Funny sentences that make people laugh.

The complete works of funny sentences that make people laugh.

Lead: Some classic funny jokes can bring you joy and add pleasant colors to your life. Below I sort out and recommend the most classic paragraphs, I hope everyone can learn something from them!

Don't call me arrogant, I just refuse to deal with animals.

2) I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

3) Tell me about you, you are ugly without a diploma, and you are bald if you are not smart!

4) The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people.

5) I have a good background, but I only have a back.

6) Alas, if this person has no orthomorphism, even his headache is partial.

7) Look at you. Look at your back. You are in a hurry, turn your head and scare away millions of lions.

8) It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

9) A man's big toe turned green, and the doctor diagnosed it as cancer! Then remove it. In a few days, two toes will be green, and then they will be removed! Three days later, my feet turned green and I had to go to a big hospital. The old doctor magnified his vision for a long time and said, according to my years of experience, your socks have faded.

10) I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

1 1) grandstanding can be flattering or falling out of favor.

12) Police: Drinking? Ren Lei:? Don't! ? Police:? Why does it smell of wine? Ren Lei:? Had a beer. ? Police:? Beer is also wine! ? Ren Lei:? Excuse me, is snail a cow? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Excuse me, is soy sauce oil? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Is this girl a mother? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Is beer wine? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? This is not the end! ?

13) Dozens of senior officials traveled by plane, and one of the governors said: If I drop a RMB note, whoever finds it will be happy. A mayor said: It's better to leave Bird, so everyone will be happy. Another district chief said: simply throw a one-dollar coin down, and everyone will be very happy when they find it. The pilot said after listening, or I'll leave you all behind and make the whole country happy!

The important task after 14) is after manufacturing.

15) I met a writer's signature: it may or may not look like it. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

16) The person who is willing to stay and argue with you at ordinary times is the one who really loves you!

17) My son came home trembling: Dad, you only got a score in the exam today? . Dad is very angry: don't call me dad if you fail the exam next time! ? After three weeks, my son came back from the exam, and my father asked: How was the exam? The son looked helpless:? Sorry, brother! ?

18) it's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

19) You have a 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth, which Baidu can't find.

20) She doesn't nag, break bowls, talk about QQ or go out of the wall. She bought a new house in a nice car and raised her husband as a baby. It's smarter than Zhuge Liang to close the moon and be ashamed of flowers. She is Lin Daiyu by day and Pan Jinlian by night. She loves her children and her husband. She can go to the hall and the kitchen according to her in-laws. I only make money for my husband every day, and my husband is sad if he doesn't spend money. She is one of the top ten people who moved China? , named? Someone else's wife.

2 1) Gold always shines, but when there is gold all over the ground, I don't know which one I am.

22) Tonight, let's use the cold war to keep warm!

23) One day, A Dai was secretly playing with his mobile phone in class, and happened to be found by the head teacher who was patrolling outside the classroom. The head teacher sent a message to A Dai on his mobile phone: Why don't you listen carefully? A Dai replied doubtfully:? Who are you? Head teacher:? Look out the window. ? A Dai looked at it and secretly replied? Thank you for reminding me. Talk to you later. Our head teacher stared at me outside the window. ?

24) A traffic policeman was issuing a ticket when a man came up with a cigarette in his mouth and shouted, What can you do besides issuing a ticket? The traffic police ignored him, and the man continued: there is a drag! The traffic police was very angry, and the man continued: There is a drag! The traffic police couldn't bear to take out the walkie-talkie. When towing the car, the traffic police kindly said: Come to the Fifth Brigade to deal with it in the afternoon! Man: It's none of my business! This car is not mine! Say that finish humming a ditty riding a battery car.

25) Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

26) I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked to eat the first one? Is there anything worse in the world? I ate the second one and cried? Is there really? .

27) Flowers often belong to cow dung rather than people who appreciate it.

Where you fall, you get up. Always falling that way, I suspect there is a pit!

29) Go to the toilet at school and squat in the old way. I dropped my cell phone with a grunt when I stood up. I looked down: fortunately, the pit is not very low. I bent down and was about to pick it up when suddenly a short message came, buzzing? The mobile phone slid down the pit with a vibration, and a string of bubbles floated at the bottom of the pit! I don't want my mobile phone. I just want to know who sent this message.

30) There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

3 1) Face is given by others, and face is lost by yourself.

32) Zhuge Liang commanded the battle, and every time he followed the army in a chariot. Once there was a war, as soon as it started, Liang took the lead in driving to the enemy. The morale of the army was greatly boosted, and the enemy followed closely. After the war, everyone praised: the strategist is brave! ? Liangdao:? Gee, the slope is too steep for the car to stop.

33) People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

34) Only women and heroes are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find.

35) Ask a colleague: Did you buy PetroChina? Colleague said:? Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! ?

36) When my dead wife called, my husband said angrily, Hello! This is the departure service hotline. Please urge to admit your mistake; Please press divorce; If you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer you. My wife hung up angrily. Late at night, my husband came home and found the door locked. He called his wife's cell phone, and she said in a falsetto, Hello! This is the who's afraid who service hotline. If you want to go home, please kneel down and rub the washboard; If you want a divorce, please kneel on the nail board; If you feel uncomfortable, this service desk will transfer you.

37) A small amount is not a gentleman, let alone a Trojan horse.

38) As long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

39) Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

40) A drives a BMW b:？ Dude, where did you get the BMW? A:? I met a beautiful woman in the bar that day. At night, she drove me to the top of the mountain in her BMW, then took off her clothes and told me? You can get what you want. . So I took her BMW. ? B pondered for a long time and said:? Dude, you did the right thing. You can't wear her clothes either. ?

1. Prices are rising so fast that I always pay in advance when I eat in restaurants.

You will never get it if you play around.

Put away your love, I'm tired of pretending.

Actually, I'm not stupid, but I'm too lazy to be smart.

Ever since I left you, someone has asked me: Do you always sterilize your eyes with tears?

6. Dozens of beautiful women said I was handsome, but when I denied it, they hit me with bricks and called me hypocritical.

7. The typical sign of being single is that the monthly traffic package is long gone, and more than half of the call package is left.

8. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

9. I look at the time in the morning not to see what time it is, but to see how long I can sleep.

10. Give me a woman and I will create a country! Answer: If I give you a sow, will the price of meat drop next year?

1 1. Wear other people's shoes. Go your own way. Let them talk.

12. I want to ask: we all paid money at school. Shouldn't the teacher listen to us?

13. Anything that is thin is omnipotent, and anything that is fat is useless.

14. Time and tide wait for no man, first of all, women are not spared; Opportunity waits for no one. First of all, you can't wait for men.

15. Life is like a landlord, just a bunch of people, and then the enemy.

16. Couples who can't live without it only have mistresses who don't work hard.

17. Hum, I am the most rogue in winter. I always like to freeze my hands and feet.

18. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and I test my imagination.

19. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

20. My strengths: Dare to admit mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

Appreciation of humorous short sentences 1. Ruthless people can live a hundred years, and a clear conscience is not tired.

In fact, sleeping in class is not our fault, but the earth is so attractive.

How many students lost to the last part of the text: reciting the whole text.

It is said that people with big faces can't use touch-screen mobile phones and hang up just because they laugh.

Teacher, I met a robber and my homework was robbed.

6. The only constant from primary school to university is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

8. Whenever there is an exam, walking in the corridor of the dormitory will feel like entering a mental hospital.

9. I generally don't judge others easily. The people I evaluate are not people now.

10. My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.

1 1. Since I have been deleted, there is no need to add it back. You have one more, not much, and one less.

12. I seem to really care about you. I'm not happy when you're happy. I'm happiest when you're unhappy.

13. Pretending to be shameless is eternal.

14. Skipping classes is a person's happiness, and attending classes is a group of people's loneliness.

15. When you look at beautiful women in the street, you will appreciate them if you look higher, and you will be a hooligan if you look lower.

16. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself without rival in love.

17. Don't stare at me. You think you are a palette.

18. What I can afford now is chopsticks, but what I can't get out is the quilt.

19. Beat out all the soy sauce in the world to make others jealous.

20. Flip a coin to surf the Internet. The other side is sleeping and standing up to do homework.

1. If fate grabs you by the neck, scratch it.

Looking for him in the crowd, suddenly looking back, that person still despises me.

There is a love that makes me indifferent, and there is a love that makes me unlucky.

4. The highest level of sleeping in autumn is to blow a fan to cover the quilt.

5. Go to today's class and sleep yesterday's!

6. All problems are ultimately a matter of time, and all troubles are actually asking for trouble.

7. What you say in your heart may be poetry, but if you leave it in your stomach, it will definitely turn into shit.

8. It doesn't matter to me that some people are dead; I can't let go of some people who killed me.

9. I'll give you what kind of face you are. You want me to pretend to please you.

10. An apology and a frivolous remark can leave all responsibilities behind.

;