Yu Qian's lines of kneeling for Degang Guo in Kua Mansion and online. If you get it right, you get extra points. urgent

(brief communication with the audience)

Guo: I know both Yu Qian and him.

Y: it's me.

Guo: We have cooperated for more than ten years.

Y: not short.

Guo: Thank you for your support.

Y: You are always so polite.

Guo: Hey! To tell the truth, I watched brother Qian degenerate into this step by step …

Y: what's wrong with me? What am I getting into?

Guo: It helped me get where I am today.

Y: You can't say that either.

Guo: Really.

Y: ah.

Guo: There is no such person in China.

Y: really?

Guo: Look, it is said that cross talk makes your head look like a chrysanthemum.

Y: ah ... like chrysanthemums? Don't pick chrysanthemums.

Guo: I sat backstage and took a nap that day.

Y: ah.

Guo: I took a nap and fell asleep.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I opened my eyes for a while, and my tears came down.

Why are you crying?

Guo: Dreaming.

What's your dream?

Guo: I dreamed that a perm increased my money.

Y: I'm too worried about this.

Guo: Everyone loves beauty.

Y: Then you can't care about money.

Guo: But to be honest.

Y: ah.

Guo: He is different from ordinary crosstalk performers.

Y: Why, what's the difference?

Guo: In cross talk.

Y: ah.

Guo: This is the most avant-garde and fashionable.

Y: Hey, this person should be very fashionable.

Guo: Brother Qian was the first person to play Weibo in Deyun Society.

Y: I applied before.

Guo: As soon as he entered the backstage, he took his mobile phone and used it to brush the screen.

Y: Just for fun.

Guo: We don't understand it yet.

Y: ah.

Guo: What are you doing here?

Y: ah.

Guo: Weibo.

Y: that's right.

Guo: What's the use?

Y: ah.

Guo: It's quite fun.

Yes

K: Just this one.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: It's quite coke.

Y: why?

Guo: Put the cigarette here as soon as you enter the backstage.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Never look back.

Why? Where is it?

Guo: Maybe a child took it as a joke.

Y: They all make fun of me.

Guo: Brother Qian was in no hurry and didn't shout.

Y: What's the hurry?

Guo: Send a Weibo to make fun of it.

Y: Will this happen again?

Guo: I must know the children backstage.

What are you writing?

Guo: Just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't know.

Tell them to give them some.

K: Five minutes.

Y: ah.

Guo: His wife sent a message.

Y: What are you talking about?

Guo: Excuse me.

Y: Er ... How many cases have I solved?

Guo: Scared me into a cold sweat.

Y: What can I do for you? ..... What can I do for you? Don't mix this in.

Guo: This thing has been in a flash for more than ten years, and it is peaceful, and ...

Y: Well ... always stirring up trouble.

Guo: Well ... you can't play too many jokes on him.

Y: This is friendship.

Guo: Broad-minded.

Y: I think so.

Guo: What does this mean?

Y: ah.

Guo: Children in big families are just different.

Y: Well, you can't say big family.

Guo: How high your heart is, how wide your horizons will be.

Y: Hey, broaden your horizons.

Guo: It belongs to a serious family.

Y: You flatter me.

Guo: I have money from a small family.

Y: richer.

Guo: I'm not praising you. This kind of praise is meaningless. Tell the truth.

Y: ah.

Guo: For example.

Y: ah.

Guo: Teacher Yu ate milk until she went to primary school.

Y: I did break it later.

Guo: In that family, the child is sick, weaned at the age of one, and the mother has to go to work.

Y: make money.

Guo: I have that pet. 2 years old!

Y: this is not short.

Guo: You have to pinch the milk.

Y: ah.

Guo: When you are three years old in the countryside, you are a great person. family

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Eat until school.

Y: Er ... that long.

Guo: Why?

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: The pets at home. Then I grew up.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I can eat by myself when I am old.

Y: oh.

Guo: Well, to be honest, compared with others, we don't order food.

Y: why?

Guo: Let's fry a potato, get a lentil, cook an eggplant, and then have steamed bread and bean curd for dinner.

Y: oh.

K: Well, I'll pay attention.

Y: how to pay attention to the law?

Guo: For example, chicken and chicken soup.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: It must be the hen of that year.

Oh, girls.

Guo: I told you, it's useless.

Y: oh.

Guo: When you press it with your hand, there is a herringbone on the hen's chest.

Y: ah.

Guo: If you press the herringbone with your hand, it will be soft.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Less than a year.

Y: not grown up yet.

Guo: Too particular. Hey, in this line of work, making soup.

Y: Boil it.

Guo: Here, have a drink.

Y: oh.

Guo: Hey, eat beef and cucumber strips.

Y: What are cucumber strips?

Guo: There is a muscle (tendon) on the cow's ass. It's called cucumber strips.

Y: it's too narrow.

Guo: That meat can be eaten raw.

Y: wow.

Guo: Pay attention.

Y: Eat that tender energy.

Guo: Let's have a tripe.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Just eat belly kernel.

Y: The stomach is tender.

Guo: I have eaten the kernel in my stomach. I have seen it. It is white.

Y: ah.

Guo: What is belly kernel?

Yes

Guo: A sheep has a bulging muscle on its appetite. Cut it off.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: The weight of a sheep 100 Jin.

Y: oh.

Guo: How much can you shoot? Less than one or two, seven or eight dollars.

Y: boy.

Guo: It is said that a plate of belly needs six or seven sheep.

Y: Put together a plate like this.

Guo: Too particular.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Eat pork tenderloin.

Y: What are fillets?

K: The loin is divided into different sizes. Tenderloin is a rib with bones and meat removed. Large fish fillets.

Y: How about fish fillets?

Guo: Removing the meat from the inside of the spine is called a small fillet.

Y: That's not much, is it?

Guo: Too particular.

Y: oh.

Guo: To buy meat, he has to stand there and watch for himself.

Y: You must choose.

Guo: Look at this butcher picking him up.

Yes

Guo: Go to that station.

Y: ah.

Guo: Hoo, hoo, hoo. ...

Y: Who is a pig?

Guo: Happy.

Y: Why should I do this?

Guo: What he means is: I want this.

Y: ah.

Guo: I dare not lie to him.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Turn it off and weigh it, say 3 kg.

Yes

Guo: Not enough.

Y: What should I do?

Guo: The butcher sympathized with him. There is also a pig's head, and the pig's face is cut into pieces and given to you for free.

Y: have a look.

Guo: Not even.

Y: why not?

Guo: Here! I am shameless!

Y: I haven't heard of it. Does anyone talk to people like this?

Guo: No pig face.

Y: You bring out the word pig.

Guo: Too particular.

Y: ah.

Guo: Including getting dressed. This is the traditional costume for stage performance. Put on your clothes under the platform. You can look stupid.

Y: How silly?

Guo: Mother instrument is the world.

Y: I haven't heard of it. I am a man, and I am still a mother.

Guo: Pay attention.

Y: ah.

Guo: Go out to play after work.

Y: Ah, I like this one.

Guo: Travel around the world and see the beautiful scenery.

Y: travel.

Guo: I can go anywhere, even for half a day today.

Y: Go for a walk.

Guo: I perform at night and have nothing to do during the day.

Y: get out.

Guo: In the morning, the whole family drove a car and drove a big RV.

Y: right.

Guo: Let's go to hell!

Y: What if we die?

Guo: Look at the one with red leaves.

Y: Look at these red leaves ... It's called going to the Western Hills.

Guo: Sorry, my legs are not very flexible.

Y: poor legs?

Guo: There is something wrong with the river head.

Y: That's called going to Xishan.

Guo: I'll be happy in three or five days these days.

Y: go out of town.

Guo: Calculate the time, where to go and how to be happy.

Y: ah.

Guo: Awesome.

Yes

Guo: And I like to ask where there are natural and man-made disasters. Where is the heavy rain? I have to go. Listen, I'm happy. This is a once-in-a-century experience.

Y: What mentality?

Guo: I like watching all the snowstorms.

Y: ah.

Guo: I heard that there was fog in Harbin the other day.

Y: What's wrong with the smog?

Guo: I'm so happy. I'm jumping around the house.

Y: How did the live fish come out?

Guo: Happy, drive to Harbin-I've never seen smog!

Y: Have I ever seen smog in Beijing?

Guo: You weren't there those days.

Y: Oh. I don't draw the curtains either. I ...

Guo: Hey. Drive, Harbin. It's silly to go to Harbin.

Y: huh?

Guo: I can't see. I can't see my fingers.

Y: Those days were great.

Guo: Get off at the station.

Y: look.

Guo: Who is it? It's silly to stand here

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: There stood a big brother in front of him. He quickly asked someone, "Excuse me, how can I get there?"

Y: ah.

Guo: People are kind: "Go that way, go straight, take the main road." "Thank you, big brother, but you are still great."

Yes

Guo: How do you know each other so well?

Y: right.

Guo: I'm also here to find my way.

Y: ah.

Guo: I found the way, but I can't find the car.

Y: boy. How big is this fog? This.

Guo: Don't always play with China. Go abroad to play.

Y: going abroad.

Guo: Almost, almost, both.

Yu: The country in front of us.

Guo: Only the cannibals in Sydney and Guinea haven't left yet.

Y: A a little further.

Guo: I heard that all the invitations were sent there.

Y: ouch! It's on the table.

Guo: As soon as you arrive at the airport, you can tell whether this person has been abroad.

Y: really?

Guo: Some people, who don't go abroad much, always don't go to the airport for security check: "Take off this coat." "Why take off your coat?"

Yes

Guo: Look-if you take out that mobile phone, or if you have that boot to take off, you have to check it after the security check.

Y: ah.

Guo: Teacher Yu is familiar with it.

Y: I always go abroad.

Guo: People who passed the security check also said, hey, it's all ... put it on! Put it on! "

Y: naked? I'm familiar with it. I went to the airport to take a bath.

Guo: Put it on!

Y: you don't have to wear it.

Guo: Go everywhere.

Yes

Guo: Have you ever been to New Zealand?

Y: of course.

Guo: That place in New Zealand is quite interesting, with mountains and water.

Y: nice place.

Guo: The locals call this money New Zealand dollars.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Because some people used to call it New Zealand.

Y: ah, yes.

K: That currency is called New Zealand Dollar.

Yes

Guo: When local people praise anyone who is particularly rich, they say that this person is too New Zealand dollars (Niu B).

Y: Ah ... never heard of it! This is not New Zealand's boast. This is a boast from Beijing.

Guo: Bragging is just being too rich.

Y: There is no such thing.

Guo: Teacher Yu spent a lot of New Zealand dollars there.

Y: I have a lot of New Zealand dollars.

Guo: Hey ~

Yu: ...

Guo: Just to eat seafood.

Y: fresh.

Guo: Teacher Yu went to eat the freshest food.

Y: really?

Guo: Pour a bottle of red wine and tie the menu.

Y: napkins.

Guo: Take a knife and fork and sit there. There will be big plates and seafood later! There are seaweed and kelp.

Y: mm-hmm ..... Never heard of it! What's it like to eat out in Shanghai? Ah.

Guo: Very happy. Well ... I've been everywhere, and I've been to Singapore.

Yes

Guo: He took me there.

Y: right.

Guo: It's not my first time to Singapore. Stay away from us. I haven't been there.

Y: ah.

Guo: Brother Qian took me to the street. Really very clean.

Y: right.

Guo: Garden City

Yes

K: Yes, it's a little hot.

Y: ah, that.

Guo: We went shopping in Singapore.

Y: ah.

Guo: Walking, facing a girl.

Y: girl.

Guo: I have been in the entertainment circle for many years and met many actresses.

Yes

Guo: Not as beautiful as this girl.

Y: Oh, is this nice?

Guo: Walk with a face, hug Yu Qian, hug and kiss.

Y: enthusiasm.

Guo: I am a silly child, open the door!

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: After the kiss, I asked the girl, "Do you know Yu Qian?" "I don't know."

Y: I don't know what to kiss.

Guo: "spitting is not allowed in Singapore."

Y: Eh ... Poof! Why is it so disgusting? Treat me like a spittoon. Here?

Guo: Very good, very good.

Y: What's delicious?

Guo: I have been there. What's the name of that place? Las Vegas.

Y: That's an American city.

Guo: Cities built on the edge of the desert did not exist in those days. They were built just for fun. When he gets there, he will have to rely on it.

Y: I like playing.

Guo: Boy, this casino is just like this North Exhibition Theater.

Y: It must be this big.

Guo: Brother Qian, you can get water from a donkey.

Y: Like a donkey drinking water? That's like a duck to water.

Guo: Like a donkey getting water, like a sticky cake.

Y: Hey, what the hell is this?

Guo: It's just like a sesame seed cake.

Y: Or burn donkey meat.

Guo: Here, ouch ~ He, here guessing shells, here knocking on three houses, here frying golden flowers.

Y: There is no such project.

Guo: Everyone in the casino is stupid: Where did this grandson come from?

Y: Well, everyone was scolded.

Guo: The little girl wore a short skirt and burned her head. She paints beautifully.

Y: ah.

Guo: Bring a plate and all kinds of drinks.

Y: That's the waiter.

Guo: No money.

Y: Help yourself.

Guo: Help yourself!

Yes

Guo: He is happy: suck ~

Why are you so greedy?

Guo: Hello?

Y: It's one thing to communicate in America.

Guo: Just this sentence. "hello?" The waiter was happy: "fellow villager?"

Y: Are you from Henan? Where did you meet a man from Henan?

Guo: Drink, drink with your life.

Y: ah.

Guo: Very happy.

Y: that's right.

Guo: Once he took me to a place called Belgium.

Y: We have been there once.

Guo: We, where did we go abroad that year?

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Brother Qian took me there. Brussels, Belgium.

Y: go and play.

Guo: It's not enough to get there. Oh-it's like this abroad. I didn't expect that. Why are there so many statues of children?

Y: Oh, the statue of the child who peed.

Guo: I don't know which one of you has been there. Belgium is like the image of the city there.

Yes, yes, yes.

Guo: A little boy stood there urinating.

Y: the water is gone.

Guo: Ah, right, right. There is water on the wall, by the pool and on the ground, and they all pee outside.

Yes

Guo: I said, "What does this mean? What is this? Is this like the Terracotta Warriors? This. "

Y: What Terracotta Warriors?

Guo: Brother Qian said you didn't understand this, did you? Look at this water. It's like holy water to the locals.

……………………

I'm exhausted. I won't fight. You can fight for the last five or six minutes ... If someone later copies mine and plays for me for the last few minutes, please see who started it ... Don't let me waste so much effort. ...