Humor, funny, good night SMS

Lead: Wind chimes sway in front of the window, knocking down yours gently? Upset? ; The air is filled with flowers, slowly dissolving yours? A lot of ideas? . The following are my humorous goodnight words, welcome to read for reference!

1, Lao Wang asked: Does your dog bite? The countryman said: absolutely not. I didn't expect Lao Wang to be bitten. ? I thought you said your dog wouldn't bite. Yes, but that's not my dog. ?

2. Dude, do you know why I was scolded that day? I saw an underline under the words on the clothes on the pretty girl's chest, so I reached out my right hand and clicked it.

Lao Zhang: Lao Li's laundry is about to open! What should we send? Lao Wang: Send a plaque. Lao Zhang: What should I write on it? Lao Wang: Just write my innocence!

At two o'clock in the middle of the night, at the end of a quiet street. ? Excuse me, maybe you can tell me if there is a policeman here. No, there are no policemen here. ? So, can you find a policeman nearby soon? I don't think there will be any police. ? Ok, then please give me your watch and money. ?

5, the wine field is the battlefield, the wine style is the style, the amount of alcohol is the courage, and the wine bottle is the level. The bar sells new products. The feeling of heartache, one yuan a cup. Curious, I bought a cup, and I really felt heartache. It turned out to be a cup of boiled water.

6. When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

7. The aquarium celebrated the birthday of the old dragon king. During the dinner, Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it and put it back. The dragon king quickly asked, what happened to Prime Minister Gui? Shrimp, soldier and crab will quickly answer: the old bastard has received the text message again.

8. My friend thought a lot last night, so did I.. Only you are the coolest. I searched for you in my dream. Looking back, you were really thrown in the depths of someone else's donkey shed and tied up, cruel! Cruel! Calm down after reading the information!

9. Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you. Can you pick me up at the station? However, I'm afraid it's hard for people to recognize it. You let your head explode, with a stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left. The joint signal is: Come on!

10, I dreamed of you. You made a dress out of white clouds, borrowed a pair of wings from a bird, put a broom behind your ass, and then the sword flew to me. Tell me affectionately: Do you know? That's what birdman looks like.

1 1. I thought there was a better one, but I found it again and again. The best is around, just like you. I didn't think so at first, but as time went on, I realized that you were the best? Bullying people!

12, I am determined to do three major things for the people of the whole country: 1 Repair the elevator for Mount Everest, put porcelain on the Great Wall, and send you a short message to say good night.

13, baby, go to bed early! Ann. Sweet dream! Let me tell you a story: once upon a time there was a mountain and a temple. An old monk in the temple was telling a story to a young monk: once upon a time there was a mountain and an old monk in the temple was telling a story to the young monk.

14, honey, when I was playing chess with Duke Zhou last night, I saw Duke Zhou's wife wearing rusty insoles. How beautiful! You should go to bed early tonight and learn from others. Good night, baby, sweet dreams!

15, this message is harassment! Warning: If you are still awake, go to sleep. If you just slept, turn over and go back to sleep. If you sleep for a long time, get up and go to the bathroom before you sleep. If you really don't want to sleep, harass those who want to sleep with me. .

16, Dear mobile users: You have successfully customized the midnight wake-up pee service, and we will disturb you from time to time at midnight every day until you get up. Please reply to cancel the business: I am a pig, I want to sleep, I don't get up, I don't pee!

17, Sleep: You will have a dream that I am dressed as a ghost and dressed in white. You can't see my feet, but you can only see the red on my white dress? I looked at you straight and said to you, watch where your mouth is next time you feed me wine. ?

18, hello, I'm really sorry to wake you up when you received this message. Well, it's all your fault. Who told you to go to bed earlier than me? Well, let's say good night. I hope you don't meet me in your dream. I'm afraid you don't want to wake up, hahaha!

19, you've been running in my head all day today. Are you tired? Go to bed early. ~! Good night, miss you * * *

20. Waiting for someone who can only love each other but can't be together can only love and bless each other silently. Because when we need care, we can only let our thoughts surround us and guide us. We can only miss you quietly, wait quietly, and make a phone call or send a message at your convenience.

2 1, you and I can only love such a person who can only love each other but can't be together; I can only wish you happiness at all times and peace at all times in the distance, which is enough. Don't pray too much and don't expect too much. I just hope you will be happy forever!

22. It is not easy to love someone, and it is even harder to forget someone. Yes, it's hard to love someone. It's tiring to miss someone, but it's silly to wait for someone. Why can't we refuse such lovesickness? Why are we willing to have no regrets? Why are we still obsessed with it?

23. The drunkard called the owner's house in the morning and asked: What time does the hotel open? The boss said, sorry, I can't come in until after afternoon. The drunkard said, who said I came in? I'm just going out.

24. Oranges love grapefruit deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. Orange roared: Why is this? Grapefruit said timidly: My mother said that a woman whose clothes are too easy to take off is not a good thing.

25. The critic said to the director: Your play is too noisy and there are too many gunshots. The director retorted: Yes, but it was legionary teleplay. Critics: Sure, but gunfire will wake the audience.

26. During the intermission in the theater, the husband bought a glass of beer. Wife: You swear not to drink for two months! Husband: Honey, according to the program, the time between the first act and the second act is one year apart!

27, coffee and partner, coconut milk sago, just like you and me, perfect match! The officer tested the recruits: In the dark night, you were standing guard, and suddenly someone hugged you from behind. What should you say? A soldier quickly replied, honey, let me go.

28. At the opening ceremony, the new headmaster gave a speech to encourage students: What is our school? Teachers' college? Don't think of it as? Eat and sleep? This place.

29. When chopping wood, the father almost cut off his son's arm. The son shouted at his father, fool, where are you going to cut? Hearing this, Sun Tzu said angrily, How can this bastard talk to his father like this?

When the boxer hit his opponent in the mouth, everyone was very happy. They all laughed and danced. The audience next to him asked:? Are you a boxing coach? No, I am a dentist. ?

3 1. The watchdog died after eating poisonous meat. The shopkeeper wondered that this meat was used to poison wild cats. How to eat a dog chained to the gate all the time? Neighbor explained: Obviously, the dog died of kickbacks.

32. After watching the news, my wife excitedly asked: If you fly into space by Shenzhou 5, what do you want to say to me most? The husband grabbed his wife's hand and said: The earth is still good and attractive!

33. The fortune teller said to someone: Women's hands are like ginger, and their belongings are piled up in boxes. Great, my wife's hands are like ginger She punched me yesterday, and it's still hot!

34. While watching a mystery play, an audience suddenly stood up and shouted: Where is the murderer? Another audience member said coldly in the back: If you don't sit down, the murderer will be right behind you.

During the exam, a candidate rolled his eyes on the table from beginning to end. After the exam, the teacher saw on his test paper that it was difficult for his grandson to give questions, but his son was very strict in invigilation. I can't do it, so I have to hand in a blank sheet of paper.

During the exam, the invigilator handed a small note from my classmate, which read:? The invigilator of this subject is very stupid. Please give me the answer to the multiple-choice question quickly. ? The classmate's ending is very miserable.

37. Section Chief: You are late again! Salesgirl: A man followed me after I went out. Section Chief: So what! Salesgirl: The man walked slowly, so the time dragged on.

38. Section Chief: Have you posted the two letters on the desk? Clerk: The stamps are pasted wrong. Domestic stamp paste 10 yuan, foreign stamp paste 2 yuan. As the stamp could not be torn off, I changed the letterhead inside.

39. The passenger ship passed a desert island, where a skinny guy screamed and waved. Tourist: Who's that? C: I don't know. Every year when our ship passes by here, he will go crazy!

In class, the teacher's favorite and least favorite students are dozing off. The teacher woke up his least favorite student and said, You see Cao Ming dozing off while reading, but you dozing off as soon as you read.

4 1, someone carved it on the desk: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear, and this is how the sea is formed. Someone replied: Every time I miss you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

42. Rahsin is a heavy drinker, and the doctor advised him to practice yoga and give up drinking. The doctor saw his wife and asked how her husband was. ? Doctor, that's terrible. Now he can drink backwards. ?

43. Dad is going to travel, and his wife bought him a pair of anti-theft underwear. It is safe to take money with him on the road. He has never heard of it, complaining. Who would steal my underwear, a bad old man? What is the need for anti-theft?

Boss: Remember, the customer is always right. Employee: Really? Boss: Of course. Employee: Yesterday, a customer said that the person who opened a shop here was an idiot. Boss: Why are you late today? Clerk: Because you announced yesterday that you can only read newspapers at home.

45. The boss took the dog for a stroll, and the wage earners asked: Does the boss bite? The boss said: bite. Wage earners: No wonder we are all injured.

46. Optimistic girl: I will definitely marry. Pessimistic girl: others will definitely get married. Onlooker man: Who cares if she can marry, as long as she doesn't marry me?

47. Mrs. Li asked the child: If mom and dad quarrel, which side would you stand on? The child thought for a moment and said, stand by and watch.

48. Ricardo: Doctor, please tell me quickly. What if I accidentally eat ink? Doctor: No problem, son. Eat more absorbent paper quickly!

Barber: What kind of hairstyle do you want? Young man: You should have the most eye-catching hairstyle. Barber: That's good! I'll shave your head

50. Li: Just now a man suddenly hugged me from behind and molested me. ? Strong:? No wonder you are so angry. ? Lisa:? What is even more irritating is that the man actually said? What a bummer. It's a man? ! ?