The sadness of a 30-year-old single mother: I am afraid of the New Year because there is no man to accompany me. What should I do?

Fireworks were everywhere outside the window of 0 1, which reflected the dark sky brightly. Qing Xue said that at this time, she felt extremely lonely and even a little scared. She used to like this bustling atmosphere, but now she is more and more afraid. She thinks this carnival belongs to someone else. She is just a bystander, a lonely and helpless bystander.

Qing Xue has been divorced for two years. She was not so lonely during the Spring Festival last year, but this year is very different. Now she is very afraid of Chinese New Year. In everyone's laughter, her silence seemed so discordant. She even hates her failed marriage and shady lover now.

Things have to start from five years ago. Qing Xue doesn't get along well with her husband. After fierce struggle, she chose the cold war. Everything her husband said fell on deaf ears. She thought that if there was no formal and sincere apology, she would ignore him.

Maybe my feelings are too empty and lonely, maybe I doubt life, and Qing Xue occasionally wonders if I chose the wrong person, so there are so many unhappy marriages.

That man named Fan broke into his life at this time. He is humorous and brings surprises to Qing Xue's boring life. I can't help but want to see Fan with guilt every day. She knew that the problems between her and her husband had not been handled properly, and Fan's invasion was undoubtedly taking advantage of it. She knows better that she has provoked a married man, which is even more immoral.

However, a moment's happiness can actually make her happy all day and can't extricate herself from extramarital affairs. The more so, the more indifferent she is to her husband. Finally, her marriage broke down, but after living together for so many years, there was always affection and habit but no love.

During the divorce, Qing Xue cried. She knew that she would be a single mother from now on. Fortunately, Teacher Fan is a beacon in her empty feelings. With him, her material world will not collapse.

After the divorce, I secretly vowed to live a good life with Mr. Fan, even if I could not give her marriage, it would be enough to give her love. What Qing Xue didn't expect was that even the best love is fleeting. In the process of getting along with Fan, she found that Fan was also very enthusiastic about other women, and the one who fell in love was very jealous. Finally, after a date, she fought with Fan Da, and the quarrel became more and more fierce. Finally, Fan turned and left.

Qing Xue couldn't control her emotions until she stabilized. It turns out that I am so ridiculous and naive. It must be her out of control that makes Fan sick. She used to pretend to be such a lady, but she was so hopeless in front of human nature. In Fan's mind, she may not be a perfect lover.

Xue Qing couldn't wait for the man's reply in her constant whimsy. She wanted to go to him, but she didn't dare. That doesn't mean she was trapped in a trap and told Fan's wife the truth. This practice of digging her own grave is the most stupid. She can only wait for the man to appear and get back together with her after he calms down.

Qing Xue is waiting for a man's compromise, but only if she ignores Her Majesty's entreaties. After reconciliation, the man said a word to Qing Xue and broke up again. Xue is afraid of losing it. Think about how docile a man is and how she can accept the pain of losing it. In the face of love, Qing Xue compromised.

But if she wants love, she must accept the loneliness that she can't see. When a man can't see her for his family, when his wife doesn't allow him to go out, and when a man is too busy to care about her for his career, the only thing Qing Xue can do is wait, wait for the pain and pity in the man's heart, wait for God's mercy and wait for my luck.

She quarreled with Fan for the second time because she found the ambiguous message in his mobile phone. This time, she knocked over the jealousy and set a good example. Fan is not angry this time. He made an exception and apologized to Xiang, who admitted that he was not good enough.

Qing Xue was moved. For two days in a row, she secretly vowed in her heart that she must be better to him. Because he can change for her, it is really emotional to let a man do it for her.

However, Qing Xue's gratitude lasted only two days. On the third day, the man did not hear from him. Qing Xue didn't answer the phone or send a message. Qing Xue informed me that he must have been very busy. She told me to wait. I waited all morning, but the man still didn't move. After waiting all afternoon, the man still didn't move.

Qing Xue's self-esteem was hurt. She thought, if men want to break up with her, they can directly ask after their struggle. Why do they have to make a resolution to break up with her for two days first? Moreover, there must be a sentence to break up, so quietly, she was uneasy and uncomfortable. This kind of torture and suffering is even worse than the divorce.

A whole week later, Qing Xue received a phone call from a man. At that moment, Qing Xue cried, as if the grievances of these days were finally comforted. The man also said that if we make trouble again, we will really break up. Qing Xue said she wouldn't make trouble in the future, and she didn't have the strength to make trouble. Qing Xue thinks that after this reconciliation, the relationship between them should be stable.

However, she didn't expect that the person who completely ended was herself. After experiencing all kinds of pains, Qing Xue suddenly realized what a man can bring to her. Materially and physically, he can't bring her anything. On the contrary, as long as he is unhappy, he can ignore her. No matter how much pain Qing Xue suffered, he turned a blind eye. He wants to make up. If he wants to be indifferent to Qing Xue, he won't get any response. She is a divorced single mother. What she needs is a man who can bring her warmth, not a full-fledged ancestor.

Qing Xue judged Mr. Fan in her mind, and she no longer regarded him as an emotional support. She also saw that they may not be love at all, because of their unstable emotions that disappear without saying a word, and they are still far from the word love.

Qing Xue also thought about remarriage, but at the thought of her ex-husband's attitude of not taking office and her guilt-free heart, she immediately rejected her idea. Now there is no one in Qing Xue's heart, but she longs for someone who really sympathizes with her in her life.

Where is the deepest loneliness, Qing Xue thought, the deepest loneliness is in the lights of thousands of families. The flavor of the year is getting stronger and stronger, but her heart is getting colder and colder. She said she was afraid of the New Year. Because there is no man to accompany her, the Chinese New Year is a festive day for others, but it is my panic. ——END——

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