Jokes Base Camp

An unexpected birthday celebration

Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called me early and said she would come to my house that evening to congratulate me on my birthday. Also give me a surprise! Heard this good news! I began to look forward to this wonderful night endlessly. I worked extra hard and got more than a dozen clients at once! Return to the company. It was already three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the cafeteria, there was only one pitiful dish and one soup left, namely stir-fried three beans (stir-fried soybeans, green beans and peas with meat) and radish soup. I had no choice but to go to customers all morning, and my stomach was already growling, so I had to order a large plate of stir-fried three beans with meat and a large plate of radish soup, and started eating! Unexpectedly, when I got off work, my stomach felt like an off-road Jeep engine - it started violent piston movement! In an instant, waves of gas rushed out of my body! I quickly rushed to a place where no one was around. My stomach started to hum softly in embarrassment, but it soon turned into a rapid-fire popping sound! My stomach is so bloated! While he was sitting there, his girlfriend called and said she had arrived home. Tell me to go home quickly. well! I had no choice but to go home, hoping she wouldn't see me in such a mess. . . . .

On the way home I made a deliberate effort to fart a lot. We're almost home, my stomach feels a lot better, and I think there won't be any more problems. From a distance, I saw my girlfriend waiting for me by the door. She looked a little excited. She shouted, "My dear, tonight, I have prepared a very wonderful gift for you that will definitely surprise you."

Before she even entered the door, her girlfriend used a piece of cloth to He covered my eyes tightly and said he wanted to give me a surprise! He also led me to the chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I felt like farting again. Just at this moment, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse saying it was too messy and asked her to go to another room to answer the phone! But she insisted on not taking off the blindfold, and even made me swear! Then he ran to another room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I took the opportunity to shift all my weight to one leg and fart out. The fart was not only loud, but also smelled like rotten eggs. I could barely breathe, so I touched the seat cushion and fanned around hard in an attempt to get rid of the bad smell. Just when I was feeling better, another fart came. I raised my legs again and started to put them! It sounded like a revving diesel engine, and the smell was even worse this time. Not wanting to suffocate, I waved my arms up the chair cushions, hoping the smell would dissipate quickly. Just when everything was about to return to normal, another fart rushed out impatiently. So I stood up, bent over, and pushed my butt back and up! Put it out. This fart was truly top-notch, even the newspapers behind him were blown to the ground. . . . .

I listened carefully to the conversation of my girlfriend in the other room. Because I had to keep my promise not to peek, I didn’t dare to open my blindfold, so I could only keep farting in the dark in order to get rid of my stomach. The gas in the air is discharged without making the room smell worse! I unbuckled my belt, lowered my underwear and trousers to my mourning clothes, exposed my butt, and fumbled to open the balcony door behind me. I almost stretched my entire butt out onto the balcony and started farting crazily. Come. . . . . . ah! I felt much better. After that, I danced and fanned the room with chair cushions, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly. . . . In this way, within the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the chair cushion. Finally, when I heard her saying goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach Everything is much better! I quickly tied on my pants, fixed my hair, and began to wait gracefully and with a smile for my dear her to surprise me.

When she approached, I had a satisfied smile on my face, looking gentle. My girlfriend first apologized to me for taking such a long time on the phone, and then asked me if I had ever secretly lifted the cloth.

After I assured her that I was not peeking, my girlfriend removed the cloth covering my eyes and said to me, "It was an accident! My girlfriends insisted that I take them to see you today. They said you were here." The photos are very graceful and handsome! You see, the five people sitting at the table are all good sisters in my work, and the six standing on the balcony are my best friends in school! "At this time, I was extremely shocked and horrified to find that there were a lot of girls sitting around the dining table opposite me, and there was another group of girls standing on the balcony behind me. They were all here to participate in this event that I felt very special about. An unexpected birthday party.

Now, each of them is looking at me with a speechless expression on their face. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

How to tell the authenticity of RMB?

Prepare one hundred yuan. Fold it in half and then fold it in half again. Put it on the ground and step on it. Pick it up and see if there is anyone on it. Nosebleeds, if there is bleeding, it is real. If there is no bleeding, it is false.

A county magistrate with a heavy accent went to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, Pickles are too expensive! ”

(Translation: Comrades, villagers, please pay attention! Don’t talk, it’s a meeting now!!)

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host People said: "Please pick up pickles, sausages and pickled melons!"

(Translation: Now let's invite the township chief to speak!)

The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal. We are all big bastards!”

(Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, let’s all have a big bowl!)

If you don’t want pickles, I’ll pick up a dog. I'll lick my shit for you. ． ．

(Translation: Don’t talk, I’ll tell you a story...)