Call your friend first and then call you dog _ Sad humor funny signature

Smart for a lifetime, decadent for a while.

Every time someone mentions everything about you, I will whisper something about me in my heart.

I didn't reply to your message because I was cold, but because my hands were cold.

◆ There are three religions and nine streams in the world. Has Li Bai ever hesitated?

◆ People who have not replied to my message can also update the message.

You are my dream, full of stars.

◆ I was pulled out before I could flirt.

I wish you good luck. See you tonight at King's Canyon.

◆ ? All the other children were taken home. Why am I the only one who was beaten in King's Canyon?

Come back, I can't fool alone.

Take my hand, little guy. Don't get lost this time.

Don't be silly. Ask yourself if he loves you.

It's winter. I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I'm better. I am in Hainan!

◆ Funny signature: If a fat man jumps into your window on Christmas Eve, grabs you and puts you into a sack, don't worry, because my Christmas wish is you.

◆ There are no two ministers in the world.

Life is short and sweet since I met you.

◆ Raise a soldier for a thousand days, and use it for a while.

It's cute that someone should take this sentence seriously.

It is my misfortune to meet you at the best age.

This immortal brother might as well accept me first, so as not to make me a scourge in the future.

If a fat man jumps into your window on Christmas Eve, grabs you and stuffs you into a sack, don't worry, because my Christmas wish is you.

Be careful not to be eaten if it is so sweet again.

The world is too messy. You might as well follow me.

In winter, I want to run and run into your heart.

Really, games are much more interesting than love.

I want a hug, because I am a baby.

It's cold, please give me a hug.

◆ Why do you want to fall in love? Isn't the mobile phone fun? Or a place where there is no money to spend?

Poverty limited my imagination.

It's always interesting to tell yourself from other people's mouths.

I hope you will be a good boy in the future and find someone you like to be together forever, which is more lovely.

◆ Uniqlo has been in the same boat for thousands of years.

We should be in a brightly lit room, with a cup of hot coffee on the table, and two people lazily leaning on the sofa wrapped in blankets, watching the heavy snow outside the window.

My favorite is very precious. I will give it to you only if it is the best in the world with me.

◆ You are still the same, mental retardation is still the same, but I like it.

Will I be your mother or daughter?

I just want to be your little devil. As long as you are fierce, I will jump into your arms at once.

It's cold, but I'm warm

In front of people, you call a friend, but behind people, you call a dog.

It's cold, squirrels start to harvest fruits, and farmers start to harvest grains. I have my own tradition. I collect you.

Don't come to see me catch up with you.

◆ All your praised beauty has traces of ps.

I think you want to talk to you about stars, the moon and so on.

It's cold. Can I stay in your heart?

Do you have a bad relationship? Shun, there was no one along the way.

I hope Santa Claus can put the person I like in my bed on Christmas Day.

Everything is when you are here, and everything is you when you are not.

First, life is only three days, and people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical.

Second, some things can only be remembered. Some people can only be passers-by I can't escape those memories after all, I can't forget that person, and I can't change the role of a one-man show. As the years passed, I meditated and recalled, looking back on the past, and the scars of my thoughts became deeper and deeper. Familiar with many years ago, many years later, everything has already vanished, you are still you, I am still me, the same stranger.

Third, it doesn't matter how difficult it is to do something, whether it will have a result or not. Even if it fails, there is nothing wrong with it. The key is whether you have the courage to get rid of the shackles and face it bravely. Many times, we don't lack methods, what we lack is the determination and courage to go forward bravely. Don't be timid from the beginning and don't look back and forth when things are going on. Only in this way can everything be possible.

Fourthly, but sadly, in real life.

Mine is mine after all. I am your passer-by after all. You never loved me. Nothing is destined to happen between you and me. No matter how I cross, no matter how I want to get close to you, you will still leave me. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I really want to see you.

6. According to the British Daily Mail, a study found that people frequently play mobile phones and send emails before going to bed will affect the quality of sleep, and make them feel worse the next day, making them anxious and depressed.

Seven, the woman asked: Do you really love me? Do you love me or her more? Often, he would look at her with a smile and ask, What do you think? When you ask a person for an answer, if the other person hesitates for more than three seconds, often, the answer he finally gives is not the true answer in his heart, but an answer deliberately drawn to please you.

Eight, when you are here, everything is you!

Nine, the happiness on the face, others can see. Who can feel the pain inside me?

10. The greatest act of unrequited love is realization. You don't love me, but I help you. A true secret love is a lifelong career, and I won't give up because he is far away from you. Without this feeling, don't fall in love easily.

An unacceptable love needs not sadness, but time, a time to forget. A deeply broken heart needs not sympathy, but understanding.

12. What loves you most is often not your favorite.

Thirteen, life is endless and lonely. Loneliness is the eternal theme of love. I am alone with my shadow. It said it had a whisper and wanted to tell me that it missed you. It turns out that my shadow and I are thinking about you.

Fourteen, accustomed to crying in the dark, learned to be strong and stubborn.

Fifteen, life is not bitter, what is bitter is too much desire; The mind is not tired, but it is tired to catch too much. The course of life is less desire and less pursuit; The profound meaning of fate is to learn to give up and wait, give up all the noise and glitz, and wait for the soul to calm down slowly. No matter how bitter yesterday was, we should recite it into happy memories with today's smile; Once tired, we should use the present forgetfulness to cross the world of mortals and make our hearts calm.

When a man secretly loves two girls at the same time, who he loves more depends on who loves him less.

Seventeen, when a person does not love you and wants to leave you.

18. When we go from ignorance to thoroughness, we need to take some detours and get hurt. This is the symbol of our journey and the price of our growth. Don't avoid because of fear, but exclude some people and things because of protection. Only when you have experienced it can you taste the twists and turns of this world. Even if we leave, the pain will only last for a while; Some seemingly detours, we bypassed, but the pain never dissipated.

Nineteen, love is precious until it is divided. Many people don't know how to cherish what they have until they lose it. In fact, what they are most familiar with is the most precious.

Twenty, since you are lovelorn, you must give up. It is impossible to find the broken kite.

2 1. Never say goodbye when you want to continue; Never give up when you can still bear it; When you are reluctant to part with someone, never, never say that you no longer love him or her.

22. A man's ex-girlfriend is a woman's lifelong rival in love. No matter who failed them when they broke up, more than 90% will succeed if they come back to men for help many years later. Many men won't even refuse to have physical relations with their ex-girlfriends. The reason why men are easily entangled with their ex-girlfriends is because in their hearts, men's possessiveness has always hinted that their ex-girlfriends are still their women.

23. I have been sleeping alone. In my sleep, you appeared before my eyes. I want to kiss you, my love. I want to kiss you tonight.

The degree to which a person likes you is generally proportional to the speed at which he replies to your text messages.

25. Life is beautiful and sad! Fortunately, there is only one life, but sadly, life cannot be repeated!

26. We are tired because we often hesitate between persistence and giving up. The reason why we are worried is that our memory is too good. What should be remembered and what should not be remembered will remain in memory. We suffer because we pursue too much; The reason we are unhappy is that we expect too much, not that we have too little, but that we care too much.

Twenty-seven, he said, I'm afraid of you. Yes, you were afraid before you liked her.

Talking to loneliness, I just don't want to believe that I have left.

Twenty-nine, in love, you say one thing and do another.

30. There is nothing that can't pass, only the mood that can't pass. We can't let go of many things, such as being cheated, retaliating, satirizing, resenting and criticizing. Most people only care about the matter itself and indulge in the unpleasant emotions it brings. In fact, as long as we change our mood, the world will be completely different.

Thirty-one, this sentence is suitable for those children who can't let go. In fact, sometimes we have to think about it. Is it true love or unwilling?

32. Missing someone is like drinking a glass of cold water and then dripping into tears.

33. liking someone is a feeling, and not liking someone is an easy fact to explain, but this feeling is unspeakable.

Thirty-four, together for a long time, can't avoid disputes. Some lovers often quarrel, but year after year, they are still together and never leave; Some lovers never quarrel, outsiders envy their sweetness, but break up like lightning; Quarrel is crazy communication. People who are willing to stay and quarrel will always love you, but they are very patient. They will gradually become a time bomb, suddenly explode one day, and all their feelings will be destroyed instantly.

35. The best doesn't mean that it suits you, and what suits you is not necessarily the best. Which one would you choose?

Thirty-six, but if you really fall in love with someone, you will have an emotional cleanliness, and you can't stand the other person's little emotional impurity, both physically and mentally.

Thirty-seven, people keep leaving or entering in life, so what they see is invisible, and what they remember is forgotten! In life, people keep gaining and losing, so they can't see, remember to forget!

38, elegance is quicksand, and old age is a period of time.

39. There is always only one way to forget a relationship. Neither time nor new love can make you forget a relationship. There is only one reason. Time is not long enough, and the new love is not good enough. Amy Cheung

Forty, a love is too painful, maybe it's just a dream I haven't forgotten, which makes me awake. I wonder if your feelings can bury my love for you.

Forty-one, the dream is fleeting, go back to Qushui to watch the fireworks break the full moon.

Forty-two, if your scarred wings are still beyond legend, please don't break my fantasy, don't hurt my thin dream, the sound of laundry scattered on the beach and the navigation of iron boats always make all the breath of life surge and deeply ravage my eyes that I can't leave for a long time.

Forty-three, the heart should let you hear, love should let you see, not afraid to admit how attached I am to you; When I miss you, I hope you can receive my sincere message!

44. If betrayal is a kind of courage, it takes more courage to accept betrayal. The former only needs to be brave enough, or it may just be impulsive, while the latter tests tolerance, not as simple as impulsive, but only takes time.

Forty-five, think about my love for you so deep, pure and single-minded, I really hope to be with you.

Forty-six, everyone's phone book will have a number that you will never call and never delete; In everyone's heart, there will be someone you will never mention and never forget.

47. In my last relationship, I devoted myself wholeheartedly. I was seriously injured, so I was afraid of being hurt this time, so I kept it. This means that the rotten person who hurt you last time got the most complete you, and this developing lover got a very cold you. I know you are protecting yourself, but if this is a business, your store will definitely be a bad customer who will never come again and get the best service, while new customers will be left out in the cold. Why can't this store be closed?

48. If you cry, it will always be my face that is wet, and if you are sad, it will always be my heart. Open your palm to the sky, there is sunshine in your palm, that's the occasional smile I miss you; There are raindrops in the palm of your hand, which are tears that occasionally fall when I miss you.

Forty-nine, the food in the kitchen is only for you, the pillow on the bed is only for you, the clothes of the couple are only for you, the sweet love songs are only for you, the missing sentences are only for you, and the missing messages are only for you!

Fifty years old, I am enjoying my sadness and pain. After a long time, I became numb and used to it.

What makes you laugh is husband and wife.

1. When I went to my mother's house for dinner, my wife flipped through the photo album on the coffee table and asked me jealously: Who is the girl holding your arm? Good skin and figure.

My sister said aside, what's your expression? This is me.

On the way home, my wife said to me with a big bag of fruit snacks sent by my sister: How about it? Is my flattery okay?

2. I was packing my clothes. When I saw some old clothes, I threw them to my husband and joked that I didn't want to wear them. Take them to your little wife outside.

He glanced at it and continued to play with his mobile phone: she didn't wear it so ugly and broken.

3. I took my underwear in the morning and asked, I took it out of your pocket! Come on, where did you go yesterday?

My husband touched his forehead for a long time and said calmly, I had some wine with some friends yesterday, took a bath, drank the second game, and then came back. I don't know whose underwear this is!

I went up and kicked him and scolded him, didn't you say you worked overtime at work last night? I don't know whose it is! I tell you, it's my mother's!

My wife is a foodie. She said she felt sick at lunch. I said, let's have a physical examination tomorrow and see what the problem is.

Wife: No.

I asked: why not go, not afraid of death?

Wife: If you have a physical examination, you can't eat midnight snack tonight and breakfast tomorrow morning.

Me. . .

My husband went on a business trip yesterday afternoon. I felt empty just after he left for a while, so I sent a message to a circle of friends and said, alas! My husband left again.

Half an hour later, my husband suddenly came back, entered the house without saying a word, looked at every room and asked me: Who do you want to tell in your circle of friends?

For the rest of my life, snow is you, dullness is you, poverty is you, and glory is you.

This is a very popular song recently, and the lyrics are very sweet, which is a promise and expectation. It says: From now until all the time passes, no matter the wind and snow (no matter the ups and downs), the plain will be with you, poverty will be with you, and wealth will be with you. You are the tenderest place in my heart, and I only have eyes for you.

First, you will have unlimited scenery for the rest of your life. For the rest of my life, it is you who will fall into the dust. For the rest of your life, it's you, not what you are. For the rest of my life, elegance is you and poverty is you. For the rest of your life, you will be dull and glory will be you. For the rest of my life, the tenderness caused by my eyes is yours.

Second, for the rest of my life, snow is you, and dullness is you; Poverty is you, glory is you; The tenderness in my heart is you, and my eyes are you. It's also because I happened to powder you, and I won't go there again. The rest of the road, whether it is red or black, we will go on together. From now on, the prosperous times and bright future belong to you.

Third, tolerate all my shortcomings and ignore all my faults. For the rest of my life, snow is you, plain is you, poverty is you, glory is you, and tenderness in my heart is you.

Fourth, you have 60% of my aura and 30% of my delicacy. There is not much left, 10%. Do your best. I hope it will be you for the rest of my life.

If possible, I hope that when I meet you, it doesn't matter whether I meet you slowly or later. I just hope I'm lucky enough to meet you, grow fond of you and spend the rest of my life with you.

6. You are the tenderest place in my heart, and you are all the confidence in my life. I met you for the first time, and I will be you for the rest of my life.

We don't know how deep our feelings are until we see each other through some things, but I hope this is a test given by God, not a reason to force us to break up. If we pass this test, I hope we can face everything together in the future. For the rest of my life, I just want your peace, your glory and your gentleness. Although you may give up on me one day, I don't regret our meeting. I hope things will be as we wish, and we won't be extravagant.

Eight, the rest of my life, the snow is you, the plain is you, poverty is you, glory is you, the heart is gentle, and the eyes are you. Don't worry about the past, don't be afraid of the future, and try to live the life you want. As long as you choose to start, love what you love, do what you want, stick to what you insist on and be the best you can be, life is never too late. So, we, to be continued.

Nine, if the rest of my life is you, how good it would be to meet you once and bless you again.

X. I hope that the future and the rest of my life will be you, plain is you, and wind and rain are you. There is only you in my life, my favorite. Good night

Eleven, the rest of my life? Now that I am a wife and mother, I have never thought about the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Without you in the future, without you for the rest of my life, I can't see you, I can't find you, and I will never forget you. I think if I can go back in time, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you. The rest of your life belongs to you, and the regret belongs to me.

12. I wish you all the best and become the person you want to be. No matter how bad you are, people who love you will understand you. Come on. When you reach a certain age, be mature and look at things carefully. No matter whether the world is gentle or not, please keep your kindness, because good luck will meet unexpectedly, share joys and sorrows, and send charcoal in the snow, and the rest of your life will be the same as before.

Thirteen, the rest of my life, the snow is you, the plain is you, poverty is you, glory is you, the tenderness in my heart is caused by you, and my eyes are also you. I want to take you to see the sunshine, and I want to tell you loudly that I am fascinated by you. The past is in a hurry, and it will always move you.

Fourteen, "The rest of my life is you" is a blessing and a memory. It seems that everyone has his own obsession with the word "the rest of his life". What's it like? Everyone's experience is different, and they will have different tastes.

Sixteen, two people who really love each other are so sweet. I really want to say to you: for the rest of my life, snow is you, dullness is you, brilliance is you, tenderness in my heart is you, and eyes are you.

Many people in the circle of friends shared that "the rest of my life is you", so I went to listen.

There is no * * * in my heart, no mood, no expectation.

Suddenly I feel that I have changed.

I don't know when or why this change began.

Perhaps it is countless times of thinking caused by countless small things, or it may be something that happened in an instant.

I'm just me, and the rest of my life will be just me. Dull is me, glory is me. If you want to see the stars, you can see them yourself. If you want to go to the north, you can go by yourself.

Everyone else is a passer-by

It is enough to be worthy of the sky and not care about people.

Recommended reading: I like you slowly, and I will spend the rest of my life with you.

See this sentence: Every time someone says they like me, I feel that their love is very shallow. I forget it after drinking a glass of wine and give up in three to five days.

In this society, the pace of many things has become faster and many feelings have become faster. After talking for a few days, I said I liked it, and after saying a few good nights, I exaggerated my love, which is inseparable. Mr. Mu Xin's car, horse and mail are all very slow, and it seems far away that he can only love one person in his life.

Suddenly, I felt a little pricked up. In fact, what more people want is not love that can be easily paid, but unique preference, isn't it?

Instead of falling in love and getting married in a hurry, I hope there is such a person who will come slowly from afar, walk into your life, get along with you slowly, get to know each other slowly, like you slowly, and then spend the rest of his life with you.

one

Yesterday, when I was brushing Weibo, I saw the MV of Karen Mok's "Slowly Like You". After listening to this song, I still feel very warm, sweet and practical.

There is a saying in the hot reviews that this song should be played after marriage. It is so gentle that you must listen to it slowly for the rest of your life.

Slowly like you

Get close slowly.

Tell me about yourself slowly

Walk slowly with you

Slowly, I want to cooperate with you.

Give me to you slowly

Slowly like you

Memorize slowly

Accompany you slowly

Grow old slowly

Karen Mok and Feng Delun loved each other for many years, but they didn't get together in the end. At the age of 4 1, she met her first love at the age of 17, walked around, and finally you.

The most touching appearance of love is not vigorous, nor is it all sweet talk, but it is to blend into each other's life bit by bit and live a great happiness that belongs only to each other in plain days.

Just like a popular saying recently: I love three things, the day, the month and the clear; The day is morning, the month is late, and the Qing dynasty is morning and evening.

two

There is such a video that is liked by millions of people on Tik Tok. I don't know if you have seen it.

In a very literary shop, many young girls are choosing hair bands and headdresses. An old man chose a beautiful and strong headrope and braided his grandmother standing in front of the mirror. All the girls around him have envious eyes, but only each other.

That scene is so beautiful that through their eyes, it seems that they have supported each other and accompanied them for most of their lives.

Consider Mao Mu's words: God's millstone turns slowly, but it grinds very finely. The turntable of love also turns slowly, but it turns seriously. I walk slowly, but I never flinch.

Imagine that there will be such a person in life, who will slowly approach you, like you, and boil the years into poems with you. You know his likes and dislikes, he knows your dislikes, and they get to know each other better and better, and the tacit understanding is getting stronger and stronger, even without words. One look is enough, which is really a very happy thing.

There will be disputes, three years of pain and seven years of itching, but fortunately, no one has let go, so they have supported each other through many mountains and rivers for four seasons and six years.

Like is the joy of falling in love at first sight, but love is never tired. I envy those old couples holding hands at dusk and sunset more than lovers kissing in the street.

A person will hold your hand and grow old with your son all his life, waiting for you all his life.

three

The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you.

When we get old, we'll find a small town and die. We will go to the vegetable market together to watch the sunrise in the morning and walk together to watch the afterglow of the sunset in the evening. You will take the initiative to buy my favorite fruit, and I will remember to cook your favorite porridge for you.

We will plant flowers all over the yard, which will be gentle all year round. I like you to look me in the eye. I will read the story in the book to you, and you will also tell me about my favorite rock and guitar when I was a child.

You love my beauty when I was young, and you will love the wrinkles around my eyes when I am dying. I love your chic when I am young, and I will love your white hair when I am old.

In Me Before You, I know that love is a detail, a touch, a romance, an expectation and all the beauty in the world. When I met you, I suddenly realized that love is you.

May you meet a lover as soon as possible, like it slowly, and stay with you for life.

I want to see the clear sky in Wan Li with you, and I want to tell you loudly that I am crazy about you. I only want you for the rest of my life; For the rest of my life, happiness is you, happiness is you, health is you, kindness is you, gentleness is you; As long as my health is safe, I am satisfied.