What if my girlfriend is too controlling? Girlfriend is very controlling.

Recently, I watched a movie "I want to be with you" starring Ni Ni and William Feng. As for the content of the film, I can borrow a lyric from an old song by Richie Jen, My heart is too soft, "Love is always simple, but it is too difficult to get along with". Directly and clearly, in real life, in addition to the sweetness of love, there are sadness and mutual torture.

The content of the film is so real that many pictures can make people with stories feel the madness and despair of their loved ones. For example, women's desire for control, such as men with some "love rat" characteristics. Today, boys generally feel tired and desperate after watching movies. "My girlfriend is very controlling. What should I do? " This paper analyzes the root causes of this problem and gives the corresponding solutions.

Nini plays the heroine Meow.

0 1 How crazy is your girlfriend's desire for control? Where is the truth of the film?

Boys will say, "A controlling girlfriend is not love, but sin."

The girl said, "If you don't take the initiative, refuse or be irresponsible, that's just love rat's quotation."

What kind of love experience will it be for a controlling girlfriend to fall in love with a boyfriend who loves freedom in his bones? With the development of the story, the picture is presented frame by frame.

In the office, the man helped the female colleague out of trouble, received a small gift from the female colleague, and expressed his love through gratitude; When the girlfriend saw it, she sent flowers to her female colleague in the name of the man to test whether her boyfriend was hooking up with her female colleague.

When the male host found that the female host "harassed" the female colleague in her own name, in a rage, she broke out in front of the landlord who came to ask her to close the house, picked up her clothes and ran away from home. As soon as I got to the door, the girl slowly threatened to jump off the building on the phone, so that the boy didn't even come. After hanging up the phone, she hurried up the stairs and went home.

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The woman hates the man smoking very much, and even opposes him going out for a drink with his friends. Even when I am on a business trip, I will call regularly every night to check the behavior of boys. What was explicitly forbidden became the freedom that later yearned for. Men still smoke, just by hiding; Men will still go out to a friend's bar to find beautiful women to drink and revel, just hiding something.

The man who got a phone call from the bank in the middle of the night knew it was a girl who checked his bank card consumption record. When questioned, the woman said it was for his own good and criticized him for making money alone and spending it by a group of people. In this way, boys not only don't accept the so-called "goodwill" of girls, but feel suspicious of their brotherly loyalty.

From the beginning, I asked why I checked the bank card, a tireless question, a disdainful answer, chatting and chatting about my predecessor. Tearing is a confrontation between two people who refuse to accept it. If you can't win, run away from home immediately. The woman who was afraid of the man leaving picked up the beer bottle on the table and threatened to show it to him if he left.

Before the girl could react, the boy knocked the beer bottle on his head with the girl's hand. The sound of broken glass bottles scared the woman to stay where she was, and then the man left, with glass slag all over the floor.

Every quarrel, boys are always used to desperate escape, while women always have no principles and bottom line to retain. No matter at home or on the street, no matter who is around or who is not, you can quarrel anytime and anywhere.

The man strode forward in short-sleeved shorts and the woman trotted all the way in pajamas.

The content of the quarrel is to accuse the enemy of hurting himself. The hostess accused the boy of "seducing a female colleague at work and thinking about his ex-girlfriend", but he got "you're fucking crazy" and then walked on without looking back.

So the desperate hostess approached the driving vehicle like crazy.

The sound of screeching on the brakes made the man turn and hug the crazy woman and drag her to the side of the road.

The last straw that crushed the feelings of two people was that the man found a camera secretly installed in the woman's house. The man was angry and prepared to pack up and run away from home on the grounds of business trip to escape the control of the girls. The hostess began to compromise and begged her not to leave. At this time, the angry man feels more and more bound.

It's no good serving mainly, and the woman has to continue to be tit for tat. The two men made a desperate sound, which alarmed the police patrolling the community and the man was able to slip away.

After the man left, the woman looked for it like crazy, and the man hid it like crazy. I escaped from gay friends's house, but I couldn't escape the "gentle greetings from my ex-girlfriend".

The so-called "ex-girlfriend's greeting" is nothing more than that the woman's own number is in the man's mobile phone with the name of his ex-girlfriend, and the woman knows the man's hiding place as an "ex-girlfriend".

Ironically, the man took a bath to meet his ex-girlfriend. Just came out of the bathroom, the door opened, and the man was stunned for a few seconds when he saw that it was the woman instead of his ex-girlfriend.

At this time, the woman was in a stable mood, calmly said that she had brought clothes to the man, advised him to go home, and said that she would move out tomorrow.

The woman who just walked out of the hotel received an appraisal call from the man, asking to verify whether the woman was an ex-girlfriend.

Before the man could speak, the woman explained why she had to change her phone notes to his ex-girlfriend's name, and reminded him that she could delete them.

What is even more ridiculous is that after the woman left, the man rushed into the hotel where his ex-girlfriend was, and had a happy physical relationship with her.

I like the last scene of the movie very much. The woman with short hair found the man and asked to take her for a ride again. Listening to the sound of the engine, the story began to play backwards. If you don't meet at the beginning, then there will be no entanglement and nothing?

From the beginning of falling in love, the original intention of "I want to be good with you", in the end, only separation is the best ending. How to treat your girlfriend's desire for control when you parted ways and fell in love?

Reason one: the lack of emotional security encourages the growth of control desire. Otherwise, it can be seen that the root of the heroine's serious desire for control in the movie lies in the lack of security in her feelings. Here we can determine the corresponding importance from the categories of distance, spirit and emotion.

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The sense of security in distance refers to the sense of security in distance. The most intuitive understanding is the physical distance between two people who love each other. The more popular explanation is the long-distance love that everyone usually hears, and the distance in long-distance love is the love in distance.

Most people admire long-distance relationships, because long-distance relationships are much more stressful than ordinary couples. It can also be seen that people who have talked about long-distance love are generally extremely concerned about the distance of love in their feelings, or long-distance love rushes to the Civil Affairs Bureau. Or stop talking about long-distance relationships.

According to the secular view of love, when the relationship reaches a certain heat after love, when one of the two parties mentions cohabitation, the other party often does not object. After all, during the period of love, two people can really stick to each other's situation, not to mention having three meals a day with their loved ones. This is the best expectation and fantasy for young people to fall in love.

Cohabitation can better solve the sense of security between two lovers in the distance, which is why when we see Liang Liang of William Feng and Vivi of Nini discussing cohabitation affectionately, the expectation and happiness of the silent hostess are written on our faces.

2. Mental safety

The so-called spiritual security is the pure love of two lovers on the premise of love, regardless of material and fame. For Meow Meow, the bright and spiritual sense of security allows her to proudly tell her the joy and sweetness of finding a lover in front of her rich second-generation ex-boyfriend.

The ex-boyfriend of the rich second generation thought from beginning to end that the reason why the heroine Meow broke up with him was to find a city with more money than him. Actually, it's not. In the words of the hostess, the person she likes is the most expensive man, with only one imported refrigerator.

Not all women love men's money before they fall in love with them. A woman can only love this man, regardless of his status and wealth.

The sense of spiritual security in love is because the person you love is you and I am very happy together.

Emotional security The so-called emotional security means that when starting a new relationship, the old feelings can be handled clearly, and the broken ones will be broken. This is that both men and women are truly responsible for each other.

The reason why the movie is a road of no return for love, we get together and break up is because the man does not pay attention to the emotional distance with the opposite sex, which makes the woman more and more insecure, and then leads to the woman's almost crazy desire for control to meet his love needs.

The woman and the man made out in the rented room for the first time. Naturally, the ex-girlfriend of the man broke into the house at will on the grounds of taking what he left behind.

At this time, the ex-girlfriend is not embarrassed, and the current hostess is embarrassed.

Do you love me?

The hostess generously told her ex-boyfriend about her new sweetheart and solemnly introduced her current position to her ex-boyfriend to show that she was taken.

The man clearly knew that the woman cared about her ex, but he still kept his contact information, secretly contacted and met privately, and was easily waved away by his ex-girlfriend.

The man's love strategy of not taking the initiative, refusing and being irresponsible has gained a lot. After listening to the man telling his romantic love story, the woman turned her back sadly and wept silently. This love has since planted the seeds of insecurity in her heart.

People who are insecure are satisfied with a little firm hope.

Listening to the man say "all the girls who are more beautiful than you will die the next day", "After having you, all the girls are shit in my eyes" and "I will take you back to my home for the New Year", the woman meow can always be moved by such a firm sentence and be favored without resistance.

Later, when I fell in love deeply, the need to be firmly loved made it satisfied by the growing desire for control, and I tried again and again. I firmly believe that it is the temptation of love, but I never think it is the freedom of others' bottom line.

People who love their bones are doomed to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss. From beginning to end, the hostess meow lost. She didn't lose to his predecessor, but to herself who was full of him.

The film tells us that if a person can't give you a sense of security emotionally, the best ending is probably to go their separate ways. After all, the love of suffering is always exhausting for no reason.

Reason 2: Two people in love don't know how to communicate with each other. The most watched movies are the extreme behaviors of two people in love. They quarrel with casual people regardless of time and place. One can run away from home in shorts in winter, and the other can end his life at any time for love.

They show us how two people who don't understand love parted ways by torturing each other in the process of falling in love. In addition to the lack of security, the most important thing is that two people who don't understand communication fall in love, and the other is just fruitless love.

When the man moved, the house was full of his ex-girlfriend's things, and the man mainly threw them away. On the eve of love, the woman stopped the man's decision to create a sensible and generous present image.

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The hostess accidentally met the ex-boyfriend of the rich second generation, and when she was eating together, she met the boy who sent money to her ex-girlfriend in a panic. So there was a famous scene of knowing each other and their predecessors. Knowing that the other person is the man's predecessor, even the ex-boyfriends of the rich second generation began to envy the glory of the men who pity each other.

As lovers, the most fragrant conversation is to ask each other about their love history. If they talk well, they will divide the topic, and if they don't talk well, they will entangle. When hearing the boy's proud love story, the girl was obviously angry and shed tears, but she was unhappy.

Whether it is the first time or the last time, all the contradictions are that the boy thinks that the girl has restricted his freedom, while the girl thinks that the boy still loves his ex-girlfriend, but his colleagues in poor girl don't love her.

So after each quarrel, the problem broke out again, injuring one thousand enemies and losing eight hundred.

The content of the quarrel is always about the ex. Boys secretly send money to their predecessors and secretly send messages to their predecessors. The girl actually knows, but she just doesn't say it. She never takes out this series of behaviors of boys to clearly express her dissatisfaction. Instead, when quarreling, take out all the grievances and dissatisfaction and say them in the wrong way.

All boys are the same except girls. Obviously, the little gift that the female colleague put on her desk was to show her gratitude. If the boy refused or explained at that time, the hostess would not secretly find the contact information of female colleagues from his mobile phone to explore "harassment".

If, at first, the man knew that the woman was calling a female colleague to test the relationship between them, he could calm down and talk about it, instead of running out of the house to escape, would the woman not have suicidal thoughts to threaten?

In every scene of the quarrel, the man desperately wants to leave, and the woman desperately wants to keep him from leaving.

When love needs to be proved by life, it is the helplessness of love in the bones, but the morbidness of love also comes from this, and the incurability is the best ending of this love.

Hemingway once said, "Everyone needs someone to talk openly with him. Although a person is brave, he may be lonely.

Everyone needs to communicate with each other, let alone two different individuals as a group. Men and women in love have the same heroism, but they have different loneliness because they don't understand communication.

The man's loneliness is the suppression of his loss of freedom, while the woman's loneliness is the injustice and helplessness when she is doing something that she is moved to love but can't get a love response.

Solution: Give the other person a sense of emotional security and learn to try to communicate. After watching the whole movie and analyzing it, I finally understand that boys and girls have no choice but to break up in the end. One is a sense of security, and the other is a communication problem.

Nini, the hostess, and William Feng, the male host.

The sense of security is mainly fed back from a series of control behaviors of girls. Because of insecurity, I suspect that boys are philandering outside, sympathize with their predecessors, and have no whole-hearted interest in themselves.

The man in the movie is the most typical example of love failure, which tells us that we should clean up the old love before starting a new relationship. This is the greatest love for the present.

There is a famous saying on the Internet that "the ex cries, but the present will lose". What the incumbent lost was not tears, but a man's heart. For him, his predecessor is more important than his current one. The pity of boys for their predecessors is precisely the most fatal anxiety of girls.

Conflicts and quarrels between lovers are common, and the key to the problem, that is, whether the relationship can last for a long time, must be based on two people being able to actively communicate when facing problems and contradictions, and then Qi Xin will work together to solve them.

I saw a self-media video blog telling a story about his love. Girls and boys are free to fall in love. Girls live in cities and boys live in rural areas. The practical problems caused by ordinary secular concepts have frustrated the love process of boys and girls.

The girl's mother doesn't want her daughter to marry in the countryside. In order to be with the boy, the girl eloped with the boy and went back to the boy's hometown despite her parents' opposition. Later, in communication and compromise, the woman's parents agreed to their normal communication and the next marriage plan.

So the parents negotiated on the bride price. The specific bride price is proposed by the woman's parents in accordance with local customs. The man's parents agreed at first, but later they didn't approve. The girl didn't know until she asked the boy. It turned out that his parents said they couldn't afford that much money.

The girl discussed with her parents again and lowered the bride price standard again. The girl was full of joy and thought she was going to marry her lover, but she never thought it was the delay of the man's family.

Faced with the unhurriedness of the man's parents and the boys' irrelevant attitude, the girls finally broke up. There is too much helplessness in the girl's video. People who love each other don't even know how to part in the end.

Some people say that boys hesitate because they don't love enough, so they give up without discussing or explaining. Since then, have you found that what makes feelings fade is the refusal to communicate?

The autocratic arbitrariness of "I don't want you to feel, I just want me to feel" is not suitable for all love. Learning to communicate is a further booster for two people.

By going back in time at the end of the movie, if two people can communicate calmly after each quarrel, if boys can understand the sense of security that girls want, take the initiative to put aside their relationship with their predecessors, get rid of contact, and return to the original sweet appearance of love, isn't that also a failure of meeting and falling in love? Unfortunately, the ending of the story is not hypothetical, and some can only let go of each other and fulfill each other.

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The imperfect ending is embarrassing, but it is also alarming. May all lovers in the world be good.