Classic quotes from TV series and mobile phones

Classic quotations refer to records of those words that are full of philosophy and special meaning. Classic quotations generally come from the original base of classic quotations and are generally used in formal styles. It now refers to new entries generated by celebrities’ words, netizens’ opinions, and social events that can arouse public excitement, be thought-provoking, and have certain communication power.

1. The oral message sent by Yan Shou Lu Guihua to her husband Niu Sanjin was repeatedly played by the loudspeaker of No. 3 Mine and turned into a ballad (in Henan dialect) that was circulated among the miners of No. 3 Mine: ?Niu San Jin/Three pounds of cattle/Your wife’s name is Lu Guihua/Lv Guihua, let me ask/Have you come back recently?

2. After Fei Mo quarreled with his wife Li Yan, he went downstairs to walk the dog To relax, unexpectedly, the dog is not up to par downstairs. This dog is a male dog. When he saw another male dog approaching, he struggled to climb on someone's body. The female owner of the other dog frowned, pulled her dog and cursed: "Disgusting"; Fei Mo also pulled his dog and kicked it, saying in rich Sichuan dialect: "Blind, people are fair too" !?

3. On the train back to Yan Shui’s hometown in Henan, Shen Xue told a Henanese joke: A Henanese is a coward who always gets frustrated when he goes out, so he practices push-ups at home every day. The father asked: My child, what are you doing? The son said: I am learning to practice pectoralis major on TV. Dad slapped him: Practice is useless, no matter how hard you practice, you will never be as good as your sister.

4. Also on the train, Yan Shouyi’s old lover Wu Yue suddenly called and the other party was very angry. Because Shen Xue, the new love, was by his side, Yan Shou was afraid that Wu Yue would not know the importance of what he said, so he pretended to be stupid and shouted at the throat: "Ah? You are talking, can't you hear me? Can you speak louder? Can you hear me? The signal is not good." Okay, I was on the train, going back to my hometown. Sure enough, the other party hung up the phone. At this time, Fei Mo said leisurely: "It looks like it. It really looks like it." I heard it all, but you couldn't hear it. ? Yan Shou replied with a meaningful sentence in a serious manner: ? Mr. Fei, you must be kind. ?

5. The column "One Says One" was having a planning meeting. Suddenly the cell phone of the director Du Duan rang, and Fei Mo had to stop speaking. He just listened to a long hesitation and answered the phone: "Yes, ah, okay, oh, um, hi, (pauses and doesn't speak) I heard it." ?Everyone was confused, but Yan Shouyi was very excited: ?It must have been beaten by a woman. I can translate. (Learning both male and female intonations) What about the meeting? Yes. Is it inconvenient to talk? Ah. Then let me tell you. OK. I miss you. oh. Do you miss me? Yeah. You were so mean yesterday. Hi. Kiss me. (Pause) Then I'll kiss you. Did you hear that? Everyone in the meeting started shouting: "Did you hear that!?" 6. Wu Yue asked Yan Shouyi to write a preface to Fei Mo's book. Yan Shouyi thought she was joking, so he joked that he was a For those who are uneducated, if Wu Yue publishes a book, he can help her write a preface. Wu Yue said: "Okay, I'll write it. I'm worried that I don't have any money to spend. The title of the book is "One Story, One Story", which will completely expose your ugly face. The cover must also indicate "Children are not allowed to have sex", and Yan Shou smiles evilly. He hugged Wu Yue's shoulders and said with a pun: "I think the title of the book should be "I Dedicate My Youth to You"." ?

7. Fei Mo’s affair was discovered by his wife Li Yan. After Li Yan’s fierce criticism, Fei Mo, with his head hanging down, explained to Yan Shouyi that it was actually a misunderstanding: Although he did check into a room, he ended up sitting in a coffee shop to chat because he was afraid of trouble. Then Fei Mo suddenly sighed: "Having slept in the same bed for more than 20 years, I am indeed a little tired of aesthetics." (Sichuan accent)?

8. In the first class of short-term dialogue training class, Yan Shouyi collided and made the female teacher Shen Xue cry. Yan Shouyi felt a little sorry and quickly apologized sincerely: "Mr. Shen, I was wrong." This morning I made the deputy director unhappy. He asked me to write a letter of inspection. If you are in a hurry, I will give it to you first. Seeing that Shen Xue still had a sullen face, Yan Shouyi sincerely handed over his inspection hands: "Although the mistakes are different, they are all inspections!" Shen Xue burst into tears and smiled: shameless!

9. Go to the fee During the launch of Mo's new book, Yan Shouyi unexpectedly discovered that Fei Mo, who appeared to be well-behaved and sanctimonious, also had a lover like him. He couldn't suppress his inner excitement and joked: "You didn't let me pick it up. It turned out that it was delivered by someone. The car is not good, but the person is nice." ! Mr. Fei has repeatedly taught us: Trouble. Now you are in trouble. ? Fei Mo said awkwardly: ? A graduate student from the Academy of Social Sciences, majoring in aesthetics, has some admiration for me. ?And he said: ?Lao Yan, you have to be kind.

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There are also 48 movie mobile phone items:

1. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very annoyed: Damn it, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. It’s been a long time since I received your message. I’m very distressed. When I think about death, I’ve cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over the building with a parachute, hung myself with noodles, but you can still die. Please give me a meal to last me.

3. If you feel heartbroken, please call me! To talk about love, please press 1, to talk about work, please press 2, and to talk about life, please press 3. , please press 5 to introduce someone to me, please ask me if you want to eat, please hang up if you want to borrow money from me.

4. The giraffe married the monkey. A year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I don’t want to live this kind of jumping up and down life anymore! The monkey was furious: Just leave! Who has ever seen a kiss on the lips? Tree climber!

5. The fish said: I keep my eyes open all the time so that I can’t bear to leave you. ?Water says: ?I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and hold you tightly. ?Guo said: ?It’s almost fucking ripe yet there’s so much nonsense. ?

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the text message. The elephant pooped in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help singing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!~~~~

7. You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is used to make wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are; You use it to stew vermicelli.

8. Don’t worry when you go to the railway station but don’t have any paper with you. The train will remind you: wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! When you go to the riverside but don’t have any paper with you, don’t worry. Don't worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick stick scrape!

9. Money can buy a house but not a home, it can buy marriage but not love, it can buy a clock. But you can’t buy time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

10. God, too blue! The sea, too salty ! Life is too difficult! Work is too annoying! And 11. I give you the 12 zodiac signs. I wish you are as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as bold as a tiger, as cute as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as charming as a snake, as romantic as a horse, and as gentle as a horse. Like a sheep, naughty like a monkey, beautiful like a chicken, loyal like a dog, and looks like a pig!

12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the poop of the gibbon. The gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it and they fell in love. When others asked how they got together, the chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape dung! It’s all ape dung!

13. The lion and the bear defecated next to the tree respectively. A month later, the lion I found that the tree next to my poop was stronger than the one of the bear, so I said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life - lion poop is better than bear poop!

14. Think of a number in your mind and add it with it 52.8, then multiply it by 5, then subtract 3.9343, then divide it by 0.5, and finally subtract ten times the number in your mind. The answer is very romantic!

15. You always play in the office Loud fart, colleagues couldn’t help but ask you if you could keep silent. Then I saw you sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked you what you were doing. You replied that I had set it to vibrate!

16. Dear God, please bless those who don’t call. Give it to me, don’t send me text messages, and don’t miss my friends: May the Lord drop their mobile phones in the toilet, Amen!

17. It is said that you are cruel, in the theater There were four seats lying on the floor, but when someone asked you to get up, you just grunted and didn't move. The security guard came and said, "My friend is so cruel, which aisle is this?" You gritted your teeth and said, "I fell down from the aisle upstairs!"

18. I miss you, miss you, find you, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water all day long and look at you - are you happy? Pour a cup of boiling water and burn you to death!

19. Dear user, at this time we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian Autonomous Government has decided to award you a lofty title in the name of the entire Arab world: Ben Shalebacki!

20. The beauty of knowledge and rhetoric lies in confusing people; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being stupid without regrets; the beauty of men , lies in telling lies to the point of seeing ghosts in daylight.

21. I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you. I care about you as much as I care about you. I care about you, little boy. , I’m going to stun you!

22. Have you ever heard of it? It takes five hundred times of looking back in the past life for one chance encounter in this life. For close friends like you and me, it seems that we didn’t do anything in our previous life, just him. Mom is back!

23. Two counterfeiters accidentally made fake coins with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to take them to remote mountainous areas to spend them. When they took a 15 yuan ticket and bought 1 After receiving the candied haws of 1 yuan, they cried, and the farmer gave them two pieces worth 7 yuan.

24. Portrait of your life: Learn to take a bath by yourself at the age of ten - Zhu Ziqing; shine brightly at the age of twenty - Zhu Shimao; find a job at the age of thirty - Zhu establishes a career; be employed at the age of forty Servants - pigs get servants; learn to play basketball at fifty - pigs shoot!

25. A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said: "I love you." ?The little girl said: ?Can you be responsible for my future? The little boy said: ?Of course you can, we are not one or two years old anymore!?

26. I was chatting with my friends just now, and some of them Speaking of you, you know? I had a quarrel with them, and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey, and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was too much! They didn’t regard you as a pig at all!< /p>

27. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: It’s weird that I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you couldn’t help but declare loudly in front of everyone: I am not a pig!

28. The three most popular words during the Iraq War: peace, war. Found, use these three words Read three English words together aloud three times, and you will uncover a major historical mystery. (I farted)...

29. People

fall in love,

not special;

cow

p>

It can eat grass,

It is not special;

Pig

It can ring the phone,

It is special;

p>

Still pressing!

What a magical pig!

Wow! You can also laugh!

What a cool pig!

30. There are two things I have always wanted to say to you, and today I finally got the courage: the first one, I love you and I like you so much; the second one, don’t take the first one seriously

31. Psychological test:

If you think you have a high IQ, press down.

If you think you are quite humorous, press down.

Press down if you are quite attractive

Press down if you think you are quite handsome

Test result:

Quite shameless

< p> 32. I see the vicissitudes of life between your brows, I see confidence in your eyes, I see the years on your forehead, and I see leeks between your lips and teeth. Go and brush your teeth!

33. Eat shit, 簟璁, 筭歙, 艽绱, 瀀穑,鍍惃,偬彘,窭钚,饁偘, how many of the above words do you know? Have you found that you can do nothing but eat shit? Why not?

34. Two cows are eating grass. One of them said, "Mad cow disease is prevalent recently. We won't be infected, right?" The other said, "No, we are kangaroos." ? Already crazy!

35. I have always been an unknown knight in the world, until one day I met you, the most mysterious person in the legend, and I actually called your name. From then on, I was in the world. It also has a famous name: Zhizhuxiao!