202 1 Best Content Film

Lao Liu was on a business trip and chose to take the train in a low-key way.

After a sleepless night, Lao Liu finally couldn't bear it. So, knocked on the bed board and said:

"Beauty, can you let me sleep?"

Sister leaned out, looked at it, was silent for a few seconds, and then gently replied:

"Good, you come up!"

……

Later, Liu often recalled the wonderful past and sincerely lamented:

Generation gap, how nice!

Second, counterfeit money.

The couple divorced for their children. In court, my wife said confidently, of course, the child born in my belly is mine.

The husband said angrily, jokes, nonsense. Can the money in the ATM go to the ATM? It's not about who inserted the card.

The judge fainted on the spot, and even the lawyer admired him.

The wife then said, if it comes out as counterfeit money, do you want it?

Everyone present fainted and still hasn't woken up.

Third, triplets.

Four years later, at the gate of the kindergarten, many people were picking up their children. A man picked up three boys, which looked very special. Everyone is surprised by triplets. Q: Are your three grandchildren triplets?

The man shook his head and said, one is my grandson and the other is my son.

Everyone asked: What about the rest?

The man cried and said, it's my brother.

Fourth, the potential of dogs fighting people.

Husband: Wife, let me tell you something ...

Wife: Say it!

Husband: Wife, eating at noon may offend your father. ...

Wife: What's the matter?

Husband: When I said the idiom "A dog beats a man" at dinner, I choked on the rice and only said the first three words …

Wife: That's not terrible!

Husband: Nothing. What's more, your father asked me: Are you talking about me? I just said "potential" ...

Five, the bank death rule

I saw a scene in China Industrial and Commercial Bank today. There is a table in the hall with several offerings on it. Next to him was a Taoist in a yellow robe holding wood blade, muttering to himself back and forth. ...

I asked the person next to me what was going on.

The man replied, I don't know the password of the passbook, but the bank will come in person. ...

Sixth, the child's words are unscrupulous.

Daughter-in-law does housework at home, and her husband is lying on the sofa with his legs crossed and playing with his mobile phone.

The child suddenly said, Dad, you are really something. I really admire you.

Dad asked: Why?

The child said: You are really capable, married with such a good wife, can cook, do housework, make money and be beautiful. ...

A delicious meal. Dad was proud of it, and the child looked up and said to his mother, Mom, you can't. Look what you married. ...

Seven, really good at accounting.

Anonymous bought a 1000 dress, which I suspect is a little expensive.

She said: expensive? I'm telling you, the original price of this dress is 2000 yuan, and it's half cheaper after 50% discount, which means I earned 1000! Although I spent 1000, I also earned 1000, so this dress is equivalent to a free gift. Do you think it's weird?

I was shocked by her economic mathematics mind for a long time. ...

Eight, the price of jokes

A buddy went to the Civil Affairs Bureau early in the morning and insisted on divorcing his wife. ...

The staff asked: "What is divorce? It's early morning. Just live a good life. ? "

My buddy said, "I told her a joke when I went home last night, and she didn't laugh."

The staff said: "Stay away, because of this, this is nothing, nonsense, you can't leave."

The brothers all cried: "She didn't laugh, damn it, a man under the bed couldn't help laughing …" "

Nine, pit dad

Raising a child is like launching a satellite. It takes more than ten years to ensure that every link and data are correct. The last successful transmission, admitted to the university, and then the satellite disappeared into the vast outer space, leaving only some weak signals sent back from time to time. . . Give some money. . . Give some money. . .

I sent the money to the satellite and told him to eat well and wear warm clothes. The satellite sent back a weak signal. . . Don't be wordy. . . Don't be wordy. . .

When the signal is stable, it will take a lifetime of savings to help him build a space station.

So cheat people, incredibly still called on everyone to build two. ...

Share the best classic quotations in September.

1, the road ahead is still so long, I don't know the ending, and I don't make assumptions. I just want to see my whole life.

2. Time is changing and people are changing. Some things, no matter how hard we try, can't go back.

Don't say that the opportunity has never appeared, but you can't bear to let go of what you have.

4. Youth is doomed to be bumpy, with tears and sweat, grievances, unwillingness and failure.

5. Life is a lotus with a thousand petals. Since it refuses to bloom, it also refuses to wither.

6. I used to think that sadness would cause a lot of tears; Now I know that the real sadness is that I can't shed a tear.

7. Appropriate time and shade; There is a connection between people. This is the best life I want.

8. We have worked hard, cherished and have a clear conscience. Leave the rest to fate.

9. People often cover up a devil's heart with sincere appearance and pious actions.

10, life is in a hurry, there is no need to compromise, it is most important to live in the way you like, do what you like, and pamper yourself.

1 1. If we can always be aware, we can find grace in pain, and we can have less doubt and more belief.

12, your life will not fail you. The wrong turn, tears and sweat make you unique.

13, if a person has nothing to rely on, he will often become strong.

14, when people are around, so there will be opportunities. In fact, life is subtraction, and when you meet it, you will lose one side.

15, life is like a road, be patient. Walking, maybe you will walk out of the bustling scenery in the desolation.

16, the important sign of maturity is not that you have learned to express, but that you have learned to swallow.

17, some wounds will heal after a long time, and some grievances will be relieved after they are figured out.

18, sometimes, we have to shut up, put down our pride and admit that we are wrong. This is not giving up, but growing up!

19, happiness, there is never a shortcut, nor is it perfect, only management, only by sincerity.

20. No matter how many people we have experienced, there is only one who can accompany you in the end. You don't know the only one until you are old. No tossing, no greed, just a lifetime.

2 1, if you always see things too clearly, you will often lose the courage to do things.

22. What can't be forgotten is memory, and what continues is life. If you miss it, then you should pass by.

23. It's not that you don't pursue it, but that you don't force it. Live your life calmly, don't be vigorous, just seek peace of mind.

One day, you will understand that many things are not as good or as bad as you think.

25. After taking the first step, the next step becomes simple. Do what you want to do today and don't let your future self regret it.

26. Never be afraid to be yourself. Remember, originality is always more meaningful than piracy.

27. The rings of time are engraved on young faces, which increases our understanding of the meaning of life.

28. Look on the bright side, look forward and get close to the goal. Only in this way can we not waste our life.

29. After you left, I was fine, neither bad nor bad, neither surprised nor happy, but everything was just right.

30. The most painful thing is not to leave, but to remember deeply after leaving.

Connotation and depth 202 1 opening remarks of annual summary

1. As a comprehensive department of our factory, office work is complicated and trivial, and many jobs are unpredictable. Over the past year, under the leadership of the factory department, with the joint efforts of all employees and the cooperation of brother departments, the office has always been in accordance with the requirements of "annual planning, monthly focus, weekly arrangement, daily tasks, and responsibility to people", closely focusing on serving the production management and logistics work of our factory, striving to coordinate the working relationship between various departments, earnestly performing their duties and cooperating with each other, and successfully completing the task.

2. The law is rejuvenated and everything is renewed. We bid farewell to the outstanding achievements of 20xx and ushered in a promising 20xx. Over the past year, we have paid and gained; We have laughter and tears. In 20xx years, under the correct guidance of the leaders, with the active support and great help of my colleagues, I was able to be strict with myself, perform my supervisor's duties better and complete my tasks better. To sum up, I have gained a lot!

Time flies, one year's work will soon become history, _ _ year will soon pass, and _ _ year will come soon. The new year means a new starting point, new opportunities, new challenges and the determination to "make persistent efforts to a higher level". We must strive to create a new situation in our work. 20__ years, better complete the work, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, now sum up.

In the past 20xx years, with the help of leaders and colleagues, through my unremitting efforts, I got exercise in my work and made some achievements. "Looking back is to better face the future. It is undoubtedly a pleasant thing to take stock of one's annual harvest, just like a farmer with food in his hand and joy in his heart; It is also a painful thing to take stock of your work for one year. It is a pity to think that some of my ambitions and plans have not been implemented, or even if they have been implemented, the results are not so satisfactory. Fortunately, we still have a future, and the days continue. Summing up the experience and lessons will definitely help us move forward.

5. Over the past year, under the correct leadership of the leaders in charge of the bank and Director Chen, and with the active cooperation of all the comrades in the department, I was able to do my job well in accordance with the requirements of various rules and regulations in the bank and the work target plan at the beginning of the year, and strictly demand and restrain myself with the standard of "morality, ability, diligence, performance and honesty" to successfully complete the annual work tasks. The work and research are summarized as follows:

Through this year's study, the enlightenment and education I received played a great role in my future development. How to be a respected and good nurse is my goal. I will start with the little things and details around me, and always remember that I am a life-saving angels in white.

7. Since working for _ _ years, I have finished my work seriously, studied hard, thought positively, and gradually improved my personal ability. With the development of the company, my job as a design department of the company is particularly important. So in practical work, I always strictly demand that I be cautious.

8. With the joint efforts of all colleagues, with the full support and concern of the company leaders, with the aim of serving customers and focusing on optimizing services, we expanded the propaganda and information functions of _ _ _ and _ _ _, served and managed the business from the perspective of customer interests, improved the visibility of the enterprise and maximized the benefits. Through solid efforts, we successfully completed the work for 20 years.

9. This year 1 month, I changed my job. In my new job, as a new employee, with the guidance and help of my leaders and colleagues, I quickly adjusted my status and actively integrated into the new working environment, laying a good foundation for doing a good job in the future. Now I will report on my work and study in the past year:

10.20__ year is drawing to a close, and the lost time has become history. Only today belongs to us, and only today can we grasp it! We should learn to be grateful and happy in prosperity, mature and strong in adversity! Learn to create brilliance with passion and make our life more exciting. Failure is not the mother of success, but the summary after failure is the mother of success. The work of the past year is summarized as follows for the reference of leaders and colleagues. Please criticize and correct the shortcomings.

165438+ Especially after I joined the work, with the support and help of my leaders and colleagues, I benefited a lot from the exercise I got in all aspects. Here, I must sincerely express my deep gratitude to all leaders and colleagues for their tolerance, encouragement and help during this time. The following is a brief review and summary of my thoughts and work study since I joined the work.

12. Looking back on the work in the past 20 years, there are fruitful joys, difficulties in tackling key problems with colleagues, and melancholy when encountering difficulties and setbacks. Time flies, unconsciously, the hopeful 20_ year is approaching with the beginning of the new year. It can be said that 20_ years is a crucial year for the company to promote industry reform, expand the market and sustain development. The important work this year is summarized as follows:

13.20_ This year is of special significance for a newcomer who has just set foot on the job. Being in a new environment, facing all kinds of strangers around me, there are also various challenges waiting for me. Fortunately, my department is a very United, warm and harmonious department. With the ardent care of the leaders and the enthusiastic help of my colleagues, I quickly eliminated the strangeness around me, better integrated into this excellent group, and kept learning and growing. The situation since the work is summarized as follows:

14.20_ In this year, under the great care and correct guidance of the leaders of the company and various departments, I focused on my job responsibilities, based on my post, worked hard and worked hard, and successfully completed various tasks. The personal work report is summarized as follows:

15. I fully completed the annual work target set by the department and was fully affirmed by the leaders and colleagues. Now I summarize my work in 20xx as follows.

16. Over the past year, under the correct leadership of the company's leaders, with the enthusiastic help and support of colleagues, through their unremitting efforts, their ideological level and working ability have been greatly improved, and their professional and technical level has also been greatly improved, especially in the implementation of the "standardization construction of safety and quality and standardization construction of equipment quality" proposed by the company, which has laid a good foundation for the daily management of the workshop.

17. As the New Year bell approaches, Yiyi bid farewell to the hard and fruitful 20xx year and warmly ushered in the bright and hopeful 20xx year. At the end of the year, the work done by the company in the past year is reported as follows:

18. I will try my best to take part in the work in 20xx years. After all, I am still young and need to work harder. It is the best moment in life to struggle more when you are young. After this age, I have no energy and ability to fight. I will work hard while I am young and strive for my own blue sky!

19.20__ year is about to pass. I have been in _ _ company for one year. With the guidance, care and help of the company's leaders, I have continuously improved the working ability and quality of a field worker, maintained a modest attitude of focusing on learning and taking the interests of the company as the starting point, worked hard, closely focused on the company's annual goals, and conscientiously did my own job. In order to sum up the past,

20. Under the leadership and care of the Party Committee present, under the supervision of the Education Department present, and with the joint efforts of the teachers and students of the whole school, with the deepening of education reform and the comprehensive promotion of quality education, the education and teaching work in our school has ushered in a pioneering and innovative spring, and has taken a scientific step in school management. Over the past year, we have achieved good results in all aspects and have been recognized by all walks of life and parents!

Best paragraph in 2020

20xx Best Film (Hot Film) 1. This is a sentence written by a child to the emperor of mathematics. The name is "The Legend of Jiangchengzi Ge Jun": When I got the test paper, I felt cold and nervous. I forgot the formula, but the solution was unknown, and the vector geometry was ambiguous. Looking at the sequence, I cried a thousand lines. Two hours later, I walked out of the examination room and saw my classmates. I was so sad that I was ashamed to meet my parents. I stayed until the teacher handed out papers and went to the cemetery to drink arsenic.

2. A buddy had a very good relationship with the female deskmate in high school. Once he asked her: How much is your monthly flow? Stunned, the girl confessed in a low voice: 100cc or so, and my buddy yelled: I asked you about the monthly subscription of your mobile phone!

Me: Would you like to be my girlfriend? She: I think we'd better be friends. After 30 seconds, I asked again: Can you be my girlfriend? She: It's really inappropriate! My brother was furious. Keep saying that I chased you twice and you refused. It's embarrassing. No, you have to chase me back once, let me refuse you and balance your mentality! The woman was very helpless and said to me, handsome boy, will you be my boyfriend? Brother, answer well! Join hands to succeed!

4. Town bus. Ticket prices have gone up in 2 yuan these days. I asked the conductor how to get on, and she said, It's air-conditioned now. I said: It used to be an air-conditioned car. She said: now it is a very serious air-conditioned car! I didn't understand it then. I walked under the car and was shocked. . . (@ Cangnan p)

I saw a guy hitting a woman today. Did you stop it? Yes, I ran over to him and said, it's not a hero to hit a woman. Why not hit a man? What happened afterwards? Later ... later ... I know nothing.

6. After watching the trailer of "The Beginning of Great Rejuvenation", I have an impulse and pride to build a party. (@ Li Tiegen)

7.Aaron = AronEcho= two dogs; Gordon = dog egg; Ada = Ada Kenny = pit mud; Daniel; Daisy = Dacui; Steve = shit; Simon = bolt the door; Nicole = Niukeng; Amanda = Amada; Peter = preserved egg; Orson= dog leftovers; Sunny= silly mud; David = big fat; Sandra = tied pig; Candy = pothole; Johnson = Changying; Candy= kengdi do you have any colleagues who use these vulgar English names?

8. It is said that this is the composition of the 20xx national college entrance examination English volume: suppose you are Li Hua, and collect readers' opinions on the occasion of the fifth anniversary of the publication of your favorite Global Mirror Weekly, including: 1 indicating that you are a loyal reader of the newspaper; 2. Appreciate the advantages of newspapers; 3 Suggestions: Publish articles about English learning.

9. If your girlfriend is also a fan of Harry Potter, you can learn from Trehlo, a Reddit user who hollowed out a Harry Potter book and hid an engagement ring in it. If your girlfriend is angry because you destroyed the book, show her the title of the chapter behind the ring, the unbreakable oath! ~ I think she will melt ~ ~

10. Amin secretly loves a female classmate and decides to write to her anonymously first. The friend asked: How did she react? Amin: Very excited. Friend: That's good! ! Then Amin: Then she called the police. . . It turned out that his anonymous letter was pieced together by cutting different sizes of type from the newspaper, which read: I have paid attention to you for a long time.

20xx Best Works (Classic)

1. When I returned to the office after my physical examination today, Lao Zhang was very sad and asked him what happened, saying that my son did not do well in the exam. Ask him how many points he got in the exam. Lao Zhang said: the blood pressure in the three courses is not as high as that of Lao Zi.

Tomorrow, some students will go to the entrance of the college entrance examination center to install admission tickets for some college entrance examination students and then say no.

3. Dragon Boat Festival gives you a famous poem "Zongzi Poetry" collected by Feng Menglong in the hanging branches: Dragon Boat Festival in May is my birthday. I'm wearing a green coat and my feet are sharp. I untied the incense ribbon, stripped off my clothes, stuck a tip, and bit my slave all over (@ Cow eats grass).

4. A teacher taught inspirational Dafa, saying that when reading a book in the future, he should take a small mirror with him. If he couldn't stand it, he took a look at himself with the mirror and said to himself: You have grown into this B-shape, but you still can't read well. ...

The day before graduation, he watched her sit at the same table and write a paper with headphones on. He wanted to confess to her, but he was too shy to ask. Finally, he tried to call her by name. She didn't respond at all, but she still wrote the paper, so he quietly said everything he wanted to say to her. After the bell rang, he left his seat, and her deskmate released the pause button and burst into tears.

6. Do you know why Shenma college entrance examination is scheduled for June 7th and 8th? Answer: Admit it.

7. The doctor said to the patient: You are very ill. People with your disease have only one in ten chances of survival. But you are lucky to invite me to be your doctor. I just treated nine patients like you recently, and they all died.

8. A criminal escaped from prison and was arrested again. Policeman: Say it! Why did you run away? Criminal: The food here is terrible. Policeman: Then what did you use to break the bars on the fence? Criminals: Steamed bread at noon.

9. I met a beautiful netizen and said that she had a oval face and was very beautiful. The dormitory boss drooled and went out to see people all night. Pushing the door, he threw himself on the bed and cried, watermelon face is that. The key problem is that her tip came up! ! !

10. That is to say, that classmate was a primary school. On the eve of the final exam. In the evening, he heard his parents discussing what to make him breakfast tomorrow morning. His mother said, why don't you make fried dough sticks and eggs? One fried dough stick and two eggs are a hundred points. His father was silent for a while and said, 100 is not enough. Why don't you give him instant noodles to eat that uniform 100.

20xx Best Works (Selected Works)

1. Sima Qian got the college entrance examination composition Guangdong: Back to the original point Sima Qian accepted castration and returned to the original point, enduring humiliation and writing down historical records. Jiangsu: Rejecting mediocrity Sima Qian refused mediocrity and wrote historical records with humiliation. Shandong: After Sima Qian was castrated, he continued to walk on the road of life and wrote historical records with humiliation. Jiangxi: Embrace Sima Qian, embrace power, bear the burden of humiliation and write historical records. Anhui: Time is running out. After Sima Qian was castrated, his time became less and less, and he had to bear the burden of writing historical records.

What if my future girlfriend is taking the college entrance examination? ! Oh, I'm nervous just thinking about it. Come on, honey! ! ! I thought this year's college entrance examination had nothing to do with me. On the sixth night, I leaned back and slept soundly as usual. . . Lying in bed last night, I suddenly thought of an extremely important question: what if my future girlfriend is taking the college entrance examination? Oh, the more I think about it, the more nervous I get. The more nervous I am, the less I can sleep. Until dawn, I kept saying to myself: Come on, dear! ! !

She cried her eyes out when she walked out of the examination room. Seeing such a beautiful girl crying like a pear with rain, the candidates were shocked. Regardless of other people's eyes, he grabbed her and said fiercely, I will kiss you in public if I cry again. She cried even harder. Mathematics is too difficult for us to go to the same university. Idiot knows you can't. I didn't do anything big afterwards.

4. The composition topic of the college entrance examination is My Time, I Reject Mediocrity, I always want to have an expectation, I expect to grow up, the scenery is full of flowers, I embrace and I am frank, which opens a whisper with nature in old books.

5. The chrysanthemum itches. Wherever we are in autumn, we can see chrysanthemums in full bloom. It has a strong vitality and needs no careful care. Please write an article on chrysanthemum cultivation with at least 800 words.

6. Ningxia's perfect composition has fewer words, only eight words: turn on the TV at seven o'clock every night. This year's college entrance examination composition in Ningxia is about the rise of China. There are only eleven words in the new subject composition: Qiushi, People's Daily and Global Times.

7. This year's essay topic in Jiangsu Province is "Rejecting mediocrity". The shortest composition is only one sentence: teacher, I refuse to write this topic. The teacher pondered it over and painfully scored full marks. (@ Xu Zhuoyang)

8. Standing in front of the Leifeng Tower, Xu Xian said bitterly, "Fahai, you bald donkey, why did you put my wife under this Leifeng Tower and let us separate?" ? ! Before Fahai could speak, White Snake whispered in the tower: I want to buy a villa in Hangzhou. Do I need to count on your small clinic?

9. I invited a buddy to dinner today. He may have eaten too much. On the bus, he couldn't help burping three times in a row: Er ~ Er ~ Er ~ A little friend in the next seat was sitting on his mother's lap, and he said in a milk voice: Qu Tian Ge ~ The whole car was laughing crazy. I choked up my internal injuries in the corner alone (@ Youjing David).

10. The boyfriend looked at his girlfriend up and down and said, I noticed that your voice hasn't dropped recently. His girlfriend interrupted him and roared, Don't say fat, don't say fat! Boyfriend nodded and said: swollen!