At the age of 26, I was lying on the operating table for a kidney transplant

After more than ten days of rescue, I saved my life. After 5 years of dialysis, a kidney transplant was successful, but the kidney became necrotic and was removed. I was transferred from the ICU back to the post-transplant recovery ward, only to return to my starting point after going round and round.

In my junior year of 2012, I traveled to Pingyao during the National Day holiday and returned to school. I always felt extremely tired and my vision became a little blurry. I went to the school infirmary for consultation, but the doctor only asked me to go back. Get some rest and apply a hot towel to your eyes.

A few days passed, but there was no effect. In addition to the eyelids becoming more swollen, the ankles also became enlarged.

I was a little worried, so I went to the First Affiliated Hospital of Zhengzhou University to register. The urine protein test was " ". The B-ultrasound showed that both kidneys were 9cm long and 4cm wide, and the serum creatinine was 468. The physician told me with certainty. : "Both kidneys have begun to shrink. I estimate that chronic nephritis is likely, but I still don't know what caused it."

"Doctor, is my illness serious? Can it be cured?" Then At the time, I didn't know what these indicators meant.

"Whether it is serious or not depends on how you say it. As for whether it can be cured, there is currently no good way."

The doctor did not answer my question directly. But I understand that expressing it so euphemistically means that this disease is probably very difficult to deal with - the last time I heard such an expression was when my late uncle was diagnosed with bladder cancer.

I wiped the sweat from my palms and wrinkled my pants. I tried hard to control myself and wanted to say "thank you" to the doctor, but I couldn't. I stood up holding on to the table in front of me. The doctor comforted me: "Look at it, pay attention to your diet, don't overwork yourself, and eat regularly." Dialysis is not much different from normal people."

I clutched the test sheet, leaned against the hospital corridor, closed my eyes, and burst into tears.

This year, I am just 21 years old, I have not graduated from college, I am not married, I have no job, and I have not experienced too many things. Why is it suddenly like this? I have no idea.

On the way back to school, I called my dad. I didn’t want him to worry, but as I spoke, I felt like I couldn’t control myself and started to choke. My dad said, “Don’t cry. "If you are sick, we will treat you. I will go to your school right away."

When I got to school, I didn't want to talk to anyone except texting my girlfriend to tell her "I'm going home for a while." The Academic Affairs Office asked me if I could continue to study in school after suffering from this disease. The teacher on duty was not sure. He quickly replied to me after consulting: "In principle, yes, but my friend, your health is urgent, why don't you take a break from school for a year?" ——Of course, I was forced to drop out of school later.

Dad rushed to school and looked at my case. He refused to believe how I could get this disease at such a young age. He insisted on dragging me to get a diagnosis. After a renal biopsy, the results showed: "Crescentic nephritis, IGA grade 5, global fibrosis."

Neither my dad nor I understand, but we generally know that this is not a good outcome. In the end, it was the doctor's words that ruthlessly shattered our father and son's remaining illusions: "It's basically uremia. Let's make a basket to nurse him first."

I refused dialysis at the time because I didn't want to imagine Like a monster, chained to a machine for the rest of his life. The word "dialysis" is to me what "jumping" was to young Shi Tiesheng. I don't want to hear anyone mention it.

When I got home, I stubbornly believed in the traditional Chinese medicine prescriptions I searched on the Internet. My grandma also found many folk remedies for me: soaking frogs in vinegar, eating fish maws raw, no matter how disgusting or hard to swallow, I forced myself to eat it. Even though he went to the hospital for emergency treatment, he didn't get better at all. More and more water accumulated in his body, which oppressed his heart and made it difficult to breathe.

Three months later, my physical condition worsened to the point where I would die without dialysis. In the last few days at home, I even kept having hallucinations. Later I found out that it was because my kidneys were not working and my body was not detoxifying at all.

My father and brother-in-law dragged me hard and "twisted" me to Zunyi Hospital, where I was treated by Dr. Tan.

My father asked him: "Can you please advise my child? We are not willing to let him undergo dialysis, but his life is very important."

Dr. Tan looked at me, said nothing, and took me to dialysis. room, pointing to the patient who was undergoing dialysis on the hospital bed and said to me: "This one is 31 years old. His creatinine was just over 1,200 when he was diagnosed. After half a year of dialysis, his wife divorced him with their children; this one is younger than you, less than 12. I didn’t pay attention to purpura when I was 7 years old, and it eventually developed into uremia. I have been undergoing dialysis here for 2 years. The one over there was originally acute nephritis, which can be recovered, but was delayed by traditional Chinese medicine and became uremia. What do you want him to do... Who? I don’t want to get this disease, but if I get it, what do you think I’ll do? You’re still young. If you do dialysis, you might be able to get a kidney in the future.”

This is my first choice. This is the first time I have seen other uremic patients in real life.

Since that day, I have spent almost 5 years in this dialysis room. From once every two days at the beginning, to three times a week after half a year, I finally slowed down. I slowly accepted the reality that I had uremia. For a long time, I have been taking care of myself with almost perverted caution - strict dietary restrictions, good water control, and only had to be hospitalized once for a cold after several years of dialysis.

At around 10 a.m. on February 17, 2017, I was learning decoration from a master in a small apartment. Suddenly I received a call from Dr. Tan asking me how I was doing. I proudly answered Dr. Tan: "I'm in good condition, nothing abnormal."

"There is a kidney source here. Do you want to consider a transplant? What is your financial situation? Can you keep up? It's at least 200,000." Phone call Said the other end.

This phone call really surprised and delighted me. What I was happy about was that this kind of good thing that I had nothing to do with could really happen to me. I had to participate in kidney transplantation some time ago. I had no expectations at all; I was surprised that it cost so much money.

During the phone call, Dr. Tan specifically told me that a patient had just undergone a transplant and was in good condition. However, he later became infected and was in intensive care for a long time. He spent more than 400,000 yuan on it. The family’s financial situation was really poor. If not, the family members are forced to give up treatment. In the end, both people and money were lost.

Dr. Tan must have sensed my hesitation and comforted me: "If the money is not available, just wait until next time. There is still a chance. Give me a reply before 12 noon."

After hanging up the phone, I calmed down alone on the balcony for a long time. Who doesn't want to be a normal person? I decided I wanted to take a gamble.

I made three phone calls, my dad, my brother, and Xiaofeng—Xiaofeng was my childhood friend. We have been together in junior high school and high school. After I fell ill, he stayed with me and helped me. I was very busy - they unanimously supported my kidney transplant.

My family’s total savings totaled less than 200,000 yuan, so everyone started to scrape together some 20,000 yuan for this one and 30,000 yuan for that one. By noon, I had barely raised 400,000 yuan, and I sent a reply to Dr. Tan. After picking up the phone, I was ready to pack up and set off. I even brought my pajamas - what if I could actually have surgery?

At 3:30 in the afternoon, when the group walked to Huichuan Avenue, they received a call from Dr. Tan. I thought he was urging me to go somewhere, so I hurriedly said: "I'll be there soon, I'm already in the city."

Unexpectedly, Dr. Tan said very apologetically: "I'm sorry, the donor's family has decided not to donate at the moment, so the operation cannot be performed." I didn't know what to say for a while, and Dr. Tan added: " You’re already in the city, do you want to come over and let the two of us communicate?”

You’re already here, why not go and have a chat? In the hospital office, Dr. Tan talked to me about various issues and costs of transplant surgery. I also specifically asked about how to exercise well at home so that I can wait for the transplant at any time.

Then we headed back home. At 6:30 in the afternoon, the car arrived at Tuping, and we would arrive home in 40 minutes. Just as the car was climbing uphill, Dr. Tan's call came again: "Where are you? After communicating with the family, we decided to donate and come to the hospital immediately."

We were all surprised, I told Dr. Tan and we were already on the way home. He felt a little regretful, but finally said: "Let's try to come as soon as possible, just in case it works.

”

So we turned around and rushed to the hospital, and it was almost 9 o’clock in the evening when we arrived.

The hospital was still the same, the corridors were full of beds, and the head nurse was on the phone. Contact her staff to arrange staff for tonight's transplant surgery.

When I entered the pre-operative consultation room, I saw the two patients who were with me as candidates: a little brother with a face full of acne scars. , more than a dozen family members accompanied him, and I heard he was driving a Lexus. One of them was a staggering old man, almost 60 years old, and only had his daughter accompanying him.

I found out from their conversation later. , the family members of these two patients are all medical staff in the hospital. To be honest, this makes me a little depressed, maybe there is nothing I can do - but looking at the condition of the two patients, I comfort myself.

After a brief introduction, Dr. Tan meant to do all the examinations, and whoever is most suitable will be examined.

Chest, lungs, liver and gallbladder, ECG, gastrointestinal, blood vessels, color ultrasound, until early in the morning. At around 3 o'clock, the penultimate gastroscopy was performed. Because the gastroscopy room was temporarily working overtime and there was no anesthesiologist, it could not be performed without pain. When "Lexus" and I went to the gastroscopy room, the old man was vomiting. The old man has low blood pressure, so he doesn’t worry about the danger of high blood pressure.

My blood pressure was 140, which may be due to the fatigue that day. After talking endlessly about the many risks of gastroscopy for high blood pressure, everyone fell silent. After a long time, "Lexus" asked in frustration: "Can I skip this examination? The doctor firmly denied his request, and the gastroscopist was very impatient: "I'll give you five minutes to think about it. If you don't do it, I'll go back and rest." "

At this time, Dr. Tan came. After understanding the situation, he said: "This is definitely risky, and transplant surgery is even more risky. Besides, with this disease of yours, which one has normal blood pressure? ? "

Five years of dialysis have isolated me from real life for too long. I am eager to be a normal person.

"I'll do it! "I stood up first.

Fortunately, all the examinations went smoothly. At 5 o'clock in the morning, basically the results came out.

Regarding the results of the preoperative conversation, Dr. Tan did Evaluation: "Lexus" had a cold and fever, so he rejected it directly. His family was very disappointed, and they heard that he was also a heavy smoker; the old man's test results were okay, but he had some hypoglycemia; Dr. Tan finally determined that I was the candidate for surgery.

This is the first surgery in my life, and it is also the surgery that I have been thinking about for so many years. I am both nervous and looking forward to it.

The next step is skin preparation, and a slightly fat middle-aged male doctor comes. Question: “Who is going to have the surgery? Come prepare the skin. "I went to the next room with him. There was a bed in it. He pointed to the bed and said, "Lie down on your back and take off your pants." "Seeing that I had finished taking off my trousers, I stopped moving and ordered again: "Take off your underwear too. "After taking it off, I saw a razor in his hand, and I realized what the skin preparation was for.

In order to prevent the anal sphincter from relaxing, I also did an enema, along with the chest Feeling hungry on my back, I waited anxiously for the notification.

After about ten minutes, the nurse took us down to the operating room floor in the elevator. The elevator was unusually fast and there was no one on the way. After talking, I waited for a while at the door of the operating room. A nurse in surgical clothes opened the door and led me in.

In the long and narrow corridor, there were operating rooms one after another on both sides. There is no end. When I walked into the operating room, the nurse asked me to lie on the operating table, asked me some basic information, and then went out, leaving me lying upright on it.

There was silence all around. I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat, and it was like a slide show in front of me. The people and events in the past were all coming to me. Thinking of the helplessness I felt when I was ill and the grievances I had suffered in the past few years, my tear ducts felt like they were soaked in vinegar. My body was sore and I didn’t know how long it had been before I fell asleep unconsciously.

I was woken up by someone. When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by a large group of people wearing green surgical clothes. In front of the doctors and nurses wearing masks, I knew the operation was about to begin.

They first asked me to adjust to a sleeping position, then tied my right hand tightly, and then put an oxygen mask on my face. When I took oxygen for the first time, I felt like I was suffocating. The nurse must have noticed my nervousness and comforted me very calmly: "Relax, relax, and breathe naturally."

The next step was to inject and intubate the tied right arm. After everything was done, the nurse helped me unbutton my clothes, take off my pants, and started disinfecting. The iodophor made me feel very cold, and the anesthesia effect came quickly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep again.

The operation took a long time. I was told that I didn’t leave the operating room until 12 noon the next day. At that time, I felt like someone was calling me and slapping me on the face. After I woke up reluctantly, I still couldn’t. When I woke up, I only realized that I was being pushed unsteadily, and my memory was blurry and intermittent.

I vaguely remember that when I came out of the operating room, my family was waiting for me at the door. My parents, brothers, and girlfriend saw me coming out, and they all gathered around me. The operation went well, and everyone was very happy. .

On the third day, I woke up completely. My hands and feet were tied. Seeing that I was very awake, the nurse explained the precautions to me and loosened the ties. The nurse asked me to get up and walk around, but I still felt a little pain.

Blood and water were discharged from the catheter in the abdomen and accumulated in the drainage bag. This was a good sign. The whole family was very happy at the time - this was the first time I saw my own blood after 5 years of dialysis. Urine. We bought measuring cups and cylinders to record the amount of urine output and intake every day. Slowly, the amount of urine increased.

Maybe I was happy too early. On the 10th day, the urine output suddenly began to decrease. I had a bad feeling in my heart. The doctor was also very nervous and began to change the medication plan and increase the "strong dosage". The amount of "pine" and "tacrolimus" affected her for 4 days. Everyone is on tenterhooks, fearing that the newly transplanted "kidney baby" (a nickname for kidneys used by uremic patients) will have problems again. Due to the imbalance of inflow and outflow, my body began to swell again, and I had to start dialysis again to "remove water", which was done once a day.

Fortunately, on the 16th day, the urine output began to increase, and the balance of in and out was slowly maintained.

On the afternoon of the 21st day, I was finally discharged from the hospital.

But in the end, something happened.

I clearly remember that on the night I was preparing for the transplant, I was in the hospital and saw a patient on a bed in the corridor. The body produced antibodies, and after the transplanted kidney was removed due to necrosis, the left eye has been in pain and cannot be opened. Even now, it is still afraid of light.

On the 7th day after being discharged from hospital, my left ear started to hurt. My tonsils were inflamed and swollen, which was very painful. Since I had little experience, I still held the thought of enduring it and getting over it. It didn't get better until the afternoon, so I called Dr. Tan. He comforted me and said, "Don't be too nervous. Taking hormones and low immunity will make it easy to catch a cold."

But on the 8th day, The symptoms still did not get better, but became more serious. Dr. Tan felt that the situation was not good and asked me to be hospitalized immediately.

After I was hospitalized, the test results were very bad and I couldn’t control the deterioration. Dr. Tan was helpless and suggested that I go to the Affiliated Hospital of Xiangya Medical College: “My teacher’s hospital has advanced technology, experience and equipment, and it is definitely better than here. There is a way." After communicating with him, he told me that there was no need to go there, his tutor would take the high-speed train to come over and see me.

After Dr. Tan’s mentor arrived, he immediately found a machine to perform a puncture examination on me. The results of the examination were regrettable—the transplanted kidney was necrotic and there was no room for recovery—according to my body’s condition and reaction, It is recommended to be hospitalized immediately to remove the newly transplanted kidney.

The "kidney baby" is gone.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I looked through my hospitalization records one day and found out that after being hospitalized again, I had been admitted to the ICU three times and received three critical illness notices. I had always been in a daze before. The only impression I have is: I suddenly started to feel uncomfortable during dialysis in the morning. Cold sweat kept pouring out like spring water. I felt that the sweat was burning my eyes. My hair, clothes and pants were soaked. The blood in my body felt like it had been boiled dry. I wanted to drain it. All the bones in the body were taken out and rubbed one by one.

I was so uncomfortable that I was in a daze and moved around unconsciously. My family and nurses held me down tightly.

The doctors advised my family to give up, saying, "Don't end up losing money and life." My dad immediately cried after hearing this. He hugged my mom with red eyes and said, "I can't sign this." Ah, I can't let my son hate me when he goes underground."

I remembered again that in the ward after the transplant, an old lady asked my father: "How much do you have in your 60s?" My father smiled and didn't reply. , but I know that my father has just turned 50 this year. In these years, he has spent his own life to accompany me through it.

After more than ten days of rescue, I saved my life, regained consciousness, and was transferred from the ICU back to the recovery ward. It feels very uncomfortable to go round and round but come back to the starting point. I also heard that Dr. Tan later performed two more transplant operations, and the patients recovered very well, which I was very envious of.

My lungs have been infected all the time, so I can only take amino acids, fatty acids, and anti-inflammatory drugs every day. Because the concentration of fatty acids is very high, the infusion is very slow. I often start injecting as soon as I open my eyes. Over time, The blood vessels are as hard as bones. After lying in the hospital bed for too long, my muscles atrophied. Only my head could move, and my hands and feet were like logs.

Dr. Tan always told me with a worried look on his face: "As long as you feel better immediately, move more quickly. If you don't continue like this, your muscles will be completely set and truly paralyzed." But. I was already a little numb listening to his words. Ever since I heard the word "uremia" at the Affiliated Hospital of Zhengzhou University, I knew that I could only crawl forward in the future.

I lay in the hospital for more than 100 days, relying on my parents to help me lift my legs and hands, massage and apply heat all day long. In mid-July, I was finally discharged from the hospital again - even though I was discharged, I still spent most of my day rocking my wheelchair along Hangzhou Road to the hospital for acupuncture and dialysis.

Yes, I am back on the dialysis bandwagon.

I vaguely remember that in September 2013, my one-year leave of absence was approaching. I didn’t want to drop out of school, and my father didn’t want me to drop out of school, but the school’s administrative teacher said to me: “Classmate, your illness will not be cured in a short time. Of course, the school does not want every student to drop out of school, but you are here If something happens to the school, we will be responsible." My father wanted to sign a liability exemption agreement with the school, but the teacher said, "The agreement doesn't matter. If something happens, the school won't be able to escape if you make trouble."

In the end. , the school promised me that I could return to school within 5 years, and if I had a kidney transplant, I could continue to study.

But now, this time limit means nothing.

It has been a year since the kidney transplant. Sometimes the scene of the operation still appears in my dreams. I don’t know whose kidney was transplanted into the body and what kind of pain he experienced? But I am still alive, which is a very happy thing, although it is so insignificant that when I was healthy, I never realized it.

I don’t know if I will be able to get married in the future or if I will have children of my own. I even often mention to my parents the words “if I go before them”. I don't want to die, although it is inevitable, but am I really afraid? Will you be afraid?

When writing this article, I have been thinking about a question: happiness does not lie in happiness itself, but in your delicate feelings about it and never being satisfied.

Can I really be happy without illness?

Author | Tuan Bo Er

Editor | Shen Yanni

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