Funny jokes about hot weather

1. Tieguai Li: What kind of medicine am I selling in this gourd? It's all wind oil essence, and whoever applies it will get a cool breeze.

2. The scorching summer heat is unbearable. Let me teach you a magical way to relieve the heat: when the sun is high at noon, exercise vigorously in an open space without any obstructions. Once you suffer from heatstroke, you can relieve the heat. This is called fighting poison with poison. "Shu" attacks "Shu".

3. "The whole city is so hot that it's so hot" "It's so hot in the hot road" "It's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot that it's so hot in China" "Attack on the Sun" "If You Give Me a Day of Shade" "The Air Conditioner We Chased Together All Those Years" "Where's the Air Conditioner We Promised" "The 101st Heat Death" "33 Days of Heat Death" "Heat Death Contract" "Heat "Shit Man 3" and others have been released nationwide.

4. Wash your face, comb your hair, apply some rouge and apply some powder to catch the "Sanfu".

5. I generally don’t send messages. If I want to send messages, I only send creative ones! In the past, clichés were laughed at, but now we have to work hard to be high-profile, say it without fear of being praised, and be simple but not simple: be careful to prevent heat stroke when it is hot.

6. Nezha: Step on the wind and fire in turn, step on the fire wheel in cold weather and step on the wind wheel in hot weather.

7. The weather is too hot! I bought a basket of eggs and turned into a chicken when I got home! I bought a mat and it turned into an electric blanket when I slept! The car doesn't need to be ignited, it will catch on its own! I met a stranger on the road, looked at each other and smiled, and became an acquaintance! The table was too hot. Just after the mahjong was laid out, it got burnt!

8. In this weather, anyone who can go out with you on a date is a close friend of life and death!

9. As time goes by, the weight of friendship will increase; as time goes by, the wine of friendship will ferment; as the distance increases, the longing in the heart will increase; greetings will warm the hearts of friends. My friend, no matter when and where you are, I hope you are in a good mood, happy and worry-free! Have a pleasant life and be safe and sound! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

10. Giant Spirit God: It’s not good to be too big. The sun is right above my head. I have more “yang energy” than anyone else now.

11. The cannibal chief came to the amusement park and saw people playing on the merry-go-round. He was overjoyed: Yo! Conveyor belt sushi! When the chief came to Gulangyu Island and saw the huge crowds of people, he was overjoyed: Oh! Boiled meat! The chief came to Hangzhou and saw a man falling. He was overjoyed and said: "Yo!" Teppanyaki!

12. Lan Caihe: I want to get some water to take a shower, but I always get nothing from the bamboo basket.

13. Give you a little sunshine and you will be brilliant; give you a little flood and you will flood. A broken pot has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly love. As long as the love is as deep as the sea, even pockmarks can shine! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

14. What women struggle with in summer is: they are afraid of wearing revealing clothes and wearing makeup because of sweat. The dilemma in winter is: I want to show my thighs but it’s too cold... What should I do?

15. Horoscope for the week. Aries, Taurus, and Gemini are prone to heatstroke this week; Cancer, Leo, Libra, and Pisces should pay attention to heat protection; Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius should avoid outdoor activities as much as possible; other constellations can do whatever they want.

16. This year is a leap year, April is blessed, plus April, happiness increases smiles, health increases physical fitness, good luck increases happy events, friendship increases mood, salary increases, financial resources, and love increase See you warmly. In the leap year, I wish you more laughter and happiness. The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

17. It was too hot last night and I really couldn’t sleep. Liz suggested getting up and doing some activities, so the dormitory got up collectively to fight the landlord, and the losers got dressed. . . Alas, it was all tears. . . . . A total of 4 down jackets. . .

18. Agarwood: This magical ax of mine can split mountains and open water, and it is more effective than those professional well diggers.

19. It is gratifying that under the influence of continuous high temperatures, the roadside porcelain industry has fallen into a complete shutdown stage.

20. I picked up a dollar on the side of the road and immediately gave it to the policeman. The policeman shouted angrily, "Guawazi, do you want to burn me to death?"

21. This text message has gone through strong light radiation, scorching sun, strong winds, lightning strikes, mosquito bites, and rain washes, and finally arrives at your mobile phone, saying to you: In the hot summer, please pay attention. Protect against heatstroke. The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

22. Asking where the dormitory can be so cool, ask the dormitory manager to buy an air conditioner! Since ancient times, who is not hot in life, sell the dormitory and buy air conditioners! After ten years of being so hot, I had to sell the dormitory and buy an air conditioner! Passionate since ancient times, there is no spare heat, sell the dormitory, buy air conditioners! If love lasts for a long time, sell the dormitory and buy an air conditioner! Don’t you see, the coolness is coming from the sky, selling the dormitory, buying air conditioners! I'm chatting about being a teenager, selling the dormitory, and buying air conditioners!

Twenty-three, look! The clouds will always float farther and farther away, the stars will always twinkle, the flowers will always smile, the waves will always roll over, friends will always miss you occasionally, blessings will always be inaccurate, and the little fool will always read it patiently ! Funny jokes about hot weather

1. The summer is hot, and the mood is really wonderful; you can see that you have a hot body, so you can run around in your underpants; when it is hot, stuff an ice cream, and the bathtub will bubble; chew watermelon and cantaloupe, and sweat As hairspray. Put your worries aside and be happy and carefree.

2. I saw a dollar on the road today. I thought about it for a long time but still didn’t pick it up for fear of burning myself! ! !

3. Why do so many people say it’s hot? . . Actually it's not bad. . . I always feel that the heat will get hotter and hotter. . . If it doesn't work, just give it to the one you like

4. "Are I familiar with you?" "Well, it's almost time" the two of them said while standing in the sun!

5. Ways to relieve heat with thoughts: Imagine that you are hit by an ice palm and the ice suddenly melts; or imagine that you are romantic on the Titanic, and suddenly an iceberg hits and you fall into the cold and biting sea water; Why don't you try watching another ghost movie? I wish you a clear mind!

6. I will give you 50,000 yuan, 10,000 yuan for health, 10,000 happiness, 10,000 peace, 10,000 good luck, 10,000 happiness, and 1*** 50,000 red bricks. Hey, build yourself a beautiful castle! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

7. Recently I saw someone saying that if a girl who is energy conservation cools down once, the man will heat up by one degree. However, no matter how cool a girl who looks very safe is, the man will only cool down but not heat up

8. I just kicked a kid away on the bus and a group of people applauded. Why? The naughty child is singing: "It's enough to sow one seed one by one, and many, many, many, many, many, many, lows will grow. The sun will be extremely bright in every corner of the world.

9. An immortal childlike heart will reap happiness; a Endless faith will reap success; a healthy body will reap peace; a friend who will always care about you will reap happiness. My friend, I send you my deepest blessings and harvest sweet happiness! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

10. Last night, my weird wife suddenly said to me: Your Majesty, I have something to ask of you! But it doesn’t matter. Please put me in the cold palace. I can't stand it anymore. It's so damn hot today! Me

11. Barefoot Immortal: It’s impossible to wear shoes now. My feet will be burned wherever I go. Funny jokes about hot weather

12. Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai have entered the central heating period, but the time difference is half a year.

13. Let me tell you a few ways to quickly relieve the heat: in addition to looking in the mirror, checking the bank card balance, pinching your belly, and checking the QQ invisible status of your sweetheart. Is your heart feeling cold now?

14. My friend went out to meet clients and complained to me on QQ. I felt distressed when I heard that, so I immediately got up, walked a few steps, and called him: You must be too hot! I'm standing next to the air conditioner now. Listen, this is the sound of cold wind at 20 degrees Celsius.

15. Dou E was ordered to be executed in the street. Before the execution, the weather in June and July turned out to be cold and windy, with snowflakes falling. The people who were watching were stunned, and then they all knelt at the feet of the executioner. Sir, please show mercy. The people kowtowed and cried bitterly. Can you take her back and kill her again tomorrow? It's so cool.

16. There is a hot season called summer, a warm word is sweet, an ancient story is magical, and a girl I love deeply is you. The cool summer breeze blows, and I will love you forever!

17. In the hot summer, I asked Sister Caterpillar to bring you a few intimate kisses, and I asked Aunt Mosquito to sing a lullaby for you every night. Don’t be polite to me, and Better gifts are prepared for you!

18. Every wave of life has a halo of happiness; every step of life has a wonderful moment; every color of life has a gorgeous chapter; every friend’s love A greeting expresses profound friendship. My friend, I hope you are well and always happy! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

19. Principal, open the door. If you have the ability, open the door! Don't hide in there and keep silent, I know your house has air conditioning! Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door!

20. It is said that Wuhan is like a furnace in summer. After going there, I really experienced the taste of hot dry noodles.

21. If this high temperature continues, to be honest, I am particularly optimistic about this year’s military training. . Thinking of this, my heart immediately felt a lot cooler. . .

22. Yue Lao: Nowadays, when looking for a partner, it is necessary to look at the zodiac sign. No matter it is hot or cold, always look for an Aquarius to quench your thirst.

23. Jade Emperor: Tianting has mastered the core technology and will soon install a giant central air conditioner in the Lingxiao Palace.

24. It takes a wild goose one month to fly south in autumn, but it takes two months to fly back north in summer. Do you know why? Because the summer is hot, it has to use one wing to fan the wind. I wish you a cool summer!

25. It’s so hot that I get tanned. I don’t go out at home every day and my skin turns white! Great, we can finally have a mixed-race child

26. A person died, this person’s name was Re. Funny sentences

27. Here are the top ten summer resorts around Chongqing: 1. Air-conditioned rooms. 2. Air-conditioned room. 3. Air-conditioned room. 4. Air-conditioned room. 5. Air-conditioned room. 6. Air-conditioned room. 7. Air-conditioned room. 8.

28. Now I find that "stay cool wherever you can" is really not a curse word. It is definitely the most sincere care and the most hidden love.

29. There are a lot of liars on the street now. You should be careful when you go out in the future. There was a person on the street today who kept saying it was too hot, it was too hot. I followed him for three streets and he was still alive.

30. Summer is the season of fruits. I will send you a basket of fruits: the apples are safe and prosperous, the oranges are auspicious, the apricots are happy, the persimmons are smooth, the nuclear family is happy, and the plums are troubled!

31. The Queen Mother: I think it would be better to change the Peach Banquet to the Water Splashing Festival so that everyone can cool off.

32. The founder of the Huolu Sect: Turpan; the current leader: Chongqing; the guardians on the left and right: Nanjing, Wuhan; the uncle: Nanchang; the senior brother: Changsha; the junior sister: Hangzhou. Current disciples: Zhengzhou, Shanghai, Fuzhou, Xi'an, Hefei, etc. Among them, disciple Zhengzhou is the most popular with the leader. Although he is located in the north, he is diligent in martial arts and can cross 38℃. He is a candidate for the next leader. people.

33. Time makes friendship warm; years make friendship ferment; memory makes beauty freeze; longing makes thoughts wander; friends make the heart warm; greetings make wishes come true. My friend, I just wish you peace every day and happiness forever! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

34. When I put the coin into the wish pool, a lovely elf asked me what wish I wanted. I said to him: Please help me take good care of this person who reads the message. Never be depressed. Always happy and happy! It’s hot, take care of yourself!

35. I generally don’t send messages. If I do, I only send creative ones! In the past, clichés were laughed at, but now we have to work hard to be high-profile, say it without fear of being praised, and be simple but not simple: pay attention to preventing heatstroke when the weather is hot.

36. Pack happiness into your bag, so that you can fully enjoy it all the time; lock happiness into your heart, so that you can feel the beauty bit by bit; fold wishes into your hands, and let You always control the brilliance of your destiny; my friend, I wish your life will be radiant and wonderful! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

37. I am your weather forecast. When it’s hot, I keep you cool. When it’s cold, I keep you warm. Just because you are my best friend and your concern is always with me. By my side, I wish you peace and happiness!

38. White Dragon Horse: The little dragon man in the sea in the past is now so sunburned that he almost loses his soul. On the way to the Buddhist scriptures, my hooves are facing west, and everything I look at looks like a drinking fountain.

39. I almost died from the sun. The sun is so warm. Didn’t your mother call you home for dinner?

40. In leap year and leap April, I send you a lot of blessings, may your happiness double, and your good luck double; I send you a lot of greetings, I hope your troubles will double, and your bad luck will double. Escape; send one more text message, I hope your mood will be twice as good and your life will be twice as wonderful. I wish you good things in pairs and a prosperous house. The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

41. It is said that the ten suns will appear together and cause harm to the people. The Emperor of Heaven sent Yi, who was good at archery, to come down to earth to relieve the disaster. On the 9th, Yi shot and fell into Anhui, Chongqing, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hunan, Guangdong, Jiangxi, Fujian, and Shanghai respectively, resulting in today's situation!

42. The weather is so hot, go and bring the fan to your father and the others. How many to take? Hey! You damn girl! If you don’t want to take it, don’t take it! You're looking for death by talking dirty! !

43. Don’t forget to drink porridge when it’s hot. You won’t feel uncomfortable in the dog days; mung bean porridge relieves troubles and quenches thirst; lotus seed porridge is refreshing and clears fire; red bean and jujube promotes blood circulation and replenishes qi; banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; porridge It should not be too salty and can be enjoyed easily through the summer.

44. Taishang Laojun: I can’t stand this naivety. I have to change the alchemy furnace into an ice cream machine.

45. Nuwa: I really regret it. Why didn’t I cover the sun when I patched the sky last time?

46. In the hot summer, I hope the cool breeze from my message will drive away your heat. You must remember not to be too busy at work, not to eat too much, and not to go to bed too late every night. Pay more attention. Be healthy and happy! Jokes about hot weather

1. The little puppet got a girlfriend and was full of joy. Unexpectedly, a few days later, my girlfriend suddenly said: Little puppet, I don’t want to have sex with you anymore. It hurts every time I get poked by sawdust! The sad little puppet went to the carpenter to find a solution. The carpenter said to him: This is simple, you just need to polish it with sandpaper. A few days later, the civilized wordsmith asked: Have you reconciled with your girlfriend? The little puppet replied: Who needs a girlfriend when you have that piece of sandpaper?

2. The weather is so hot that I have less urine!

3. In this weather, anyone who can go out with you on a date is a close friend of life and death!

4. The charm of summer wind brings you good luck, the sound of summer rain wishes you a good body and mind, the beauty of summer flowers, and long-lasting happiness. The hot summer is here, I wish you a happy summer! Remember to forward it!

5. Don’t forget to drink porridge when the weather is hot, it will not make you feel uncomfortable in the hot weather; mung bean porridge can relieve troubles and quench thirst, and lotus seed porridge can relieve the heart and clear the fire; Adzuki beans and jujubes promote blood circulation and replenish qi, while banana porridge clears away heat and detoxifies; the porridge should not be too salty, so you can enjoy it easily during the summer.

6. Nuwa: I really regret it. Why didn’t I cover the sun when I patched the sky last time?

7. It was too hot last night and I really couldn’t sleep. Liz suggested getting up and doing some activities, so the dormitory got up collectively to fight the landlord, and the losers got dressed. . . Alas, it was all tears. . . . . A total of 4 down jackets. . .

8. The weather is very hot. The sun has just risen and the sky is already burning.

9. When my cousin got married, he used Coca-Cola for drinks...while drinking it, my wife and I hugged each other and cried...all the guests were moved to the point of bursting into laughter...only I knew that I secretly put it in his Coca-Cola. Mustard hides merit and fame

10. It is said that Wuhan is like a stove in the summer. After going there, I really experienced the taste of "hot dry noodles".

11. Spring thoughts, summer love, autumn blessings, and winter wishes. The encounter in this life brings happiness every day; the love in this life, I will love you forever; the vows in this life will not change, and may our love last forever.

12. Let me tell you a few ways to quickly relieve the heat: in addition to looking in the mirror, checking the bank card balance, pinching your belly, and checking the QQ invisible status of your sweetheart. Does your heart feel cold now?

13. This text message has gone through strong light radiation, scorching sun, strong winds, lightning strikes, mosquito bites, and rain washes, and finally arrived at your mobile phone, saying to you: In the hot summer, be careful to prevent heatstroke. . The weather is changing, please pay attention to your health!

14. On the bus when I went to work in the morning, I found that several people around me were looking at me strangely. I ignored their eyes and expressions with a very determined attitude. Pointing and poking and whispering, the brother's only idea at this time was to get a copycat machine and play a soul-stirring song "Over the Moon" for them. Finally, an old lady pointed at the little brother with a trembling voice and said: Children, Are your clothes on inside out? Brother lowered his head and saw that he had worn the inner side of his T-shirt to the outside. Only then did he realize that the strange looks they were giving were just for looking at 2B. I thought how could I, a tall and dignified man, bear such looks from these common people, so I immediately made a shocking decision, taking off my clothes in front of everyone, turning them over and putting them back on again. I had just taken off my clothes. I noticed that everyone's eyes had changed again. How can I describe it to you? For example, just now they were looking at 2B in a subtle way, but now they were looking at SB in a naked and unsubtle way. Yep, I gave these vulgar people a look of disdain, then lowered my head to rummage through my clothes. With this bow, I finally understood why the eyes of these vulgar people were so lively. It turns out that the bra my wife painted on me last night was still there. I can still remember it vividly... Then, my head suddenly became empty, and there was only one sound left in my ears: the sound of horse hoofs rising, the sound of horse hoofs falling, Ouye, Ouye...

Fifteen, "I and I Are you familiar?" "Well, it's almost time." The two of them stood in the sun and said!

16. Confess your love to the person you like. If the person you like rejects you, your heart will become cold! It will no longer be hot!

17. Wash Wash your face, comb your hair, apply some rouge and some powder to catch up on the "Saturday Day".

18. I suddenly remembered that a classmate in junior high school was really a god. This god often didn’t wash his hands for several days, and his hands were black. Oh my god. One day, the teacher informed me that all aspects of hygiene, including personal hygiene, should be checked the next day. The next morning, as usual, this guy still didn’t wash himself before going to class. When I was trying to save him, I saw this guy borrowing a roll of transparent tape from the classmate in front of him. The magnets wrapped around my hands and I pressed them tightly, then pulled them apart again... My hands turned white! White! White!

19. Don’t ask me how old I am, just ask me how mature I am!

20. Don’t argue with a fool, otherwise others will not be able to figure out who the fool is.

21. It’s so hot that I can’t even think. I need to find a place to cool down.

22. Now I realize that "Wherever you can go to cool off" is really not a curse word. It is definitely the most sincere concern and the most hidden love.

23. The hot summer is unbearable. Let me teach you a magic formula to relieve the heat: when the sun is in the sky at noon, exercise vigorously in an open space without any obstruction. Once you suffer from heat stroke, you can relieve the heat. This is called fighting poison with poison. , Use "summer" to attack "summer".

24. God, you have to let everyone know that this summer is contracted by the Flame Mountain!

25. An immortal childlike heart will gain Happiness; an everlasting belief will reap success; a healthy body will reap peace; a friend who will always care about you will reap happiness. My friend, I send you my deepest blessings and harvest sweet happiness! The weather is changing, take care of yourself!

26. How often should you take a bath in winter? - Take a bath in winter. . .

27. Yesterday afternoon, high temperature weather occurred in Lanzhou, Gansu. A few hours after a young man went shopping with his girlfriend, he suddenly fainted and fell to the ground unconscious. The girlfriend was frightened and quickly dialed 120 to send her boyfriend to the hospital for emergency treatment. The doctor said it was nothing serious, just heat stroke.

Twenty-eight, He Xiangu: I don’t apply sunscreen lotion, I only wear sunscreen leaves, lotus root leaves (Oye)!

Twenty-nine, I will give you a piece of Saqima, Happiness will use you as a target; give you a piece of soft bread, and your troubles will disappear; give you a glass of orange, happiness will knock on the door every day; give you a glass of wine, and good luck will be your watchdog!

Thirty. I just want to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall!

Thirty-one. Protect yourself and love others. Please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people~

Thirty-two. White Dragon Horse : The little dragon people who used to be in the sea are now so sunburned that they almost die from the sun. On the way to the Buddhist scriptures, my hooves are facing west, and everything I look at looks like a drinking fountain.

Thirty-three, summer is here, the weather is hot, and there are more girls, with white thighs! But although the girls nowadays are dressed more dangerously than the last, they are safer than the last...

Thirty-four. I don’t usually send messages. If I do, I only send creative ones! In the past, people laughed at clichés, but now I have to work hard to be high-profile, and I won’t be afraid of you saying it out loud. Simple but not simple: Be careful to prevent heatstroke when the weather is hot.

Thirty-five, I suddenly feel a little sad: the big trees and ponds for cooling off when I was a child seem to be getting fewer and fewer. How do you spend such a hot summer? Are you willing to go back to the days when there is no air conditioning, only fans, shades and mosquito nets?

Thirty-six. The table is too hot, and the mahjong has just been laid out. Confused.

Thirty-seven. This weather is like an oven. I really can’t stand it and it’s almost cooked.

38. Friends in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai, the central heating you requested 8 months ago has finally been realized!

39. Recently I saw someone saying that energy conservation Once a girl cools down, the man will heat up. But no matter how cool the girl is, the man will only cool down but not heat up. Funny quotes about summer heat, funny jokes about hot weather

1. When the electric fan turned into a hair dryer, I felt that life had lost its meaning.

2. In this weather, if your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, save your mother first and let me stay in the water for a while.

3. Anyone who can date someone on such a hot day is a life-or-death friend.

4. Only today do I understand that it is not a curse word to stay where it is cool. It is definitely the most sincere care and the most hidden love.

5. I met a stranger on the street just now and he turned into a mature person in the blink of an eye!

6. Showing off affection is no longer shameful these days. The most shameful thing is showing off air conditioning.

7. African friends have returned to their countries to escape the summer heat. Funny quotes about summer heat.

8. I went out to eat at noon. The distance from one air conditioner to another made me so hot that I just wanted to get back to the air-conditioned room. My life was obviously given by my parents, but now I am still attached to the air-conditioner. How can I live up to my parents? !

9. When I went shopping, I saw a lot of acquaintances on the street, but I didn’t recognize any of them.

10. The high temperature in summer made me fully understand the greatness of that famous saying. Let the storm come more violently!

11. It’s already roasted pork belly, so all I have to do is bring some salt for myself.

12. In our circle of friends, we usually show off our bags, travel, cosmetics, food, brand-name clothes, cars, watches, and beautiful selfies. Anyway, there are all kinds of ways to post them. I just want to say silently that you have the ability. Bask in the sun!

13. What defeats you is not naivety, but naive enthusiasm.

14. I picked up a dollar on the side of the road and immediately gave it to the policeman. The policeman shouted angrily, "Guawazi, do you want to burn me to death?"

15. I would rather cry in an air-conditioned room than laugh under an electric fan!

16. I'm curious about those friends who go out for five minutes and sweat for two hours, how do you do it? Why am I sweating 24 hours a day.

17. I accidentally fell down on the way to work today and was diagnosed with third-degree burns by the hospital.

18. What is gratifying is that under the influence of continued high temperatures, the roadside porcelain industry has fallen into a complete shutdown stage.

19. If you don’t make friends with people in cities where the temperature is below 40 degrees, you don’t know them well.

20. The weather is too hot. I bought a basket of eggs yesterday and they turned into chickens when I got home. I bought a mat and it turned into an electric blanket when I slept. The car started by itself without ignition. I met a stranger on the road, smiled at each other, and became acquaintance. The table was too hot. Just after the mahjong was laid out, it got burnt! Please pay attention to heatstroke prevention!

21. All that stands between me and the barbecue is a pinch of cumin.

22. Nowadays, those who go out are all anti-Japanese heroes. They often walk on the streets without getting wet.

23. If you want to eat cold dishes, you have to eat them while they are cold, otherwise the cold dishes will heat up after a while.

24. Lying on the bed, braise it; spread out the mat and grill it on the teppanyaki; after getting out of bed, steam it; go out and stir-fry it; take a swim and boil it; on the way back, fry it; after entering the house, return it to the pot.

More funny jokes about the hot weather

Funny quotes about the hot weather, comments about the hot weather