Laugh and sell popsicles.

Laugh at your stomach and sell popsicles.

Before, I once thought about such a problem with my friends. Why can some men attract women and some men can't? Because you can tell jokes. Below, I collected some jokes for you.

Sell popsicles

A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time, so he was embarrassed to shout. At this time, someone suddenly shouted over there: selling popsicles ~ ~ ~ selling popsicles ~ ~? . Hearing this, my friend shouted with joy: Me too ~ ~ ~ Me too ~ ~? . ?

? heritage

In Chinese class, the teacher asked everyone to talk? One? A form of idiom, such as? Monopolistic? .

The painter's son:? One stroke, one painting. ?

The captain's son: one wave is not flat, and another is rising. ?

Son of a real estate agent:? One room, one living room, one kitchen and one bathroom. ?

? pennies from the sky

Just now, I was lying on the balcony upstairs eating pie. I heard a man and a woman talking downstairs. The boy blushed and said, can you tell me something about a person? The girl said coldly, I'll tell you as long as pie falls from the sky? As soon as I listened, I threw the pie at the girl's head? Come on! Little brother, I can only help you here!

? WeChat

I complained to a buddy: People near WeChat look at photos like beautiful women, but I am basically miserable! ?

The elder brothers smiled faintly and said:? You are so naive. You said it was WeChat. If everything is beautiful, it should be called Quanxin! ?

? be desperate

Only the restaurant ordered two dishes for dinner.

Eat the first one: Is there anything worse in the world? ! ?

Eat the second one: Shit! There really is 0.

? People in this society should communicate more.

Just now, I was alone on the train. Now people on the train are playing mobile phones except those who eat. This is a sad social phenomenon. Another person who was eating echoed, yes, there is a lack of communication between people. After less than five minutes, the two men took out their mobile phones almost at the same time and began to play there.

? Who is Third Aunt?

On this day, I suddenly found that I have a big aunt, a second aunt, a four-menstruation and a five-menstruation, but I don't have a three-menstruation. So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt? I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young? My dad said: your third aunt is your mother!

? Why do you always wear so little?

A female colleague insisted on wearing a halter to work. Curious, I asked her: Why do you always wear so little?

? Gee, no. Don't talk nonsense She answered shyly? I made it for manager Zhang, not for manager He.

? Kill fish for the first time

My sister hesitated for a long time to kill fish for the first time and didn't dare to do it. After a while, when I went to see it again, I saw her holding the fish in her hands and pressing it under the water. I asked her what she wanted. She said:? Wait until you drown it? Murder after drowning!

? The Internet is a magical place.

The internet is really a magical place. Single for 25 years, finally found a girlfriend online! She will come to my house soon! ! ! Ok, forget it, the courier has arrived, and I'll sign for it!

? Legendary reply

Q:? If your opponent falls into the river, he can't swim, but you can. What should you do?

God replied:? All beings are equal. You can't let others despair when they need you most because of your own prejudice. Life is precious. Everyone has his own world. Even a rival in love has his parents, relatives and friends, and can't be selfish. So, I will jump into the water, swim in front of him and watch him study. ?

? I come from the love of the stars.

Professor Du: Who are you? It's too noisy at night-

Qian: I am a big star, Qian. You don't know me?

Professor Du: Money, I still admire Wan.

Qian: Wan is my cousin.

Professor Du: What about Bai?

Qian: My cousin ... well ... I also have a niece ... named Mai Yi Song.

? Xiamen city

Background: There are two districts in Xiamen, one is Siming and the other is Huli.

A colleague was transferred from Siming District to Huli District, and a colleague from other places called the office and asked him: Is XX there? A: He left and transferred to the lake. The other person was silent for a while and asked, Why are you so careless? Have you fished it out?

? The driver is also very excited.

I took a taxi just now, and the driver asked me if I listened to music. Let me tell you something. I didn't expect this idiot to sing to me all the way. . . The goods sang to get up and shouted to himself:? Where is the applause? Then honk the horn a few times. This is not the climax, this wonderful flower cried again: where is your hand? Let me see your hands! ? I was thinking, and then I saw him start the wiper?

? I have many complaints.

Last weekend, I played CF in the internet cafe. My cell phone rang suddenly, so I answered the phone. My friend's sincere words came to my ear. I am in my twenties. I know I can't find a girlfriend by playing games online all day. I wonder if I can make a difference. What's your opinion?

I have many complaints. I need one of these three. . .

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