A selection of happy hour jokes.

1, as a typical failure, you are really successful.

I just learned to ride a bike when I was a child. Before I knew it, I ran into the street. When I saw an old man walking in front of me, I felt I was going to hit it. I said, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, so I turned around and hit him. The old man stood up and said, did you aim?

If there is 300W, do you think it is better to buy Mercedes or Ferrari?

It's best to buy 300 second-hand Otto cars and hire 300 drivers to drive behind you, one in an S shape and the other in a B shape.

4, smile a lot, beware of cloudy mood cold!

I smile at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then go to bed!

6, Lu Yao knows that horsepower is insufficient, and people will see it for a long time.

7. My father expressed his opinion about my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.

8. I never hold grudges. Usually I report it on the spot.

9. Don't cry at my grave. Dirty my path of reincarnation.

10, that's right, Mr. Zhang. You can't press CTRL+C on your home computer and then CTRL+V on your company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, it's not even an expensive computer.

1 1, I thought you were just a number between 1 and 3, but I didn't expect you to be a combination of 1 and 3.

12, a cannibal went to work, and the manager repeatedly explained that he could not eat his colleagues and agreed. I couldn't help eating a detergent in a few days.

People were discovered immediately. The sentiment is: never eat people who really do things.

13. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

14, people never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

15, the road to success is always under construction.

16, if I don't go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell.

17, guess an English sentence: "ababbaaaaaaaaaaaabbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"?

18, think of your eyebrows, think of ambiguity. I suddenly feel that most of my thoughts are like this, and they are getting weaker and weaker (I vaguely remember that this is the lyrics of Faye Wong's "I don't want this either", don't you know? )

19. Years later, I lamented those two teenagers: one was amazing and the other was gentle.

20. If she (he) says to you, "Forget me." You tell each other, "I never remember."

2 1, you are very kind to us. I will always remember that I will never let you go if I am a ghost.

Dear female colleagues, please don't be angry with me. My wife has a caller ID.

23. Smile, wave, goodbye and end.

I remember I decided to be an interesting person.

25, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

26. Well, give me an affordable grave.

27. I have lived for more than 20 years and have done nothing for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

28. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. It's only been a few years

29. Earn money to sell cabbage and white powder.

Boys aged 30 and 7 are the most terrible creatures on earth. They are curious, active, destructive and have the law on the protection of minors.

3 1, people are awesome-I won't pay back if I say no!

32. Laozi said: Sleep can sleep, very sleep.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.

God said: don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.

35. Special people never say they are special, such as me.

36. My answer was good, but Tai said he couldn't come.

37. I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet!

38. I will take my sunshine road and you will cross your Naihe Bridge.

39. The world belongs to us and our children, but in the end it belongs to our children and grandchildren!

40. Whenever I am in trouble, I will read Tibetan scriptures: "Oh, moo, coax", which translates into English: all the money goes to my house!

4 1, the simplest secret of longevity-keep breathing and don't die.

42. When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say, sorry, this is a private car.

Kindness means not eating meat when others are hungry.

44, the long road of life, there will always be a few wrong steps.

45. I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him …

46. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage.

47, my hobby can be divided into static and dynamic, static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over …

48, where you fall, you get up from there ... always fall there, I suspect there is a pit!

49, alas ~ this person is not straight, even the headache is partial.

50. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

5 1, people always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We embarrassed ghosts and gods.

52. Ask who is the most enlightened person in the world, and I will do my part.

If you can't tolerate me, it means that you are either too narrow-minded or too great in personality.

54. I will walk until the water blocks my way. I am thirsty; Then sit and watch the rising clouds, dizzy.

55, I want to learn from the phoenix nirvana, but I accidentally ... cooked it!

Anyway, my life is always different from their calculations. I don't know whether they are wrong or I am wrong.

57. You have a 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth, which Baidu can't find.

58. Of course God will forgive me, because that's his profession.

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