Batu: I don’t want to talk about Yingda’s partiality, but this kind of “fatherly love” has made me successful.

“I’ve been so nervous these days that my stomach hurts and I can’t sleep well.” This is when Yingda was the guest commentator for her youngest son Ying Rudy’s first ice hockey show at the Winter Olympics and connected with reporters. What to say.

Yingda and Yingrudy were on the hot search at the same time. What people are talking about most is not Ying Rudy's skills in football, but more about Yingda's aversion to her youngest son's deep fatherly love! One of the well-known journalists said bluntly on his Weibo: "I really don't like Yingda at all..."

Why? A father can never love his son too much. Why does it cause resentment in others?

If a father has two sons, and he only devotes all his fatherly love to one son, but ignores the other son, and does not even give him a penny for living expenses, what will you do? Do you think this is normal?

If you were the unpopular son Batu, how would you treat such a father?

Let’s talk about the story of the two brothers Ying Rudy and Ying Batu.

01 Parents’ grudges lay the foundation for disaster

Batu is the son of Yingda and his ex-wife Song Dandan. When his parents divorced, he was only 7 years old and didn't know much. Speaking of the divorce between Yingda and Song Dandan, it’s really a bloody drama. This may have laid the foundation for Yingda's later cold-blooded treatment of Batu, or at least found an excuse.

Before the divorce, the two had originally promised to reconcile and break up on friendly terms. But on the day of applying for the divorce certificate, the message from the BB phone that Yingda left on Song Dandan's car came. I saw the other party asking: "Where are you? How is the procedure going?"

Song Dandan took a look and knew that he had been tricked by those two people. Coupled with the years of grievances she suffered and Yingda's indifference to her, her bad temper suddenly rose. From then on, the two people's grudges continued after their divorce. The person who sent Yingda a text message was his current wife Liang Huan, Ying Rudi's mother.

Originally, when Yingda and Song Dandan got married, they were in love and their parents were very satisfied. Yingda was from a wealthy family in Beijing, and Song Dandan was also the youngest daughter from a well-known scholarly family.

The two naturally lived a very sweet life after their marriage. It's just that Song Dandan was already famous for the TV series "Finding the World Back" at that time. Not many people know who Yingda is.

What brings the three of them together is the same work of the three of them: "I Love My Family" directed by Yingda, screenwriter by Liang Huan, and starring Song Dandan. This TV series was my country's first indoor sitcom. When it was broadcast every night, it was no exaggeration to describe it as a packed house.

During the filming, Yingda was the director and Liang Huan was the screenwriter. The two of them discussed the script and communicated more about the plot together. In addition to acting, Song Dandan also has to take care of the children and the elderly at home. Although various media broke out various scandals between Yingda and Liang Huan at that time, Song Dandan also felt that something was wrong with Yingda, but there was no real evidence, and Yingda refused to admit it, so Song Dandan did not delve deeper.

As Yingda became more and more famous, he later used various excuses not to go home. Song Dandan was also a woman with a lot of personality. One day, she called Yingda and said, "I'm having an affair. Let's get a divorce!"

Who knows, Yingda immediately agreed, which was quite good. He said gracefully, "Let's break up peacefully." It means that he is a man of magnanimity and he will not cause trouble in the city.

On the day of the divorce, when they were on their way to the Civil Affairs Bureau, Yingda showed tenderness to Song Dandan, as if her love was still lingering, and even sang her a song "Make Me Happy and Let Me Worry".

I think at the beginning, Song Dandan was just immersed in the sad melody of the song and the helpless parting scene of "loving Youyou, hating Youyou", wanting to stay but being "unable to keep", and thought how much the other party loved her. Reluctant to part with it. In fact, what the other party wants to express may just be the song title itself: "Make Me Happy and Let Me Worry", which may be more about joy.

But when the two went to apply for the divorce certificate, Yingda forgot the marriage certificate and BB machine in the car. When Song Dandan went to get the marriage certificate, she saw the line that made her furious of text messages. In the end, they failed to break up peacefully, and the seeds of trouble were laid since then.

Later, Song Dandan talked about her married life with Yingda in her autobiography "The Depths of Happiness", and of course also talked about the scene on the day of divorce. Unexpectedly, Yingda directly scolded her for being "exhibitionist". This deepened Yingda's hatred for Song Dandan.

People say that love is a matter between two people, marriage is a matter between two families, and divorce is of course also a matter between two families.

This means that if two people get divorced, not only the parties involved will be harmed, but also their respective relatives. Especially when two people have children, the most direct victims are the children. Batu is no exception.

02 Two brothers, same father but different fates

After Yingda and Song Dandan divorced, Yingda had a "flash marriage" with Liang Huan in just over a month, which further confirmed the past relationship between the two. The relationship is not simple. Song Dandan went to the United States alone with emotional pain and loss.

But just a few months ago, Batu celebrated his 6th birthday. Dad, mom and grandpa all wrote him a letter on his birthday. Yingda wrote in a letter to her son: "Dad is very sad. I can't play with you as often as the fathers of other children. Dad wants to say sorry here."

In Yingda's letter, there is a father's guilt for not being able to accompany his son, but more of it is his love for his son. So when the adults gave this letter of faith to little Batu, he was happy and waved his little hand to his father, saying it didn't matter.

The warm scene has not yet faded from his memory, and the world in front of little Batu has become completely different. My mother went to the United States, and there was another woman by my father's side. And that letter was the warmest memory left to him by his father Yingda.

Children are the flesh that falls off the mother’s body. Wherever the mother goes, she holds her heart. Batu was brought up by Song Dandan with great effort. After she arrived in the United States, she quickly regretted not taking Batu with her. Therefore, she later returned to China desperately and asked for Batu's custody rights.

From then on, Batu left Yingda. What he didn't expect was that he would also lose the love of his biological father. Batu never saw his father again, not to mention gifts, not even a greeting. Even Yingda was unwilling to bear the father's obligation to raise minor children. He never gave Batu a penny.

There is a saying: without comparison, there is no harm.

Even if Yingda doesn't give Batu a penny or a greeting, everyone can live their lives quietly and the world will be considered peaceful.

But since Yingda had his youngest son, he has been full of fatherly love posted on his social platforms or shown on TV. Let people witness his full fatherly love, which filled every stage of Ying Rudi's growth. This is evident through this Winter Olympics.

When Ying Rudy was young, Yingda didn't know Ying Rudy's interests. They bought a piano for their son and wanted to cultivate his son into an artistic talent. When she discovered that her youngest son had great potential for ice hockey, Yingda spent a huge amount of money to build a private ice hockey rink for her son to facilitate his son's practice.

Later, he sent his son to the United States to study and let his son practice and compete in top ice hockey clubs. Yingda himself said that he did not hesitate to spend money and spent money like water, saying that he "continued his career."

When his son participated in various ice hockey games, he was not afraid of being tired and let him take care of him. From his conversation with reporters, he said that you can tell the material of the skates by looking at the skate boots. It is not difficult to see that he is a complete expert. This shows how much he cares about his son.

In social life, people talk about fairness. In terms of emotional life, people have a saying that a bowl of water should be balanced.

Ordinary people know that even if a couple has not come to an end, after reorganizing their families, before the children reach adulthood, they must fulfill their responsibilities and give them the love they deserve. They must do their best to the children of both parties. Keep the bowl of water level.

What's more, Yingda graduated from Peking University with a major in psychology. He should know that he favors his younger son, and shows off his attention and companionship to his younger son in various media, and his lack of care for Batu. No matter how much it hurts. So Song Dandan often scolded him tit-for-tat for being "not a human being."

So this time when he paid attention to his younger son, people did not praise his great fatherly love. They were more weighing the weight of his fatherly love between his two sons. .

03 What should you do if you unfortunately meet eccentric parents?

Have you noticed that although Song Dandan had seen Ying Daxiu’s kindness to her youngest son on TV or other platforms before, and when she fought against Batu and shed tears, we did not see Batu’s kindness to her. Yingda made any comment.

He stopped talking when he was young, but now he is the father of two children. Even though Yingda once again ran for his youngest son this time, we still haven't seen Batu say a single word.

Some people may say that Batu is not relieved by doing this. So let me ask you, if you were Batu and unfortunately met an eccentric father, what would you do?

There is a very interesting answer on Zhihu. Because many people liked it, netizens also specially improved it.

The original question is: How to get revenge on parents who are partial? This netizen gave four plans, namely:

"Plan A" with "brotherly loyalty". Invite your classmates or friends to your father's house to beat and smash them, and accuse them face to face of the injustice they have done to you.

Needless to say, this method is illegal. If the emotions of both parties were not well controlled at that time, something bigger would probably have happened, and it would be hard to say that it would get out of hand in the end.

For example, the Social and Legal Channel reported a case in Zhejiang: On December 4, 2016, 20-year-old Xiaofeng treated his stepmother and half-brother as equals because he was dissatisfied with his eccentric father. He was killed in a cruel way at home because his younger brother had a small dispute with him.

When the reporter asked him why he killed his stepmother and younger brother, especially the younger brother who was only a few years old, he said it was to take revenge on his father, so that his father would be "shocked" when he saw that scene. .

But the scene that shocked his father was different from what he had imagined. When the reporter told Xiaofeng that his father would get married again and have a son, he suddenly realized that there was no point in doing so and immediately regretted it. However, can the law give him a chance to regret?

Therefore, Plan A is to try the law by yourself. The worst result is that both sides will suffer losses. Don’t do this!

The next step is Plan B of "direct complaint". It's a bit like Batu's approach. Never interact with each other until death, ignore it, let go as much as possible, but never forgive.

But there is something worth noting about this, and it is still a legal issue. When an eccentric parent (parent) gets old, no matter whether he has fulfilled his duty to support you or not, the children still have the duty to support the elderly.

Plan C provided by netizens is to find a suitable opportunity and a suitable place with the eccentric parent (parent), sit down and have a good and heart-to-heart talk. Talk to each other about what is on their mind and tell each other how you feel.

The last one is Plan X, a repayment of evil with kindness. Even if nothing happened before, I would treat him twice as well.

Which plan is better? Everyone’s perspective is different, and the choice may be different. In short, don’t do Plan A, it’s illegal! That's the stupidest behavior! So dear friend, which method would you choose?

Write at the end

As the saying goes: "Every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite."

Celebrity families are like this, and we ordinary people have similar situations in their families. If we ourselves unfortunately encounter eccentric parents, that is a fate we cannot choose.

But when we become adults, we can choose our own way of living.

Mentality determines how to live. When something cannot be changed, we should not dwell on it. Change our mentality, change ourselves, and make ourselves stronger. For example, make more close friends, learn one more skill, and read one more book.

When I stand higher, I see more scenery.

There is a saying that goes, "Forgiving others means letting yourself go." It's a wonderful thing to live a life without psychological baggage, don't you think?

Friend, if you were Batu, how would you treat your eccentric parents?

Author: Chunlan

Reviewer: Jingxin

Proofreading/Image search: Mancha

Editor: Fenghe

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