playground to learn roller skating, riding a bike, playing basketball and playing sand with other teachers' children. Sometimes I accompany him to watch cartoons and sing songs, and sometimes I take him to parks and playgrounds on weekends. In the process of his play, I sometimes reason with him for psychological counseling, and sometimes I teach him knowledge of Chinese, mathematics, English and daily life, so that he can learn while learning. After a few months, he finally changed and was more sensible than before. He is warm and generous and friendly with children. Every time children come to our house to play, he will take out his favorite toys and give them fruit to eat. Once, when he was practicing an exercise bike in the school playground, like a little teacher, he learned the tone when I taught his children to "bend their legs when pedaling, lean forward their center of gravity, and try to keep their legs balanced", and sometimes he helped him. The mother praised him when she saw this situation, and I praised him. Several times, he took him by bus, and there was no room in the bus. When he saw the old man and people with babies get on the bus, he offered their seats.

On some Sundays, he got up earlier than me. He fried the eggs, warmed the milk and shouted like an adult, "Mom, get up! Have breakfast! " Eating breakfast cooked by my son makes me happy and sad. The happy son has grown up little by little, and the child is cheerful and sensible. He can also do housework and take care of his family. Sadly, the child was so young that he should have been loved by his father, but his father was gone.

On the New Year's Eve in 2005, I asked my son, "Xiao Wei, what gift do you want for the New Year?" He bowed his head at once. After a while, he looked up. His eyes were full of tears. He said, "Mom, I don't want any presents. I just want my father back. " I'm sorry to hear my son's words, but I must control my feelings and keep my tears from flowing. I seriously said to the child, "Xiao Wei, do you know?" Everyone has only one life. Dad is dead and can't come back. Although dad is gone, he will live in our hearts forever. "After listening to my words, he didn't seem to understand what I mean. He looked at me with wide eyes and said, "mom, why do people only have one life?" If only people had two lives, dad could come back and play computer games and hide-and-seek with me. "After listening to his words, I was sad and couldn't help crying when I thought of the scene of the three of us having a happy holiday together in the Spring Festival in 2004. I explained to the child for a while and watched me cry. He wiped away my tears with his little hand and comforted me: "Mom, don't cry. I don't like watching you cry. Dad will live in our hearts forever. "

What impressed me the most was Mother's Day in 2005. He excitedly ran home after school and shouted to me, "Mom, come and see! See what gift I bought for you? " I asked him curiously, "What gift?" He smiled mysteriously and said, "I won't tell you first." Anyway, dad bought it for you before. Close your eyes and open your hands. " I had to do as he said, thinking, "What gift can my son give me?" He gently put the gift in my hand and said, "Mom can open her eyes." I opened my eyes and saw that it was a ring with kitty Mimi. He showed it to me and said, "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!" "At that moment, I was moved to tears like a broken bead and held my son tightly in my arms. At that time, besides being moved, I felt a lot of sadness. Later, I learned that my son bought it for one yuan in the canteen at the school gate. That money is two yuan that I bought him a pencil the other day. He only spent one yuan on a pencil, while one yuan was used to buy a ring.

Since then, my son has been able to unite his classmates at school, love labor, actively raise his hand to speak, love painting and sports, act as a math representative, be a teacher's assistant, and sometimes help me with housework at home.

The child has a strong self-care ability and studies well. He was admitted to a boarding school, and I often contacted his teacher to find out his performance at school. When he came home on weekends, I chatted with him, not only concerned about his academic performance, but also wanted to know his heart. I encourage him, cultivate his positive and optimistic attitude, and often tell him to take part in sports and enhance his physical and mental quality.

In the years since my father left me and my children, I seem to be living in the past world. Bits and pieces of the past come to mind from time to time. I once struggled in pain and gave in to fate. I have been experiencing the pain of life in my heart and living in a daze.

My college classmates learned about my situation and wrote me a letter: tribulation is also an experience of life and it is necessary. Everyone will have it, just sooner or later. Don't let it knock you down and don't let it surrender. Fall from there and get up from there. Only those who have experienced hardships will be more mature and have greater achievements. Consider it a test for you. Start from here and forge ahead to a new starting point. I believe you have this ability.

My good friend also comforted me: I am my own master and a doctor who treats my injuries. It was their encouragement and comfort that gave me the determination to overcome difficulties and the courage to live. I try my best to free myself from pain and sadness and comfort my heart. Now, in addition to studying every class carefully, I also travel in the ocean of books, learn knowledge, enrich my mind, gain spiritual wisdom and cultivate my sentiment.

As my son grows up healthy and sensible day by day, my inner pain is also relieved. I often say to the photo of my child's father: "Jun, don't worry! I will face all kinds of difficulties, face reality and overcome economic difficulties. I will scrimp and save, arrange my life in order, and I will work harder. Xiao Wei is my hope. Under the education and training of teachers and me, I will let our son grow up healthily and happily like other children and train him to become a talent. "

Time flies. In a blink of an eye, such days have passed 13, and my children have grown up. He is 20 years old and a sophomore. His height 182 cm is very handsome. He is kind, helpful, cheerful, warm and generous, humorous and artistic. He loves sports and is physically and mentally healthy. His EQ is higher than IQ. He is outgoing, sunny and independent. I did well in school and won many awards. I am the propaganda minister and the best debater of the student union. I feel very gratified to see my children grow up healthily and happily day by day.