Short joke recommendation

1, I: Wife, you are paying less and less attention to me now. Change clothes directly in front of me. Do you know you are shy? Wife: I didn't hear you fart before I got married. Now it's like setting off firecrackers day by day, bang, bang, bang! Why don't you know how to be shy?

2. My neighbor's two-year-old bag must like me too much, otherwise she won't give me a gift every time we meet. For three days in a row, Bao Xiao came to my house to play and took a shit in my living room at a super-fast speed!

In high school, I knew a friend. She doesn't like to eat pearls soaked in tea. She only drinks milk tea every time and leaves me pearls. Later, I met a friend who only likes to eat pearls in bubble tea. He first gave me milk tea and asked me to leave the pearls to him. The whole high school, more important than the college entrance examination, prevented them from getting to know each other

Today, I gave my father a loving hug on a whim. Father said contemptuously, "If you can't find a husband, will you hold someone else's husband?"

My husband stayed up late with friends and asked me if I was hungry. He took a photo and sent it to me. A woman is eating kebabs! Looking at that big plate of mutton kebabs made my mouth water. I was just about to tell my husband, just pack it for me according to that plate. The husband sent another voice: Did you see the beautiful woman who ate mutton kebabs? On time? Good figure! You say you dare not eat what you can't eat every day, so how can you reach two people by yourself?

6. I went downstairs this morning and found 50 yuan. I didn't tell my wife to buy a pack of Chinese cigarettes secretly. When I arrived at the company, I found out that it was a day's meal paid by my wife in the morning! Who can tell me what to do now?

7. I have always been confident. Compared with my peers, I am at least five years younger! But last night, a 60-year-old aunt asked her grandson to call me grandpa! I'm confused. Is it because I was too blind and confident before?

8, my husband went out to drink too much, and when he got home, he threw up in bed, and he couldn't afford to scream, just like he was dead. I couldn't help him, so I grabbed his hair and picked him up to wipe his face. The son said distressfully, Mom, be careful, don't kill Dad?

9. My wife sent me a text message asking: Honey, what are you doing? I'm going back: I'm exhausted from work. When will you come back from your business trip? She: I'm back. I stand behind you. Your uniform and beard were great just now! Looking back, oh, I'll go. What a surprise!

10. Seeing my father-in-law playing Tai Chi in the yard, I couldn't help asking my mother-in-law: Have you been bullied by him in recent years? Bang, the melon on the chopping board was cut in half by the kitchen knife in her mother-in-law's hand: nothing, I have this!