Where are the funny messages? Oh, I need some friends to give me some thanks!

1. The monkey picked up a card and climbed to the branch to see what it was. Unexpectedly, a lightning strike hit it, and the monkey cried and said, "It turned out to be an ‘IP' card! ! "

2. The minister of family planning made a general survey in the countryside and asked the old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer replied with a simple and honest smile: relatives, hehehehehehe ... hehehe, it's too familiar to start!

3. A girl holds a cat to buy eggs, and puts the cat on the booth to pick eggs. The male stall owner praised the cat: Your boobs are so big! The woman was angry and didn't speak. The stall owner said, Your boobs are so white! The girl is furious: If you talk nonsense again, I will crush your eggs!

The driver who lives in the country brings the green corn from home to the director to please him. The director said politely, "This is not good, it will cost you money." The driver said, "Nothing. Here, these corn are all for pigs. "

5. The director and the section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't put it there. Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: you can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you

6. The little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?" Mother prevaricated and explained the process of reproduction for half a day. The son said in a daze after listening, how did this happen? The deskmate said he was from Shanxi!

7. A company recruited a girl whose English name is spring. The secretary wanted to show off her English level and shouted, "Chun, it's your turn." ...

8. A singer sings a song, four judges faint three, and the last one holds the singer's hand tightly with tears in his eyes: talent! People want money to sing, but you can sing hard!

9. I asked my boss for a week's leave to decorate my house outside anonymous. After a week, the house has not been renovated, so we have to send a telegram to extend our leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I haven't finished sexual intercourse, so I'm going to take a week off.

10. Silly root was cheated out of all his money by a swindler and had to help people do odd jobs to sell aquatic products in his hometown. From then on, his loud cries echoed in the market all day: the world ~ squid! The world ~ squid!

1 1. A host spoke before the game: "You should wait until I say' Go' before answering." Then he further stressed: "Be sure to wait for my' start' to come out and grab it!"

12. Mom taught Xiao Ming: "How can you be an ignorant child?" Uncle is here, why do you still want to go to the zoo to see bears? "

13. Xiao Zhang said to Xiaoli with concern, "It's raining, don't forget to bring an umbrella. Getting wet is a trivial matter, and gonorrhea is in big trouble! "

14. A man panicked and rushed out of the snack bar. A woman was holding a hundred-dollar bill in her hand, chasing it crazily and shouting "Give me back my virginity". Passers-by are at a loss. The woman caught up with the man and threw the hundred-dollar bill to the man, who gave the woman dozens of dollars. It turned out to be "give me back the real money"

15. A: "Alas, my girlfriend and I went to the mountains for a holiday last holiday and died." B was shocked: "Huh?" A said shyly, "I have a small life with my girlfriend."